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My (LDR) boyfriend and I very recently celebrated one year. He has always told me that I am the reason he started to believe in real love, because he never once felt numb or lost interest in me. I have severe depression, and that causes me to go into very destructive states. The past two weeks I have been losing my mind over insecurities (him not loving me, him falling in love with another girl, not being enough for him, etc.), and he has been spending a lot of time away from me. Then, he started hanging out with people that I do not know, one of which is a girl that he seemed to find very cool and interesting. This did not help my insecurities at all, and I went into an episode which included me calling him a liar and cheater, as well as saying that I was worthless, and deserved to be hurt, and even saying that I wanted to die. Obviously I don't mean any of this, and when I finally calm down I apologize fervently, and promise to control myself next time. Flash forward to today, he went home and when he got off work we got on skype. I mention that I want some attention, and he says he just wants to chill and he's tired from work. I leave it alone for a minute, but eventually voice that I'm upset that he is not wanting to pay attention to me. He then tells me that I am beautiful, smart, successful, etc. BUT he thinks we need to go on a break. He needs time to consider whether he should continue this relationship or not. That brings me to my question, should I be scared of the outcome of this break?
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No.Things happen if they are supposed to happen.Try thinking more about yourself too. I've had the same problem some time ago with my girlfriend and i came to a conclusion: "Now i need myself more than never."
It's painfull to feel alone,but now it's time to react!Many things seem impossible but they aren't.
Breaking up or not,YOU ARE STRONG.
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Yeah probably, you fucked up and can't handle your emotions well. Go see a therapist.
Give him some time and show him you're helping yourself. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't want to be.
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Your mood swings into irrationality and aggression sounds like more than depression. You should talk to a professional about it because you'll just drive your bf away.
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>obviously I didn't mean any of this
That's not obvious at all.
I'm going to lay out the progression of events you've told to us from his perspective for you:
>have gf, love her very much
>loyal, kind and considerate to her
>she needs a lot of attention, I give it
>feel like I'm decaying in other aspects of my life due to vast amount of effort and attention I give her
>start hanging out with some new friends I made
>she freaks the fuck out, says things that cause me to believe she doesn't notice or appreciate anything I do for her
>makes me feel overlooked and unvalued
>she apologizes and brushes it off saying she obviously didn't mean it, even though the things she said stuck with me and I took them to heart
>almost immediately she begs for more attention for me, after I have given her nothing but
>all I want is to have a little bit of my own life and individuality
>cannot take this emotional rollercoaster and ask for a break
>torn between wanting the woman I love and needing to feel appreciated
You fucked up bad OP. You clung to his neck with nails like thorns, now you know it hurts people and they will recoil. You should have given him his space, you snapped the last twig when you demanded even more attention, he felt like you would never be satisfied. I'm honestly not trying to dismissively diss you, but you sound like an honest to god chore of a woman to date and I fail to understand how you couldn't appreciate this man.
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>LDR
Have you met in real life?
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