Abusive relationship

I should also add that she has told me to kill myself before, and once when I tried, she guilt tripped me in the hospital, then went on to take me home and baby me for a few days before everything returned to normal. I'll give more information if it's needed.

>>18503862

Leave. She's emotionally manipulating you first by verbally abusing you and then by saying she wants to die when you try to leave. It will only escalate with time, so you need to ditch her while you can.

Yeah, no more info needed. Leave and never look back. When you get at the point that one partner has to threaten with suicide to keep the other one in the relationship you know it's dead and buried.

Fixing the relationship would mean rewiring your girlfriends whole mentality (and a lot of yours too). That's nearly impossible. If it is possible you're not the guy who can do it. Even if you were the guy who could do it it would take too long and it wouldn't be worth it. The only thing this relationship is achieving is wasting your time, causing you sorrow, dragging you deeper into this rotten mentality and making it even harder for you to end it.

Leave now. Stop letting yourself be manipulated.

>>18503862
Hey OP I'm sorry for your situation but I'm not qualified for advice because I need help to stop verbally and emotionally abusing my gf. This is a terrible feel guys

It's hard for me to leave because I feel like anything bad that happens to her after will be my fault, and she knows it. I attempted suicide about a year ago, and after she cried and told me she wanted to make sure I was okay she told me it wasn't going to fix anything and that it was a dumb choice to make. I've left the apartment we have together a few times to get away and go to a family members house, but she has told me she would come and get me from there saying if I didn't come home " she didn't know what would happen" it's also hard for me because she is my longest relationship, and she has helped me with a few things greatly. But it's so to the point I feel like if I leave shell stalk my life still, she still goes as far to dog on me about past relationships and she tells me I'm out fucking someone I did shit with way before we got together, she tried telling me I couldn't go to there dad's calling hours.. I guess I don't have the mental power to actually leave though, as much as I know what she is doing isn't right. I can't get myself to leave her. Because in some fucked up way, I love her. And it's literally killing me

>>18503903
It's okay, I hope you can take the right steps to helping yourself. That's one thing she won't do. So I guess if it helps your already doing better then her, you'll get there anon.

>>18503903
I love her so much I hurts. I do I do I do. I understand I legitimately don't deserve her anymore and it's disgusting how lucky I am at this point, STILL getting second chances. Is there hope for us

>>18503914
I give my girlfriend a lot of second chances. But I guess it all comes down to of you want to get better of if you just tell her you want to get better so she'll stay, my girlfriend tells me I need mental help but won't go and try to get it for herself.. I guess that's why it sucks though because I know she has the ability to get help and fix this problem but she won't.

>>18503862
why do you bother with her, I know a girl who I don't even wanna be in contact with because of her depression, I can't even imagine being with her, idk why my friends puts up with her and what you're going through sounds like 10 times worse.

>>18503936
I guess it's a part of me that wants to fix things that makes me stay? Because to tell you the truth I hate this fucking shit hole of a " relationship " she guilt trips me into having sex she doesn't let me have friends or do what I want she doesn't like my family so that means I can't either it's a fucking living hell. But I can't get myself to leave her and I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'll feel like of she does do something it'll be my fault, or what. But something in me can't let go and it sucks ass.

>>18503862
If this is not a one off thing (i.e. she is going through a rough patch) then give her an ultimatum. Get help or you walk. If she refuses then walk.

>>18503944
>she guilt trips me into having sex she doesn't let me have friends or do what I want she doesn't like my family so that means I can't either

This is not just verbal abuse at this point, it's just straight up domestic abuse in various flavours. She's alianating you from other people in your life, so that you're easier for her to control, while emotionally and psychologically undermining yourself worth. These are classic domestic abuser tactics to make it harder for you to leave her, despite her behaviour. Just because she's not physically beating you up (yet), doesn't mean what she's doing couldn't be causing your long-term harm psychologically or emotionally. You need to protect yourself and leave.

>>18503983
Not going to lie it feels so nice to finally have someone side with me on this situation because everyone I try to talk to that knows either of us ( more so her ) tells me that IM the abusive one in this situation, because I don't like her talking to a girl that wants to fuck her, " I don't let her have friends " because I don't like fucking whores that know she's taken hitting on her, even after she tells them to stop. But I guess it's my fault for not being more forceful and going through her stuff that should be private like she does mine, she brings up a past one night stand from almost four years ago, but God forbid I don't appreciate her sending pictures of her with no shirt ( no boobs showing, but still ) to a girl that wanted to date her before we got together. Like I honestly feel like I'm making shit up half the time because she has everyone else brain washed to think it's all on me. Then she uses my mental disorders to further make me question if it's me or my head making things up. I can honestly say I've never been in a more fucked up situation

I want to leave but the only thing stoping me is the idea of her killing herself souly because of me, or her being homeless because she's burnt every other bridge she has. The white knight in me wants to save her even though I know I can't.

>>18503907
Fuck off with that pansy shit mate. The only reason you "don't have the power to leave" is because you tell that to yourself. There's no mystical force stopping you from leaving. It's nothing but a decision, a decision you can take. And you did take it, you decided not to leave, but you're telling yourself it's not a choice that it's impossible for you to leave.

You can change that decision any time you want. At any point. You're telling yourself that you CAN'T leave because you know that leaving would be the better choice. Yet, because of your feelings you don't want to leave and so cognitive dissonance is created. To resolve it you just lie to yourself and tell yourself that you can't leave, that you're too weak, that you don't have the mental power or whatever dumb shit you can come up with. Are you listening to yourself? How do you not realize how ridiculous that sounds? Seriously, try to take a step outside your head and look at this situation from an objective point. You're just lying to yourself.

You acknowledge that leaving is the best course of action. You came here asking a question you already knew the answer to. But you refuse to put it into practice and would rather pretend you're powerless and cry about how bad you have it. Like you have no godamn free will.

I see this shit every single time I lurk here. People ask question they already know the answer to, but they won't actually follow it. They won't put it into practice despite the fact that it's obvious to every sane person in the world that it's the best solution to their problem by a landslide. Why? Because of their feelings. Because they're so scared of making themselves feel shitty for a few hours/days/weeks/months that they would rather feel shitty for the rest of their lives through passivity.

>>18503862

if she kills her self after saying such rude things to you, its her own fault.

you gotta realize shes literally manipulating you. she could just say 'well ill just have to stay with my friends or my family, or actually figure out my fucking life, but instead im going to insist that ill kill my self so that you will never make me leave but i can keep being shitty'.

and if she does actually do it? great, thats her problem not yours.

my mom threatens to kill herself six times a year.

>>18504015
Your totally right and trust me I have been trying it's just hard as fuck when you live with someone 24/7 that puts you down for fucking breathing. So I guess just having someone that doesn't want to sugar coat it makes me feel a little better, in whatever way you want to take that.

>>18504018
Thanks anon. It's just so fucking aggravating when I try and try and try and tell her it's okay we'll get better you know whatever but she insist that she can't be happy and then it's almost like a fucking spite thing like " okay I'll fucking show you I can make you happy. " But it's gotten to the point I know that no matter what she won't listen, i really appreciate y'all talking to me though, because I don't have anyone anymore because this crazy bitch..

>>18503862
Op here. I just want to say thanks to everyone for giving me your two cents. I know it's a pretty point blank topic but it's always bitter sweet to hear someone you don't know at all tell you that you aren't crazy and you just need to leave. I appreciate y'all not being dicks. Plus it was nice to vent a bit.

>>18504035

cut her out fast. if you need to run for the fucking hills do it. it might take a few months of suffering or paying extra to make sure everything ends up right, but get the fuck out of there by any means necessary.

i just had to cut out my own mother because of similar shit. they arent worth it. love isn't worth it.

take care of your self. i mean what else are you going to do, just take care of this abusive bitch for the rest of your life?

go out and enjoy your self.

>>18504041
Ive tried and tried and done everything I can but I can't even wear a tank top without her grilling my shit because " people are weird you know "
>Tells me to respect myself of she can't be with me
>Sends lewd pictures to a former interest.
I've done all I can so I hate to do it but I'm giving up, I figure fuck it I'll let her hate me.. least I can go to the fucking bar with my best friend without getting railed for wearing a fucking dress.

>>18504049

>lesbians

this explains everything. yeah, get out of there.

>>18504040
Your situation sounds really fucked. Two wrongs don't make a right. You need to leave. Go live with your parents or other relatives if necessary. Get out of there. You cannot recover from this fully. That scab will always be peeled off somehow. She will always resent you in some way, and you will never fully trust her because you know each other too well. Time to go man.

Sounds like you've done your wrongs. Just learn from your mistakes, and make sure you're ready before you get into another relationship. You need to heal from this. Wish you the best man. The ball is in your court now.

>>18504059
Aye fuck off

>>18504062
Thanks anon, we've both made mistakes, but she crossed the line when she told me to kill myself the first time, but again I appreciate the advice. Here's to hoping one day karma gets her sweet revenge for what she's done to me.

>>18504070

>aye fuck off

you can't argue against a stereotype while playing it out. want me to fuck off? want to prove the stereotype wrong? break up wtih her.

>>18504076
Don't wish anything but love and happiness for your enemies, anon, as long as you can overcome their transgressions (which in this case I believe you can). It will only make you bitter. This is the only way to bring yourself peace. Wish and pray with all of your heart that she gets the help she needs (AFTER YOU ARE SAFE AND AWAY FROM HER) and you will be the bigger person. This is the only way to mitigate depression and envy in a situation like this. Wish her well, but move the fuck on first.

I say this all in the kindest tone. Picture me saying this with my hands on your shoulders.

>>18504098
>hands on your shoulders

Face to face that is. We aint in prison.

>>18504098
No I totally understand where you are coming from anon, and I do wish her the best, even though I know I shouldn't. I guess part of it to is that when I lost my job she was super supportive, like she was ready to take on the role of " caring partner " then suddenly it went right back to the way it was. I was ready to start my life with her and I guess I wasn't enough, but in a way it's just a life lesson that I have to learn, and I thank her because in a way she helped me learn a lot about myself, I just hope she gets what she deserves for the things she's done. While I wish her well I do know she needs to understand fully what she's done to me.