MY LIFE AS AN ADULT FAILURE

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>As time goes on, they sell the paper I work for
>New company eliminates a bunch of positions
>Try to stay positive because I still had a job
>Bosses stay in shitty moods because of the pressure from corporate
>Coworkers all bitter because only one of them actually had an interest in being a journalist (The rest had degrees that ranged from theater to business)
>Start to dread coming to work
>Meanwhile, my grandfather develops leukemia
>I'm scared to death because the man is my favorite person in the world
>Grandfather's health takes a steep nosedive
>He moves in with my parents
>I spent every single day I could with him
>He dies in hospice care
>I'm fucking devastated and feel alone
>Find out my dipshit sister is pregnant with a felon's baby (He had numerous convictions and was being hunted by out-of-state police)
>Parents sad about grandfather's death, but excited for baby, even if the father is a useless mongoloid
>Parents renovate my grandfather's home and give it to my sister
>She pays no bills
>She gets government assistance, so she eats like a fucking aristocrat
>I've fallen into a deep depression

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>Find out the comic book store/hobby shop that I frequent is being sold
>Remember one of my last conversations with grandfather about how I want to own my own business some day
>Contact owner of shop
>He tells me to make him an offer
>I scrounge for every dime I can
>Go through shitloads of lenders and piles of "hard credit inquiries" which caused my credit score to lower substantially
>Finally come up with a sizable, all-but-guaranteed, amount to buy the shop
>Owner tells me he has changed his mind and he's going to sell it to someone else for $2,000 more than I had
>Get depressed because everything is going to shit
>Start to miss work
>Can't pay bills
>Start to put things on credit cards just to make-ends-meet
>Before long, credit cards are maxed out
>Bills starting to run late
>Newspaper is even worse than before because my favorite boss retires
>Coworkers have started to yell at me for "my failing performance"
>Tell them I am sorry and I am just going through a lot
>They tell me to get over it
>Load gun, put on favorite suit and sit in parking lot of apartment complex
>Decide to kill myself in parking lot because my landlord wouldn't have to clean me out of the carpet
>Cry for an hour and put gun to head
>Can't bring self to pull trigger
>Go back inside and cry myself to sleep

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>Next day, former classmate tells me the radio station he works for is hiring someone to lead news team
>Seems cool
>Apply and get the job
>Turns out that I was the only person they had hired because they wanted to form a team "eventually"
>Shit breaks all the time
>Get yelled at because I'm not gathering every story in the area, despite working overtime and not getting paid for it (I was salary)
>Health declines and start to develop sleep disorders
>Stay depressed
>Start thinking about suicide again
>Tell parents about how awful life is
>lolcan'trelate.jpg
>My sister is living the high life and doesn't have to work
>All income goes to buying luxury items
>One day, radio boss comes in and tells me I need to stop leaving the office to get news and should just get it over the phone from now on
>Feel hopeless
>Panic attack ensues
>Write up resignation letter and quit that same day

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>No income
>Shitloads of past-due bills
>Car falling apart
>Finally get food stamps from government
>Can't pay bills
>Collectors calling every day
>Checking job boards and sites every goddamned day, multiple times a day
>Submit resume and cover letter to out-of-state newspaper
>Editor says he's unimpressed and that the world doesn't need journalists like me
>Finally get job at local call-complaint center
>Employers keep losing my paperwork and fucking up things to the point that, even though I was hired in mid-June, the earliest they can start me is August
>They give me a tube of lip balm and a glasses-cleaning-cloth to apologize
>Still can't pay bills
>Can't afford to declare bankruptcy
>All while the new owner of the hobby shop is running it into the ground, so I may not even have a place to take my mind off of things
>My friends only say "that sucks" when I try and tell them about how awful things are
>No advice
>No comfort
>No support
>Parents say I just need to stay positive and things will be fine
>Easy to say when one of you makes double what I did at my highest-point of earnings
I don't know what the fuck to do except lay down in a cave and die.

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Bump for OP

>>18507823
>Editor says he's unimpressed and that the world doesn't need journalists like me
Bullshit, no one cares enough to be that much of a dick to some random job hunter.

>>18507823
>I don't know what the fuck to do except lay down in a cave and die.
You're too much of a pussy for that unfortunately.

A journalist???? Why don't you just masturbate all day instead?

Hey anon,
I feel your frustration and pain.
Don't listen to these arseholes putting the boot in.
I've been in similar circumstances, and as recently as the start of this year I was living on rice (for nearly 3 months) just to survive.
You sound like a smart guy who cares and has a lot to give.
Keep the faith bro, the wheel turns, shit will get better! Don't take a permanent solution to a transient/temporary problem.
Fuck the doubters; believe in yourself and take it one day at a time.
Godspeed anon

wow that sux man, have you considered sales? all you in is strong communication and the sky is your limit

The only tip I've got for you OP is work on resume. It sounds like you've got a lot of good experience under your belt and that you were passionate about what you did, so I literally cannot imagine that your resume should be garbage.

I've recently been doing some job hunting myself, and I'm applying to be a teacher. I picked up a book on writing resumes because I knew that I was a far shot from being a professional in resume writing. That book was actually really helpful.

If your job history on your resume is just a list of your duties and responsibilities, you've certainly fucked up, big style.
As for wanting to blow your brains out, yeah, I don't got much advice for that. Getting yourself out of your slump and being able to support yourself would probably be the biggest improvement you could make

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>>18507802
>>18507811
>>18507813
>>18507817
>>18507823
There's always time to hurt those who hurt you.