GIOYC

>>18503644
My ex told me I'm a bad person.

I don't know if I am. I did some fucked up things. I basically harassed her because she didn't want to talk to me, made new accounts spammed messages. I feel bad for doing it.

I always tried to do the right thing. Maybe my words did come off as manipulative but that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to be honest about my feelings but I guess it came off as me trying to guilt trip.

I always felt I was a complicated person. A misunderstood person that comes off as cold but has a heart of gold. You know that old trope of a character.

But maybe I'm just insane and an asshole.

>>18503649
I can relate except for the new accounts and spamming part.

>>18503700
Yeah, I'm not proud of what I did. I was trying to reach out because I didn't like the way we left things. I was trying to get closure but I guess I shoulda just left it how it was.

>>18503649
You are not. If someone doesn't like something about you that doesn't make them right or a bad person. We all have things to improve.

I know you've been reading all these
How can you behave this way? You're absolutely wrong for what you did and you've been behaving like the one who was wronged
You're shattering every beautiful thought I have of you. Even after everything I wish you happiness but I'm not so sure now.

>>18503815
Initials?

I still no idea as to how to approach you sometimes. I want to hug you before I leave, it would just be really comforting and fulfilling. Sometimes I fear you hate me and are keeping up some facade of friendship for the sake of the family. Sometimes I just want to cry and hug you and wait for whatever shitstorm is currently passing to end, but I can't lmao squaw

>>18503815
>How can you behave this way? You're absolutely wrong for what you did and you've been behaving like the one who was wronged

Why does it have to be one way or the other it's not like the fucking worlds black and white. It's fucking gray. People get hurt and people fuck up but let's not act like only one person can be "wrong". A person can do shitty things but that doesn't automatically make what they're going through any less valid.

There's two sides to a situation. Try to think from more than just yours.

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B,

I love you. Do you feel the same? We both know how close of friends we are. We'd be so great together. Everyone already thinks we are.

Why do you tell me these things? How your ex is in love with you and wants you back? How you never got to go on a date with that guy last year, even though you just learned he liked you too? Is this some game?

Did I do this? When I told you we were just friends? Did I ruin it? Am I at fault here? Do you love me back?

You've had a much more active love life, yes. The best relationship I've ever had was with a guy on the other side of the country. I told you we were in love, but NOBODY thought that it was real. Now I, too, believe that I have always been lonely.

Is that why you're doing this? Talking about your own love life? Is it some odd game to make me jealous, or to make me act on my love? B, you're so important to me. You've helped me countless times with my depression, and I've done the same for you. You were the first one I came out to as bisexual. Of course, I knew you would understand. You're the same. B, I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to tell you how I feel and have you tell me "Thanks, S, but I don't feel the same." I don't want to be a mere self-confidence boost for you. I don't want to be just another blurred figure in your garden of broken hearts, of people that have already loved you. I want to matter to you. I want to be on your mind, the same way you're so often on mine. I want to know if you wonder desperately and so anxiously about whether I feel the same. I do.

Do you love me? You make it seem like you do, but that could just be your flirtatious personality. But you've told me I'm sweet, and cute, and that I'm the best human being you've ever known.

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose you as a friend. But I want so badly to be intimate with you, to know your very soul, to go on adventures with you, to be just the two of us against the world. I need to tell you.

–S

>>18503815
I was wronged. You destroyed my self confidence, security, and self worth in one swoop because you didn't want to just talk to me. Two wrongs do not make a right, I can fully admit I wronged badly. But your actions, your unwillingness to simply give me some support in crisis, and the words you said to inflame things were a wrong as well. Giving me space when I told you that would just make me an anxious wreck didn't help either, but my advice on my own emotions were overruled by someone else telling you incorrectly how I act, feel and think. The thing is I already forgave you.

I can admit my many failings and the hurt I caused, can you do the same and apologize in turn so we can move forward?

I guess you can advice if you have anything but I weite mostly for vent.

It's a girl problem as usual:

So I met this girl back in december actually and I realized pretty quickly that I liked her.
It was s slow start (I am a slow starter when it comes to these kind of things) but we've been on some dates bow and it's been going awesome.
The last 2 dates was incredible!
>Move worthy-dates
I could tell both times when we parted to go home that she wanted me to kiss her, I could see it in her eyes.
>I didn't
She was going away for vacation the day after that second night and I didn't really want to make a move and then she's gone for weeks.

Well, she's been gone now for 2 weeks and I regret the balls out of not doing it!
What if she comes back and have forgotten how awesome our last days together here was?

I try talking to her but she's -9 timezones away so it's difficult.

Dear goodness, I miss her... I knew I would but I miss her way more then I anticipated.

>>18503856
>there's no right or wrong
are you retarded?

>>18503867
Looking for advice if anyone has it btw.

>>18503869
None of those things happened, you must have confused me for your lover you whore!

>>18503891
Wrong person anon, me and you are in the same situation. You talk a lot like them is all.

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My Dearest R,

I don't know why I'm like this baby. You met me at the weirdest and most bizarre point of my life. I'm sorry if/when I'm distant and I'm sorry if/when I say things that hurt you. I just want the best for you. I love you so much, and just knowing you has changed my life for the better.

I'm always thinking of you, baby doll.

E.

>>18503867
I have nothing you haven't heard before i bet.
>this sounds like a Classic friendzoned "gay friend" - deal

But I would tell you to just say fuck it! And go for it anyways...A lot of people are telling themselves that "if I i keep myself around this girl she'll notice how good we are together".... Well that will never happen by itself, you have to take control of the situation and show her how awesome you are and if she takes the bait:great!
If not, Well then you know and it is usually very relieving knowing where you're at even if it's not were you wanted to be.

Just do it!

>>18503815
Actually, since I've never been getting (you)s for a while now, I decided to fuck off the board for a while.
Anyway, look at you being silent and cold towards me. I know not what the fuck I did to piss you off, but you know what, yes. I've been wronged for the past 5 fucking days. Every fucking day has been agony, and you know what, I am entitled to be pissed.

And what beautiful thoughts? I assumed you fantasized about fucking everyone here. This along many vapid thoughts about music and shit, like nibba, are you actually a teen in an adult's body, because that's just sad af.

Bottom line, fuck yourself. I'm just trying to keep composure so I don't pull a fucking murdering spree. My best friend is gonna fucking leave soon and I know not what to do if he does. He's the ONLY redeeming factor in this hellhole, and once he goes, I have no fucking reason being here anymore. Oh, I'll stay on Earth, just not here anymore. The others feel the goddamn same, hence even they're leaving.

When you're cold shouldering, that's wrong and I am entitled to fucking mutter obscenities under my breath for as long as I goddamn please, because y'ain't gonna do shit about it, right? Except bitch to A of course, but we both know how weak you are at direct confrontation.

Why didnt you were totally sincere when you dumped me after three years of unconditional and happy loving by both of us? Why did you tell to not talk to you after we broke up? Why do you had to make public every clue that shows that you are already with that other person? Its been almost one month and Im broken and shatered.

>>18503895
Well if it were IRL I could sure use someone to talk to about these things
What happened with you exactly

>>18503922
I've been there.

>>18503945
My best friend of nearly seven years who I was dating for nearly four years randomly cheated on me with their friend. We were going to patch it up and work it out, and I decided I would even seal it by proposing to them. But I flipped my shit hard and drove them away when they said they didn't know if they really loved me and that they liked this other person a week later. Basically we aren't talking at the moment and I am working on bettering myself.

Pls notice me senpai
I'm waiting for your message

>>18503649
Fuck you Richard you crazy shithead.

>>18503979
Didn't receive, try again

>>18503922
>>18503959
I'm going through there as well. Trash women can't admit they're trash. Have you blocked her from social media yet?

>>18503815
I act like this because the situation we are in sucks. And it hurts to be like this with you. You were my confidant, my best friend, my partner in the crime we call life.

I want that again. I don't want this miasma between us. We chit chat like nothing happened, but we can't seem to work past that. We can't seem to try for fixing the mess we are in.

I'm sorry for the asshole I was, and the one I have been. We both aren't right, things are fucked up, and we can't seem to past this, but damned if I don't want to.

I hope we can one day soon. I don't want either one of us to feel like this. I don't want you to feel like shit, because I want you to be happy.

>>18504130
Initials?

>>18503972
Shit I thought I sent it. Bettering yourself is the best thing you can do and I will try to do the same

>>18504177
Good idea. If you are who I hope you are, lets talk again next week? I am going to skip town to work out some personal issues for the rest of this week. I should be much easier to talk with then, and we can make sure neither of us slack off in improving ourselves.

>>18504152
I want to give you my initials, but my paranoia stops me.

Yours? If at least your first. I will return in kind.

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I want to go back and do everything again.
I met people who were interested in being my friend and I shut them out.
Now school is over and I don't know anybody, period.
Why?
Why on earth did I do that?
Did I feel like I didn't deserve them?
I feel like shit.

>>18504218
Doubtful, but R.

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Why did you go under the radar?
Yeah, i know we broke up two years ago, you went far away, all the way to Spain, but god fucking damn it, let me have a closure to all of this.

No one knows anything about you, and honestly, I'm kind of scared. Even your best friends have lost contact with you... You just went completely offline on all social media, and I'd just want to have a short chat, like "Hey, hello! How are you? I'm fine, how are you?" kind of thing. Just a normalization of relations...

I can't even hookup with anyone, and it's not like I'm a disgusting retarded loser, but I'm slowly becoming one because of this.

Shit, what did I write...?

WHERE DO I GO TO TALK TO PEOPLE,
ONLINE OR OFFLINE.

>>18504235
You're here mate

I'm burned the fuck out.

Also are people really that bad to each other? I've always been the "nice guy" around the office but when I started going my own way everyone was like setting up traps for me, WTF PEOPLE

>>18504218
Long shot. But.

H

>>18504258
Last initial, of your legal last name (if you are them you'll know what I mean)? Your initial matches the one I was looking for.

>>18504270
First initial of your legal last name*

>>18504228
Aye. I am not yours then.
I'm a L.

>>18504258
>>18504278


I wish the world was small enough to have her read this. I can try sending it, but I get nothing in return. She reads my messages, but it's a dead end after that. Just skips over the questions and continues to small talk with me.

>>18504270
Almost a trick answer. If I were yours, you'd already know.

>>18503644
Every day I see this girl at the Cafe in my office building. The cashier keeps trying to set us up and says that she's expressed interest. Every time I have an opportunity to talk to her I freeze up and don't say anything. I tell myself every day that today will be the day I summon the courage to do it and every day I end up not. Fuck.

>>18504289
Would I? The situation described is very common among people who recently had a falling out and our initials are quite common.

Let me say this; If I am the one, then I am the one who has already told you how I feel and that I want us to talk again. If you are you, you have been silent for the last week but have read two messages I sent you.

>>18504297
I just wanted to go on a rant about the typical USE THE OPPORTUNITY AND MAN UP narrative, but then I realized I'm the same.

Here is some advice: of course it all differs from situation to situation, but generally the idea of "good things happen to those who wait" is a load of bullcrap. Don't sit around. Don't wait. Go get that shit done RIGHT now. Take a loan out if you need to in order to get the thing done. Just fucking get it done! If it doesn't go your way then that's alright, at least you found out sooner than later.

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>>18504249
i guess if you changed your behaviour it means that your co-workers had to adapt theirs as well somewhat.
from my experience, some people absolutely hate doing this and it often leads to conflict and people becoming assholes suddenly for no apparent reason.

also, most people are static in their lifes. they never change and absolutely hate to see others changing, so this might be an explanation.

>>18504302
Trust me. You would know.

Best of luck with your one. It seems our situations are different, in that I've gotten no such message and would respond if I did. Unless I really didn't care. Which, if you were my one, wouldn't be possible. Ironic, a bit.

>>18504326
so much this

i think it's our parent's generation (i guess you are in your 20s) who had this kind of a view, due to a different world back then. Now, things are kinda... Well, I can only say that you need to adapt more, and all that "you can be whatever you want" and "follow your passions and wait and everything will fall into place" kind of talk is destructive.

>>18504323
Yup. I feel that by now I've fucked it up with my lack of confidence. That's what women like, after all.

>>18504353
well perhaps there is still time. I mean, being shy can be kinda nice, that way she will see that you like her back. But don't overdo it. I mean, to get some shit in life, you need to break the walls.

After all, she is just a human fucking being like you. What can happen if you say smth kinda retarded? Laugh it off.

>>18503909
Alright. But just for the record, I really doubt that I'm some friendzoned beta orbiter to her.

Posted here awhile ago.

Long term unemployment and I finally got 3 interviews in one week.

Just got the second rejection email, only one more before it's all abroad to kill yourself town. NO STOPS EXPRESS LANE!

>>18503644
I'm 21. I live in a poor family, we have a small old-fashioned farm and we breed only cows. Since I was a kid I was doing all the hard work by myself, as my fathers physical health was bad and it is getting worse and worse. My mother already had 2 injuries in the past 2 years and her working capabilities are also really limited. Now, during vacation I have less free time than during the semester in my university. It's like a summer job but you don't get paid for it. After work I basically eat, surf the internet for a while and go to sleep. The only upside is that the work keeps me fit. While all my friends are having fun during vacation I am fucking stuck on this shitty farm. During the semester I return to my parents every weekend to do all the work that can't be done by them. It annoys me that my parents can't even maintain my uni without my help. I really envy my city friends.
Luckily I am studying CS, so I should be fine after I finish uni. I just want to go to work and live by myself. I am sick of helping others while having no time for hobbies and friends. I feel empty inside.

How long am I supposed to wait for you? I don't know how much longer I can do this. Please talk to me.

>>18504483
as one of those people who was the kind you were jealous of...

I can honestly, no bullshit now, say that I envy you. Damn it man, you are holding this shit together, and plus you go to the university. You are the kind of man that gets shit done, unlike those whiny bitches who feel entitled to stuff.

I wish I was you. No jokes.

>>18504369
This is all true and I tell myself that every day when I'm walking to the cafe. But then she's there and all my plans just go to shit. I buy my lunch and exit asap even through the cashier guy trying to get her attention. I just need to sack up and be a man.

>>18504522
both you and i need to get out of the famous comfort zone thing when it comes to women

i guess...

I don't want to be me, but I don't know who else to be.

>>18504515
Thanks Anon, It means a lot. I wish you the best.

I have no letters to write here anymore because I'm probably gonna actually write one soon. Just not now. It'd be stupid to blow my load already. I'm going to write her before the year is done, and if it means nothing to her it will still mean something to me.

>>18504557
I wish me to be like you

Hand in there, and always be aware of how strong you are. Those faggy city folk (like me) can fuck off.

That's one of the reasons why i started studying agriculture, to be more like what you described.

>>18504537
Indeed. It's not easy putting yourself out there. I know she's just a dumb human like me but it still makes me nervous. She's not particularly attractive either but she's just the right level for me which probably makes it worse as I think she's "attainable".

>>18504512
I know this feeling so goddamn well. thanks for reminding me anon.

I have found redpilled women that exist locally. I wasn't aware they existed locally anymore.

>>18504512
This feeling, damn anon I feel it too.

C,

You are pathetic if you think I EVER held anything in my mind romantically about you. You are disgusting. Brush your teeth, wash your hair, and don't sob story chicks to try to get them in bed with you, and I still wouldn't give you a second thought.

Messaging me out of the blue after several years, was quite possibly the best way to reaffirm my already concrete feelings about you.

It will NEVER happen. So do yourself a favor and just forget about me, you have no business in my life.

- A

>>18504577
I will remember that. Stay strong anon, i had an emotional breakdown once back when I failed my semester on another faculty. It was painfull, but I feel It made me stronger. I am still beta as fuck, but now I don't get that emotional about things that I have no control of. I have changed throughout the years (i think for the better), and I know you can too.

Good luck with your education, I hope you will find what you are looking for.

>>18503867
Any more advice? Please, I'd really appreciate some comforting words.

It's so obvious now. People just disagree with me for the sake of disagreement. It doesn't matter what I say, no one eeevvveerrrr agrees with me. I could say 1+1=2 and for some reason, the entire world will tell me it's 3.

Whyyyyyy though?

Aren't you people bored by this?

>>18504976
I thought u were the juan that was soooooooooo bbbbbooooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeddddddd duh.

IF YOU LOVED ME SO MUCH YOU'D DIVORCE HIM ALREADY SO I CAN PROPOSE

WHY DO YOU STILL STAY MARRIED TO HIM
FIRST YOU SAID IT WAS BECAUSE YOU NEEDED HIS HEALTH INSURANCE BUT NOW YOU HAVE YOUR OWN

>>18504994
I am so fucking bored.

Why is everybody (even you, let's not kid ourselves here) a pervert? The whole fuckin' world, man. We're ALL dirty fucking piggies.

Smoke em if ya got em

>>18505046
Because we're literally programmed to eat, sleep, and fuck. It's in our DNA, it's an integral part of our survival as a species.

>>18505046
because I have a high sex drive and no gf to act it out with so it just gets all pent up.

>>18505046
Well that depends, why the fuck do you act, dress, and look like a slut?
OOOOHHHH

>>18505137
I'm a dude, stop looking at me ya homo.

>>18505142
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo~!
The snack that bites back. Me likey!
But ok, not gonna touch you, but dress and act nicely damn it! you're confusing people here (even me).

>>18505137
That would've been shitty. If I were a woman the slut could've hurt my feelings.

I'm a perv too, but today I saw an old guy distastefully staring down a teens shirt. I dont get grossed out by this stuff normally... but i felt kinda sorry for the girl. She looked uncomfortable.

He's like a predator. I'm like a predator... trying to sniff out that puss- well hopefully I cant sniff it out but you know what I'm trying to say..

>>18505156
Snack that bites back... hahaha. I like that one

>>18503644
I miss you so much. I can't do this anymore... I don't like this side of myself. I feel so needy.

>>18505046
I've never once lied about my perverted status.

The big difference though... I'm perverted when the time is right. It's a big difference.

>>18505167
That is a very good point you just made... totally a time and place for it. Perv on good sir (or lady)

I do believe that everybody is perverted Underneath our perverted feelings are some other weird things though... like everybody wants to be loved.
Why? I really mean that... why do we need love or attention? This sick validation... we need to stick it in (or be stuffed< I'm all about equality here) to feel like we are worth something. The people who have sex draughts begin to feel like they are less than other men or women... Do you guys ever think about this? its odd.

It really does feel like you guys are trying to send me a message. That you're trying to set me up with grimes.

I would be totally ok with that but what the fuck is going on.

>>18505166
Contact them anon.

>>18505190
I can't tell him. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship.

I've been feeling really lonely lately so I looked for events or activities I could do to meet people and make new friends.
I ended up being even more depressed than before when I realized I'd be fucking miserable showing up by myself to any of them.

>>18503644
My relationship is not permanent. It could end any moment. How do I enjoy it with the threat of despair being so real?

I don't want to erode my relationship. I want to live in this beautiful present. How do I not?

every social media step I take is potentially the last. I wouldn't doubt that there are still people waiting for me to misstep. some day all of these people will hold no power.

>>18505298
it's difficult to remember every scrap of information about you that exists and what every account was ever used for. all it would take is using the wrong account that the wrong people know about. like you, you could find the fb I just set up. luckily no one else on that side of my life but you has that address.

shit gets tiring. all it would take is one misstep while someone like me is watching me.

>>18505298
The trick is to constantly fuck up, so no one has anything new to say.

>>18504512
Do they even know you're waiting ?!

>>18505366
Yes they do. :(

I could really really use a back rub.

Are you training the ladies in the art of loving me? Do they know of that spot on my neck? It's my on switch.

>>18504512

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fL4eH1SY-M

Mood.

How long do you think it will take my family to realize I don't belong here?

"Do you care?" That when I leave I will never see any of you again? I do. But this is not living. I'm miserable here. You're literally killing me by keeping me here. I don't need counseling. I don't need to talk to a psychiatrist.

I know what I need. I need my rebirth, I need to get out of here. I'm sure of it. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

Comcast can suck on my fucking cock. Piece of shit router, piece of shit customer service. The day that fucking company dies will be a good day. I need to waste data now? The technician may or may not call? The fuck company is this?

>>18504512
Pretty sure she's not gonna speak to you ever again for any reason.
t. guy who went through this shit already. She left without saying a word. Fuck her, too.

>>18505325
I do that too. the trick is to put out info that no one can do anything with without letting you know who they are and where they are.

>>18505423
speaking of which, to you, you are the only person with that email. so when you talk about finding my match account that I stopped using years ago, obviously through checking account social media associations, that's how I know it was you, that you're here, and that I've actually been talking to you... also that you have an interest of some kind.

just, as a note. wish you'd use that email instead of go super sleuth with it but maybe we'll end up at the same point regardless of how you get there. maybe if I'd have gone super sleuth in the first place instead of purposely stopping myself because of some naive notion that we could get to know each other in person and that doing all that would mean we'd have nothing to talk about, I never would have gone full retard.

it is what it is.

>>18505422
Either way I need to stop thinking about her so much whether if she comes back or not.

It's fucking up my mind.

S
I can't deal with being treated like shit and ignored. How are we going to solve the problems we have if we don't communicate? For now I'm going to work on myself while you continue to ignore me.

>>18503649

I did this to a slight degree. I didn't create new accounts, but I did message my ex on every account I had.

She would block and unblock me repeatedly, I think there have been eight cycles of it since march last year. Anyway, at the end of the year, after keeping me dangling, she suddenly reappeared 3 months after disappearing last just to tell me she was engaged. We argued and I ended up spamming her and she stopped responding.

This is where it gets interesting. I realised it was pointless and I said something to the effect of "please leave me alone so I can get over you." The response to that was for her to then and only then, get her fiancé to threaten to kill me and my family members.

I haven't wanted to speak to her anymore for obvious reasons, and she recently hit me up from a random facebook account under a false name. Funnily enough, I value my family's safety more than I do talking to her, so I just ignored her.

The point to this all is you could be the psycho, but you also could be being gamed by a psycho. She had me convinced I was the problem and it took a long time for me to see the truth. Let her go and if she tries to draw you back in then she's probably the crazy one.

Why are you faggots making me do this all alone?

Is it more entertaining that way? Really?

Wouldn't it be better if I had someone to bounce ideas around with? Someone that could experience this bullshit along with me?

I just don't understand why you're doing this the way you are.

I fucking lost everything I had. Again. This is the 3rd time it happens this year. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUCK.

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>>18503649

Okay so we all know of the book/movie 50 Shades of Grey, right? And if you watch any reviews on youtube about the movie they usually all agree that Christian is a harmful character - borderline rapey psychopath. To quote wikipedia:

>In 2013, social scientist Professor Amy E. Bonomi published a study wherein the books were read by multiple professionals and assessed for characteristics of intimate partner violence, or IPV, using the CDC's standards for emotional abuse and sexual violence. The study found that nearly every interaction between Ana and Christian was emotionally abusive in nature, including stalking, intimidation, and isolation.

My point is I'm noticing some similarities to myself and this character. To a lesser degree, of course, I'm no where as rich or as handsome as this person and I don't have a file cabinet full of my ex girlfriend's social security numbers.

However I just ended a relationship with someone I thought I cared a lot for, and basically she told me that I was abusive and manipulative to her. Now I'm stuck questioning myself.

>stalking
Check. I have her facebook, her steam account, etc. and I can't help looking at them just to see if she's even online.

>intimidation
According to her I've pressured her into either having sex or doing things she didn't want to do. As much as I want to deny this I know there are times I've gotten frustrated with her.

>isolation
This one I'm not sure of, but I never really got along with her family at all and I was only an acquaintance to most of her friends. I never tried to keep her away from them, I just never was a part of their group.

The last thing she said to me is that she needs to protect herself from me and that she doesn't trust me at all. So yeah I feel like a monster. Any idea where I can go for help? Or should I avoid relationships for everyone else's sake?

>>18505548
What happened anon?

I screwed up by saying "I love you" at wrong time... again. Way to make my love life an embarrassment.

>>18503913
Lmao. Not OP but no wonder your lass doesn't chat with you and finds comfort in another. You call it bitching but it seems like she found a new security blanket. Why not meet with the lass and be direct?

>>18503644
Cant find work or a girlfriend.

I love fucking my ass with a dildo but am scared to take a real cock.

I like to cuddle a lot and be affectionate. I don't know if he'd be into that. Im not sure if he'd hate that and feel uncomfortable.

>>18503815
I'm sorry you think I'm wrong, but I am not your puppet. If I don't wanna do those things with you, I fucking don't. Why are you so persistent about doing this? The more I think about it the more I feel dumb for ever considering it. I want to be friends damn it, not in a relationship. Understand that and move on

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>>18505382
https://youtu.be/ycUkaNxanj8

>>18503815
Listen, I have no regrets. Everything is a joke to you. You are actually a living child. You hurt me, and my friends and refuse to admit to any wrong-doing. Why? You're five years older than me and you act like a twelve year old. You made one friend stressed to the point of making him cry, and made another one fear leaving you. And what do you call us? Judgemental assholes. I don't care what you do at this point dude, just don't expect me to speak to you ever again.

>>18505586
Wait, are you the one who made the comment or are you just replying to this?

>I am not your puppet, don't want to do those things with you, i wanna be friends dammit etc...
Uhh, ok?
See, what bothers me here is that someone I know thinks this way, but doesn't act on it. I know for sure you're not her, but the way she acted towards me gives these vibes. Only thing is she literally never talks to me anymore.

I digress, anon, you do you though. Shake 'im off by yelling that to him, though. It'd do both of you a favor.

>>18505531
Because they're largely incompetent but somehow manage to do a decent job

I'm so insecure and paranoid that I think someone knows that I've been posting here to vent my shit

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>>18505595
mood
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBuRv-OWvHk
im feeling fine

>>18503815
Are you serious? You made me a point of entertainment, you brought your friends to my territory and pissed on it. I should have done more tbqh

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I legit think my parents are trying to hurt me or even kill me.

I am almost sure that they tried to trick me into signing away my rights so they could either get me committed against my will or to give them ownership of my finances. Like, by slipping in some waiver papers into my other paperwork to get me to sign without knowing. They for sure have put THC extract in my food at one point. I think they might have been trying to me in trouble when I have to take a piss test.

My father is the one that has been aiding the people hacking my computer. He leaves his laptop on with the display turned off and "almost" closed so they can use his computer to access mine over the network. They took all my passwords and loaded my machine with keyloggers and other horseshit. I have proof of all of this too.

This is why my mother won't ever fucking help me. They are covering something up but I don't know what. I'm almost certain it has everything to do with money and the transition. Neither one of them want me to get the sex change. I think that's what the medical and psychiatric waiver papers were about. They want to say I'm not in right mind so they won't do the procedures and will use my signature as proof of it.

Why the fuck do they care so much about that? It's not like they are the ones getting the work done on them. They don't know anything about me. They never listen to anything I have to say, ever.

I wish they would just fuck off and let me be happy. They don't want me to leave.

If I had the chance I would leave right now. If someone showed up at my door to take me away from this place right this very second I would leave without thinking twice. I wouldn't even pack. I would just go. I want to live. I want to be happy. I want to be what I was meant to be. I can't do any of this on my own right now. I'm a prisoner, I'm a slave. I need someone to come and get me.

I want to be called by my name.
I want to be a daughter, a wife, the lead lady.

I want to be free.

>>18504483
Really proud of you anon, hope your parents are too. How many more years until you graduate? Why don't you start slowly talking about this matter with your parents?

>>18505391
I recently came here and the house where I am temporarily has AT&T and it's quite good. Why not invest in a newer and better service, anon?

>>18505574
I did that. She denied me talking to her.
I got silent treated.
I tried several times talking to her, but she just didn't want to even look at me. I was being polite that whole time, actually. It was only after the 17th attempt talking to her that I got pissed.

Far as I'm concerned, there's nothing more to do. Oh well.

>tfw might have hypothyroidism, narcolepsy, and lupus

I want to get off Mr bones wild ride

>>18503644
I cant find work but i have a really stupid idea to get a job. You're the smartest group of fuckers on earth so critique my plan. Let me know if you want to hear it.

>>18503867
I know I'm pathetic, but I'm bumping this again

>>18505658
>17th
lol take a load of that guy

>>18505626
https://youtu.be/blm7sGJzNCg
Same

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Don't say you had a good time on our date and want to see me again if you didn't have a good time and have no intention of seeing me or contacting me ever again REEEEEEE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

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>>18503644
I've been forgotten. No amiable social contact on any medium. I feel good.

Over a month has passed and I still can't convince myself to get over you. Im living life the way I want to, and I have dreams and ambitions of my own. But I can't make myself believe that I don't want you in my life. I need you.

>>18505586
We dated for almost four years and made plans to live together. You cheated on me and told me you didn't love me. I am fine with being your friend. But I just want an apology, you should've told me instead of hurting me. Stop with the move on crap, I am fine being your friend but recognize I have feelings too. You don't have to date me, but stop pressuring me into dating other people. I have been in the dating pool long enough, and dating anyone but you would be lying to whomever I date because you are the only one I want. These feelings have lasted seven years and they won't stop now.

>>18505583
as a guy, I would love to have an affectionate and cuddly gf. I think most guys would.

Been texting this guy for about 2 months now almost everyday. He's not in the country right now, how do I tell him I like him and want to start dating, or should I wait 2 months until he gets back?

am I really that interesting? So many people have told me "You are the most interesting person I have ever met." and "Every conversation with you makes me see the world in a different way."

They also say "You are the strangest boy." or "Why are you so weird?"

I don't think I'm that weird or at least... not before. What do I do that's weird? Do I sit weird? Do I sound weird? Do I look weird?

Weird is a funny word If you keep saying it, it's like a siren. "WEE irrdd WEE irrdd"

I'm lonely.

That one time I went to the grocery store with my mom and I found an empty lane so I could run and then jump on it and go WEEEEE. Later that day someone posted a video on facebook of an otter sliding on it's belly over and over again with the text "The cutest thing you will see today." Was that about my grocery store racing? is it weird to do that?

One of my GFs told me that when I eat something delicious I do a little dance in my chair. Do I really do that? Is that weird?

I saw a post on here where someone said "When you see something you like or learn something new you make a lcute little "oh!" noise." and that simpsons video with the baseball guy falling in a spiral, but then sees "E=mc^2" goes "oh!" while taking a picture of it. Was that about me?

is it vain to think so many things are about me? But you tell me "Everyone is talking about you. Literally everyone." Are they really? Why? I don't do anything.

JonTron posted a bunch of things that sounded mean... were those about me? Also said "What's so great about Wallie?" and yeah. Was he being mean to me? What did I do to him? I liked his videos.

I want this to be over. I just want snugs, that's all I want.

Am I kawaii? In a super pathetic kinda way. Is that why women like me? Because they just want to take care of me and make me better?

Do people think I do these things on purpose?

I'm so lost and confused. Sometimes I say "I'm adorable!" but it's mostly sarcastic. I know I'm just a pathetic loser.

I try not to compare my relationship to others and just chalk it up to how messed up the two of us were regarding sexuality growing up due to many factors as well as our living condition now but it feels awful that my fiance really does not see taking care of my needs as something that she could do for me at all.

I don't want her to feel obligated to do stuff to me because I run all around town to get shat she needs and care more about her well-being than she does. I just want her to put effort into me as a man out of her own accord. She might not have experience, but neither have I and I research and try to learn things to please her that she won't let me try.

I thought us going further would be a step in the right direction, but we're back at where we were at the start in many aspects like the night in the expensive hotel was retconned or something.

I love her and want to be with her, but I'm frustrated and talking about it does nothing but make her sad. I can't really sleep or act nice right now. I just sigh and keep myself from crying again over how she does not want to have sex and I won't get any release from all the stress I have. Jerking off because she won't touch me is killing me inside.

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>>18505837
I would never have said so many things if I knew the person would read them. A lot of it is me being frustrated at the world. I study so much, I work so hard on the things I care about. I know I'm far more educated than a lot of people when it comes to art. This includes the projects I work on, things like vidja, fashion, and entertainment. I would watch youtube videos of people that have never spent a second working on video games or studying design but they would try to talk about such things as if they were hardened veterans. They would have no idea what they were talking about or have an incredibly limited knowledge of the history of such things yet they would be extremely successful.

It's jealousy but mostly I was confused. Here I am, someone that spends all day painting. I've worked on games since I was in highschool but no one would listen to me about the subject. I know that whenever I gave a talk or demonstration in person people were all ears but online... I found no success and would be harassed for the things I would say.

So watching people with no experience, no knowledge or know-how be wildly successful while I struggled so hard just made me bitter. I would rant anonymously or to my friend. My rants would be MEAN as hell but honestly I would just play up the anger for comedic effect. They weren't meant to hurt anyone.

I had no idea that my privacy was being completely and utterly raped to the moon and back. I had no idea that the world was listening, that people did care what I had to say. So many people are going to judge based on private conversations from a confused, depressed, frustrated boy that hated himself. A boy that just couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong.

I hate myself so much. I know I shouldn't have ranted the way I did but I didn't think anyone was listening. I was a hateful prick.

I had no idea that the reason for my frustrations was because a third party was purposefully blockading my success.

>>18505839
>Jerking off because she won't touch me is killing me inside.
I'll touch you anon. I need a human touch every now and then.>>18505839

I just heard an explosion and some pops after that... can't tell if late fireworks, or terrorist attack. shouldn't have to question it but democrats let terrorists and cartels into the country.

>>18505949
either the police station a few miles away is getting hit really hard, or someone had a very large firework that they forgot to set off a week ago.

I know I shouldn't get my hopes up but I just want to be with you.

I hate myself. I want to die.

I wish I were taller. I'd probably have a lot more confidence in myself.
I'm male, 5'3''-5'4''. My dick is like 5inches. I've never had a girlfriend. Never had a kiss. I'm a fuck up mentally. I barely have friends and I'm not that social at work. I have lots of fun though with my family. I'm also really fucking cute. Like really cute and handsome. I feel like with my looks I can pull anyone. I've known girls throughout middle school and high school that I would talk to and I could get them to like me, but I've could never pulled the trigger.
I'm also fit and go to the gym a lot. But still, I'm so short.

YOU'RE NOT MY GIRLFRIEND

I got my first bee sting. Everyone only talks about the swelling and the pain. I can deal with that. It's not that bad.

But no-one ever tells you about the itching. I got stung on the finger, and it itches like crazy. It's driving me nuts. I hope this shit is over soon.

>>18503644
Why is being a girl seem like it's so much easier?

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. And it's been fucking hard. She told me a lot of shit that made me feel like a shitty person. But I've realized that I like who I am.

Then I hear she's already talking to another guy. And it's someone I vaguely knew in highschool. And I find it unfair that an antisocial shut in like her can find another guy with the flick of a wrist.

I'm just bitter. I just feel like a loser again. I've been living my life, going out with my friends partying talking to people helping them out with their problems. But it just feels like I'll be alone forever. Hell one of my boys just met a girl on tinder and I'm jealous. He's attractive tall and a chill dude. I look in the mirror and I use to think I was attractive but now I feel gross. Like no one will ever see me as dateable ever again.

Help I'm afraid of being alone.

Y'all may have seen me post about my yoga teacher crush on her before. Here is the latest.

We had been on friendly terms for over a year and I decided when my latest membership expires I would ask her out for a coffee.
However, after my final class I choked and went home without asking her. Usually no big deal - would just try again at another time but since I already mentioned to her I wouldn't be back at the studio for a while it felt awkward ambushing her at the studio just to ask her out so I left her a thank you card for her tutelage and a note with my number saying I'd like to meet her for coffee.

This was last Thursday.

As much as it pains me, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that she's not interested but having looked into how I went about things, the general consensus seems to be that women more often prefer to be asked for the number.

I know I whimped out a little, but I also thought I was doing her a favour by taking some pressure off by giving her my number.

Is it worth showing up after one of her classes face to face for one last attempt or would that be seen as too bothersome?

All I'd be saying is that in hindsight, I thought the card was a little juvenile and that I didn't want to disappear altogether without at least asking her face to face.

>>18506145
Someone can love you and not want to be your girlfriend. Someone can love you and not care if it's reciprocated.

so I'm laying here trying to go to sleep, and I hear someone get a window broken out on their car on the street.

welp, looks like it's time to move. this was a decent area a year ago, been getting progressively shittier just like the rest of this city. the gangs keep growing here and the cops don't have the manpower to deal with it cause democrats can't fucking run anything with any semblance of a fucking budget that allows for proper infrastructure spending or security spending. instead they spend it on beautification, welfare, illegals, and spend their time in office trying to pass transgender bathroom bills instead of dealing with the massive pension issues for the city employees. I should set up a rope business.

For now, this is the deal.

There's always a dining table laid for you. You come, and ask for something to eat. I let you finish your meal, then I ask you if you want something more. If you say "no", I just stand up and ask you to leave. Then you leave, and I am left alone with my misery.

>>18506208
I want sexy times.

I want to scream "Do any of you even fucking care?"

But then I realize of course not. No one fucking cares about me.

No one should.

I suffer because it's what I deserve. That's just the honest truth.

>>18503644
I miss the sex.

We were fucking awful for each other. We made each other fucking hate each other in the end, we didn't want the same things and we just weren't right for each other.

But goddamn you were sexy. Fuck I can't look at another girls tits without comparing them to yours. Your beautiful face as we made out and I grabbed your ass.
It was so amazing. Maybe it's because you're the first girl I had ever been with but fuck you were hot.

But most of I all I feel like thats all we had going for us. The only time when things were peaceful.

I miss the sex. I wanna say it was just the sex. But I'm afraid that it was something than that.

But for now I'll just say that it was the sex that I miss. So that I don't have to admit that there was something right in our relationship so I can get over you.

>>18505675
Go for it, Anon. Let's hear your stupid plan.

What now?

I'm sad most of the time and can never get a break from work or study. I hate myself and can't form emotional connections with normal people. The people I do attract are fucking crazy. I think I can make it better, but I'm still figuring out how.

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I think the whole "love yourself so you don't need to feel validated by others" and "support yourself because sometimes no one else will" is really misleading. We, as a species, need human interaction. Its biologically impossible to be completely content and happy being alone for long. I do think self-acceptance is important, but its not something that will get you out of avoiding the need to interact with others.

Rather, I think its much more healthy to learn that rejection isn't so bad. That opening up to others, and consequently being pushed away for it, isn't a slight against you personally but simply you don't fit in with what they want their own life to be.

I'm having trouble getting out of bed in the mornings, which is a bad, bad sign.

I woke up to my face being swollen that my eyes struggle to see

I have a feeling Iris was cheating on me the entire time.

That's the only way to explain her behavior. She was projecting hardcore. if you told me that she was fucking that druggie in the beginning, the old photographer guy, Andrew, her school mate, and Charlies I would believe you.

She was always claiming that I was cheating on her. Every girl I passed on the street Iris claimed I wanted to fuck her. Every girl at work she thought I was fucking them. She spied on me constantly. When Emily waved to me that one day, Iris gave me shit for it for another 2 years. When I made my female coworker laugh, Iris said I was cheating on her with that coworker.

I flirted with a few girls online after our trip in SanFrancisco. That was really the event that crushed me and I just couldn't deal with her fucking jealousy anymore. I treated her like a princess. I gave her gifts, I thought of different dates, I would think of different activities for us to do together (like sports, video games, ect), I made every holiday special for her, and I never expected her to repay me for anything. But after that work trip (which I was suppose to do alone but I paid out of pocket to bring her along) I just wanted to know what it felt like to be loved.

The pink haired girl wasn't cheating. You left and told me you were never coming back. Same thing for the Desu girl. I never cheated on her and I was loyal to my core. I could have fucked other girls. Believe me, they asked. But I didn't.

There is no way she wasn't cheating on me the entire time we were together. All the times she threatened to kill herself after an argument, the times she locked herself in the bathroom and would cut herself. The times she would just leave and disappear without telling me where she was going when I didn't have sex with her when she wanted to.

You people setup a web of lies and horseshit around my life.

How to make friends? Loneliness is literally driving me insane.

I'm fucking something up right now... i don't like it.

My employer screwed me over recently>Ive started looking fo a new job as a result but I oversleep now, I have no energy at work.. my motivation is dead.

I sort of want to still end my employment there on a good note but motovating myself to do so is harder then I thought.

>>18506377
Go out meet people..
I've been there: I moved away from all my family and friends to the other side of the country a few years ago: took me about a year to meet my first friend.. now I have a good socialcircle that is rivaling my original one in my hometown.

I pretty much decided that I'm gonna gondo shit by myself and while I do them: I will challange myself to talk to random people > eventually I found one that was receptive and we've been hanging out ever since!

>>18506371
The sex thing was the worst. She stressed me the fuck out constantly. I have IBS, meaning my stomach causes me agonizing pain at least once a week. She would pester me for sex after I spent the last 4 hours shitting my brains out, throwing up, and just being miserable. Of course I wasn't in the fucking mood to have sex.

I also tend to not want to have sex when I'm stressed out (which is a lot of the time...) and my biggest source of stress was her. Her bitching about my art. Her constant jealousy. Her mood swings. She stressed me the fuck out and I had a stressful job. For the first couple years there I truly was working my ass off. I had a lot of responsibility, I had never worked in a studio before, and we were always unsure if we were going to get laid off. It was stressful.

She, on the other hand, had no stress at all. She didn't go to school, she didn't have a job, and she didn't do shit all day. I never gave her any flak for it either. I supported her 100% and I would always try to get her the tools she needed for self education and training. She never used them though.

So my sex drive wasn't all that high. I just wanted to relax, cuddle, watch some TV or paint on the weekdays when I got home. I liked to go out to see a movie or dinner on the weekends though. She didn't even try to understand or make my life any less stressful. Instead she constantly gave me shit for any little reason she could find. It's like... stressing me out was her job (WHICH TURNS OUT IT WAS. LITERALLY.)

You guys tell me how important consent is for sex. You say "No means no." and that pestering a girl over and over again until they finally give in is a form of rape. An abuse of power difference.

If that is the case then that girl raped me dozens of times. So many times I had to have sex with her or she would go off and try to kill herself. Or if I didn't have sex with her she would cut herself.

I dont know what a normal relationship is like.

I want to fucking die.

>>18506325
>I think the whole "love yourself so you don't need to feel validated by others" and "support yourself because sometimes no one else will" is really misleading.

People always give the advice to "just be yourself" and I think that it's basically the same thing. I also think that it can be very misleading for some people.
If you've already had success by 'being yourself' then you know what is meant by saying it.
If you're feeling let down by everyone and think "But I AM being myself! Why the hell am I not able to connect with others? This isn't good advice at all.", then chances are you will become increasingly bitter and resentful towards this kind of advice and to the people giving it.

Here's a little story about myself:
After years of trying to become a better person and improving myself, spending time with friends and all, I was suddenly the only person not being invited to the birthday party of a somewhat good friend while literally everyone else had been invited. That moment reminded me of my highschool time when I was the unpopular kid that most people made fun of (those people were shitty anyway). But now I thought I had found good friends (and those really are good people!) who wouldn't do this kind of thing. So my mind raced and I thought "Am I still this much of an unlikeable person even after years of improving myself? Do I not deserve friends? Is there some aura around me that tells people I don't deserve this kind of thing?" I just didn't understand what could be so wrong with me. It was frightening, like looking into an abyss and almost falling into the deep depths of it.
Thankfully, I did another thing. I thought: "Maybe I just don't put myself out there enough". I interacted more with everyone and was eventually invited to that birthday party (without obtrusion from my side). Suddenly, everthing was effortlessly, easily going and I was being invited to all the stuff.
Everything suddenly came NATURALLY.

(cont., but not story)

>>18506393

So, to conclude this post:
The question that stirred in my head for quite some time now is: "Why do these kind of things seem to come NATURALLY for some (as it seems to be the normal way) and why does it not for so many others (especially on this board and on the internet)?
I think it's the same with girls. There's TONS of material about "Why do I have no gf" and "How do I get a gf" on the internet, countless sites and forums and even more frustrated people. But many of the most successful people with women have probably never read anything about this whole stuff. It simply comes to them NATURALLY!

Something in our society makes people have problems with things (Dating, social interaction, self-worth, confidene) that should simply come naturally, but don't.
I think it was different in the past decades. I even think that the high number of depressed people is an indication of this.


Well, this post was venting.

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>>18506325
>"love yourself so you don't need to feel validated by others"
You need to love yourself before loving others because you wouldn't know what love even is.

If you don't love yourself, you don't think you're worth being loved. So when someone says "I love you." unless you also love you, then you simply won't believe them. Which means you think they are lying. Which means you don't trust them.

How can you love someone you don't trust? How can you love someone while lying to them?

That said, I don't love myself at all. When anyone tells me they love me, I don't believe them. Why would anyone love me? Something would have to be wrong with them. They just want to use me and then leave me like everyone else.

I guess that's all I'm good for though. Is for validation. Attention. Use me to gain popularity. Use me for money.

I'm here to suffer for other's enjoyment. I've been lying to myself my entire life and just now realizing the truth. That's why no one will help me. They know I'm worthless outside of my design. My purpose.

I'm an object to be destroyed.

I'm a nihilist, you're an introvert and I feel like this has to be amongst the worst combinations for a relationship to work, but it does. There's a lot of things I want to say to you, I'd also love for you to be honest with me. I know and you know that we didn't imagine everything.

I did all the shit you're meant to in order to 'work on yourself'/ 'love yourself'/ w/e
>took time off dating
>did therapy for my anxiety
>nurtured my friendships, forgave people who've hurt me
>creative outlet
>found a new job which suits me
>learnt to drive and now go on adventures

And then I meet a guy. And fall for him. And he doesn't feel the same way and leads me on and treats me like shit and now I feel like shit and he feels fine and it's not fucking fair.

Why can't I bounce back? Why does it bother me so much when he was clearly a dickhead? Why isn't my full and happy single life enough?

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Karen,

I'm sorry I threw an autistic shit fit when you didn't kiss me the last time we ever saw each other. You really dodged a bullet on that one and I wish I can grow to be half as emotionally mature as you are.
It's only recently that I'm realizing just how unbelievably strange (and frankly creepy) I was around you and wish I could have appreciated your kindness and patience. (Cringe incoming anon) like the time I ran into your garage behind you and scared you have to death just because I wanted to give a "proper " goodbye when you went on a long vacation. Most people would have written me off by then and considering how I acted later you really should have. But you always saw the bright side in me and I still thank you for that. I hated you for so long. I used to think that when I needed you most you abandoned me, that you callously discarded me because you were selfish or bored. Of course now I see that it was none of those things, just me.
I know you wouldn't even in the slightest care about how I ended up but I'd like to think you'd take some pride in learning that you taught me some pretty valuable lessons.
You were a good friend and far better to me than I ever deserved. I just wish I could have been better to you.

This video feels like you're speeddating Emma Stone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8HqyuLBqnU

It's the best thing I have ever seen in my life.

I was masturbating and spontaneously started having a nose bleed. It has stopped since
Should I be worried?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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>>18506648
I'm a barbie girl
In a barbie worlldddd
Life in plastic!
It's fantastic!

You can brush my hair,
Undress me anywhere
:3
<3 <3 <#

Bit off topic, I have a long (like, a few posts long) rant inside me about my lofe and stuff like that, is gioyc or /adv/ in general the place to post?

>Birthday on 10 July
>Hide birthday on Facebook so I don't see my fear of no one wishing me coming true
>Work friends manage to find out since I had day off
>Things are weird

You can't win man. Also thanks to my fucking parents for destroying birthdays for me by not ever celebrating my birthdays as a kid after my brother passed away. According to my parents, one kid passing away is a perfectly fine reason to neglect, psychologically abuse and destroy the surviving kid's life.

My dad was a shit provider and a terrible male role model. Mom was too busy trying to keep my dad from fucking up in his younger days (he used to party a lot) and so had no time for me.

>Shitty parents
>Brother died
>Shitty childhood
>Shitty school years
>Shitty uni years
>Shitty job
>Shitty borderline ghetto home
>Can't afford to have friends (literally, I'm way too fucking poor)
>Can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I won't kill myself because I wanna finish off my karma, but man, I can't wait till this human life thing is done with and I never have to come back to this world full of suffering.

Well, fuck it. I have decided to move on. I should have done this after we broke up, but I still had and have feelings for you. You have said that you missed me and such, but have made no note or hint at use trying to work past our problems. I have been more than willing to do so, because I didn't want to just give up on us. Things didn't work out that way it seems. I have no idea what you want, I do. I talked it out with some friends, which may be biased, but I see that speak truthfully. You called me immature, and accepted it. Not only that I been working on those things because you were right to call me so. Yet, you weren't anymore mature than I, but you continue to act the same.

I don't need this. So go ahead and get your life together as you said, I understand and I would have been okay with us working together to make our lives better as a team.

You want to be stronger alone, I guess. Its not like I don't want that as well, I just thought that we could have gained both as a couple. Silly me, huh?

Fuck knows where life will take us. I need to continue working on myself and my life. I really do hope that you working on yours is honestly that and not some way of hiding that you wanted other cocks. I'm not out looking for pussy, I was find with yours as I had been for years.

But hey were two different people that seems wanted different things.

I hope you are honest, and if you are I wish you well. If you just wanted to get banged up, well that's on you, I guess.

>>18506084
Start by acknowledging them and making them feel special...

>>18505372
Unless you flat out said ' I'll wait for you' they don't know. And if you did, then you need to tell them otherwise

Do you want me to move on?

>had young GF
>she cheats on me 'cause bad childhood
>we get rocky in our relationship
>try to tough it out
>years later, she's matured
>still can't get over her past
>break up

feels bad man. but I wasn't taking good care of myself, or her.

>>18507048
It sucks man. Cheating is a hard blow for any relationship to take. I'm in a relationship that had cheating and I wouldn't recommend staying together for everyone. It's a lot of work

I'm in a LDR, and every time we're about to hang out, I get this phase where I'm not excited about it or just left feeling meh. I don't know what it means because it always goes away when we're actually hanging out

>>18507073
Yeah, there's a reason for that.
It's not a real relationship.
I know you're desperate for any sort of love, but for the love of god, please just find it in your nearby area, where you can interact with it.

Even fat neckbeards like my cousin landed total fucking amazons just because he went outside and woo'd them his way. I envy him, but I'm not as hungry for love.

>>18503879
>Theres only right or wrong
Are you?

>>18503644
These mood swings are driving me nuts.

I'm feeling good about the breakup. I think fuck her and I'll find someone better. I say whatever and I genuinely feel happy living my days then a few hours later I remember small moments in our relationship. Whether it be a fight, a good moment or something and I feel a pain in my chest. And I start to feel shitty.

When does this pain go away? How do I stop thinking about those moments I spent with her? Why is this so hard?

>>18503644
So out of shape i cant even go out for a short walk because my hair gets soaked in sweat

Cant afford gym because of no job since who would hire a guy that has sweat dripping of him at the smallest exercise

Cant work out at home because my old woman is a fucking hoarder and there is no space at all

Completely in denial and when i say something about it she starts playing the victim "if someone would help me things wouldnt be like this" even though plenty of people have offered to help and when i say thats bs she either tells me to shut up because i am whining or she goes outside

Stupid cunt i wish she was dead.

Dallas?

>>18507112
I do feel it's a real relationship, and there's real feelings between us. We met locally and started dating over 6 years ago and I have no interest in leaving him for someone purely because they're easier to hang out with.

>>18507218
Houston.

An intern got hired in my workplace and she's really irritating. She's opinionated on everything and her opinions are absolute dogshit. She's just regurgitating one-liners from media she consumes. She thinks she's really smart and makes reference to it all the time & tries to use big words without understanding their meaning.

I stupidly got involved in a heated discussion with her today about a topic I didn't even really care about and got annoyed because she kept shouting her opinion at me.

She has dyed hair, piercings tattoos and is super opinionated but is also really conservative/right leaning in her views. Its pretty funny desu because she's so unattractive and desperate for an 'alpha' boyfriend as she keeps referring to it, that I can understand why guys don't go for her.

I just have to learn not to engage with her opinions and keep living my life.

So if shit hits the fan in a relationship. And you are broken up, you both still have feelings for each other, but one person doesn't know for sure if they want to try again. Is it weird to tell them that you will wait for them? Like to wait regardless of the outcome?

>>18507277
you risk making them feel guilty. if they decide to not get back together, they'll know you're waiting. they'll be moving on knowing that you're stuck

>>18507281
Oh, I meant for an answer.

If we don't get back together, so be it. But if there is a chance I don't want to disappear.

>>18507248
>>18507218
Bee County, pardners.

>>18507309
thats a nice courthouse ya'll got. nice theatre too but I have to wonder why it's closed down being all retro and cool like. someone outta buy it and fix it up. doesn't seem like there's a lot there, is there a lot of bees?

>>18507296
Then remain friends and hope for the best.

God, any omnicisent being out there, any caring human being, I need your help, I have fallen and I can't get up any more, please help.

I have been broken to bits and I can't get myself back together, I wish I wasn't too much of a pussy to suicide.

What the hell am I doing?

>>18507374
So say nothing? Fuck. I guess the best thing I can do is just drop it. Like drop everything, I don't want to be just friends with this person. All I can do is drop them and move on. I cant even hold on to the hope of maybe because then I'm still clinging, still waiting for them. Still setting myself up for disappointment.

I guess I need try to forget. This is the hardest thing I have had to do.

Not sure how. This was my first relationship. And sometimes I wonder if it's the Sunk Cost Fallacy that kept me with her. At times I feel a bit disgusted in myself for even seeing it that way.

Fuck.

>>18503644
I sometimes can't stand the way I look, I sometimes get curious so I take a pic of myself or check myself out from all angles, in different angles and all that and then I get super depressed...

In a very lit up place my face is all red and I look terrible but in less lighting I look passable.

Some pics I take of myself are actually not that bad, I may come off as handsome, but turn the camera a little more to either left or right and remove the flash and I look terrible.

I can't tell anymore, sometimes I like myself and seem like a 6/10 but then I get times where I see myself as a 2/10 and wonder if thats what everyone sees...

I don't know what to think about this

>>18507422
>in different angles
meant to be: in different "lighting"

I'm worried im not going to find a girl i find attractive to date me. I was dating one before and we stopped talking...but now every women i look at now is like automatically inferior to her. Will i eventually get over it?

I wish I could just fall asleep forever.

I wish I didn't have to get electroconvulsive therapy done against my will. I just keep coughing up bloody mucus from the anesthesia.

I don't want to end up getting institutionalized because nothing is helping at all for my depression (medication, therapy, etc.).

I wish I was never born.

>>18507409
You can tell them, just you might have to wait.

>>18507432
>but now every women i look at now is like automatically inferior to her. Will i eventually get over it?

Oh boy do I know that feel. Hang in there, anon. I know we'll make it.

Why am I so lucky but feel worse than I should? Great parents, great siblings, great friends. Sure there's a little social awkwardness and a major which might not result in a job but that's hardly worth this feeling of dread and nervousness I get at random times of the day. My mistakes that I made in conversations and relationships flash in front of me and make me tense up and call myself an idiot, despite those people probably not knowing who I am even. It just doesn't stop and I keep adding more no matter how much I try to prevent it. Then I feel guilty because i'm in such a great home and i'm so lucky but I can't appreciate it. I can deal with most intrusive thoughts but these are really bad.

>>18507459
yea i'm having a hard time right now...i thought if i found someone else it be easier...but right now its just not working. I start work in 2 weeks so hopefully that will keep my mind off things.

First time I asked a girl out on a date in 1.5 years and I get ghosted. Maybe it's my fault because I only met her yesterday via mutual friends but I thought she was attracted to me because she was biting her lip, touching me a lot and staring at me. Oh well, at least I tried.

You're the only girl I could see myself growing old & happy with

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>>18507450
Could I ask of you a suggestion then?

Does this sound in anyway negative?
"I will leave you with this. I will calm down however I can. Continue dealing with your life, it's important and I can see how much you are trying to piece thing together. As for me, I will wait for your answer, whatever it may be. Take care, and I am here if you need anything from me."


If it doesn't work out. I guess I can at least say I tried.

I shut down facebook trying to find friends by email or phone number, and people being able to search me using those things... its still suggesting people from my phone contacts... which means it's likely suggesting me to anyone with my number still in their phone.

this is a problem, and I'd like facebook to stop before it causes me problems. and if turning off those functions doesn't actually stop them, what certainty do I have about location functions being inaccessible to others I'd rather not have knowing where I am?

I want to sleep with a married woman and she wants to sleep with me....

I must resist this degeneracy. But fuck, when will I find happiness.
Tuck me in this sadness blanket and set me on fire you cunts I've had enough!

>>18503644
I have someone who I really like maybe even love but I've never said anything about it to her

yeah just some more cliche love problems I guess

I don't think so

I will ever improve in life

I hope I vanish

Hey if anyone wants to kinda gimme some advice I'd appreciate it

>I was getting back together with an ex of mine
>only broken up for like a month
>was still in love
>we took each other's virginities when we dated
>so when we got back together we did stuff again
>it would start by me trying to finger her and her moving my hand away
>this would happen for a little till we would start doing shit
>didn't think anything of it
>she texted me one night told me she was sick of being used and ended it
This might be a good time to mention she was super depressed like would rarely eat and I just wanted her to be happy
>so I felt so horrible I never used her but she thought I did
>I apologized told her I never meant to to it and I was sorry
>she ghosted tf out of me
>talked to her in person once
>said I put her in therapy and that she couldn't have anything close to a relationship
>later that week she got a new bf
>she would never put pics of her and i together on social media but she would put a ton with her and her new guy
>feels bad
>she also thought I tried to manipulate her friends because I went to a friend of both of ours when I was sad about the break up

Everyone says she's crazy for doing this I just don't know

Part of me wants her back though I have no idea how I'd do this

The only reason I ever ask if you want to hang out sometime or grab a drink is because I know you will freak and not talk to me for weeks after politely stating you would like that...

Block me...

>>18507740
That won't get you happiness. If that is what you are searching for and not just getting your dick wet, don't do it.
Find a way to reject her. You already know she's whore. Don't do it.

>>18507971
No. I still love you. I know you want all this to end the easy way. Just block you, so you never have to tell me the truth.
You have to be honest. I will be here until you tell me the truth. This isn't easy on both of us. Pull the trigger, or stop acting this way.

I'm scared of whats happening.

>>18508016
You're not the person I was writing to...

I've had so much mood whiplash today
I started out in a complete pit of despair.I have been since last week.
I thought that the thing I applied to had rejected me and succeeding there was such a fundamental part of my future plans that not getting it really ruined me.

But I go out today to check up on my status and they tell me everything is green and the selection board is meeting next week. And they still have plenty of slots left.

The last few days I tore down everything related to that prospect. I thought I was done for good there. I had just started to put together pieces of a new life when I learned today that I didn't have to after all.

Now I'm wary about feeling hope again. I just want to get it

>>18508053
>Why? So you can reject me?
Why? Because I fucked up? I broke under the stress, it wasn't easy after everything that happened. I wish I was stronger.
It wasn't easy. Not like you think it was.

>>18508076
You are not my person, they don't like me... much less love me

>>18507971
No, you unblock me.

>>18508110
I haven't blocked my person, wtf?

>>18505773
How much is to much?
When can show that side of myself?

All my ex's promises to change came after me already having left, and it pissed me off to no end. Its not like I didnt voice my concerns before that, it just always fell to deaf ears, because it was easier for him to knowingly let me stay unhappy than it was for him to even try make adjustments. And he didn't promise to change until it affected his happiness too, via me leaving.

That was just, in the end, unforgivable to me. Even if it all changed from then on, which he tried to show me, it was just way too much resentment and hurt to mend. I did not want to be spending the rest of my life catering to someone who was so okay with the idea of me being uncomfortable and unhappy due to his lack of care.

so yeah if you're reading this THAT'S why i'm so angry and always will be

>>18508257
If I were you Id drop the hate. Some people don't know how important it is to change until they lose everything. Especially if the change is hard to do. Depends what he did too I suppose. If he beat you then obviously the hate is justified.

M

I hope you comeback to me one day again, even if all I am to you is a bestfriend and nothing more. Everyday I check my phone hoping for a text from you, I constantly wake up whenever I sleep just to check my phone hoping I see a text from you. All I wanted was to be looked at more than a friend, you told me I was someone you never wanted to let go ever. So why wasn't I good enough for you to at least give a relationship a chance? Whenever we started talking again earlier this year, you told me how your friends were telling you how much happier you looked now compared to before. Right now I'm a complete mess, I wish I wasn't but I feel so empty without you. I hope you're fine yourself.

I hope one day we can talk once again...

A.

I love you more than anyone.

>>18507971
I'd like to let you squirm in agony knowing I'm not doing shit to you as you aren't to me.

It's fucking hilariously delicious schadenfreude for me. Enjoy not doing shit again as I practically ignore your existence online. I mean, you can block me, but you won't.

Besides, we blocked each other IRL technically. What's the point of being a fucking baby about it? lmao.

>>18508295
You're not the person i was addressing either.

>>18508301
It's still good to let what venom I had left for the day out tbqhwy.

Pleasure was all mine, ma'am.

When you're socially inept, a stranger is just someone who doesn't hate you yet.

>>18508306
Just in case, you know I love you, right?

>>18508316
...And you're the same anon I was talking to?
Wait, matter of fact, what friggin' gender are you?
heck.

>>18508324
Female

>>18508257
Have you told him all this directly?

Also when you say > Its not like I didnt voice my concerns before that
Did you actually do that? A lot of people tend to say they talked about it when it was only in passing or a mention.
Did you actually sit down him and talk to him about your concerns? Or did you only whisper them instead of speaking with importance?

You are obviously still hurt, meaning he means something to you. Yet, you don't seem willing to to see beyond your own feelings. Even in relationships we tend to make the mistake of seeing only the face they show us. See them only as we care to see them. We tend to forget that they have their own issues and problems to deal with. We tend to forget that we too can add stress to them. We become so absorbed in the relationship that every word becomes a dagger to us.

When we want others to change, we don't see it from their eyes. What seems easy to you maybe almost impossible to them. We don't think the same, or have the same process of thinking.

As mentioned above, we can also become so absorbed in the relationship that you become blind to the people involved. That it takes losing that person to finally be able to see what was wrong. Some problems you can fix from inside, others may require detachment.

If this does make you so angry, then what do you have to lose by telling this person directly. Holding on your anger will not serve and in the end, when you finally push this person far away enough and the anger fades, you come to regret it. A feeling that no one should experience, because then you have no return.

Separate yourself from your feelings, and try to look at your situation from a 3rd person's eyes. Would you see your current state the same? If you could see through his, would you see it the same?

Sometimes we become so engrossed in ourselves that we forget the people closest to us may be lost in themselves.
>>18508271
Unless this. If he physically beat you, that's justified.

>>18508326
...C?

>>18508332
No

>>18508336
WHEW, then I'm glad to have vented all my shit without her knowing.

Still, sorry for your loss to whoever you were looking for.

>>18508343
Thank you, chin up.

>>18508257
What did he do that you sound like you still want him, but sound bitchy as fuck?

>>18506325
I heavily agree with this statement.
It's very important to see rejection as a compatibility issue and not a problem issue
Nothing is wrong with you, they are just not a fit for you.

>>18508372
So his mistake was being your friend?

>>18508357
Hope you don't mind I ask, but if you're not C, then what is your initial?

>>18508257
Seconding >>18508362

You sound unreasonably bitter over what sounds like a human mistake.

>>18508403
V

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I'm stuck in a really shitty job. I work as a dishwasher at a restaurant, and the owner is away on vacation, so her daughter, who will be inheriting the restaurant anyway, was left in charge. For the longest time, she was really nice to me. But a few weeks ago, one of my co-workers took a weekend off, and I had to do my job and hers, without knowing what the fuck I was doing. Needless to say, I fucked up a lot. My boss was furious with me, and I was absolutely terrified. Every time I spilled something, or made a mistake, or got in the way, I'd incur her wrath, and even now, she still doesn't like me. I don't know why, but the thought of going back there and making one more small mistake to piss her off is causing me so much stress and anxiety. I can't handle it. I don't know what to do. I want to just quit, but I don't know anyone nearby that could be hiring. I know my fears are irrational, but I'm still scared. Worst of all, my family is leaving state for two weeks, and I'll be totally alone. Work will be my only human contact for that time, and my boss, who was formerly my friend, is going to make that time a living hell.

Please, I don't know what to do. I go back into work tomorrow and I'm scared shitless. I can't fuck up anymore, but I just know that I will. I always do.

>>18508479
Relax anon and try to put your problems into perspective. Your co-worker is back right? so you can focus on your own job now and just take your time.
Worst case scenario is some bitch working in a kitchen yells at you and I doubt you're going to get fired because you obviously care about your position enough to take it home with you. In the meantime look around for something thats not run by a cunt, you can do this, hang in there.

>>18508460
Interesting, I know a V, but this V is pretty much a caramel goddess. Unlike C, I got no qualms with her and pretty much fucking admire her a lot.

It's just that she looks like she'll kill me if I breathe the wrong way, yet she's cordial as hell. Not to mention she looks like she has her shit together all around.

You're probably not her, but let me say all Vs in my world are pretty great.

>>18508257
What did he do?
Maybe you're overreacting?

It seems like you have unresolved feelings, and maybe that causes you feel this way.

>very shy and introverted
>still made friends very easily in school and got along with everyone
>finished college and got a full time job
>gradually lost all my friends when they went their separate ways
I'm so lonely.
I've found so many suggestions of things to do to meet people, but I can't bring myself to do any of them.

>>18508601
You need to stop living with the idea of finding people. Walk your path and they will come along.

>>18508110
No :)

I know I should I think you're not interested and all that. But when you just unfriend me out of the blue, go radio silent on all my friends, even to family and they say just before all this you might have started hanging out with a bad crowd. It's obvious you're going through some shit. I offer to help you, I ask you what's wrong on Messenger and your Email but you never answer. We never dated, fuck I never had the chance to tell you I liked you. But I still care for you, I want to have at least the chance, I don't want to end up knowing you OD'd or some shit. You still got your job at least, you still showed up for your Dad on Father's Day so you're not completely losing it. Just why won't you just talk to me? I mean I can understand getting into it with family, close friends and all that. But we were just casual friends, though you might have gotten the hint I was working my way up. Why cut me off like this though? Why make me suspicious as fuck? Do you want me to just show up at work and ask, tell you how I feel face to face? Even though they told me you just got a new boyfriend just before all this shit went down. I just don't know. I'm lost, girl. Just fucking lost.

>>18508547
lol well I am a caramel goddess so that part is right

>>18508295
Take your acne scar havin' back straight to >>>/pol/ along with ya fuckin neck cyst. Fuckin pussy has to talk shit on 4chan.

>>18508620
>Walk your path and they will come along
I don't think they will.
My current path consists of working and spending the rest of my day alone in my apartment doing solitary hobbies (video games, guitar, reading, etc).

I feel like I NEED to change something, otherwise I'll spend the rest of my life being miserable and depressed.

>will be senior in college next year at prestigious university
>chem eng major, c.s. minor
>all previous experience & during-semester job are I.T. related, like support
>this summer finally get chem eng job
>kind of hate it, it's not really engineering (chem research lab bitch duty) but would most likely have to do that for a while before doing engineering post-grad
>want to pivot completely to IT
>have general high level of tech knowledge and good at things like repair, but nothing specific to look for jobs in
>probably have to follow meme job listings like "we want the engineering mindset!"
>considering trying to get additional campus job at networks ops center on top of help desk role
>too late to really change majors which is fine, but will be demotivating this year during eng. classes
my mom pretty much helps out kids like me for a living, so i'm already getting advice from her, but she isn't at all in the tech field.
was just curious if anyone here had any suggestions.
was considering trying to get a certification or two (i got CompTIA A+ in high school, super easy but expired by now)

Fuck modern edge-lord proto commie panty wastes.

>>18508657
Obviously solitary activities won't get you around people, but that's just it. You need to be fine with being alone. It's hard to get to know someone new; let alone keep them around because the average person is already settled within their own life. People have limited time and a routine their committed to.

You sound fine as is. Loneliness can feel suffocating, but you should think about changing the way you want to have people in your life.

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Please, let me die already.

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I accepted that I was total failure. That I was scum and worth nothing.
I had my cry and my day of staying in my boxers and doing nothing.

Suddenly I find out I may not be scum after all. In fact, I may actually be somebody.
I'm really happy now.
But I still got inertia from feeling like shit.
Overall, still happy though?

>Sleep with my window open because my AC is broken and will remain so until I hit the lotteru
>Happy sociable young people, probably my age, see it perfectly fit to chat and make noise in the street until the early hours
It's the little things that drive you mad

The silver living to having depression for me is that I haven't really experienced life yet. It hit me when I was around 15 years old, and has slowly increased in severity so that now I can no longer enjoy anything or feel emotions properly. While this is no doubt horrible, there's also a really nice side to this: I haven't actually experienced life yet. My childhood sucked because I was an obese shut-in. My early teenage years were decent, but I hadn't properly come into my own. Now? I've lost all the weight, I have an idea of my interests, a little bit of my values, and know of my goals. If I can just see a doctor and get this treated, I'll finally be living the life I never got to.

I mean, honestly, how can you get upset when there's the potential to feel something? Holy fuck, being in this state for so long has been like living in another world. There is no love, no pleasure from conversation, no feelings of importance or meaning, absolutely nothing. Hell, I'll concede that the pleasures might be short-lived and difficult to obtain, but the fact that they exist and can actually be obtained is amazing. I no longer fear old age, actually, because I know exactly what it feels like.

This is just a temporary lull in my state of mediocrity, and I'll go back to hating my job and sleeping away all my free time shortly, but I really cannot wait to see what life's actually like.

what am I doing? what am I doing? what am I doing? she has a bf but I can't stop talking to her with intent and then walking away smiling. and she does too.

ohhhfuckwhatamidoing. I don't want to be that guy. I swore I'd never be that guy. the only option I see is to start e-dating immediately and go in a completely different direction. I can't be that guy. I'd never forgive myself. things as they are don't lead good places even if things feel good.

My dad cranked my life difficulty up to hard and I don't know how to deal with being skillless at the age of 24

thought I'd be some whiz kid at history going into college that'd be a natural at history writing or whatever but turns out nope I'm just a dipshit next to professors and that's admittedly kind of not what I thought college would be at all while being a slacker in high school alienating myself further from social things like god damn I let myself get utterly and entirely fucked and people I interact with online I think 100% outside one dude have insinuated I have brain problems and I fucking hate it and want to just check out and play video games all day working only enough to suppliment that but woops got a brother that needs expensive seizure medication, can't well just leave his unfortunately literal manchild self alone, nevermind that my mother and both grandmothers are still alive to be disappointed in me/grieve deeply if I just let myself go instead of fighting some illness or whatever like I can't even forego cancer treatment because I'd be leaving my older may as well be a kid brother alone in this world and it fucking kills me thinking I may actually resent someone that's the most innocent god damned person under this roof even though he was always a fucking asshole to me anyway

I hope you didn't read any of this shit because I am a giant whiny bitch that has it potential easier than I don't wanna know how many people that could do a shit ton more than me in my own shoes within a god damn week

I'm filled to the brim with sexual frustration because getting off is damn near impossible.
With some work and a vibrator, I can squeeze out a weak orgasm but it's never satisfying.
I try meeting guys in the hopes that maybe I'll find one of those "sex gods" who knows exactly what hes doing but damn. I have never had a good physical experience with another human being.
It's a hell of a lot more emotionally satisfying, but I can't say I've ever felt physically good while going at it. It's usually just been unpleasant physically.

But I love the feeling of being with someone else. I always feel lonely and stupid masturbating. I can never seem to have both.

>>18508760
Only advice I know is to wear socks and stretch your legs when you're about to cum.

>>18508752

Don't ever sleep with her until she dumps him. But the next time you see her, bring up the fact that you're not comfortable with interfering with her current relationship, and chat with her about it. Ask how long they've been together, if it's just a casual fling, she's probably just going to dump the guy eventually anyway so it's "generally' alright to show you're a better guy for her. But only if she's willing to dump him first before taking it any further. if it's been going on for years and it's emotional, then stay away. You don't need that on your conscious.

>>18508776
>Socks.
Never heard that one. Whats the logic on it?

>Stretch legs
Doing that. So fucking hard I've pulled muscles sometimes, which then kills all sexual pleasure unfortunately. Thats how I can sometimes squeeze out the shit orgasms.

Though I swear once I was really trying to force one out and I pulled a muscle in my ass so bad I almost went to the ER over it because I couldn't even walk for 4 hours and saw stars when it initially happened it hurt so bad.

>>18508785
>Never heard that one. Whats the logic on it?
No idea
But there's apparently a study out there that say that women cum more when they have socks on.
Maybe it's just correlative, but maybe it's not.
Give it a shot why not

>>18508808
Huh. googling it seems like it's something to do with the warmth. Weird, guess its worth a shot.

Time to rev up old buzzy and get me some tubesocks.

>>18508760
Hitachi Wand.

Want to try prostate massage. Anyone have experience?

>>18508832
I've had about 40 toys. Hitachi was one of them.
It's lowest speed was like a jackhammer on my pussy and I fucking hated it and myself for blowing that much money on a toy I can never use. Worst purchase I ever made t b h.

>>18503644
Im killing myself with alcohol. When i stop i withdrawal pretty bad. Im also addicted ti sex slept with 3 people in the laat 3 days. Somehow kept a job. I hate mt life

>>18508848
I'm an alchy too.
Get yourself together
At least make pretend like I do that we can type and act normally

Simply say the word, and I shall be yours.

You've said it before, but so long ago. Say it once more, and let's make it so. Caged words long to be set free, and passions under the surface dance and sing, shouting and screaming to be heard.

Beloved, just say the word.

I've said it myself, recently as well. Do you not see that the waves of time and silence cannot silence me? That legions would fail to extinguish my heart's flame, burdened by madness that screams only your name?

It burns even my soul.

It burns and conspires to swallow me whole, pressed in tandem with nothings more sweet than drops of dew in dry desert heat, tracing a trail for none to construe, save all my trails to lead back to you.

Travail to traverse when you're out of sight, though hope can travel with minimal light, devoid of sight but taking the night as the stars bid adieu, saving all of their brilliance for you.

>>18508846
>hitachi don't work
Jeez
I mean, it's fucking great, and you don't like a vibe on your clit?
Try rubbing hard till an auto-rub is better?

Maybe you got vagismus or "I hate genital stimulation" or whatever it's called
Maybe fate said "Thou shalt not ever enjoy crotch shit"

>>18508859
My problem is a drink every night then i binge the binging is whats fucking up my life you cant even pretend at rhag point

>>18503644
>4'3
>4.5" peen
>social retarded
I am so alone. i want a gf kids, so much it hurts me. I was just born to be alone though. My genetics have decided this for me. are some people born to be alone? should I just accept this? or try going out there

I'm bumping >>18503867 AGAIN. Please reply.

>>18508870
I drink every other night.
It keeps me stable and for the time being, not dying.

Don't be a sloppy drunk
It disgraces you.
You're scum regardless. But at least pretend not to be.

>>18508866
I like vibration, I just need something more akin to a cell phone or ps4 controller level vibration. But since I am an extreme minority on this, no toy maker sells such a vibrator with that low of vibrations.

I seriously search for toys with bad reviews on amazon for this reason. If it's got 1 star it's usually because it wasn't strong enough for the average pussy.
Those are the vibrators I buy. They tend to be pretty cheap and faulty though, many I've bought were just flat out broken on arrival. But at least they're usually like 10 bucks max.

I got a sweet toy thats been holding out pretty good for me if I put half dead batteries in it. It's just a bitch to try and find half dead batteries all the damn time (or just leave it running to run the batteries low while I go to class and assure my roommate the weird sound coming from my room while I was gone was nothing to be concerned about.)

>>18508894
Maybe just get someone to rub your clit for you?
Someone to tell "Slower"?

>>18508876
Lad, if it feels that bad, you may need to walk away. Some girls won't love you no matter what things you say.

>>18508904
Yeah, that's probably part of it. I'm not normally with anyone of significance since I'm in my early 20's and nobody seems to be interested in doing anything for more than a week tops before moving on, so it's usually kinda awkward to tell them "slower" about 6 times until they're basically barely moving at all.
Think it kills the mood for them, I'm sure it's boring on the other end, and since I'm nothing more than a quickie to them my pleasure is just simply not /that/ important. Like not to say they're selfish lovers, it's just that you're only gonna go so far out of your way for a stranger you have no strong feeling or attraction for.
>Get a bf
would if I could, been searching for that sort of thing for 7 years with no luck.

>>18508633
bumpin

>>18508926
>would if I could, been searching for that sort of thing for 7 years with no luck.
So say we all
At least you can identify what your problem is

Until then, Godspeed.

>>18508879
I just want to stop i dont kniw how. Ive gotten to thw point withdrawal is unbearable and scary

>>18508937
Like I have much faith a bf will solve that problem.
I'm sure even if he loved me that would be very boring to him too, sitting there for an hour barely moving and having me jerk around when he gets even a tiny bit too fast or hard.

>>18507248
>>18507309
No. It's a guy's name.

>>18508926
>Think it kills the mood for them, I'm sure it's boring on the other end
>tfw I would kill for some instruction
What's the fun if you don't get to hear the moans and see that look when a woman's eyes gloss over with pleasure?

That's some lame shit

>>18508940
Step by step mate
I know the hallucinations
I've dealt with them before
Scare the FUCK out of me.

You just gotta start with one day. Just one day sober.
It'll hurt.
Drink lots of elctrolytes and asprin and shit

It's like jogging. Gotta go one day to the next. A little bit each time.

I have two things that help me
The gym and books
The gym helps me the day after the day I feel hungover. So I don't feel bored.
Books help me every night I'm sober. So I don't feel bored.

Step by step
You can do it

>>18508942
>having me jerk around when he gets even a tiny bit too fast or hard.
Guys love that shit
It makes them feel like they have power over your pleasure
That makes them very hard.

Ultimately, don't worry about it.

>>18508945
Eh, maybe its because I've never really had one but those porn like exaggerated moves don't seem to be real realistic to me.
I mean seriously, imagine it's more like you're just resting your finger on her clit than rubbing or moving at all just so that she won't feel so overwhelmed it hurts.

N,
I hope that all is well. Know that I wish things had happened differently, that I always will.

>>18508956
Nah, I don't mean porn moves.
Just getting told where to hit and how to do so.
Instruction is good, at least I see it that way.
What a better way to learn your partner's body than with them telling you?

>>18508848
>>18508859
>>18508870
>>18508879
>>18508940
>>18508951
Last year I was posting about my alcoholism in these threads. One day I decided to stop. Every day, I would check in here and post how many hours it had been since my last drink and how I was feeling. Anon always told me "good job, keep going, you can do it." After a few days, the pain subsided. After a week or two, the anxiety went down. After a month, I felt normal. After three months, I never had the desire to get sloshed anymore.

You can do it, anon.

>>18508955
I was not referring to jerking around in pleasure, but in pain. Speed up just a tiny bit, feels like you lit my clit on fire and I'm jerking to escape your touch, not because I love it.

While I'm happy that would turn you on, doesn't solve my problem very well. I'm back to square one of putting on a show even though it pains me so I can get the emotional gratification but not the physical.

>>18508964
Idk, I'd still think itd be boring. Like if I were with a dude, and he told me specifically "just grab and hold my dick. Don't really move or anything, just lightly grab it and do nothing else"
I'd get bored pretty fast.

>>18508974
Here's a revolutionary thought, tell him what makes you feel physical pleasure?
You've said you can't cum.
That's ok
Start with the basics
Tell him to touch your clit very slowly
Enforce it
While you have his dick in your hand, he'll listen to pretty much anything

You ain't broken, btw.
Everyone has their own thing to get off.
I mean some people get off on feet.
Think about that.

Why do I end up always so sad for no reason? One second I'm happy and the next I'm wanting to cry about anything and everything. I've tried my best to avoid others whenever I'm feeling like this since every time someone tries to help me whenever I'm feeling sad I push them away or do something stupid and end up never seeing them again because of it. Does anyone else feel the same way too?

>>18508991
yes. I have taken up the habit of fighting the feeling.telling myself that I'm not going to feel that way. and just generic distraction.

>>18508991
Yeah I do
It's because my life isn't what I want it to be
I didn't succeed in my life's goals
I'm just... Here.
Yeah, I got money and a job. And I have fucking Ikea shit to come home to

But I'm not happy. When I feel deep down. I'm not happy. But I can't stop doing this life. Then where will I be?

>>18508981
Yeah but as I've been saying, what would make me feel physical pleasure (which is god knows what) would likely be extremely boring to him. Hed be down there texting probably after the first hour while I'm still trying to avoid the sensation of pain should he ever budge an inch.
I'd be a charity case more than anything, no guy is gonna want that. No guy is that patient, no love is that strong.

and I will admit, the idea of having to walk a guy through sex to that extreme degree of detail sounds very cringy and soul shatteringly embarrassing to me. Not that I wouldn't try it anyway if given the opportunity, I'd just be concerned about staying wet while I'm overcome with shame and embarrassment going into that much detail.
I mean that's not normal, sex isn't rocket science. It's not supposed to require that much fucking yapping. So I'd say yes, there is something wrong with me if I have to talk non stop the whole experience just to not feel burning pain.

>>18508972
How much did you drink daily? My biggest fear is the detox im about 8-10 shots of bacardi i night for 3 years

I just want to feel loved.

>>18509003
Dude, a guy can cum and fall asleep after a brief hand job.
I mean shit, it's a pretty unequal distribution of effort
Even just letting him rut in your vag means he's happy.

I'm not devaluing your efforts to orgasm. That's really fucking important. No joke.
Everyone should cum whenever they want to.

But secluding yourself doesn't need to be part of that parcel.

It can be a team project. Or not, I mean, you can get a guy off with a 90 second handjob. Faster if you just use your mouth a bit.

You ain't broken. You're just exploring yourself. You can find just the right buttons to press.
Doesn't mean you need to do it alone.
So long as you can give a handjob ,you can give a few weeks of dedicated dicking.

In my personal experience, it feels much better when someone else is doing it.

>>18509017
Me too. I'll love you anon, if you love me back.

>>18509017
Yep.
Welcome to life.
We're all alone together

>>18508998
I feel the exact same way honestly. It's just become so badly now that I can't just ignore it like I used to a few years back. I hate hate HATE feeling like this and I would give anything to get rid of this feeling. Please...it's driving me insane...

>>18508999
For me it's not really this but most of what you're saying is what I'm worried about. I'm going to go to college and get a career that I want but I'm not sure what I could do if I go to college. I'm stuck between two careers and I can't decide in which one I want to choose. Mainly though it could be these reasons why I'm feeling like this but I'm more worried about why I'm feeling this way and what I can do to stop it

>>18506175
I feel the same sometimes dude. My ex hasn't found a new guy yet as far as I'm aware, but I feel like she easily could. The reasons she broke up with me made me realize I have a lot of personal work to do, but I don't know how long I can't wait until seeing her with somebody else would just kill me inside. I'm going out with friends and having fun too but it just doesn't get rid of that constant pain of missing her. Love is a bitch. I just want another girl to take my mind off of her. But then I'd feel guilty about moving on. Why are humans so stupid about things like that?

>>18508962
Why are you bothering? You were such an asshole to me man. you made the choice to be a faggot and throw everything away.

I'm alone guys.
I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life.

And I think I'm ok with it.
I think I chose this life.

I'm going to die alone.
We all do, don't we?
I'm ok.

Mental illness is a meme. They are literally based on social normality. As long as I or you don't say or act on anything that our skewered conscious' think of, we are free to spread our genes into the next generation and evolve into darker creatures... I have to live the rest of my life with these "wrong" thoughts and desires but in reality are they actually mine or are they a construct of society. If no one was here to judge, including my own ego, would my illnesses still weigh so heavily on me?

>>18509162
>we are free to spread our genes
Defeated your whole post

>>18508638
Lovely!
Well, I call her a caramel goddess, but she's small, reaching only up to my shoulders. But goddamn, her features (especially her face and bod) are what bring out her goddess qualities. She looks like a tanned Cleopatra.

If I were audacious, I'd gf her in a heartbeat.

You're a dumbass and i hate you. You know what no one wants to hear when they're opening up to you about someone being an ass to them? to fucking not start shit and try to see their side. You're the one who should be on my side so thanks for nothing asshole.

I still don't understand why you're so determined to withhold any encouragement like you're afraid that being supportive and throwing the ocasional praise will somehow inflate my ego?? I don't fucking have any.

If you genuinely believe that being distant and showing little to no approval will motivate me then you're more dense than i ever imagined.

And I could just accept you're another arrogant and cold asshole if i didn't see you occasionally be attentive of other people's feelings and showing support. It's like with others you're intent on letting them know they're capable of anything whereas my experience is that you're the first one to tell me i can't do it and don't even look my way if you're going to throw me under the bus. You're so determined to be that way, I don't understand what i ever did to motivate that treatment from you.

I know that it's sad that it was my low self esteem and loneliness that made me have some respect for you but all you'll get from here on out is the same disdain you have thrown my way.

And this is why i'm angry, i thought there was some mutual respect going on, i didn't realise you thought this lowly of me.

I almost regret opening up to you but at least now i know what that's like and that you're not worth it.

You're still a piece of shit for shitting on my self esteem for no reason.

H,

I love you so fucking much. You're my only social contact outside of my family that doesn't hate me. Hanging out with you on the bus and in my room were the best fucking times ever. Now life is shit and I wanna die. Even though you only moved a town over it feels like I'll never see you in person again.

>>18509544
I dunno, having a fat fuck of a boss breathing down your neck as he admires and orbits your ass should've been able to do that for you.

Funny thing is I don't remember really praising you for shit. I just say something about your ridiculous hair color selections and move the fuck on. I don't really praise you outside of that. When you were Ronald McDonald, I was laughing my ass off at you. I always came home at night fucking giggling myself to sleep at that point. This cheered me up quite a bit during my early days.

But anyway, fact is I do this to others because they don't seem dead inside. The one guy that does is only because his parents neglected him, more than likely. Hence, he's a furry-goth as well. Either way, this fucker even brings some life back to compensate.
You also never talk to my fellas or I, but you enjoy fucking around with 2 bigger guys here. This breeds resentment to me.

Keep playing that disdain card. It's not like you're going to be here for long.

To be fair, I did think a bit about you being the odd side of my coin. We're like opposite ends. This went for a while. At that point, I actually did respect you. Almost made me tip my own cowboy hat.

This isn't shitting on your self esteem. This is just silence. Cold, dark, silence. You played this first, I'm just playing along. Finish if you want, but until that day, we'll just keep it going.

If you guys are still really wondering why I haven't killed myself yet.

I really like painting. and drugs. I like to take drugs and paint. It's pretty much what I live for.

And maybe I'm not the same
As everyone else around me
Maybe I'm not to blame
For all of the pain I left behind me

I want to be a singer in a rock n roll band.

>>18508862
This is beautiful anon. Wish I had propelled words like this out of my mouth before my heart spark married and had kids with the hardworking feminist.

There are so many activities I'd like to do and events I'd like to go to but I don't have any friends and I'm scared of being by myself.

File: 1159498002985.jpg (343KB, 1200x1596px) Image search: [Google]

343KB, 1200x1596px

I want to look like this already. I want that exact body. I would fucking kill a man to look this way.

You promised me it was going to happen. But when? When...

I want it. I want it NOW.

PLEASEEEEEEE

let me start my new life already. Why are you torturing me?

Why do people that hate trump do nothing but watch or read about him?

WHY?

Christ I want this fucking shit to end.

>>18510182
So they can have more things to whine about, obviously.

The other night I saw my best friend cry. I made her cry.
"It's like, I'm just watching my best friend die."
My God, it fucking killed me. I can't stand doing this to people but I can't eat because I'm too afraid to gain any weight. Even if it's not real; water weight seems just as scary.
I need to get myself to the hospital but I can't just leave work and I need to pay rent.


I've been secretly waiting for the day I fall over and go unconscious so I will be forced to go. I can't keep living this way. Why am I so fucked up? Why can't I just fucking stop? I don't want to get any thinner but I can't. Fucking. Stop.