AT A LOSS HERE

(2)

You put me in a room with my wife, and in fifteen minutes we'll be arguing when she decides there's something about the room she just CAN'T STAND.

She was medically diagnosed at 16 have a "mood disorder". Fast forward to a few months ago, when she got a DUI doing Heroin and Xanax. We lost EVERYTHING. Our townhouse apartment, our BRAND NEW Kia Soul that her grandmother bought, EVERYTHING. Now, remember that 2 bedroom I mentioned? We live BACK in that same complex now.

Because of her DUI, we don't have car insurance. 350$ a month. Right now, I'm not working. I quit the job I had so she could work the job SHE WANTED. Her schedule is so CRAZY that the only job I can think of with ANY flexibility may be FedEx or UPS as a package handler PART-TIME 20 hours a week. I interview there Wednesday.

Where we are now:

CONSTANTLY arguing DAILY. Screaming. Our son Liam may be EPILEPTIC, which adds MORE STRESS. Trump and his cronies are stressing us out, too, with his HEALTHCARE BILL. If it passes, and Liam has a pre-existing condition of EPILEPSY.. Then what?

I'm at a COMPLETE. LOSS. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Common theme I'm noticing.
>shoulda left her
>shouldve left her
>dunno why i didnt leave her
solution
Leave her now and start the healthy life that your child will crave when he looks at the other parents smiling with their kids.

Ask yourself what needs to change.
Then do it, NOW. Any more waiting is more pain for you and your kid.

If the light in your room goes out once a week, would you change it? Or think, ah its fine most of the time, no need.

Listen man, you gotta do some serious self evaluation and ask yourself, "What is the best choice?".

Only you know what it is in the end.

>>18499767

Well, with all of the "problems" I stated above that my son has, he needs both parents for stability. But, also, with all of the screaming... I dunno.

How is it that easy, though? How do I just leave her? I'm genuinely asking.

>>18499767
This, leave and do what you can to get your shit together without her, try to save your child. Appeal to her grandmother even, I'm sure she has an idea of how shit her grand daughter is. Do it so in the future you have a chance of giving your son a good father.

>>18499794

Her grandmother defends her at EVERY turn. Every time I even mention an argument, or her blowing up, her grandmother shrugs it off and acts like its MY fault.

>>18499783
You know whats wrong with yourself and your relationship, and you have the solution. Write it down if you have to. Dont take my advice blindly.

>>18499783
He doesn't need both parents for stability, he needs one stable parent or ANYTHING stable. Which is why some kids turn to self harm, drugs, etc. Those are always there. Always stable.

>>18499783
You dug yourself into a hole that took 6 years to dig. You can't just jump out. Arguments take two. The argument of the whole "I'm a reactionary person" may be valid, but knowing this about yourself should help you make different decisions.

I know you feel trapped. I know it feels impossible, and i know it isnt easy.

Sometimes the solution is venting so you can keep on trucking. Either way man, good luck, you got this, worst comes to worst you still have yourself.

>>18499851
Could you list a few things that ARE entirely your fault?

>>18499783
>he needs both parents for stability
ehhhhhh which stability can you two offer him? you are more stabil divorced

>>18499913

Yeah. I smoke a lot of pot which stresses my wife out. I'm not working, but that's because Liam isn't in daycare and my wife works a stupid schedule.

>>18499699
It's like you blame everything on her

>She got pregnant

Uh.... she can't get pregnant alone, she's not virgin Mary my friend

>She makes life worse

Uh... is she attached to glue to you?

>I threw a guitar at her, it was her fault. She made me do it

That's abusive behaviour. On your part.
Leave her. Stop blaming her (even if she is also at fault. At a large gigantic fault)
I'm not protecting her but you need to realize she is not the problem in your life. YOU are the problem, because you make your own actions take place in the form of what you choose to do


Fuck you. The kid won't be better with her. You seem to be better for the kid
Stop screaming. Stop arguing. Talk. Apologize for hitting her
And if talking doesn't solve things then leave her

>>18499975

I'm sorry I worded her pregnancy like that. : /

I never said she makes life worse, well, maybe I did. She does, though. With all her screaming. I also never said she MADE me throw the guitar. I take full responsibility. But, it was the only thing near me I could grab to get her away from me.

I try. I try. And I try some more.. to just talk to her.. but she doesn't. She always turns it around to be my fault.

My dude, it was over YEARS ago. You're beating a dead horse. A screaming dead horse.
It'll be better for your son if you take him and leave. (Legally of course.)

>>18500018
>A screaming dead horse.
Sorry but how would a dead horse be screaming

>>18500021

Here's the kicker:


My wife WANTS therapy. She BLAMES ME that she can't go get it. Her blaming me would be -- "Well, you never give me the time. We both always to sleep in, which is usually you sleeping in, and during the times when you would sleep in, that's the time I could go!"

Let me put this into perspective.

No one misunderstand. I do not want praise for doing what I have to do. For doing what I'm supposed to do. Which, right now, with her schedule being so crazy, and the only work I could get is WAREHOUSE work, which is not FLEXIBLE in their hours, (I could go go get a job in a warehouse tomorrow and start Monday. Have a check a week after that. 11/hr to start usually) Anyway -- Right now, I'm pretty much the "stay at home parent". I'm OK with that(not really, I hate not contributing),

But, that stresses her out too. Because, she does not get to see Liam as much as she wants. I quit a 12/hr job learning a trade (construction, water proofing(have experience in that already), masonry) which would have gone up SIGNIFICANTLY OVER TIME for a small family owned business so she could work this job.

So, nothing I do makes her happy. Even making her cum. Nothing makes her happy in the long-run. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Leave her, right? My problem? I need a job for that. Give me some job ideas, please.

>>18499783
You're unhappy, she's unhappy, she screams, you scream, you have no future in a relationship together. You're both no good for him and for each other. Suppose you'd separate, you could form a stable household alone or with a new girlfriend, maybe your now girlfriend could form the same. That gives you two outlooks on the future.

1.Right now if things stay the same your son's gonna be seriously fucked for life and you too and you already know that. This woman makes you unhappy and you make her unhappy.

2. You and your girl separate. You try your best to create a stable and respectable household. The emotional and material stability will give him a chance to develop into a more or less functioning human being. Maybe she'll create a stable and good household too, who knows. But one happy parent or two happy parents, even if separated would be better than two terribly unahppy parents living together