What Do Normal Adults do for Birthdays?

>>18507026

I want you to stop thinking for a whole moment. stop thinking about the downfalls and the pitfalls and the what ifs, and the 'thats not cools' and anything rmeotely negative.

instead of thinking in consequence think right now, what would you like to do? do you want dinner?? do you want a house party? do you want a pub? or do you want lasertag?

>>18507026
I'm 29 and most of my birthdays consist of going to get dinner with some friends and then hanging out at home drinking. You're still young so partying it up is viable and I suggest you do so. Throw parties, go out to bars, etc.

That being said, a good friend wouldn't mind hosting a party at their house. I wouldn't mind it if a friend asked me if I could host it at my house especially if I knew most of the attendees. Have activities planned that everyone can play (drinking games are great for this) or just accept that your party is more of a kickback and less of a "party".

Big public park at night with drinks and cigs (Very recommended) or something of the sort
A club
Pub tour

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>>18507026
We do whatever we want. We're adults!

Just to chip in, a lot of anons suggest bars and clubs but you don't HAVE to go clubbing like white girls. If you're actually getting 20 people, that's more than enough to have a killer backdoor party that can be either chill or a rager depending on who brings what (alcohol, weed, games, bonfire, etc)

>>18507028
Hmm... I think house party sounds best to me, because I want people to mingle. That doesn't happen much when everybody is sitting at a table.

>>18507031
I have a friend who has a nice basement that he often hosts parties in (his mother is gone often, as opposed to mine, who is always home when she isn't at work).

Thing is, he probably wouldn't know most of the attendees. Instead of having a "friend group," I've sort of made one-on-one friendships with a bunch of different people in different places. Which is why I think it'd be cool to introduce them to each other and see if any end up forming new friendships.

>>18507032
Hmm... yeah, I totally forgot that it could also be something outdoors, like a field party...I'd have to think of places that are nicely tucked away, so that we could still have drinks and smoke and shit without cops breaking it up. This may end up being the best option, because I don't have to mooch off of anybody for their house. Only thing is, where do you set down drinks and snacks at a field party? Do you have to bring a picnic table or something?

>>18507034
Sometimes I forget that. I still feel like a kid. Maybe because I live with my parents, don't drive, and didn't go out much, not having a lot of friends.

>>18507062
You can bring a picnic table or some sheets.
Here public parks just have tables already, so we just bring the booze and food.
tl;dr - bring a table or two, and perhaps a few chairs or sheets to sit on (unless there is enough grass to sit on).

Also, what's the best way to coordinate something like this? I haven't got Facebook (I deactivated it a while ago because being a loner and seeing how everybody had fulfilling lives just depressed me; plus, when I made an effort to meet knew people, especially when it came to asking girls out, I knew a lot of them would check me out on Facebook, and since I don't have a lot of 'social proof' up there, people would be turned off; I thought it better to just get to know me personally, without being biased by an online image). I don't do a lot of social media (don't know Kik from What'sApp from Snapchat from Instagram), I just SMS text people.

Would it be difficult to coordinate just texting everybody the plan?

>>18507041
Yeah, clubbing isn't my scene at all. Not really into dancing and getting turnt and grinding against random chicks and trying to take them home. Don't really like the sort of music they play at clubs. My scene is more stuff like local shows, live rock bands playing in sweaty pubs.

>>18507075
Use a personal friend to co-ordinate it on social media & SMS the rest of the people the friend can't come in contact with.

>>18507062

>i think house party

then stop worrying about your parents. ask if oyu can throw a party and if they dont mind leaving the house for the night. OR go to your closest friend with his own place and ask if you can host there if you promise to clean up afterward. if he says no, go to the next friend. if anyone gets unreasonably upset by the request, they arent a good friend. a good friend would just say 'nah i dont feel comfortable with that' as opposed to making a big deal out of it.

>>18507075

not really if you have their numbers just copy paste the text to 20 people.

>>18507092
Asking my parents... I dunno, not really an option. Hard to explain, because my relationship with my parents is kinda weird. I don't even know how to word it, but it's a bit tangential to the topic, I guess.

As for asking a friend... yeah, I see your point. No harm in asking. They can say no if they want. They're not going to hate me just for asking.

I'm just always worried about putting people in a position where they feel like they have to say "yes" out of obligation to be nice.

>>18507133

you said they'd be happy that you were doing it, so you're giving us mixed signals.

>they're not going to hate me just for asking

definitely not, anyone who does was looking for a reason to hate you and isn't worth your time.

>im just always worried about putting people in a position where they have to say 'yes' out of obligation to be nice

stop that. i understand not wanting to corner people but if they are only saying yes because its 'nice' then that is their own issue to tackle, not yours. you are not a burden to the world, it is not oyur duty to protect society from you wanting to have a party.

worst case scenario though invite everyone to lasertag. its a blast, and afterwards someone inevitably says 'you guys wanna go back to my place?'

>>18507146
>you said they'd be happy that you were doing it, so you're giving us mixed signals.

Well, that's why I said it would be hard to explain...

I'm not really comfortable being myself around my parents. Our interactions are always kinda awkward. With my dad, it's because he's an abusive alcoholic narcissist, and I was raised not to ever talk back or defend myself, so I have this psychological thing where I can't really assert myself around him and am always walking on eggshells around him and, despite being an adult, I'm psychologically fucked up so I still regard him the way a child would.

My mother isn't abusive and angry like he is, so I do have affection for her and like her. But I still feel somewhat awkward around her, like I'm always filtering myself. I don't know how to express what I mean here. Like, I don't have a normal relationship most children have with their parents where you can just kind of talk to them like a normal person. And the way she talks to me is a bit babying.

If I were to ask to have a party, she would be happy, but insist on being part of it. I dunno, baking cookies and awkwardly hanging around my friends and I wouldn't be able to just be myself. If I asked her to leave for the night, she would be like "why don't you want me there?" Plus, she doesn't really have anything outside of work and the home, so it's not like she would stay the night at a friend's house or anything.

>>18507194

nah i get it, my family is a trainwreck i just had to cut them out earlier this week. still if theyd get excited about you having a party just ask if they'd be willing to leave the house for a night. it sounds like they arent going to throw a fit and kick you out so worst case scenario you get a pretentious lecture from your dad.

but a friends works too.

but if they absolutely wouldnt leave thats understandable go to friends.