/petty theft/

File for unemployment you cunt (assuming you're in usa)

>>18519675
I'm located in Australia.

I've filed for unemployment but they now make you wait 6 months before you can receive your first payment.

I have 5 months to go now before I'll get my first payment and I don't think I'll be able to survive until then. I am currently living with a friend of mine for free but I really don't know how long that arrangement will be able to last and I don't want to be a burdon on him for too long.

Don't be a nigger

Find an employment agency like neato

>>18519740
>>18519744

Thanks for the tips guys!

Are you a woman? It would probably be easier with a purse or handbag.

>>18519748
Male. I'm fairly athletic so climbing and lifting is not an issue for me.

I was thinking of dumpster diving at electronic stores as I have heard they throw away some very good things.

>>18519751
Only useful if you can do the repairs yourself.

Sell plasma, get food from the food bank, and don't buy a damned thing unless you absolutely need it right NOW. Stay indoors. Cancel all cable plans. Stop smoking/drinking. Hang in there.

Pro tip: Tofu, Soybeans, and regular beans are your friends. Don't buy meat. It's expensive for the protein you get,

>>18519658
>steal pens
>get comfortable stealing pens
>start to steal office supplies
>go bigger and bigger
>Sell shit on eBay
>use money to buy water bottles
>head to beach and sell them for a higher price
>profit
>wash rinse repeat

>>18519757
Thank you!! In Australia it is illegal to sell plasma so I have been visiting the red cross and donating. They let me visit every two weeks and I am allowed to eat as much food as I can fit when I visit. I've been surviving on kidney beans mixed in with 2 minute noodles the last few weeks which has proven very cost effective and I enjoy the taste.

>>18519758
Do office supplies have good resale value? I have a huge stash of pens and staplers from my last job.

>>18519762
Winter will be ending out there soon. If you can get any fresh veggies, pick out as many seeds as you can and save them. Dry them out. Plant them for more food once spring arrives.

If you plant the roots part of an onion (the part they cut off) sometimes it will regrow. Same for the leafy tops on carrots.

>>18519763
I'll be trying this ASAP. My friend has a big yard that he never uses so I'll be easily able to plant fruits and vegetables.

Water doesn't cost too much here so I'm sure growing them wont be too much of an issue.

>>18519684
>>18519658
Hi fellow Ausbro. Use the self serve at coles/woolies and "forget" to scan some expensive items.
The risk is that you need to have enough that if they catch you can at least pay for everything before returning it and getting your money back.

>>18519800
Thanks /mate/!

I've been too scared to try this in the past but friends of mine have told me how they have put through hundreds of dollars worth of meat through as brown onions at Coles and Woolies before!

Seems easy to get away with if you go at the peak rush on a weekend or afternoon.

>>18519815
Just keep an eye out for guards that are watching closely or undercover cops. They had a sting going around watching for people.
The punishment is only a fine but that would fuck you up.
That's why I try to always make sure it could be played off as missing a barcode when I put it through or something rather than being dodgy like people who put shit in their bags/pockets.

>>18519818
Yeah great advice. I think the best time at my local store would be 4pm as it is covered head to toe in school kids running amok and stealing as well.

>>18519822
Double check if your local has the scales turned on in the bagging area. If not you can pass through multiple things together but only scan the cheapest item.
A cursory glance looks like you are still bagging everything and you can hear the scanning beep so it seems legit unless they look closely and see that you just put in 1 large thing and 3 small things (I have never had anyone notice).

For what it is worth I have been doing this and spending $20-40 on my groceries when they would normally cost $100+ for a good 4+ years now. I have been spotted a couple times but then I just thank the staff for letting me know and scan the things I missed.
Probably helps to not be in a poor/lower socioeconomic area.

>>18519658
You don't have to steal.

Go to garage sales, public library book sales and the like just before closing time. Offer them a ridiculously low price ($2-5) for everything that's left. 90% of the time they'll take it.

Sell what's easily mailable on Ebay or local equivalents. Have your own monthly garagge sale with what's left.

>>18519914
>>18519828

Thanks everyone. I'm overwhelmed by the help and insight you have given. Its good to know there is an alternative to stealing.

Legit go on the shoplifting subreddit.
Helped me out of a few tight spots.
Good research. Safely looted a lot of food and clothes to nail interviews.

>>18520200
Sweet thanks!

I found the shoplifiting and another one for stealing.

The stealing one mainly has info about breaking into cars though and I only feel comfortable taking from companies.

Go to the local skate park and look for some kids on scooters.
Tell em you will pay them to distract a cashier or something and while they are inside grab the scooters and leg it.
Sell scooters for $$$

>>18520223
kek

>stealing for profit


>not hanging around an airport departure lounge before the security, wearing a sharp business suit talking loudly on a phone about foreign currency and not being able to take it with you because of business policy, then selling them on to gullible tourists and selling them using a fake currency exchange rate website showing 1 aussie dollar equals 2 yen

>>18520273

HAHAHHAHHA

ONE DOLLAR FO TWO YEN

>>18520273
WAT

>>18520184
Don't steal. If you steal in Australia they transport you to London where you have to live among the filthy criminals and non-whites.

>>18520859
>Implying Australia isn't a convict colony

>>18519658
Can't you just sell bottle of gasoline to the abbos to huff?

OP why don't you break into public libraries. Fuck all security and computers galore.

>>18521134
It was a convict colony.
Look at Australia vs. London now, though.

>>18521298
Then you are stealing from yourself.

If you steal from the tax avoiding big chains then they are the ones that suffer. Sure they say that all the customers suffer because they have to raise their prices but fuck those places and the people who shop there. At least if they have to raise their prices it would make smaller mom & pop places more competitive. Those places already fuck over everybody else by making their staples like milk and bread cost price or below and drawing in shoppers away from their competition.

>>18519658
Do want the bums in the USA do -- make a sign and beg.

Sign reads

Applied 600 jobs
5 months left for unemployment.

Go sit outside the most trafficked spot.

begging is much better than stealing.

>>18523428
>stealing
And he might get a job offer