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So my girlfriend has had an eating disorder for a good while now, and it has put her in the hospital a couple of times. I have tried to do everything I can to support her through it but there is really nothing I can do. Recently she discovered that she has to spend at least a month in a residential care facility to try to recover. She has been stressing out really badly about this and has been avoiding spending time with me. She called me last night after we were supposed to get together and told me that she needed to learn to love herself before she could continue to love me. We both really want to stay together, but for now I have completely cut off contact with her. It would have probably been easier if we had just broken up, but neither of us wanted that. Now I am basically stuck for at least 2 months just waiting. I've looked into it and most eating disorder recovery programs recommend staying out of a relationship for at least a year.
Does anyone have some experience with this kind of thing? I don't have anyone to talk to that really understands what I'm dealing with.
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How desperate were you to start dating a crazy person?
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>>18490120
I don't have experience with eating disorders however it's like any other long term illness. If you love her and I mean really love her there's nothing wrong with waiting. You accept the person and deal with the issues. Otherwise, you explain to her the truth and move in. However, there are no guarantees in life. Something could happen to anyone at any time. Therefore, if you ever get married running out the door is less of an option.
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>>18490120
I've not been in your spot, but I did have a sister with eating disorders. When she was institutionalised, she was really not in any state to be in a relationship. Eating disorders are awful, because they're mental disorders with severe physical consequences. They're also difficult to overcome. Right nows she's smart, if focusing on recovery is her main goal. Also, you'd do wisely to stay somewhat distant, until/unless she gets better. Eating disorders have a high mortality rate, so if you want to protect yourself too, keep some emotional distance in case she doesn't make it. But cutting contact completely isn't necessary, probably. Having people they can trust and who care for them is important to mental health patients.
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