Depression and GF

Uhh, she's not a great girl..

>>18494505
The meds are clearly fucking with your mind if you think you either do or should have any future with her. Dump her, get through the depression and off the meds, and lift iron the next time you need to cut.

>>18494505
you should probably dump her to fix yourself before she ruins you by cheating or monkey branching. either way imo you have insane amounts of baggage

Maybe she'll end up being better? What do you guys think?

>>18494534
Right? Or beat the shit out of a punching bag. I've never cut but sometimes when I'm upset or stressed enough I get the urge to hurt myself. I just hit a wall with my fist or my head though. Haha one time I head butt a door like 5 times in a row as hard as I could without causing damage (don't want to have to fix shit).
I think mine is more from anger though. When I get in a depressive mood/episode its more of suicidal ideation.

I've lived with suicidal ideations for the past year every day lol now it's just finally manageable

>>18494534
>need
Do you think she might get better with time or do you think i should end it

>>18494723
Nice
Doesn't shit get you down though? When shit gets me down the suicidal ideations are a little more frightening because they go a little further than normal.
i.e. "Fuck I'm a shit person, I should just die" or I just picture myself dying while I'm doing whatever I'm doing (driving is a common one) randomly
"I REALLY am a shit person,parent and daughter. I should just go right now and do it, it would end my suffering."
But then I think about how selfish and weak that is. Selfish because I have a kid who thinks the world of me and my family loves me. I have a bf who cares a ton, offing myself to end my pain would cause them even more pain than I was experiencing. Weak because I have handled these feelings for years now, and have experienced worse seasons in my life. Giving now would be the bitch thing to do.

So then I pray, I ask God to please end my life for me because I can't handle it but don't want to sudoku. And I do that for a while, then I realize that I have some purpose and that's why I haven't died in some freak accident or when I put myself in bad situations that could've gotten much worse.
Then I cry some more, ashamed of myself because I have once again stopped down that low.

It's a bad cycle, but I'm still here right?

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>>18494505
>Shes such a great girl

>A lot of people don’t judge me for my scars but for some reason my girlfriend does.

>She says she is embarrassed of me because of it and that she would rather have my arm amputated

>she makes me feel like absolute crap and makes me feel like im the one with the problem

>She's such a great girl
>Don't mention anything that makes her a great girl

Fish for other partners senpai and backburn her. From her perspective she is most likely just "settling" and you're probably "settling" for her because you're afraid of yourself and she's the only girl you know who will put out for sex.

>>18494658
My nigga. Last time I felt that way, I punched myself in the temple a few times. Hurt for a bit afterwards but my hair covered up any bruising. Found out my left is pretty weak.

Also grabbed my biceps as hard as I could, and that left bruises for over a week. Glad nobody asked about them.