How to control anxiety in a relationship?

Pls someone respond

Do tell her about your anxieties. Tell her how you will react in case of a panic attack or breakdown so she can be there and help you.

There is no way around this. You either trust her to catch you when you are most vulnerable or you can forget the whole thing. You won't be able to hide it forever anyway.

On the plus side, it's only human and it might also appeal to her maternal instincts. And trusting her with this might actually help you too.

>>18504257
ironically thats a trait that probably worsens your issue: no patience

was monitoring this for a while so may as well respond now. in my opinion you need to talk to her. by talk to her i dont mean sit her down and tell her there is some kind of problem, you need to occasionally pick topics that touch the issue, i dont know "sometimes i overthink crap, like is the red shirt going to make my boss dislike me, it's silly really!". whatever the fuck would be honest in your case. make her get familiar with the mindset. you will probably begin to feel does she "get" you, you can draw your conclusions from there.

well basically being confident about a "plan", a way of actively affecting your surroundings is already head on fighting anxiety. in my opinion, personally i only gently touched on anxiety. oh yea also don't overuse that word, your personality isn't black and white, some aspects of you and your surroundings may bother you a certain degree, others not so much, a different amount. try to get that word out of your head and specifically target things that you arent cool with, and come up with that plan.

there you have a whatever-response, not a great and well thought-through one, because you forced me

>>18504303
Yeah, that's been an issue for me in the last few relationships. My biggest issue is just my anxiety tendencies. Its like she tells me she likes me and not to worry. Today she just fell asleep early and told me in the morning that she fell asleep. I don't show my anxious tendencies to her and try to play as good as possible which I know she likes because she said to me that I am not pushy or trying to control her, but it's just me trying to control my anxiety. Around her she says I give her peace and that she's never felt this way before. It's like when I'm around her it's the same way. But even though I've controlled this problem for a while now, I still occasionally break into bad habits. If you want to talk about it btw, I've calmed down and am patient again, so if there is a detailed response I can wait.

Also, I've talked to her about how I over think things and she said she does the same thing. She thought that I was so chill and she understood completely. I guess we both overthink sometimes and it may get out of hand

>>18504344
basically i need to repeat myself here, you need to let it sink in slowly, not repeatedly, occasionally, in different ways, you need to "feel" does she understand you. thats how i would do it at least, and try to not see your expectations become reality just because you want it to be. don't lie to yourself if she appears to not like those tendencies. deal with it, locate is it fixable or not. of course easier said than done with feelings involved but there is no "better" way.

>>18504344
That sounds fair enough. I've been kind of doing that mostly with her. I've earned her trust considerably due to some things she told me which I find not suitable to tell here due to her trusting me a lot. Its been slow for me, I've been letting it out a little bit like you said. I told her how my last relationship fucked me up to trust but she told me about the same thing and that she was glad she could talk about it. I've been letting it out slowly but not even realizing it. Plus, she told me if there was a problem, she would talk it through and that she wouldn't leave me like the others did. And she's stayed good on her promise. She has told me if there are problems and I have been able to fix them early. So maybe I just blew it out of proportion.

So far, we have been able to work around our missteps in the past. I think I just have to not think that I have to be perfect every time and that some days she will just be tired and not respond. I gotta think more rationally

don't forget to keep the pace slow, you may feel shits great and spit it all out. you need to be in control of whats going on. idk you seem fine, do you just want confirmation?

>>18504449
I think that's exactly what I want. But it's like she gives it to me all the time. Every morning she texts me how great of a bf I am. We hang out and she says she's never felt better, and she loves how I paced in our relationship so far. She actually talked to me the other day and said she was worried that she wasn't doing enough, even though I know she does. I think it just comes down to my past, it's like every time I think I have it down and it's nice and peachy, something fucks me up. But I guess I shouldn't compare past relationships to current ones.

>>18504481
idk dude, i got shitty past too with insecurities, inability to take action in life, inability to connect to people, understand people, whatever crazy mixture i can recall right now. not even too long ago, basically your age or slightly younger., but now you see me write cocky posts and act all confident and talk about how to just plan it and stick with it. you are a capable - and most importantly an aware - human being, you'll be just fine figuring it out, you already know yourself.

>>18504497
I think my insecurities come from my past, it's like as a kid I was pushed to be perfect by my parents but could never match up. Now as an adult I finally told them how much they fucked me up and they just said they were trying to push me. I think I just have to think that not everyone is like my parents and that I don't need to be perfect. This was the same path I went down I'm my last relationship and when I broke up with her she thought everything was going fine. I guess I just have to let the past go and know that I am capable of holding a long term relationship.

Also, thanks I think I might just leave my past behind now. No reason to stay there.

>>18504523
>I guess I just have to let the past go and know that I am capable of holding a long term relationship.

plan and be honest to YOURSELF. take care.

>>18504539
Thanks lad for the reminder. I definitely need to remember that.