At war with myself?

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I feel like I have so many problems in my head that I can't beat because they are issues caused by me.

For example, I have extreme oneitis going on right now. Ongoing for years. She friend zoned me blah blah and yet I still yearn. The other part of me calls me retarded for still liking her which I get. but this disjoint in my head is really fucking me over in decision making.

I basically stay "stuck" on decisions for long amounts of time which means I can't even get anything done. I feel like shit and not man like because of this. I feel like as a male, I should be able to make a decision and stick to my guns. I can't do that currently. I have deleted this womans number like 2 times now and I always end up texting her in my weakest moments.

What can I do to improve my conviction? I have no strength in this regard. Can anyone offer any insight? I resent myself for my weakness.