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Since I was ejected from a psych hospital a few years back, I've felt completely dead inside. As if i had died and went to Hell. Maybe I'm not in Hell yet but I'm definitely in the waiting room. Seems like nothing I do matters. Life doesn't matter to me and neither does my afterlife. I suffer from schizo-effective disorder. It's like schizophrenia but with bipolar disorder or depression attached to it. I live in a group home for mentally ill people. My life is not terrible but not necessarily good. I believe in being spiritually well more than being materialistically well.
What can I do to make things matter again. I fear death will come grab me one day and I will have no way to escape.
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>>18489843
I've had severe panic attacks in the past, and I am diagnosed with anxiety/depression, so I kind of can relate to your dread, but not too much.
I think there is not much that can be said. You are in the right place, being in that therapy group home. There are people who can help you and those too who can relate to you.
My only advice to you is to not kill yourself. Find even a single reason (about yourself, not that bullshit about how your mom will miss you) to keep on living, and then just take it easy. Don't make your life complicated. Make it your goal to just survive each day. If that means watching TV shows all day while attending to some entry level job, so be it.
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>>18489843
>I believe in being spiritually well more than being materialistically well.
This is good and incredibly important
>Life doesn't matter to me and neither does my afterlife.
However this attitude should be eliminated as it is destructive to spirituality. You've attained this life specifically for the purpose of practicing spiritual life and striving for liberation from this miserable materialistic world, called Moksha. Life may seem meaningless but only because you view it through a materialistic lens. Today people are involved with the rat race of working very hard at a job to earn very little money to enjoy some temporary materialistic reward. Such a life is based on materialistic sensorary gratification and is entirely pointless as the happiness derived from it is temporary. Such people seek to solve questions of how should I satisfy myself today instead of seeking to escape death and are bewildered at the time of death having wasted his life.Thus an intelligent man does not seek to attain the fruits of his work, knowing them to be binding to materialism. An intelligent man takes to a spiritual life through means of reading scriptures and practicing Yoga to attain Moksha to ultimately escape death and be in union with God. I highly recommend reading the Bhagavad Gita "As It Is." It describes how to lead a successful spiritual life and can change your life, you can find it free online in many places.
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>>18489901
Not OP but really interesting post, thanks!
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