Any help besides therapy?

>>18499538
you need a good friend. i know how it feels, some people cant deal with some things/with their general life situation, sometimes. you need to bond to somebody who is willing to listen to you, but that somebody will most likely want to be treated with respect in return also. and it takes months and years.

short term solution is to talk to randoms on the internet i suppose.

>>18500015
I used to think I have friends like this, but ever since we both left school they became very distant and only got in touch with me when they needed something. When I wanted to talk to them, didn't even seem desperate or anything, I just get the "seen" and no response. Got a message later, unrelated of course, asking for something off of me. I've known him for about 7 years.
It made me realize how much people can change, how little they care about friendship and "unloading" on them feels like a bad idea, like they'll just look over it and make me feel vulnerable.

This site, some boards on this site anyway, are the only places that listen and help sadly, people used to be more open and helpful earlier in life, is that just the way it is? or did I just choose to be friends with some asshole people?

>>18500177
Sometimes you can burn out a friend if all you ever do is complain about your problems. They are helpless to solve them, you make them feel bad, and then they just need to move on to avoid the downer. I'm not saying that's you, but it happens.
Since you're going away to college this is a chance for a fresh start. Make new friends and don't burden them all the time with your problems. These are best addressed when the convos turn serious and the other person shares something first about themselves. Then you can open up some. I think a change of atmosphere, new friends and activities will be a huge help. Focus on the future and making it better. Nothing will change the past.

>>18500203
Its not that, we used to talk about stuff that bothers us, it was on both ends but that was in school days, recently he just started avoiding me/only spoke to me when he needed something. He's very submissive and whenever he gets a girl he's like that and I don't like when he does that so I don't really feel like talking to him either, its not like you can't be with a girl and have friends at the same time. Once the girl is out he comes back as if nothing happened. Other than him I don't really have anyone else to talk to since all other people I've known for only 2 years or so and barely see them at all, but yea I get what you mean, I try not to be a downer, thats why I'm here instead of talking to people irl, I would if I had people that are 'capable'.

Yea I think starting again in college in a new environment would be a good way to start again. I just don't want to seem like that depressed/weird guy on my first few days, just so people don't end up avoiding me from the start. I'm trying to see myself through other people's eyes for the time being, seems like others value me more than I value myself so I'm trying to figure out how that is. Thanks for the reply btw

>>18500265
>Yea I think starting again in college in a new environment would be a good way to start again.
nvm that line kek I'm just after a workout and wrote this without reading back. But yea, college seems like a good start, work my way up, play it safer and all that

>>18499538
I'm with you on the insecurities part. Almost everyday I spend hours in the mirror just counting my imperfections hating the skin and physical appearance I was born in. I cry about it sometimes but I never have the courage to tell people what's wrong and people just assume I'm mad or something. Can't hold relationships because of it either. Since you don't wanna have therapy, maybe buy a shit ton of self-help books?

>>18499538
>don't want therapy either
>doesn't feel nice to me

fuq you want then nigga
enjoy the way you is

>>18500300
Its not that, I feel like therapy in itself would make me feel insecure in its own right, like "I'm so fucked that I have to pay other people to make me feel better, thats low as fuck", I'd feel really bad, I know its their job but something about it doesn't feel like its for me, besides, I can't even afford it with college fees and ridiculous rent costs for college which I'm saving up for now.

>>18500288
It feels terrible, I think its because I'm looking into the mirror every day, if you see yourself for that long and examine each detail you're bound to see imperfections. I used to take pictures of myself to see if I like any angle of myself, it made me dislike me even more but recently I thought, "these are still images, nobody sees you like that" and then I thought of the people I knew all my life and I could not remember what their profiles look like, I could just remember their faces as a whole and it made me feel somewhat better. Its not an instant cure but it worked a bit, I focus on specific parts of myself and keep comparing my imperfections to others, but in the long run, I don't think it matters, people don't focus on others, I don't focus on others for that long to pick out every single thing about them.
I also don't look like my pictures for some reason, the girl I dated didn't look anything like her pictures either, she was like me in a lot of ways, she looked better irl and she told me I look better irl too. I don't know what to make of it but I feel like I'm making more and more sense out of it the more objectively I'm trying to look at it.

>maybe buy a shit ton of self-help books?
I have a hard time focusing on books, I keep losing track and I'm a slow reader, dyslexia maybe, but I'm just guessing at this point. Think books like that aren't an easy read too, but I might look into that, worth a try