OCD Help

>>18488271
Hey, I'm a lot like you. Started out with rituals revolving around cleaning, gradually became Pure O. First of all, you have my sympathy. I know very well how much it sucks. The good thing is that you CAN get it under control. Honestly, I recommend not being afraid of a psychologist. If you're worried about meds, you don't have to take them. Cognitive therapy is usually enough if you're disciplined.

Now if you're interested in what helped me personally (and what you can try alone at home), I can give you some tips. Be aware, though, that you need to be very hard on yourself for these to work and that you will probably fail a lot in the beginning. That's okay, it's a gradual process.

1. Just let your obsessions flow. If you're anything like me, you spend a lot of time trying to control them and this is exhausting. Well, just let go. Let go And try to distract yourself. It may sound counterintuitive, but OCD thrives on attention. If you learn not to give a shit, if you stop feeding it, it should get better.
2. Recognize when something is an obsession, remind yourself that you don't need to do it, that it isn't a part of you, but your illness, and do something else.
3. Exaggerate your obsessions if nothing works. If you need to, for example, repeatedly something seven times, do it seventy times. If you desensitize yourself, the obsessions will be easier to handle. (Careful here, though. This can turn into another obsession if you aren't strong willed enough.)
4. Forgive yourself. You will fail many times, but OCD is also about guilt, si no need to feed it. You have all the time you need to recover.

Good luck.

>>18488330
I'm incredibly grateful for the response that you've given I'll screencap to help try and remind myself about what steps to take. I'm trying to hard to ignore and continue life with my obsessions but I just feel that even when I'm not thinking about them they're dampening my quality of life. I can't lie in bed or sit alone anymore without these thoughts flooding my mind. In the past few days the obsessions became sensorimotor and I'm scared that they will never go away, I'm really at the point of becoming an hero

>>18488358
You're welcome, we have to help each other. I know that it probably sounds cheap, but don't lose hope. It can get better and it will get better if you work hard enough. In the end, it's you vs your illness. A psychologist can show you the way, but it's always up to you. I used to have obsessions since I was nine years old and I also thought about killing myself a lot. Now I'm 23 and while I do suffer from relapses occasionally, I know how to approach them and the quality of my life has improved exponentially. If I made it, then you can, too.

>>18488377
I agree that helping one another is the best thing do to, I've recently been helping a good friend who has developed a ritual compulsion and it's one of the best ways to help people. However I feel that when the obsession is in your head as opposed to an outright compulsion it ruins you and almost makes you shit yourself off and not care about anyone or anything. I don't know how I can go on feeling this way if it's just a case of adapting to it as opposed to it going away, I've read tons of conflicting articles and opinions and it just drags you down and I'm losing track of what I mean to say or have a point but I'm really fucked right now

>>18488396
Oh yeah, I know the feeling. It is important to acknowledge that mental compulsions are still just that. Compulsions. It is not a part of you, it is your illness. You aren't less worthy because of this. Also, different people react differently to treatment. That's why there are so many conflicting articles. It may be possible for you to get rid of these compulsions entirely or almost entirely, however that journey starts with learning to ignore the compulsions. If you start to not care, your brain may just stop producing them. Right now, you are reacting very strongly and that only engages your brain further. It's a vicious cycle.

>>18488429
I try to stay positive by thinking of compulsions that I've had in the past that came and gone that are actually even remotely similar to the ones I have now but I see horror stories of people that stay in fight or flight 24/7 and have never gotten any better. I'm sorry if this comes across as whiney but it's good to come across someone who's on the same page as myself that may get what I mean better, I feel if I told anyone without experience they'd think I was beyond help

>>18488451
That's the spirit, anon. You can do it if you persevere, even if it seems like a daunting task now. You can always turn back, no matter how far gone you seem to be. Hell, I used to doubt my fucking age because of OCD and I have recovered from that
Brain is an incredibly plastic organ. And don't worry, you aren't being whiney. Or just a little bit, but we all have those moments when we need to confide in someone and you're going through a difficult time. I understand.

>>18488476
Thanks a shit load mate, This is making me feel the best I have in at least 2 weeks, I get it I'd you'd rather not but can I ask you some questions about a few things, I'd make them as less intrusive as possible

>>18488486
No problem, I'm glad that I could help. I had to go through this alone and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. And sure, ask away. I will answer to the best of my ability.

>>18488497
Again, much appreciated this is really helping.
Firstly in terms of your Pure-O what catagory was it under in terms of how they're split into catagories such as Health based, Sexual, Religious, Harm, Somatic and Existential/Philosophical (cause I know not every can be catagorised but just those are the only main areas I know of) and what sort of impact did it initially have like for example did you know it was OCD or think it was part of you and how did you manage to tackle it? Hastily typed word salad I know but I've got to do some tasks as well as reply to this on my phone when I can

>>18488510
Also feel free to decline to answer I respect your privacy

>>18488510
It's okay, I'm responding on my phone Aš well.
Anyway, my OCD could be divided into more categories. One of them was sexual (incestuous, to be exact). I considered it so horrific that I denied it's a part of me from the very beginning. Because of this, it didn't fuck me up as much as it probably could have otherwise. I have gotten rid of those permanently through ignoring them, my relationship with my family is normal and I'm in a healthy relationship with my SO.
Another facet of my OCD is something I can't categorize well, but it's basically reading OCD. It stems from the fear that I can't understand written text, so I need to read it over and over and over and constantly analyze what I have read. This one still returns from time to time and it's especially ironic considering the fact that I am super talentem at learning languages and comprehension in general, but that's how OCD works. It attacks what you love the most. I mostly dealt with it through accepting uncertainty, through accepting that I May be wrong And that is fine.
I never considered them a part of me mainly because I have been dealing with normal OCD a lot and I saw them as other symptoms.

Does that help? Feel free to ask for clarifications.

>>18488547
I fully understand everything you've said, I had a similar experience when I was younger before I was diagnosed with OCD due to fear of being attracted to family members after an intrusive thought but it also passed by ignoring it. You've somewhat touched in my next question which is they say the only difference between an OCD patient and someone who is something is that they "Know" I'm not sure if I am or not anymore because I'm sure some of my obsessions are OCD because I never really felt them before I started worrying but I sometimes tell myself I know I'm sick and its just denial and repression and I don't know what to believe

>>18488577
Yeah, I know what you mean. OCD is tricky in that sense that even worrying about your symptoms constantly can be considered one of compulsions. It's practically living with the ultimate uncertainty. You can be aware of your obsessions, in fact you mostly are, so I don't think that the saying is true. Generally if a) a thought is recurring, b) it bothers you, you can be pretty sure that it is OCD and not you. Remember that you are predisposed to this type of thinking, so this assessment is most likely true.

>>18488592
That does make sense and is more logical now I think of it. One of my obsessions is sexual and ever since then my attraction to women has diminished I do that get that "fire" I once had. Is this proof I'm no longer attracted to them or am I focusing on it too much?

>>18488609
I meant to say do not get the fire sorry

>>18488609
That is difficult to say. It is entirely possible that your obsession is so terrifying to you that it has lowered your sex drive in general. It is definitely possible. Attraction is a mental thing, after all. If you really were attracted to women before, then I think that it's likely that it's your OCD and you will begin to feel that attraction once more when you get over it. Remember, it attacks what you love.

>>18488621
That's definitely the thought I have in the back of my mind but I'm worried (and this sounds stupid) that worrying about being attracted to another group in place of women will make me become attracted to them which is soul destroying because I feel I'm digging a hole I can get deeper into but can't quite get out of. Another problem is that I fear telling people, especially close friends IRL that I'll give them my obsessions by telling them about them especially the sensorimotor ones is this valid?

>>18488630
You don't need to worry about that at all, that's actually super common when it comes to sexual OCDs. Fear of your orientation changing is a textbook example and you really, really don't need to worry about it happening. It never happens precisely because it is so unappealing to you. OCD shows you disturbing things on purpose. I understand that it might be difficult with your friends. People tend to... not be understanding when they can't relate. If you want to reach out, you may either a) educate your friends first and then give them details (only choose sensitive friends who are likely to listen with an open mind), b) find a community of OCD people and bond with them. Both approaches have their advantages. OCD people will get you in the ways nobody else can, but old friends are old friends. Maybe you can try both.

>>18488653
My fears about orientation change are extremely unappealing but I sometimes feel that I do like the idea really and that I'm hiding and oppressing a new attraction which I'm sure I'd know about if I really was. In terms of finding a community of OCD people I have contemplated making an account on OCD action or psychforums but I'm scared that will lead to extreme over depending on reassurance. My friends do accept fully and understand for the most part as best they can and one has actually realised they have OCD in recent months but my fear is by talking about my obsessions will trigger them to occur within them, same with yourself as I'm reluctant to explain them I don't want anyone else to live in the hell I currently do.

>>18488681
Well, the only way to really find out is to stop caring so much. I know that it sounds difficult, but right now, your judgment is clouded by OCD. Once it dissipates, you will be able to see it more clearly. Until then, you will always wonder and never find a solution because that's how it works, unfortunately. And I see. Well, I understand this particular fear and the only thing I can really offer is my experience. When I talked about it in detail, I felt relieved which helped me to accept my condition which led to my recovery. It is up to you ultimately, but honestly: what do you have to lose? You experience these obsessions anyway, right? So what if you trigger them? It will happen if you don't do anything anyway. And maybe it will help as it helped me. You can only gain something here, not lose.

>>18488716
My two main fears stem from the fact that saying it aloud will somehow cement it and it'll be there forever which I know is absolutely absurd but I fear talking about my obsessions related to body function will make my friends get them too and even if a told a psychiatrist I'd somehow trigger it in them. But I feel that I need to get them off me one way or another.

>>18488724
Do you know what is a good thing about what you have just told me? That you realize how absurd it is. This is your greatest weapon against OCD. Your intellect can beat this challenge. You're stronger than your illness. It doesn't have to happen today or tomorrow or the next week, there's no time limit. One day, though, you'll be able to speak about it and you will feel better once you get it off your chest. Just try and don't be angry with yourself when you can't do it right away. You will not hurt anyone by voicing your fears, that's just OCD.

>>18488747
You're right man, back when I was in treatment for my contamination fears years ago I was told I was good at identifying the absurdity and when something was me being silly. So saying them is now becoming a tempting prospect, I'm just scared of being told it's not OCD but I'm sure it is, also the physical sensations of my sensorimotor stuff is causing me a lot of discomfort and pain so I'll need to send it treated, I used to use distraction to help greatly but since the sensorimotor stuff kicked off a few weeks ago it doesn't work anymore and doing things I liked now just makes me feel sad I'll never be able to enjoy them fully like I once did. My biggest fear is that this won't go away and I'll just learn to live with the discomfort like I did with my tinnitus which was acheiveable in the end but I don't think I can learn to live with this.

>>18488774
See? You've made it once, you'll make it once again. I'm sure you'll be able to deal with your sensorimotor OCD as well. It's nothing like tinnitus because the cause is purely psychological. Remove that and you will return back to normal. Mind is a powerful instrument, it can fool your body into acting in strange ways. Now I'm not sure how comparable it is, but I was literally incapable of reading because of my OCD just few years ago. I originally thought that it couldn't be OCD anymore, that it had to be some kind of dementia, but guess what? It was OCD and now I read five books a week just like I used to when I was a teenager. It'll be good, man. You just can't give up.

>>18488792
I can honestly say with the deepest honesty that reading that is the first time I've felt truley like I had hope in weeks. Thanks anon.
I have a bad habit of comparing all things that I get now to tinnitus because there isn't a way to rid it you just get used to it but I know that's not the same for everything I just feel that it is. With your reading problem I'm now sort of going though a similar problem with music I like. I tell my self "Every time you hear this your breathing obsession will come back, you'll get used to it but I'll always be there" mainly because the night it happened I was up late listening to music and I persevered through a few songs to try and calm and I feel they're now "Tainted" but I hope it'll fade

>>18488821
You're welcome, I am really glad that I could help at least a little. And yeah, I get it, it's only natural to compare things to stuff you have already experienced. People work like that. It's just that sometimes it's detrimental. And if it helps, breathing OCD is actually also very common when it comes to body-related compulsions. The fact that it's common also mean that it's treatable because psychologists know how to deal with it. Anyway, it's pretty late in my timezone, so I'll be heading off to bed soon. If you want to talk again, I can come tomorrow. Or give me a throwaway email and I'll write to you. I don't mind.

>>18488821
However to add to that anxiety, I have some arguments going on inside of my head. The night I got tinnitus I just noticed a ringing which I think quite often most people gets and then goes away Suddenly but it just stuck which is now similar to my sensorimotor problem because when both came a voice in my head just undescribably said "it's gonna stick this time" however I'm sure I'd done some hearing damage because I used to listen to music extremely loudly on earbuds all day for years but my doctor didn't see any true ear damage but I'm convinced that caused it, although I have seen spontaneous tinnitus in people and I'm scared that the mind will perpetuate this and I'll live with it for ever like I have with the tinnitus

>>18488853
Sure thing man I really appreciate all the help given I don't really have a throwaway I'm sorry, but maybe the thread won't 404 for a long time. Thank you

>>18488864
Alright, good night for now, then. I'm too exhausted to respond properly, so I'll return and do so if the thread still exist. Or, if you ever feel anxious again, try making a similar thread at a similar time. I'm here often, chances are I'll respond. Good luck and good night for now.

This was genuinely wholesome as fuck.

>>18488271
go to bed, Paul

>>18490013
I ain't called paul, this is the first thread I've made on this board

>>18488592
>>18488592
>>18488592
>>18488592
>>18488592
New anon here, I've had a lot of OCD symptoms throughout my life and didn't realize they could be this illness until recently. I don't want to self diagnose though. But

I've had thoughts that did bother me, when I was young, like hurting my family or others. But now they don't bother me? The past few months I've been obsessing over this "plan" to hurt people and, it doesn't bother me any more. It's like I flow with it. Like I want it to happen, or I tell myself it's supposed to. It HAS to be this way. The only way I ward off the compulsion to carry it out it telling myself I have to complete a few tasks before I "leave." I can't tell anyone because there's thoughts telling me that I'm betraying myself/my "fate" and that no one will understand or help. And that it has to be this way. Is this OCD or is something else wrong with my brain?

Now, as I try to reply, my phone gives me a connection error, as if the "don't tell anyone or you'll regret it" voice has some sort of physical manifestation

I know logically that it's probably a coincidence. But I cannot fully believe that. There's a part of me that sees this "other way" and thinks it's the real truth. And how could I believe in coincidence? Whatever has taken hold of me is preventing me from getting help whenever I try.

I've been trying to reply to this thread since 11:00 AM. (I've even been able to post on other boards)

>>18490857
OP here, I don't have those particular problems so I can't say for sure but what I think you may struggle with intrusive thoughts. I'll link a site that helps me sometimes and you can see if it matches what you feel. Probably the harm OCD section. https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/

>>18488271
wank it off