Infant?

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I have just come to realization that I might be an infantile man, or manchild. I tend to avoid responsibillity, I am not able to apply skills into practice and instead I just intellectualize everything, thinking about some higher matter without being able to apply it. In real life, when time comes to take responsibillity, I evade it furiously. Feels like I am always waiting for the moment when "true woman comes", "no sense to try until I'll be invited to work on something grandiose", and until I have a chance and possibility, I won't do anything. Long time ago, girlfriend broke up with me for exact the same reason. She was mature beyond her years, and what I have heard from her was somewhat similar to what I have described, moreover, she felt I was not able to make coherent decisions, always changing my mind as if it was a pendulum. I feel I've been entrapped by my passiveness, life that hadn't been lived was accumulated in my psyche. I have been living entirely alone for a year, but if I had any possibility to be dependent on someone, I'd have already fallen into that way of living. I am studying, but living mostly on my parents' savings. If I am bored, I am trying to get out of the routine, I spend money mindlessly, but mostly on food. In my free time, I start to daydream about genius things I would create if I started to work. These thoughts became so vivid, I spend three or four hours on developing them, that's my hobby.

Having addressed the issue, is it possible to break the pattern? Any tips? Does it feel somewhat familiar to you?

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