Trusting Girlfriend Issues?

>>18490770
This sounds exactly like the beginning of my situation. Be careful dude.
>>18490773

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Let her know you're uncomfortable with the other guy anon. Don't be pushy about it and accuse her of anything, try to make it clear that you trust her, but don't trust other people (The guy) as easily and don't want anyone to get hurt in the end. Communication is really important in relationships. Do you consider the other guy to be more attractive than you or something?

>>18490794
I've never seen the guy. I only heard about him because when she was having problems, I helped calm her down, but apparently so did he.

>>18490790
Fuck, man. I'm sorry that happened to you.

We just started out, but I do see what you mean. The dudes leaving for the military soon tho, so that might stop it.

>>18490802
Meet him. Ask to meet him if he makes you uncomfortable. You can size him up and decide whether or not you still feel threatened.

>>18490770
Reeeelax and get to heavy fuckin!

>>18490770
>only a week
>shes the one who initiated sex and early
>says she loves you

Watch out anon, early red flags of borderline personality disorder. They sink their claws into you at the beginning. It's truly a wolf in sheep's clothing situation. Once she starts acting crazy just remind yourself it will never stop and go back to way it was early on and gtfo. Trust me from experience, I've had bad luck with several people I've dated ended up having BPD and that's how it always starts.

>>18490901
Oh forgot to add in the fact that she tells you she's hanging out with "guy friends". BPDs do this kind of shit. She's testing you to see what she can get away with. Bring up the fact that it bothers you and if she flips then you know what's up, leave and never look back.

>>18490901
What do you mean acting crazy? Is there anything I should watch out for for now?
>>18490866
Honestly, knowing what most of her friends are like, he's not that much of a physical threat. It's more of how he's emotionaally supporting her (even though I'm supporting her first and foremost.)
>>18490913
How do I ask? I mean, like what do I ask? I want to assert that but not seem overly concerned about it.

>>18490917
>acting crazy
You said she was clingy. Does she get worried or upset if you don't respond to texts/answer her calls right away? Does she take things you say the wrong way or do you find yourself having to explain what you meant? These are early red flags. They will act much crazier than that if you give them the time trust me.

>He gives her emotional support
This is code for "I like him and I want you to be okay with that". She will enjoy seeing you get jealous. BPDs troll you for emotional responses and jealousy is their favorite.

>How do I ask
Just be straight forward about it and ask her if they're just friends or if she likes him. Do it in a joking manner not to seem accusatory. If she makes a big deal about it, she's probably bad news. The one girl I asked about her guy friend she flipped out accusing me of being controlling and manipulative. She ended up being my first experience with a BPD and it was a 3 month long nightmare. Trust me you don't want it to go on that long

>>18490984
>acting crazy
She doesn't worry or get upset. We do spend a good amount of time talking over the phone though. In fact, I think I might worry sometimes. I never get upset though.

>he gives her emotional support
They've been friends for a while, apparently. Around elementary, then stopped talking until around sophomore year. I went to the same HS as her, but this guy didn't. I think she told me one time that he liked chicks back at his school.
>how do I ask
Alright, I'll try that. Thanks, man.
I just haven't been in a relationship in a while up to this point. After my 3 year long one ended from Freshman year of HS to early senior year, I emotionaally shut down. Since this summer 'break' (starting college I august), I've been developing an actual personality. Getting more comfortable in social settings, shit like that. Letting someone "in" emotionally, is something I'm getting used to. She's the only person.

>>18490770
>>It''s been a week, and we've both already said we love each other.
Why would you do that? Anybody who said that to me after 1week would scare the shit out of me. You should have more sense than to say it back. You can't possibly know someone well enough in that short of time to actually 'love' someone. So now, you've immediately fast forwarded that relationship to someplace where you're not comfortable or you wouldn't be in here asking for advice. This is why you date people. To learn about them and get to know them. To me, all of this shit sounds extremely fishy if you're expecting the love of your life to come out of this relationship. I think you'll end up being another mark on the fuckum board but who knows.

>>18491034
We've known each other for around 4 years. We were in HS together, so we know a lot about each other. And it's not that I'm uncomfortable with where we're at, its this specific person might get in the wag of that.

How about you address this concern with her?
I was in the same situation and asked my gf how she would feel if i had a girl thats a friend and i went to go hang out with her alone.
She stopped talking to her guy friend and he then tried to admit his feelings with hopes that she would leave me for him.... Fucking pathetic.

>>18491075
I just did. Initially, I think she sort of took it as I was trying to get then to stop talking (because they've known each other for a while), but I pretty much said make sure he knows me and her are a thing, as smooth as I could.

I feel like she's acting differently now, but it might be in my head.

Fuck man, in starting college soon. I don't want to deal with this shit.

>>18491500
Hey, if she's dropping the L bomb then there's no reason she should act different after you expressed your concern. You did the right thing, now she knows you're at least somewhat suspicious and will avoid cheating in fear of being busted. Those "guy friends" are always bad news bc even if the girl doesn't plan on pursuing anything you know damn well her guy friend is, nobody wants to stay in the friend zone. Often times this pursuit leads her to let down her inhibition and cheat on you. You gotta stay vigilant

>>18491547
Thanks, anon. I agree. What I found especially concerning is that they tried to date a long, long time ago, and it didn't work out. She told when I expressed my concern, but I still pushed and said that I just want him to know, so he doesn't feel led on.

Honestly man, everything about her is perfection. It's just this, and that's the only issue. I mean, I figured if I continue to stay physically fit, emotionally supportive, and mentally strong, I'd be in the clear, and we'd be fine.

The thing that's so off about this is that she said she had a crush on me throughout during highschool (even when I wasn't fit) but was in a relationship most of the time. The right things at the right time made this happen, and here we are.

And then this comes up.

Sounds like your girlfriend is a bit unstable and insecure. She wants attention from guys and to feel validated. She knows this guy wants to fuck her, you know it and he knows it. She is using him as a backup and as validation that if something were to happen, she could easily find someone else to take care of her. To me it sounds pretty fishy. Relationships develop over time. If your gut tells you not to trust her, it's probably right.

Someone is a little jeeeealous, but yea she has friends so what,if it gets to sensual shit then intervene