Teaching my Kids to use Violence

>>18497332

how many months along is your wife?

"Never initiate unless they physically provoke you and harass you. Also, ALWAYS use self-defense."
That's what I'm going to tell my kids, and what I told my lil' brother

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>>18497332
I had a single mom (black) who taught me that i should be able to talk my way out of any fight. As a result, I was a miserable beta little shit until deep into my 20s.

Your kids are lucky to have a dad to teach them to stand up for themselves. Show them some very basic moves to avoid being mounted and such but notging too fancy.

>>18497332
no. you should probably teach them to kickbox or do jujitsu. those are some options for civilized people to gain confidence and self-defense skills. shaolin is cool too because there's some daoism/buddhism and most of the attacks are about defusing and ending conflicts.

if you want to teach your kid to street fight or fight in school and end up in the back of a cop car, by all means teach them to be degenerates to compensate for your misery tied to being a target of bullying.

the best way for them to avoid being bullied is not to be able to kick ass but to not make themselves targets. being willing to throw a punch turns off most bullies, but kicking the shit out of people just gets you expelled.

>>18497337
About 4 months

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>>18497388

maybe wait to see what your kid is like before deciding how to mould them. let them figureo ut life as they go and when they have an actual problem that is when you give them advice and direction. until a problem actually arises you're just arming a kid and teaching him to be ready to fight if anyone pisses him off basically.

as for sports, maybe wait to see what the kid wants to do. he might not want to do sports. if you want to force him you're able to, but i can tell ya it really made me hate my dad and did nothing to improve my life. even if you dont mind your kid hating you the sports arent necessarily going to help him unless he is in any way good at it.

i was awful at sports. just horrible coordination. just the worst. and it just resulted in me getting picked on by other brats in little league and then having cringy memories of me not being able to do anything right.

i prefer my mothers approach, which is if you want your kids to be productive, just insist on productivity in whatever form it takes. instead of saying 'you have to do a sport' make them do ANY extra curricular.

later when i finally found a sport i actually liked i went full force with it. i still sucked, but because iw asn't being forced to do it, it was fun. i ended up playing rugby at 17.

You should teach him to solve problems by his own if the ones supposed to solve it don't. Including kicking bullies ass if their teacher or school principal don't.

I was mildly bullied in school amd always took it to the school autorities attention, but it never solved anything. Only after that I started reacting. That's what seems the right way to me: you try the official ways first, if they don't solve it at least you covered your ass first

Put him in BJJ when he's the right age, that's the best self defense martial arts for kids imo, and if it's a good gym and teacher it's fairly educational too

>>18497332
Just send them to a martial arts class that teaches respect and shit

>>18497394
This is really good advice for me, thanks. I don't want my kid to hate me, but I want him to be strong. I started lifting at 16, but only because my friend showed me what to do and pressured me to go. If my kid doesn't start lifting around then I'm worried that he never will. I was weak as a kid and it really sucks.

I guess I'll ask him if he wants to do a sport or I'm just sign him up. If he likes it he can continue. I won't force him to do something he hates.

Thanks for telling me your experience, I want my kid to let sports improve his life, not ruin it. My mom signed me up for arts programs and stuff instead of sports and though it was fun, I always wanted to do sports and I felt like the fast that I didn't do sports or fitness, just arts and video games held me back a bit.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4_-2eREx5i-a2JITWpJWEhDQ3c

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4_-2eREx5i-NDZqa0VPZF9CM2s

Just have your kids use violence as a last resort

I reccomened checking out the handbook before reading the master course. Hope this helped.

>>18497413

everyones different, has different wants and needs. just remember that you can't exactly shape your kids. hes going to have an intrinsic sense of self, so even if you think you're doing something to improve him, like sports, it can just add to self loathing nad the like.

my father made me feel like a 'sissy' just because I wasn't very naturally good at sports, and sure you can improve with practice, but being forced to embarrass your self in front of a group of assholes isn't exactly conducive to improvement.

i think the best approach in anyones life is to let the kid try to feel out their own way and poke and prod them in the right direction when problems arise.

the best advice i can give, which is a bit tangential to the actual discussion, is to not yell at your kid for the first offense. I'd do something i didn't realize was bad or wrong, then my parents would yell at me, sometimes punish me further, and it was only AFTER that that I'd realize what I did was wrong. a LOT of kids in our generation had this kind of upbringing.

as a result we have a generation of kids who are afraid to do ANYTHING because even if we dont intend to do something wrong its apparently punishable and we are afraid to ask what is wrong because based on our parenting we are supposed to somehow magically know right from wrong before a concept appears before us.

all in all kids are just little adults. let them figure out what they like, then help them move towards it.

>>18497440
Nice to see your opinion

>>18497440
I agree with you all the way, I don't see myself yelling at my kid because I'm very calm and in control of my feelings. Only time I'd yell is maybe if I'm calling him down and he won't come or something, but easier said than done I guess.

I really want to be a good father so my children ends up strong, well-off and of good moral character above all else, but I guess I can't do everything for my kids since they'll have to learn on their own. Maybe my role in my son's life may work out naturally.

>>18497488

>maybe my role in my sons life may work out naturally

it likely will. even when were parents we still got full time jobs and the responsibilities of raising them that don't involve actual mentorship. i notice a lot of parents tend to be a bit more 'reactive' as parents these days, probably what lead to only using punishment as a learning tool.

nothing entirely wrong with reactive parenting, you just gotta make sure you don't over compensate when they do something wrong for the first time.

either way I wish you luck. you already sound like a better dad than my own father.

>>18497332
You should teach them to not respond to bait (bullying) instead.
Bullies are just real life shitposters. If you don't grab onto the hook they will cease because they get bored.

>>18497508
This.
>>18497494
Alright, thanks again for the great advice. I'll keep in mind the things you told me when raising my kids and maybe try a bit from your mother's approach to parenting on encouraging productivity in any form

>>18497394
>as for sports, maybe wait to see what the kid wants to do. he might not want to do sports. if you want to force him you're able to, but i can tell ya it really made me hate my dad and did nothing to improve my life. even if you dont mind your kid hating you the sports arent necessarily going to help him unless he is in any way good at it.
>i was awful at sports. just horrible coordination. just the worst. and it just resulted in me getting picked on by other brats in little league and then having cringy memories of me not being able to do anything right.

Good advice in your post, but holy shit anon are you me? I couldn't throw a football/baseball straight all the way up until 4 days ago. It lead me to hate the sport because the kids would just make fun of me. I actually learned just so I could teach my kid when the time comes.

As it turns out i got into boxing and found its my sport. I may not weave that well but I punch hard enough to make up for it.

>>18497413
Try a martial art. They teach respect and to not go around picking fights. It's good for a kid, I wanna do it for my boy but he's not old enough yet. i don't want him getting fucked with either but I also don't want him to take it as a green light to go pick on the weaker kid.

>>18497385
>you should probably teach them to kickbox or do jujitsu
Introduce him to both, let him pick which one he likes better or if he wants to do both.

>as for sports, maybe wait to see what the kid wants to do. he might not want to do sports. if you want to force him you're able to, but i can tell ya it really made me hate my dad and did nothing to improve my life. even if you dont mind your kid hating you the sports arent necessarily going to help him unless he is in any way good at it.
I don't see how this has to be an issue unless your father saw that you were a 10 year old weak video game nerd and made you join a sports team thinking it would magically change you.

>i prefer my mothers approach, which is if you want your kids to be productive, just insist on productivity in whatever form it takes. instead of saying 'you have to do a sport' make them do ANY extra curricular.
>extra curricular
You can "get them into sports" before they start (((school))). Better yet, homeschool them or send them to a private school that requires them to play a sport. I know of one in my area that does that.

Just take them to the park and play catch. Teach them to ride a bike. Swim at the pool. Kids naturally like playing outside.

So just spend a lot of time doing outdoor actvities and your kids won't be weak fat pieces of shit.

if your kids are strong they usually won't have to use violence in the first place

replying to >>18497394 starting at 2nd greentext

>>18497664
If you beat up your bullies, they win.

>>18497332
take him to an actual martial arts dojo, they'll teach him the appropriate places to use what he knows and the discipline needed.

>>18497332
Whatever bullies I had backed off as soon as I demonstrated I was willing to dish it back. Backhanded them in the nuts and stood there watching them writhe, joked about it with them as they recovered. Worked twice before puberty, might need something more sophisticated after jr high.

Probably more important to feed him healthy food, and keep him physically and socially active, with both boys and girls.

>>18497540

>are you me

probably. but yeah its kinda my point that we all suck at shit but are okay enough at other shit to enjoy em and being forced to do the bad shit doesn't make anyone happy, not even the parent, so just have fun and be productive.

thats all that matters in life, yeah?

Do it, if you don't teach them self defense they'll end up like one of my friends who could barely defend himself from 7 graders (he was in the 8th grade back then).

Have your kids run track. They'll be able to run away from most of their issues that way

Lmao put your kid in wrestling at a young age and no one will ever be able to fuck with them

>>18497332
just tell them not to throw the first punch, but make sure to throw the last and make the guy who started the fight pray that it ends sooner

I've used both violence and humor to stop bullies.

When I used humor I would actually gain a friend; with violence, the guy would just avoid and ignore me.

There is a time and place for both. School yard, I would say use humor and make em laff.

Out of school no one really bullies anyone, so if it does happen it could be serious like a mugging and if you have to fight back.

>>18499329
This.
Nobody picks on the kids that do wrestling.
And the Chads that will pick on him are going to get their shit pushed in because... well, your kid is just gonna suplex them across the room.

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>>18499791
Ju-jitsu works pretty well