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In every group of friends that I've been with, I've always hit a dead end where I'm not able to advance up the social hierarchy beyond a trivial position. I see the more respected peers up at the top who are basically the leaders that everyone values and considers them essential to the group, while I get stuck at the bottom as a guy that nobody actually cares if I'm there or not either way. This makes me become super resentful and I end up cutting myself out completely, only to join some other group where the same thing happens again. Like fuck man I'm willing to improve myself and my social skills, but when I do, it only seems to make me more tolerable to be around while still being a nobody. I have autism so I'm a bit of a retard and a sperg, but excuses aside do I ever have a chance of moving higher?
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>>18513230
Friends aren't a job. Stop treating them as such. Maybe if you tried to connect with instead of use people, you would have a better time.
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>>18513249
When did I ever state that I use people? It's got nothing to do with that. It's about people not giving you the time of day no matter how many advances you give. It gets frustrating when no matter how much you admire someone and try to establish a mutual friendship and they just don't feel the same way. Some people just simply decide you're not worthy of your time, and refuse to give an inch. Fuck that shit, especially when it's on a repeated occasion.
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>>18513263
But people don't have to be your friends. They are not obligated to do anything back to you, even if you admire them.
I said "use" because you talk about positions in the social hierarchy. Tht's bollocks. If you are havong fun with your friends, it doesn't matter who the "leader" is.
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>>18513272
>no hierarchy
I wouldn't quite say that but I sure OP occupies the position of "that guy, you know can't remember his name" guy. He's not essential.
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>>18513287
"Essential" for what? If he connects with people in a "personal" level, instead of in a "group position" level, he will be essential to someone.
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>>18513294
Possibly but I'm just saying that he is a vestigial appendage to the group. He calls them his friends when they're more like distance classmates/colleagues. I don't think he's ever had actual friends.
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>>18513310
Yeah, that's quite likely.
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>>18513230
I tend to agree with >>18513272, the fact that you talk about groups of friends as a way of achieving certain status instead of a way of just making a good friend kind of points where your problem might be.
I never cared about "social hierarchy", in fact, if you asked me I would say that I prefer being in a bottom position. I just like to hang out with people that I like because I find it enjoyable. Despite this, I've learned a couple of months ago that in my group of friends I'm considered "the líder", and that there even was an unspoken rule that new people weren't really part of the group until I made friends with them. I had no idea of this, mind you, I thought we were just equal.
So comming from someone who aparently achieved what you want, just stop caring about social hierarchy, and instead just focus on making at least one real friend.
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>>18513344
...are you humble bragging?
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