Little to no perception of self

File: 1487909236613.jpg (279KB, 721x962px) Image search: [Google]

279KB, 721x962px

Hi, I'm a 19 y/o male, and in many areas, I have no clue where I lie on the spectrum in certain attributes, i.e. I have a very low perception of who I am and how others perceive me. Let me give a few examples
>If someone asked me if I thought I was ugly, or very good looking, I wouldn't lean at all one way or the other. I simply don't know.
>If someone asked me whether I thought others thought I was cool, or weird, I wouldn't be able to answer. This affects me in a lot of ways, such as: I want to join a fraternity, but I don't know if I'd be able to get in because I might not be outgoing enough, but on the other hand I might be perfect for a fraternity, I have no idea. I don't know if aiming for one of the more competitive ones would be unrealistic or easy for me.
>Intelligence. This is pretty much the only area where I know for certain I'm above average, but that's just because tests exist for this area. However, I don't know if I'm very smart, or just kind of above average.
This is a big issue in my life. If I knew where I stood in these areas, I could live my life accordingly.. it's very frustrating and frankly driving me crazy. I have no idea whether I'm a "weirdo", a chad, or somewhere inbetween. The only people I've talked about this with are my siblings and mother, but of course they are going to say I'm positive in all those areas (they wouldn't tell me otherwise).. so they aren't trustworthy in this regard. I feel like I need help.