wizardry

>>18494089
why do you think you're broken and need to be fixed? why do you want to fix it?

Are you not-so-good-looking and/or overweight?

Do you dress "weird" or act "funny" around those who are boyfriend material to you?

>>18494089
creeps/ex-cons can sense fear - that's the only reason they're interested in you, don't take it to heart

>>18494089
I was going to say therapy until I've read the last line

honestly, unless you have a really bad therapist, there won't be much better advice here...

Do you think losing your v-card might help?

>>18494089
Get in better shape, that's all you can really do. Get fairly lean, keep yourself clean and keep your skin healthy.

If you're in the UK I'd probably fug you so there's always that

>>18494103
This thread is worthless without pics posted to unseen dot cc

>>18494089
Try having sex, that should cure your virginity

Lose weight fatty.

It seems like your problem might be a lack of self esteem. You think you're unworthy, a waste of time. And honestly, it's pretty damn hard to get someone to see value in you when you won't even see value in yourself. This and your anxiety are making you sabotage yourself.

It's not a perfect example, but imagine if you're looking to purchase something, say food or a car, and the sales clerk says "oh you shouldn't buy this thing, it's total garbage and nobody likes it and it has nothing redeeming about it". How many people would you expect to buy it?

I'm not saying to lie to try to sell yourself or something, but you need more confidence. You need to find something in yourself that you deem valuable, and then give someone the chance to find that value. Confidence is attractive no matter what gender you are.

(and, as a footnote, predatory types of people tend to seek out those who aren't confident)

What is something about yourself that you like? Anything. Find as many things you like about yourself as you can.

Then, imagine what sort of person you want to be. How is that person different than you right now? How can you make yourself into a person that you are happy to be? What can you do, outside of a relationship, that will make you feel valued, worthy, and like you contribute something to the world?

Work on these aspects of yourself. Focus on self-confidence and happiness for yourself. Love will follow on its own.

>>18494096
I have been happy being single, but that might be because avoidance is comfortable. I do like men and want to experience love. I feel like I have love to give. I feel lonely at times, which will increase when my parents pass on. Are these the wrong reasons?

>>18494103
I'm not overweight and might be average going by okcupid's matching algorithm, which supposedly matches you with people of equal attractiveness. I think I dress a bit young for my age. I'm quiet around guys and might seem boring because of that.

>>18494116
I know virginity isn't valued beyond a girl's 20's, but I've read too much here and equate it with me being considered as less the second it's gone. I also don't want sex for the sake of sex. I'd like companionship.

>>18494147
That advice would work on a man but not a woman. The only requirement for a woman to be attractive to men is to put even just a small amount of effort into their appearance. This means having nice hair, being a healthy weight, and waxing. Do those things and men will be attracted, they don't give a shit about the rest because men have low expectations for female personalities to begin with.

>>18494154
>but I've read too much here

there's your problem, gtfo of 4chan, it's basically poison with all the toxic opinions about females and virginity

>I also don't want sex for the sake of sex. I'd like companionship.

That's fair, but apparently you're sabotaging yourself from getting one because you fear it might lead to losing your v-card and devaluing you...

>>18494154
You seem to be avoiding the issue of "I want a relationship because I don't have one and I'll take anyone who comes my way," which is a very good thing. You don't want to take anyone who comes along because that's a recipe for a relationship falling apart. If you don't care who you get with then you won't get with someone who is compatible.

It's okay to want companionship. Everybody does. But love will not magically heal you or make your life better. A good relationship gives you help and support and a confidence boost, but only to the level of a very close friend. If you have underlying problems you need to work through, then they will still be there. Love will help, but it doesn't fix.

You're going to have to get out of your comfort zone, though. You can do this, you just have to do it slowly. Push the boundaries just a little further every time. You want to get the the point where you're nervous, but not freaking out. That is a good place to be, because it expands your horizons without having a panic attack undermine your work. This is called "exposure therapy", and is used to treat everything from anxiety to really deep-seated phobias. I suggest you do a bit of research on it and give it a shot.

There's a beautiful devices called a vibrator

>>18494157
How many women do you actually know well? I know several who weren't able to get relationships for the longest time, or sabotaged the relationships they had, because of self esteem issues. It's more common than you'd think.

>>18494181
Many. Even the shy and insecure ones were hit on by men and ended up in relationships. Infact when a woman is shy and insecure men find it cute. Not so much when you're a guy. Literally all a girl needs to do is look half decent.

>failing on easy-mode
You should just kill yourself. Your kids will now end up retarded anyway.

>>18494186
If that was it then I'd know a lot more people in relationships

>>18494089
>The people I ask out tend to reject me, and the people who ask me out tend to have a criminal record.

Define criminal record?

If they are violent rapists, murderers or drug dealers than yeah, stay away. If they fell on hard times and robbed a store once I'm gonna be honest, it's probably not that big a deal. I don't think you shouldn't have standards at all, but be realistic. And as much as I hate to say it, you being a virgin for so long is going to raise red flags if men find out. Or at least a bright orange "proceed with caution" flag. People will wonder why you haven't had sex yet especially if you're not super overweight and homely.

I'm gonna be honest girl, as a woman it's a buyer's market. If you can't find yourself a man, it's probly because you're uglier, fatter, and weirder than you think. Wishing and hoping aren't gonna solve shit. Get some good hobbies, practice interacting with people, go to the gym.

>>18494207
Also, fwiw, any person that told me they'd been in therapy for YEARS would make me run for the hills. Life is too short to deal with that kind of bullshit

>>18494207
>pegasus

I hate you so much, but I'm glad to see a familiar face (tripcode), where have you been?

>>18494147
Thank you for taking the time to give all this advice. I will work on this. It's part of what I've been working on in therapy. I think I have to accept it'll take longer, and a relationship isn't in my near future. I just worry that if I get to 40 without dating experience, I'll be even more of a red flag.

>>18494157
I'm not conventionally pretty, but I'm a healthy weight and put care into cleanliness and appearance. While I worry about appearance, I worry more about being socially inept, not being very successful, having health problems, living with my parents, etc.

>>18494171
I've gotten off of 4chan, but the damage is done. I only come back once in a blue moon to ask /adv/ something. Yes, you're right.

>>18494175
Thank you too for the thoughtful reply. I've been doing exposure therapy for social interactions in general. I recently had to stop because of health issues preventing me from going outside much. I reasoned that even disabled people find love, but maybe not if they're disabled and uncomfortable with themselves.

_______

Sorry for replying so slowly, I'm trying to reply to as many people as I can.

let's get this over with: got a pic to share?

>>18494217
I don't spend much time on the chan anymore, I think it's finally worn off for me. Godspeed, tender anon

>>18494181
I have a small group of friends.They're in relationships or married for the most part. It would help to meet another woman that I could relate to.

>>18494186
Does this apply to older women? I get the feeling we're supposed to be independent and able to navigate our own social interactions.

>>18494201
Records for violence or drugs. Sorry for lumping people in a category when they're individuals- it's just a pattern I thought could be relevant. What can I do about the red flag? Even if I go out and lose my virginity to be rid of it, the story of that would be a red flag in itself for any future boyfriend.

>>18494207
Can I at least find someone also weird? How can I fix something like weirdness, that's ingrained? I can't undo having gone to therapy. I can accept someone else with flaws.

What powers do you have, dear wizard?

Holly fuck. A female me.
Now i have to start getting fit.

>>18494291
They're a witch you dumb bastard.

This is OP. I want to make sure I have the advice correct so far:
>get more confidence
>exposure therapy
>get to know other women in same position
>don't visit 4chan

Not sure will help:
-lose virginity (need opinion on how this would help when seeking LTR)
-work out (I'm bordering on underweight but could stand to be stronger I guess)

If I skipped anything I either missed it or didn't think it would help, but feel free to repeat it.

>>18494454
Ha, good luck finding any other 31 years old virgin women.

>>18494089
Prison school pic? You're my new best friend

>>18494454
Seconding exposure therapy. Stay out of your home/off your phone and in other peoples faces as much as possible.

You say you want companionship, ie to be close to someone. Try getting a little closer than usual to everyone you pass in daily life. Sidewalk, grocery store, etc. A little closer every day. Our culture is very coccooned and closed off, it must be brutal on shy women.

A site that reallly helped me:
reichandlowentherapy.org

>>18494454
Forget all of that
Become my qtp2t inexperienced gf and we will learn together

>>18494474
You think a 31 year old virgin woman would be cute?

>>18494089

>work on yourself, develop a hobby (that will help in boosting your self esteem), find people with the same hobby
>Work on your appearance, work out at least 1 hour everyday if you want to feel fit and happy and happy people tend to be more approachable
>Don't focus on losing your virginity, there's more to life than sex. Instead focus on making yourself happy and then you can attract the ideal mate

>>18494477
Can't be worse than nothing.

>>18494477
Yes, why not?

>>18494499
Cute girls aren't virgins.

>>18494507
I disagree.

>>18494262
Couple things:

-It wouldn't necessarily help to meet a woman like you. You'd end up identifying with your singlehood and resent each other when the other gets a date/bf and won't hang out anymore.

-Those types of men prey on weak women, women who they can sense would have a harder time saying no. Would you say you have strong personal boundaries, and an intact sense of self? You imply that you're still close with parents, was your family one with strong boundaries or loose?

>>18494089
>Female
>Virgin
Pffffftt hahahahahahaha

Getting laid is so easy for you that it's disgusting. Please fuck off.

>>18494529
She, like most women, is looking for a committed companion.

If sex is hard to get for men, commitment hard for women to get, and sex easy for women to get... Can men get commitment easy? I guess that's the friend zone, right?

>>18494550
No. Men don't just go out in public and get women constantly coming up him offering to be friends. Men have to do all the work no matter what.

File: median.png (36KB, 800x753px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 800x753px

>>18494529
It really doesn't make that much of a difference
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/on-late-in-life-virginity-loss/284412/
>According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age Americans lose their virginities (defined here as vaginal sexual intercourse) is 17.1 for both men and women. The CDC also reports that virgins make up 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of males aged 20 to 24. That number drops below 5 percent for both male and female virgins aged 25 to 29 and goes as low as 0.3 percent for virgins aged 40 to 44.
We're all gonna make it

>>18494571
Sure, but if there was a way to make it clear that you would never pressure her to take the relationship sexual, I bet women would approach those men.

That must be why they tend to permanently remain in a relationship, or always have an orbiter or three around. They're seeking trustworthy, reliable people in a world that wants them for their beauty.

>>18494581
>We're all gonna make it

Oh I doubt it, this is a special generation of weirdos and outcasts.

>>18494469
Thank you for the help. This is useful! I'll check out the website.

>>18494474
I like that you're less experienced, but I know I'd eventually panic and ruin everything.

>>18494482
I forgot to say earlier- I do have hobbies that allow me to meet others and give me something to feel happy about. The self doubt still invades everything I do. Perhaps working out will help, as you've said.

>>18494518
You're probably right about meeting another woman like me. I'm not sure exactly what you mean by boundaries. My parents don't give me much privacy. I don't feel comfortable when someone is touchy or talks sexually to me. Honestly, I've let those things happen to me before for the sake of being polite or not angering someone.

>>18494529
What >>18494550 said is correct. I'm not looking to get laid. Yes, it is harder for men. That issue can have it's own thread. What's something you have that everyone wants? Money? Does it make you feel a sense of worth that strangers would gladly take your money? What if they don't care about you and just want your money? Isn't it human to prefer to give it to someone that you like and want to share with?

>>18494089
>and the people who ask me out tend to have a criminal record.

Certain types of people who commit many crimes prefer big butts.

This, couples with the whole female virgin at 30 tells me that you're not just overweight, but so overweight that sometimes you have to take a toothbrush to the folds to clean the crust out.
So wide you have a reality show based on your width alone.

My advice, lose weight.

>inb4 men shallow.

So are women, we just admit it. I'd know women are shallow. Heard "creep" one too many times just for minding my own business.

>>18494154
>I'm not overweight and might be average going by okcupid's matching algorithm
>I'm not overweight.
I'm average, according to okcupid.
>average.
>okcupid.

Kek, I was right >>18494702

>>18494615
Well let's just put it this way
Unless you have actual autism or are especially ugly it's statistically extremely unlikely you'll die a virgin

>>18494691
That's even better.
If we both go in with the mindset that it will be ruined eventually, we can be totally open.

>>18494590
Still no. Women don't just want to have a guy friend for the sake of having a guy friend the way men will want just about any woman just to fuck her.

>you're a guy and don't want to fuck me? Wow that's amazing you wanna hang out? Not wanting to fuck me and being a man is the only requirement I have to want you to be a lifelong friend

Everything about being a man is harder.

>>18494737
Maybe.

I still say this is a unique point in history. With all subcultures being commodified and flooded with regular/normies, it's creating super isolated communities with toxic environments on the net. We have people that are almost completely unintegrated into regular society.

>>18494787
Dude, lower your standards and lose your r/incel mindset.

>>18494691
I'm >>18494518 and what you said is exactly what I meant by boundaries. The fact that you get uncomfortable when someone merely brushes up against where your boundary should be indicates that you know once they're past that point, they can take it even further and walk all over you, because you intuitively know you're shit at enforcing your personal boundaries. you're a great mark for a predator, you know this, and so you panic when even well-meaning people get close to you.
>My parents don't give me much privacy.
Exactly. Very casual with the boundaries.

If your therapist hasn't touched on this, look elsewhere. See also the website I linked you. Reichian therapy is good for this.

>>18494814
The fuck are you talking about.

>>18494809
I agree to a point, but I still think most people do eventually lose it
It just takes longer for it happen

>>18494089
>wah my standards are so high im totally alone

holy shit women are so stupid

>>18494824
Here's a couple pertinent pages
http://reichandlowentherapy.org/Content/Energy_and_Movement/surface_and_boundaries.html
http://reichandlowentherapy.org/Content/Goals/contact.html

>>18494845
>to a point

And what point would that be? I don't know maybe you're right and that we'd be laid eventually (like in our 40s with an expensive hooker).

>>18494878
Not who you're talking to, but there's a grain of truth to the "time heals all wounds" mentality. Being in my late 20's and not letting my health go to shit, I notice younger girls are more receptive to me and I get looks/interest just based on the fact I seem to have my life in order, where previously there was zero interest. Attract women to you, let go of yearning. Women can smell yearning and it stinks to them.

File: e3df845f-b9fe-4f4d-be15-71a65e3603ad..jpg (232KB, 500x720px) Image search: [Google]

232KB, 500x720px

>>18494313
They're actually beasttamers

>>18494887
I know this might irk some anons but I personally want someone close to my age. It's just that most decent girls are in relationships by their late 20s.

>>18494899
I almost forgot it's Friday.

>>18494903
What if Ms. right turns out to be a couple years your senior? Your self-limitations are defenses. You're terrified of "getting stuck" in a relationship with someone you might not be totally in love with. But how can you be afraid when you have all the power to say no? Let go of prejudices or you might let a great opportunity slip by.

>>18494824
>>18494867
Interesting. Some things I never thought about.

>>18494915
>What if Ms. right turns out to be a couple years your senior?

Reading comprehension is not a great skill of yours is it?

>>18494915
I said close to my age meaning give or take a few years.

>>18495011
What are you afraid of, getting led on by a cougar? You should focus more on becoming the type of guy that isn't susceptible to that than on making up arbitrary rules for your behavior.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFvaS5XmNgY

>>18495034
>arbitrary

Are you retarded?

*fart*

>>18494154
>Virginity isn't valued
Its always valued.

>Happy being single
Women like you are hard to find. Independence is something lost in most relationships. I get that you need each other type of response but being overly dependent on your partner isn't love. Its dependency. So take value in you loving yourself first and find soneone you can be happy with. A guy that will complete your life, not compete for your attention.

>>18494089
If you are fat, just exercise, all women are desirable if they aren't fat, stop using tramp clothes, specially if you are fat.

you are losing on easy mode OP.

Have you tried being drunk? Not shitfaced but just a healthy buzz. I've started showing up slightly drunk at social gatherings a while ago and after some months I could slowly dial it back a bit and still be my relatively social self.

Do you have a job? Find people in your workplace, or go ti a gym and train and when you start looking a little better go to a guy and ask if he would train with you then ask for a coffee if he doesnt ask you.

Keep up being a virgin. If you give your virginity to the guy you marry to when you fight he wont be able to call you stuff like slut,whore etc. .

Read a few books from a good writer and go to cafes and sit there on your free time , if you see a decent guy reading a book go next to them and ask them about the book (if you look good enough he wont mind talking for a few minutes)

Learn how to do makeup and watch the news (dont be super insistent on your opinions as in startin a fight, be respectful)

Start small- go to a particular cafe frequently and make small convo w/ the barista or go to the same restaurant/fast food place in a quiet time and talk a bit with the cashier. This will help with your confidence. Wear feminine but attractive clothes (like long skirts and not too high heels/ have a fifties look but look young still) try pinks and blues instead of reds and blacks. (NEVER WEAR BLACK)

Look people in the eye when walking (especially men) wear heels at home and walk without making noise (this shows classiness.

Thats all i can think of from the top of my head. Not to be too rude but sweetie you are 31 so you need to act classy and feminine but look young. You will find a boyfriend quite fast like this (a body/closet pic would be nice though)

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>18496489
>Its always valued.

Not well into your 30s it isn't. Even late 20s is pushing it.

There was only one dude I knew that was obsessed with virginity like that, and he couldn't comprehend the fact that people got married to non-virgins (despite pulling chicks in clubs all the time). In the end he married his cousin, cos, and I'm paraphrasing, she never fucked.

>>18494878
>(like in our 40s with an expensive hooker).
I thought the same.
Then I turned 26 and told myself: why not now?
So I got a hooker and it was amazing. Changed my life.

You should try.
Everything you tell yourself you will do when you are 40...whatever it is... Do it now.

>>18494089
Pic of you

>>18496731
Yeah but I would like a woman to talk to who is actually interested in my conversations.

This is what you do, OP.
>hang out on your favorite imageboards (avoid ones filled with suspicious individuals like /r9k/ or /soc/ though) or other online venues
>meet a guy who's cute and not an asshole (this is very trial and error)
>bond over something
>become his girlfriend
>meet IRL
>fuck

File: examples.jpg (255KB, 360x900px) Image search: [Google]

255KB, 360x900px

>>18496539
It's a slippery slope. It would probably lead to self-medication in my case.

>>18494739
Are you open to being friends? If not, I understand. I can't guarantee I'll have the guts to reach out, but feel free to leave your contact info.

>>18496605
Thanks for all the tips. I spent the last couple years going out and trying to talk to at least one person each time. I recently got sick, couldn't go outside, and lost the skills from that. I don't know when/if I can recover, which is part of why I feel no one can accept me.

Pic related has examples of how I dress. Bottom pic is approximately how my body looks. I don't know if it matters, because even if someone liked me, I wouldn't be able to talk to them. Just thinking about it through this thread makes me too anxious to sleep or eat.

>>18497076
I've seen it said over and over not to try to find a relationship on 4chan, even on the more peaceful boards. Have you heard of it working out well?

>>18497636

Im the anon with the tips! How about trying to look in the mirror and having a full on conversation with yourself? If nobody is looking no one can call you crazy!

>>18497636
Don't count out anything when it comes to meeting people. I did find a gf from 4chan, we were together for a year. So it does happen.

So really, just put yourself out there. Tinder, dating sites, and so on.

OP, if you can't find a partner and you're 30 years old, then it's one of three things.
1. You're literally bottom tier ugly. Even standard 3/10 ugly chicks can get guys that are at least 6/10. But since you do get asked out by people, you can't be gutter trash tier, which leads to
2. You're deathly boring. Even the most boring chicks can act as a pussy repellant against guys. Maybe you don't have hobbies, or that you just can't present your thoughts in a interesting meaning. This can also be
3. Self sabotage. Maybe you are interested, and maybe you are hot, but you may unknowingly sabotage yourself out of situations due to self loathing or a low self-esteem.

>>18497636
Looks like all you need is a kickstart in relationships. I'm pretty sure you'd make a great girlfriend, if only you got to that point.
You need something to break the ice. To force you to be together with potential romantic interests for a while, even if it makes you uncomfortable.
Scratch that -- *especially* if it makes you uncomfortable.

So. Place yourself in situations you'd feel like you "wouldn't be able to talk to them" and "too anxious to sleep or eat".

And yes. I am implying you push yourself right into dating pool with no safety net.
But - and here comes the important part - go there with the "this is not a date, I'm just hanging out with a kind stranger" attitude.

Don't dare thinking about any romantic relationship between the two of you. Avoid the topic. You're not there yet.
I believe your anxiety (at least partially) comes from the fact that you're overthinking dating.
Sure dating is how you ultimately (keyword - ultimately) meet your potential love, but 99% of the time that's not what happens.
I'll tell you what dating is:

Dating is something two lonely people do to have fun together. To talk. To enjoy the company.

No, you aren't under any circumstances obliged to involve anything romantic in a date (especially with a stranger).
You're there for the company. To exchange words. To confide in someone, hoping that someone will give you the support you need.

The extra important part of dates is that you're both single, and you both know you are single.
But this comes *after* you decide you like each other. It's a hint that you can escalate - should both sides be willing.

So - ditch the anxiety. You're not going on dates to find a boyfriend (well, ultimately you are, but it's a long journey).
You are going on dates to meet people, to enjoy their company; and if, and *only* if, it clicks, to try going further.

*That's* what dating really is.
Nobody will blame you for pulling out. There's no pressure.
After all - you're just hanging out.

>>18497636
>I've seen it said over and over not to try to find a relationship on 4chan, even on the more peaceful boards. Have you heard of it working out well?
I didn't explicitly meet my boyfriend on 4chan (I met him on Discord), but I don't think the medium is really that important. If you spend a lot of time on 4chan, it's one of your best resources for finding someone you can connect with.

>>18497636
Post an actual pic. It's not like you're ever going to meet one of the dozen or so people reading this thread.

>>18494089
Lose 200 lb or find a retarded nigger. Problem solved

OP, I've been following the thread, and I'd think I'd like to get to know you. I'm a 30yo male, so I might have more in common with you than younger guys. No specific intentions yet but, if you'd like to talk, send me an email:
[email protected]

>>18494849
>not wanting to fuck criminals is having high standards

holy shit /r9k/ is so stupid

File: 65fee15546b1a1dbcde67e3c8429c3b3.jpg (144KB, 900x663px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 900x663px

>>18494217
That's not Pegasus, its some imposter faggot that spouts the same stupid fucking platitudes everyday as the rest of you morons

>>18498829
How do you know?

I hear you OP, I'm in a similar boat except I'm 35, almost 36.

Men i like don't like me (and believe me, I'm not going for great catches) and men that like me, i don't like.

I also just keep to myself 99% of the time and when i do reach out, out goes disastrously. Sucks.

>>18494089
Then be the change OP. Start reflecting on why people with criminal records are attracted to you. I am almost certain it is how you present yourself or your personality. Look at what other people with a relationship you want look and act like. Seriously, I was in this same boat but as a guy. Girls who were trash were always attracted to me and you know why? I was a stupid hipster that was into the current fad. Once I worked on myself (getting a good job, dressing like a normal person, working on my physical and mental well being, I started getting dates with people who were decent humans. Also, work on that self esteem, it helps a lot. best of luck.

>>18497636
Not the guy you replied to, but you can reach me at [email protected] if you want.

I'm a bit of a mess myself, and I could use some practice at talking to people. Doing that IRL is scary and exhausting, and I hope it'll be slightly easier online. Mail/chat is fine for starters (hopefully moving to audio eventually if we both become comfortable with that, and if timezones and schedules match up etc).

On an unrelated note : I'm not sure if this (and your being sick) is the only issue in your life, or if you also have some other things you're working on. But you might want to check out Habitica, a kind of gamified habit-building site/app. It's kinda silly, but maybe it'll indirectly help a little bit.

>>18497646
I've tried talking to the mirror or recorder, yes. I can't say anything. I'm self conscious even then, hah. Maybe I should do that until I can talk.

>>18497647
I'm glad to know how it went for you.

>>18497757
Do you know of ways I might learn to present my thoughts better or how to stop the self sabotage?

>>18497804
I like your ideas about not thinking of it as a date. I appreciate your insights.

>>18497834
That makes sense.

>>18497848
Sorry. I know it could help to post it, but you can probably tell I'm a paranoid person from the thread.

>>18498599
Would be -75 pounds and there'd be a negative energy forcefield where my body used to be. I am going to take the advice to be more in shape though.

>>18498723
>>18499312
Thanks for the emails. I'm interested in your stories.

>>18499098
Sorry to hear about your own struggles. It's comforting to not be alone in this, but I really hope things improve for you. I want to say to not let that affect your sense of self, but I know firsthand that's hard to do.

>>18499140
That's a very good point about being introspective about appearance and behavior. One thing I've always done is dressed modestly and more girly than womanly, because I didn't want to attract men looking for a good time. Maybe this has backfired, but I'm pretty sure it's how I carry myself as well. There's something nonverbal. I'll think about it. Thanks anon.

>>18500047
It was great, we got along and had fun together. Unfortunately it ended because of distance, she moved to the other side of the world.

>>18494089
You sound awfully similar to a friend of mine. Same situation, age and style.

Anyways, i dont have any new advice that hasnt been said in this thread. Just keep going. Seek your own happines and try not to worry about being a virgin too much. There are people that is/will be attracted to you (i actually liked my frind but never told her).

You just need to control your anxiety. It will not go away, but you will learn to live with it.

File: proof.png (8KB, 822x99px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 822x99px

>>18499082
https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/17884517/#17885021

>>18494089
post pic of yourself?

>>18500047
Really the only way to stop self sabotage is to shove those thoughts into the dirt whenever they pop up. In terms of improving self esteem, usually getting a change of scenery, distancing yourself away from negative people, and indulging in new hobbies can change that.