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How to deal with an irrational mother?
Unfortunately because of my job situation, I'm living under my parents roof.
In the meantime I do freelancing until another good job comes my way. All morning, I'm in my pjs because I had been busy writing emails and communicating with clients. So my mom comes up the stairs and asks if she should cook eggs and bacon. I say ok.
Unfortunately my bedroom is hot as shit, and I'm wearing long warm pjs (because it gets cold at night). So after I send a final email, I'm about to change into a tank and shorts when my mom calls out that the food is ready.
I say just give me a minute and age starts with this shit "come and get it now or I'm eating it". I tell her to just give me a minute so I can throw some clothes on. She says why can't I just eat first and then change since the food is now ready.
I tell her I'm hot as shit and I'm just about to change and she starts yelling at me that the food is hot. I then start yelling at her to just give me 30 seconds to get changed, the food wont get cold. Then she starts yelling at me that I'm crazy for yelling and that I should see a therapist because I have some issues.
I come in dressed, and just try to recap what went down, and instead she just starts yelling and doing the whole "I don't want to hear what you have to say" bullshit. Now a miscommunication and misunderstanding issue has escalated into a argument of not hearing what I have to say, and everytime I try to explain myself, she keeps cutting off and telling me to shut my mouth. She also threatens to throw away my food if I don't shut up, etc. and starts yelling at me that I'm trying to fight to get the last word. Now I'm just trying to get my word in to explain how stupid this whole thing is and how it should've never escalated to begin with.
Besides just moving out, which I can't because I'm not making enough to live on my own, even if I had 3 roommates, how the fuck do I deal with situations like this?
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Tl;Dr. Instead of just trying to resolve and say what I wanted to say, mom talks over and cuts me off not hearing what I have to say because she assumes I'm saying something else, which then just escalates into her ranting off on me to stay quiet, that I'm rude and always trying to get the last word.
I'm not trying to get the last word, I'm just trying to get a word in at all without her cutting me off.
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>>18510282
Hey anon similar shit happening with me.
I cant even give you an example of a time she was rational. She is too emotional and always thinks emotionally rather than rationally. Is your mother alone like mine? Cuz that adds to her temper.
But its been years now me dealing with this shit so i observed her.
>I realised she knows she is dumb as fuck but for some reason acts like she knows everything.
>She believes she has suffered so much that she is the only person with problems never cares about others problems.
>She is so stubborn.. Will NEVER admit she is wrong even tho i can tell at that moment she has realised her fault.
>She believes she is so special that god sends her weird messages in her dreams.
Once I have observed these and many other traits i realised (keeping in mind that she is a grown adult 48 years old) I can not change her. So all I can do is just say yes to everything she says :) works like a charm
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>>18510314
My mom's not alone, but she's fought with my dad for as long as I can remember. They fight and argue about something every day.
To be fair, my dad has issues of his own, like refusing to wear his hearing aid but blasts the tv at volume 40 all day and night. And he's super forgetful, doesnt pay attention, and has bad table manners.
My mom is super insecure, and of course, if you fight with her, she'll attack you with your own issues. Like when she fights with me, she says "if you didn't act like this, maybe you'd have a better chance finding a job" Or imitate you if you start crying.
There are sometimes I think shes bipolar, because when we do get along, shes supportive and the most generous person I know. She gives a lot of money and clothes and gifts to my sisters and her grandkids when they need it. It's so weird.
Just if you try to converse with her and if she doesn't like what you have to say, she'll constantly talk over you to shut up, and as you stay quiet, she starts ranting on you. And if you try to speak up just to try to reconcile, she shuts you down again and says you're fighting to get the last word, or have to prove you're right.
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>>18510282
Do your morning's work with your clothes on. Don't say you want breakfast until you're ready for it. When your mother calls, drop everything and go.
It's her house, so you play by her rules.
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>>18510393
You can play by her rules, but not playing by them is not an excuse to lash out at someone, belittle them and not let them even communicate
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>>18510393
>when your mother calls, drop everything and go
Not when you're in the middle of a taking a shit. Which has happened.
>be in the bathroom upstairs
>parents come in through garage with heavy groceries downstairs and call for me
>can't get up because in the middle of a bowel movement
>when finally finished, mom gets mad at screams at me why I didn't come down the stairs fast enough
>tell her I was in the bathroom and shes still mad
Oh well
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