Me and my ex gf broke up in february 2015. We have no talked

Mail her a hand written letter.

>>18512753

That would be too much. She dropped me out of her life, I can't (and don't want to) make a comenack. Just tell her I'm sorry and that's it.

Okay, spill. What sorts of things did you say to her?

I'm not just being thirsty for gossip, it's relevant, dude. Hard to know what kind of an apology is appropriate (or isn't) unless we know what we're dealing with here.

>>18512745
let it go OP. Over two years so let it go. You aren't doing this for her you are doing it for you

>>18512770

It's a long story. But tl:dr, we were the first one for each other. We broke up a couple times and then come back. The last ride, she was fully commited to make it work, and I was fucking cold to her. She tried to do her best meanwhile I was just mean. Whenever she got mad at me(for totally valid reasons) I told her she was crazy and that all was her fault. Etc etc. English is not my first language so it's difficult to tell the whole story with all the little nuances, but the core of the story is that she tried to make it work and I just wanted to see her once a month for sex.

>>18512781

Of course, and I know and I write that down on the message I want to send her.

>>18512781
I don't fully agree with that. I don't fully disagree either, but I don't think the fact that he's partly doing it to assuage his guilt means that he shouldn't do it. I don't think there's any harm, so long as he keeps it classy and makes it clear that it's just an apology and he's not expecting anything in return.

>>18512782
OK, dude. First thing you do: let your current girlfriend know you're doing this. What you're doing is innocent, but you don't want her to find out later that you messaged your ex, especially if she responds and you end up having a real conversation.

When you message your ex, keep it short and sweet. Don't beat yourself up, don't pour your heart out. Just tell her, "Hey, I hope you're doing well. Yesterday I was reading some of our old conversations and I just wanted to say that the way I treated you wasn't right. I'm not looking for anything from you, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. Take care, I wish you the best."

Put that in your own words if you want, but that should be the gist of it. If you write any more than that you're just going to bring up bad memories, and that's not something she'll appreciate, even if it makes you feel better.

>>18512745
First of all, "hey girl", "fucking douchebag"?

You sound like a douchebag anyway.

>>18512785
Don't write that. It's unpleasant and unnecessary, even if it's true. Seriously, keep it short - apologize for your behavior and wish her well. Two, three sentences, max.

If you go into specifics and apologize for every bad thing you've done, and even apologize for apologizing, you're just going to put her through the wringer.

>>18512791

Thanks anon, you are a cool guy.

>>18512785
Leave it alone OP or if you must write the note and burn it. She won't receive the contact (and I guess apology) from you in the way you imagine. It's good you recognize you were a dick and am guessing you are no longer a dick but you don't need her to confirm that for YOU.

>>18512799
If he'd threatened her or abused her, I'd agree 100% - all messaging her would accomplish would be to scare her and ruin her month. But it sounds like he was just a callous douchebag. All I can say is that, having been through a few incredibly shitty breakups myself, sometimes a quick apology (even a very belated one) can provide a sense of closure and help you move on.

>>18512796
It was an example, the first prototype of the message is:

Hello [name]. I'm writing you for a selfish reason because I am reading old conversartions between us and I'm at the verge of tears here in my office. I'm at the verge of tears because of how mean I was to you. I'm sorry you had to put up with all that, nobody would have endured the same as you.

This is selfish because If I don't tell it to you my chest it's going to explode. Wish you the best, take care.

Note that this is translated from spanish, so maybe it doesn't make sense to you.

But as the other anon said, I will make it far more simple.

>>18512806

No threats or abuse, Jesus Christ. "Just" unwilling to give her the kind of love she wanted while she gave it to me.

>>18512809
That's better then. If you feel you need to do it. She'll either read it and move on or reply with a thanks. After that, you both go your own way. Simple.

>>18512745
>>18512782
Wow you really sound like my ex boyfriend.

He reached out and apologized to me years later and I really, really appreciated it. I'd forgiven him by then but it still meant a lot to me because it fucked with my self esteem, and even after all that time passed it affected how I saw myself. Now I don't have to think back and wonder what was so wrong with me that he treated me like that, so I guess it was closure in a way and now we're even friends again. I would apologize if I was you, as long as it's sincere I doubt it will cause her any harm.

>>18512857

Yeah, I know I fucked up her self esteem too. I never said to her that she was fat, ugly or dumb (because she is not), that's for sure, but I know that indirectly I harmed the concept she has of herself. And that haunts me to this day.

>>18512745
test

>>18512745
> wrote assinine things to ex
> didn't comprehend own assholery
> now comprehends
Dude, so does your ex. She knows you're an ass and a half. That's why you're her ex. Nothing you say will be news to her except that you think you deserve to feel better through apologizing a year and a half later when you finally understand what an ass you were. You don't deserve to feel better; you're an ass and stupid as fuck for taking this long to grow up enough to understand your own assness.

>>18512782
Being cold and mean to her is probably what landed you with a gf to begin with. Maybe you cracked and started to treat her better and that's what made her lose interest.

>>18512745
A simple, more formal letter along these lines: "I hope that hearing from me doesn't upset you. I've been thinking recently and realize what a bad boyfriend I was with you, and I want to apologize. I want nothing from you, not even a reply, but just need to let you know I've grown up and am sorry for the fool I was back then. I wish you nothing but happiness"

>>18512909

No, that's not what happened.

>>18512745
why do you want to contact another woman, especially your ex, while you're in a relationship?

do you really think this is respectful to your gf? She will get mad if she finds out.

>>18513058

To be honest, I just want to apologize to feel better. It is selfish, but that woman needs to know that I am aware that I was an asshole and I need her to know.

It's not sexual or romantic in any way. Plus I'm going to tell my gf.

>>18512745
Let it go. She has.

It's disrespectful to your current girlfriend to be thinking so much about an ex's feelings.

As the other anon said, write it, burn it and move on.

And don't be a douchebag with the current girlfriend.