What Do You Need to Do to Get Women You're Attracted To

>>18512198
>get richer
>smarter
>more attractive and fit
>more interesting and positive

/thread

>>18512198

you need to be the kind of guy that girl wants.

as a general rule it means you need to at leastb e as attractive as her. if you are attractive enough to get a girl that is your 'standard' then after that its just a matter of finding someone who is a match personality wise. you just weed through all the girls who are attractive neough til you find one with the right chemistry and compatibility.

but if you aren't attractive enough to get her it really just comes down to 1) alternative offers and 2) luck.

alternative offers being really rich, or being bale to offer her emotional support if she has severe mental issues, that sort of thing. you don't even have to be rich per se, but rather just able to support her without her working (which might as well be rich these days). but these relationships tend to be short and REALLY hard to initiate.

TL;DR be attractive enough to attract her, or be rich enough to compensate, or lucky enough to end up with damaged girls/.

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>>18512206
>>18512225
>get more not me

>>18512229

>get more 'not me'

well yeah. if girls were into 'you' then you wouldn't be asking how to get them. this hsouldn't be hard for you to understand. did you think we had some loophole that just turns really attractive girls in to slaves to neets?

>>18512229
Well my dude, if "you" is not enough to attract these cuties you dream about, you can either become a better you or chase girls who are on your level. There are literally no other options.

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>>18512206
>>18512225

That's depressing.

I can't really do much to change my face. People tell me I dress well, though. I always get compliments on my clothing and style.

Not in the best shape. I'm skinnyfat. I've been working out on-and-off for the past few years, but don't really "look like" I work out. I dunno, it's really hard to just "get fit," especially the diet part, since I'm a compulsive eater.

As for being interesting... I don't have a lot of social experience since I grew up with social anxiety, so I feel like I'm behind the curve. I don't travel. I don't have a lot of crazy stories to tell. People tell me I'm smart, and sometimes I wow them with knowledge and trivia about different topics, but I don't feel as though I myself am interesting.

What's the general gameplan to change all this? Seems like a Herculean task to just try to "become better." Especially because I struggle with depression and lack of motivation.

>>18512256
>it's really hard to just "get fit," especially the diet part, since I'm a compulsive eater

Then fucking fix it. I did. Went from 235 down to 179 as of today and been lifting 4 days a week now for a few months. And I was a depressed piece of shit who lost his gf of 5 years because of some circumstantial bullshit.

Stop making excuses.

>>18512256

>working out is hard

do it anyway. there isn't anything else we can offer unless you have the money to throw down on plastic surgery here, but even then you'll get a lot of women put off when they realize this.

>i dont have a lot of social experience

its never to late to 'catch up'. travel is stupid, i mean its fun, but thats not what makes or breaks a person. I've been all over the fucking world and its just a small topic once in awhile. There is nothing about being traveled its self that will attract people to you, and to be honest it doesn't matter how interesting you get, no really hot girl settles for a guy who is just 'interesting'. maybe once in a blue moon sure but thats what we referred to earlier as the 'luck' factor. its not somethign you can rely on, and anyone trying to make themselves more 'interesting' is just going to look even more shallow.

>crazy stories

help with conversation but again no relationship has ever been made on someones ability to tell some 'crazy stories'.

the truth is people go for people they can get as far as attractiveness goes, and then they just work their way through that 'level' of people until they find a match personality wise.

>whats the general gameplan to change all this

get your diet and exercise under control. compulsive eating isn't even that bad if you're trying to put on muscle, you'll put a little fat on too, but it wont slow down your muscle progress if you actualyl dedicate your self to working out. even an ugly man can seem attractive with enough muscle. really it can be almost endearing to have an ugly mug but a hot body, kinda like a dog so ugly it becomes cute. it also just compliments hard features associated with ugliness and all in all just gives you something to compensate over.

what's really depressing is your sense of entitlement. you believe that its not worth settling for less, but you act like its 'wrong' for people to want you to change to get something better.

>>18512304
I did get myself to the point where I was squatting 315 lbs. However, whenever the semester gets heavier, I don't have time to work out, and then I end up going months without going to the gym. This past academic year was really bad. I tend to get straight A's and make Dean's List every year, but this intensive honour's course combined with depression and anxiety made me have a breakdown and I wasn't able to be functional or hand shit in, much less have time for the gym.

Started going again just today, though.

I have started trying to make friends, and have a few now. Started meds for my social anxiety and depression lately, and that combined with my resolution to push myself to be social made me some pals here and there.

I dunno, I still feel as though I'm boring, and I have nothing to offer. I feel like just being a pleasant person isn't enough. The guys I see who have women drawn to them are these social butterflies who regale people with interesting experiences. I can barely order a drink at the bar because I haven't drank enough to know my drinks, not having had gone to many parties or been invited to many pubs in the past.

I've been really struggling with eating right. I go a few days of eating at a deficit, and then I can't control myself and just binge. I've been trying at it for years. It seem to go past the point where it's just "not trying," because I am trying, and I'm starting to wonder if there' something wrong with my appetite, or if I have a more addictive personality when it comes to food, or impulse control problems. I think I need help here.

Are there any good ways to fight the compulsion part? When I started my meds, a side-effect was bloating and reduced appetite, so I lost a lot of weight. Then the side-effects disappeared, and I gained it all back. If I could find a drug that does what the side-effects of my current drugs were, I think that would really help me meet my goals.

>>18512298
I'm 150 right now, but I have a belly and am skinny fat and want to be leaner.

How long is each gym session? I find I can spend hours at the gym, like, three-four hours a session, and taking that large a chunk out of my day is a bit of a deterrent. How do I cut down on that?

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>>18512397
>150
don't mean to make fun of you anon but I'm 400 and I feel perfectly fine
I would assume a gym session can last as long as you want, but over a hour would be best to get the most out of a workout
you probably shouldn't start out at doing 3 hours a day though, work your way up to it

>>18512388

>who have women dranw to them

you are not trying to get women drawn to you. you are just trying to not settle. there's a difference. but yeah, it all helps to be more social and have those little thingsb ut they arent going to make or break a relationship.
unfortunately theres no shortcuts here. if you really thinkg you NEED a woman of a certain level of attractiveness then you have to do what it takes to get her. you cant say you NEED her but expect her to just settle for you. considering you are by your own admission of lower quality than her, it makes no sense why she should have to settle when you refuse to.

>>18512198
There's 3 components to attracting women.

1. How you look
2. How wealthy you are
3. What your status is

The higher you are on these 3 ladders the hotter the woman you can pull

Generally to get with hot women you need to be pretty high up in at least 2 of these ladders. You can get away with only 1 but only if you're in the top 0.1% of that ladder (ex. you can be ugly and have no status in society but if you're super rich off daddy's money you can still get hot women)

For most guys the way to go is either combine 1 & 2 (get ripped and have a high paying job ex lawyer, doctor etc) or combine 1 & 3 (get ripped and have a high status occupation ex musician, artist, writer etc)

As you can see getting ripped is mandatory. If you're not in awesome shape (especially if you're not naturally good looking) then you have no chance at pulling the women you want.

>>18512397
I only go for an hour. I have my routine for the day written and the goals I need to hit. And then I do it and don't waste time unless I'm taking a minute break between sets. No fuckarounditis.

>>18512431
I see. I would like to have money just as much as anybody else would, but I wouldn't want to base my life around trying to get rich. I'd just like to have enough to be comfortable.

As for the "status" thing… I already like to play music, do photography, sketch, and would like to try my hand at writing. So, I guess if I get good at those, maybe that would help? I've been trying to form a band anyway, just for its own sake.

I guess it's good that some of these things already align with my interests. I wouldn't wan't to force myself to contrive my personality, goals, and interests around trying to attract women.

>>18512198
Women are motivated by hypergamey or partnering "up".
That means one or a combination of a number of things.
> looks
> social status
> power
> wealth
> stability
If you have none of the above to offer to the ones you want. Then you'll never get them you aren't higher than them.
So you'll resort to a lower level woman who feels that one of the above is a higher status for her..

Hit 10% bodyfat.

Look OP. If you wanted a good looking woman, that's one thing. But chances are that you want a woman who is good looking, fit, healthy, your age or younger, sweet and nurturing, intelligent, mentally stable, and someone who has compatible interests with you, also wants or does not want kids, has similar ideas about the future and so on.

Chances of landing a woman like that are slim especially if you are in many regards an average dude. When people say to lower standards they don't mean "just get with a woman you can't stand to look at". They mean "just get with a woman you are attracted to but isn't hot, and you will quickly find out how much more important other factors are for the enjoyment of the relationship".

Real, raw attraction and sex appeal has very little to do with perfect this or that. Ask a guy dating the world's beautiful model what he likes best about her and he won't say her immaculate thigh gap or gravity-defying tits, but her smile or the birth mark only he knows to locate or her smell. That's stuff that you can see in everyone if you like them enough.

>>18512256
Same here

>>18512198
OP, from what I've read you're not that attractive, not mentally stable, and don't have much to offer to a woman in general.
Get a little real - why would a woman who is very attractive and has her life together go for a man who isn't attractive and struggles, when she can get someone better?

Don't pull the "love you for you" bullshit when you're not willing to love a woman for who she is, either.

Either work on yourself and get better or be a little more realistic about your standards.

>>18513187
Then focus on your music and getting ripped


Guitar + ripped body = guaranteed hotties

Then you can take them for naked photoshoots and sketches. Girls are narcissistic as fuck they eat that shit up instantly.

>>18512198

You can't make people like you. Either they do, or they don't. Just because you like then doesn't mean they have to like you back. You can't make them do it.

All you can do is keep meeting people until you like someone that likes you back.

>>18513276
Also a key thing to remember when you're in the process of improving yourself like this is to reframe everything from "doing it go get hot women" to "doing it to improve yourself"

The end product is still that you get to fuck hot women but reframing it like this makes an important distinction. The goal is to improve yourself to a degree that hot women desire you more than you desire them. It's a subtle difference but an important one and one of the key takeaways is to never ever sacrifice these goals for a woman.

>>18512397

Cut your calories. That's legit the real way to lose weight. Exercising helps but I've seen people lose 50+ pounds over the course of a year by doing nothing but going on diets mainly giving up bread and/or meat. It is better to get more muscular but if you feel like only your weight is in the way and not your clothes or hair etc then that's what you need to do.

>>18513276
Guitar doesn't get you that much pussy anymore. This is coming from someone who's moderately fit and plays guitar seriously.