Mother "disowned" me

>>18492476
Sorry if the post is long, but this shit is really eating me up. Now she has told me I'm dead to her among other things. What should I do?

You're mom's a retard. Don't give her the time of day.

>>18492480
Tell her you went to college to study and money means nothing to you. It might not have to do with the girl but it seems as though your mom thinks youre throwing your life away by not earning big money. Let her know money isnt important to you and follow your passions.

>>18492480
Good. Be dead for her and move on. Soon she'll return crawling tho, and if you have a minimum amount of judice you won't accept her back in your life.

>>18492476
Is your mother still with your father or other father figure? The way she treats you seems sort of incestuous, is she jealous of your gf or something? And what the fuck what kind of mother tells their child they hate them?

>>18492492
That's the thing, I live in Texas and am going to A&M in the fall to major in Computer Science, which is a really profitable field. I'll be making more money than anyone in my family ever did, she's just mad because I'm not moving to the same state she's in, and she's not considering how much of a burden it would be for me to go to an out of state school.

>>18492511
No, my mother and father are separated. I visit my father often, and he treats me with nothing but love. He is a very strong-minded man. The only time I've ever seen him cry (and I mean bawl with tears) is when my mother intentionally didn't send him an invitation to my graduation and told him I didn't want him there. I didn't even find out until after the graduation and was wondering why my father didn't show up. I had to clarify to him that I wasn't the one in charge of sending out the invitations. She told me she would handle it.

>>18492476
Have her committed because she is clearly insane.

>>18492541
How would I go about doing that? You can't force someone into a mental institution, can you?

Honestly, I probably need a bit of therapy myself. I'm sure there are some unresolved issues deep down in me due to having been raised by her.

>>18492522
Not trying to be a dick, but your mother sounds really fucking immature. I'm with the other anon, it sounds like its jealousy. Are you her only son? Is this your first relationship? She probably doesn't know how to cope. Though she's handling it the wrong way

>>18492608
It's my second relationship, and yes I'm her only son. And trust me, I wouldn't take offense to anything you said about her.

There is really no salvaging a relationship with a narcissist. You will never find common ground with her. You cannot reason with her. She will never change. She can offer you nothing.

Don't feel conflicted about who to choose between your mother and GF… your mother made that choice for you. Stick with the people who are good to you and sane.

All you can really do is let her continue to rave like a lunatic until everybody distances themselves from her and she finds herself alone with nobody to emotionally leech off of.

>>18492476
Nigga stand up for yourself. Tell your mom she's a skank and to leave you alone or else you'll blow the lid on her crazy shit on FB.

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>>18492476
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn

‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s foes will be those of his own household.’

“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And He who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

(Matthew 10:34-39)


OP, I am letting you know that everybody on this Earth is full of faults. For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God.

God loves you as far as the East is from the West. He created you and fashioned you in the womb and knew you even before you were born. Give your life over to Jesus Christ and get in the Spirit and seek Him my friend. There is True Love in Him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx0886C6eAg

>>18492476
I don't get it. Are you reliant on your mother somehow? Why would you tolerate this sort of behavior any longer than you need to? This woman is absolutely toxic, and yes, a total narcissist.

On a personal note, my mother is much the same way, although your mother seems to be the uninhibited version of her. I cut contact with her, so I'm wondering why you're sticking around?

>>18492476
I feel bad for you OP. You sound like a friend I had back in high school. If you don't live in the same state as your mother then I'd suggest keeping your distance,literally and figuratively. I've dealt with people similar to your mother , the most appropriate course of action would be to completely ignore them. They usually crawl back to you and apologize later. Your dad seems like a cool guy, I'd stick close to him. Oh and always trust your gut.

>>18492476
My father is also a narcissist, very similar to what you have described here, except he has been to jail twice, was an alcoholic, and has been married 4 times.

I have spent my entire life maneuvering his pure insanity, and it's not easy, but I consider myself skilled at this point.

You have to understand that these types are completely insane. Nothing they say or do makes an ounce of sense, and they will completely contradict themselves in the span of 20 minutes. I don't even consider these types to be humans (I believe they are reprobate, it's a term from The Bible).

It does not matter if you are doing something productive with your life, does not matter if you're going to school to become an engineer or a basket weaver, they will have a problem with it. They will criticize it, and make criticisms that don't even make any sense. They just say completely random and incoherent things that they think will be hurtful.

They NEVER change, and there is nothing you can do with people like this. You can't "stand up for yourself" or anything like that, because it doesn't even matter. They will never change no matter what.

The only thing you can do is focus 100% of your energy and resources in getting away from them, which is hard if you are a young person without much money. Maybe see if you can live with your dad while you're getting straightened out, and DEFINITELY go to school for something profitable, because that means you can become financially independent and get away from this toxic narcissist.

Remember, these people aren't human. They aren't even really "immature", they are just inhuman. The way they act is very unnatural and inhuman, and I believe they are reprobate. It is very weird to be the child of somebody like this too. I believe most of these types will burn in hell for eternity.

>>18492476
Woah, sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder, with a dash of Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm no psychiatrist, but she needs to see one.
No matter how much you want to reason, she'll always spin it to be right at the end. Your gf sounds like a godsend. Leave the trash behind you and look forward with her.

Your mother sounds like my former in law. Dude she's bipolar or some shir. Best solution is to get your shit together and excommunicate her. She is a child who never grew up. Like anon, please run, because I've seen your future and so many good things are going to be ruined by her.

There is no doubt in the world that you should drop all contact with this woman, even if she is your mother. Where I live, you would have a case for child abuse, which is clearly what you've experienced.

>"do you have no self esteem?! Look how ugly she is!"
LMAO she's right

>>18492679
10/10 marketing strategy for your new film, I just converted to Christianity.

>>18492571
Call the police and say that she threatened to kill herself - it's an automatic 5150 with 3 days in the psyc ward. Also get a restraing order on her because she is trying to ruin your life.

>>18492689
I'm going to college in the fall. Ive only been living with her because I was a minor. I'm 18 now and starting my freshman year of college.

>>18492933
Why even come to this sub if you're going to be a dick dude?

>>18493616
>sub
Don't.

>>18492476
Leave and never look back dude. She's fucking nuts, nothing you can do will ever change that. If she's so eager to cut you out of her life then you do it too and watch her squirm.

>>18492476
Fuck anon I'm in the SAME situation right now with my boyfriend! My mom became crazy jealous once someone finally showed my attention and loved me. She always calls him fat and ugly and tells me that i can do so much better. She screams at me constantly and sometimes gets to the point where she'll punch me or break my shit if I don't engage with the argument.

Recently she got mad at my boyfriend for calling her a bitch (mind you, he was only standing up for me because of the physical damage she was inflicting on me, I'm also half black and in between the punches she's tell me i was nothing but a dirty nigger) and now will not speak a word about him.

We also go tot he same college and my mother thinks it was an awful decision, she believes that he was just following me instead of branching out on his own.
I really don't understand how mothers can become so jealous of their children, it's absolutely disgusting especially when they want to play victim. i believe your mom and my mom fall into the narcissistic mother category, and once they realize their mistakes they'll slowly start to apologize.

Y'all hafta be black

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>>18492476
>Look how ugly she is!
Wew, what a fucking cunt. Relationships aren't just about looks.

OP, I also have a mother who cut me out, and she did it a couple of times, even after I put up with all the insults and the calls back to when I had messed up years ago and all the "fuck you's."

Good on your girlfriend for standing up to your mom, but nothing anybody says will make a difference to that woman. She will make herself out to be the victim; she will try to turn everyone against you; she will do what she can to ruin any bit of your life she has access to, because she's a narcissistic, bitter woman. She will never let go of the times you defended your girlfriend, the time "you" cut her out, or any other time you may have wronged her, real or imagined, not for as long as she lives. If you're not doing exactly as she says, you're not with her; and if you're not with her, you're against her.

Then, after you manage without her, she'll come back with the crocodile tears. She'll make you feel guilty for the cut contact, even though that was her doing. If you don't give her another chance, everyone will hear about how her heartless son wants nothing to do with her; if you do, they'll hear of some other way you're not a good son. Finally, unable to let go of everything that's happened, she'll cut you out again anyway, and once again she'll say it's your fault.

That woman is toxic and she did you a favor by cutting you off first. Never, ever let her have contact with anyone you care about because if you do she will harass them and try to ruin your relationship with them, as you have seen. She will make it her mission to make you feel powerless under her pressure. Show her that she can't. Don't play her games, don't give her any emotion, just live a fulfilling life.

Some of your family and friends will turn against you. If they don't change their opinion after hearing you out, get on without them and keep them away from all the good in your life. Assume any information that reaches them reaches your mom.

(part 1/2)

But what if his girlfriend is actually ugly?

>>18493703
(continued)

Listen, no matter how much you may care about your mother and no matter how much you may think it would be wrong to have nothing to do with her, all that negativity she brings to your life will eat away at you until you become bitter, resentful, and full of hate yourself. You seem to be withstanding it now, but it will eventually change you. It will make you a worse person, believe me.

This is an extremely difficult situation to be in, both emotionally and logistically, and your reaction is understandable. It's unfortunate, everything that's happened, but the best thing you can do--for yourself and for others--is to go your separate way from her. No hatred, no regret, no emotional investment in her at all. You just try to live a good and fulfilling life.

I'll keep an eye on this thread if you want to talk, OP.

>>18493708
He's happy with his girlfriend, so she should get used to it instead of making a drama out of the whole situation.

>>18492933
found the mother.

>>18493708
What if you were so dull of a person that you had to put up with a borderline retarded skank who couldn't hold a conversation just because she was eye candy?

>>18493687
What makes you say that?

My husband has the same issues with his mother. I haven't been in a fight with his mom yet, but I know if I ever told him to stop sending money she'd do the same shit. I'm honestly trying to do right by him and look out for his future (and ours) but I feel like she will take it out on me because he won't stand up to her. She may have raised you, but you have your own life and need to live for yourself. Don't ever let anyone bring you down or come in the way of your happiness regardless of their relationship to you. If you have to separate ties to be happy, do so. It's your life and your future. Some people are toxic, it doesn't matter if they're blood.

>>18493569
This. She doesn't sound like the type that can keep her head cold and talk herself out of it, when they come for her.

>>18493685
why don;t you tell her she's the dirty dog who got fucked by a nigger? that ain't no fault of yours.

Is this the thread for mommy issues?

Not trying to be a bitch, I have my own baggage and I kind of want to unload it.

>>18493904
Not really. But go ahead. But making your own thread might work better.

>>18493918

Just wanted to say that you're not alone with having a manipulative mother. Only mine uses food to do it. This isn't a 'I'm fat/skinny because my mommy did it to me' post, just hear me out.

Food and hunger are basic, primal needs. You would eventually die of starvation if you did not consume any calories. So when a parent feeds their child nothing but crap, or forces food down their throat, or restricts food from them, I think it's one of the most disgusting things a human being can do to a child.

Mine wasn't that. We always had good food in the house, homecooked meals with fresh ingredients, realistic portions for a child of my age... So what's the problem? Not every day, but every now and again at the dinner table I would be berated for eating. I don't just mean, like, 'slow down, champ' or 'eat your potatoes, string bean' or playful banter like that. I laughed along with that. I remember one day very clearly, I had gone swimming all day and I was exhausted and hungry. We had lasagna that night and I began to eat quickly as one tends to do when you're hungry. And my father and mother were like 'holy shit wtf' and then my father grabbed my 5-year-old wrist and said 'you're eatin like that because you're just a little piggy' and started snorting. And he got spit in my food.

My father was morbidly obese. He was physical, but he drank cheap beer and ate chips and pork cracklins like crazy. His plate was always, ALWAYS heaping. And my mother was always a fast eater (although she's still very skinny to this day), so she just constantly sucked down her food.

Now, at this point my mother was like 'wtf are you saying to this child knock it off'... But later down the line she started to become this kind of offender. I have medical issues and I'm living with her currently. And it keeps getting worse and worse.

I am fat. I have endocrine illnesses and I obviously have issues with my diet. (1/2... Sorry for length. Hope it's at least an interesting read.)

>>18492476
Lol she getting mad that ur gf is takingyou to GT? She claims that that is not where the money is? Bitch Engineers are in the top demand do you make good money as it. However OP you have to decide what the future is for you. Georgia Tech is extremely hard to get into, it likes only accepts 13% of its applications, and if it is your desire to become an engineer than go for it. Seems like ur gf is pushing you to better urself thru college, and that is all good but remember it is an investment for YOU not ur gf. Are you even remotely interested in becoming an engineer and studying mathematical formulas all the time?

As for your mom she seems so juvenile. I will cut contact with her.

>>18493952
I also have a restricted diet of 1200 calories per day. It's actually kind of nice that I have control over my diet...

...Except it's not the actual food that's the problem.

The act of eating has been made to seem condemned to me. One Thanksgiving we were sitting at the table, my plate had turkey, vegetables, and that's it (don't like stuffing or gravy) and she said something along the lines of 'so when are you going to not be fat anymore'. If I sit down to eat and she's around she'll get right next to me and start calling me a failure. She has actually put her hand on my stomach in public while I was working and said 'it's pretty big'... These aren't the only things she's done. She's threatened to kick me out of the house, she gaslights me, she has complete control of my finances (because once upon a time I trusted this human being), but that's not what this post is about.

I got the call that I have hypothyroidism about a year ago and she came up to me, wrapped her arms around me, and went 'my poor baby' and I wanted to kill her. I wanted to take my hands and squeeze her neck until I heard it crack. It is the only time in my life that I had wanted to murder a human being.

The act of eating over the years has been driven into my mind as a taboo. If I eat a substantial amount, it's always 'you fat punk', but if I eat too little it's 'your doctor wants you to eat more dont you care about yourself'? ...So it's not what I'm eating, it's not how much I'm eating, it's the act of eating in itself. I don't eat around her. I only eat when I am alone.

As for her diet? Chocolate, cookies, and cheese. It's junk. She's 57 and prides herself on her vegetarianism. ...She brings me home "peace offerings" if we get into a fight. The last one was a pack of 3 Musketeer candy bars. I was so mad I threw them all out, and she flipped her shit because I 'wasted food'.

There's more, but that's enough. It feels good to get it out there. Thanks for existing, /adv/.

>>18492476
>black

y'all black as fuck

>>18494002
What makes you say that? And why would it matter?

>>18494063
>What makes you say that?
The way you both speak
>And why would it matter?
Because nigs gonna nog

>>18492476
Off the bat, your mum is a piece of shit, sorry.

Idk what advice to give. It's your mum, you can't just get her out of your life. HOWEVER your gf sounds like an absolute saint and you should actually show her how much you appreciate her for not ditching you cause of this shit - That's loyalty.

>>18494086
The way we both speak? Are you retarded? Please quote an instance of me speaking that is indicative of my ethnicity.

>because nigs gonna nog

Your parents gave birth to chromosomally deficient genetic filth.

You being in your mom's life is contingent on her respecting your gf, not the other way around. If she won't act up she doesn't get to enjoy her son's company. Cut her out and stick to your guns until she changes.

>>18494215
At least I'm not a nigger

>>18492476
Give her her way and be "dead to her". Trust me it will kill her inside.

>>18492659
Fucking this out of ten

your momma is a punk ass bitch

>>18494255
That's true, you are simply worse than a nigger in just about every aspect of life.

>>18492476
ur mom wants to smash

>>18493991
A lot of idiot parents really don't understand the things that can have an impact on someones development. Tact is necessary when dealing with a lot of things and unfortunately many people don't take parenting seriously. I'm sorry for what you went through anon.

>>18492476
Obviously she's trying to give up some Oedo-pussy.

But seriously, OP, narcissism is a recognized personality disorder, and it sounds as if your mother truly has this. By confronting her statements as being rude, by not following the ideas she had, you have injured her image of herself.

This is very, very difficult to break or even "mend". Personality disorders are not bipolar, or schizophrenia, or depression, where medication could help with lifestyle changes. This will take your mother realizing at every moment that she acts in a maladaptive manner, and she is unlikely to change. Sorry you have to experience this.

>>18492476
Your mother is dangerous to you as she is. My advice is to make sure you document EVERYTHING - you could end up in court some day. Choose your words wisely and remain calm. Keep in mind that she may need psychiatric help, and you/your family are the only ones (aside from law enforcement) that can help her get it. Good luck.

>>18495584
it's not the child's job to raise the parent. she can rot. a personality disorder is no excuse for behavior. again, she can rot.

>>18492476
op you seriously need help if you think your mother is in any way redeemable or worth interacting with. break all contact with her as soon as you can.

Record what she does and what she says and then post it to her friends. The only thing narcissists feel is peer pressure.

>>18495602
this is a terrible idea. you're telling the son to stoop to her level and then seriously wound her, in a way that shouldn't even be legal.

you're worse than she is.

>>18495607
>Worse
Yeah right, it's her fault the way she acts and the only reason she does it is because she faces to repercussions. The only thing narcissists respond to is a degradation of their social status. Why do you think they play victim so much? Your moralizing helps no-one big boi.

>>18492679
Pretty sure that passage is from a parable in the Bible about some king, and are not Jesus's words.

Well, probably nothing in the Bible is "Jesus's words," but you know what I mean.

It's usually atheists who take this out of context (I'm an atheist myself, but I don't like shitty arguments and false claims, regardless of whom they come from).

>>18495607
Also I'd like to add that it's not the child responsibility for the adult. She is a despicable human being. "Wound her", are you serious? She's a soulless devil. Her feelings should be the least of his concerns considering what he just said.

>>18495618
>your moralizing helps no-one big boi

a.) why did you hyphenate no one?
b.) why don't you go somewhere else to give shi-...never mind, keep up the good work.

>>18495623
right but you two have absolutely no wisdom. you're encouraging him to create an even bigger problem than the one he has, and you haven't even given a good reason for him to do so.

lobbing attack after self-justified attack until nothing good is left is exactly what devils do, so don't be such a hypocrite. shaming other people publicly for no good reason is also what women do.

are you two female, btw?

>>18495634
One of your main points is how I hyphenated something and your other point is a pathetic passive-aggressive statement.

Sad.

>>18495640
No. Nice assumption though. I've actually had to deal with people like this and so I know how to deal with it. By weakening their positive feed-back loop you can open them up to reason. Also you're acting like I'm saying to be aggressive and an absolute cunt about this. Like, "omg look at this bitch she's lying what a cunt." I'm actually suggesting that he just show everyone what she's actually like without any comments or even a plea for help dealing with her.

Just because you all operated like you're playing 1d checkers doesn't mean everyone else is.

>>18495657
>you're just being insulting instead of arguing my points
okay fine, although I do think you're here to ego trip rather than give good advice

>by weakening their positive feedback loop you can open them up to reason
maybe by telling a family member or a trusted family friend, not by publicly humiliating her.

sending a screenshot of the private conversation to a bunch of people she knows is worse than any purposely bad advice I could have come up with. I think that is an insane suggestion, and I already know OP is not going to do it.

>just because you're all operated like you're playing 1d checkers
I think you might be stoned or something

>>18495678
OP already said that the rest of his family knows how much of a spiteful bitch she is. She doesn't care because she dissociated from them.

>Fortunately my family is on my side, because they all know how my mother is.

>>18495678
I'm telling you, she won't change as long as she has an echo chamber of vapid "friends" telling her how much of a great mother she is and that it's not her fault her son is a devil child.

>>18495691
if he has the support of the rest of his family, maybe he should just distance himself from his mother like I suggested

the way she is is not his problem. it's not the kid's job to deal with their fucked up parent.

the idea of trying to get her to "change her ways" when she doesn't even necessarily want to is problematic in itself, not to mention how hurtful of a process that could be for someone as close as a son

>>18495696
that's exactly why she's just not worth dealing with all together.

>>18495699
>>18495704
I can see your points but I differ on a fundamental level. I believe that even if it's difficult that people should try to make a difference. Having a bitch of a mother isn't good and in the end it can pave the way for a lot of disappointment. If he does do this what negative affect will it have in the long run? His mother will still be a bitch.

Anyway get professional help on how to deal with her. Ignoring might be the best choice but it might be worth it to try and change her still.

@OP, when did she start this behavior? Ask your father. It could a childhood trauma she dealt with that was triggered by something that happened within your own childhood, or it could not. It might help to figure it out either way.

>>18495729
>shit's already fucked, how can it get worse?
yeah, jinx

>might be worth it to try and change her still
that's insane