I struggle to find a man whose values align with mine. I am

>>18487662
>looking for beta orbiters the thread

>>18487670
Lol, last time I added someone from 4chan they showed up outside my house and threatened to kill me because I rejected them.
I'm not really looking for friends.

I'm picking up what you're putting down.
What brings you happiness?
Not to be confused with, "What do you think would make you happy?"

>>18487662
Well make up your mind you stupid hoe!

You can't have both.
Either choose your career, or choose a man. With whatever one you choose, the other you'll have to settle with.

>>18487675
>What brings you happiness?
In a relationship, or in my life in general?

>>18487682
I'd rather be single than being with a man who wants me to give up on my friends or my career.
Not even half a doubt.

>>18487662
I'm in the same boat op. 22 yr old male. Recently got out of the mil. Going to school for engineering. Everyone my age wants to drink and fuck and be disgusting degenerates. Or go to church 3 days a week and be hard core religious.

I'm not religious and I browse 4chan daily but i workout and exercise constantly, eat healthy, and come from a successful upper middle class family, own a $45k truck, etc.

I just want a healthy, non degenerate white woman to make white babies with and live an upper middle class successful life.

Why is that so hard to find?

>>18487692
I look forward to you saying this to yourself when you approach 35 and onward.

>>18487662
It sounds like you are in need of somebody normal, in good sense of the word, who is not extremely guarded, but who is not over the top either.

I assure you, to find people you want to meet, go to places where you want your future husband to go to. Think about it first. If you meet him first in a library, chances are he is well-read and well-adjusted. If you try and meet him at the cafe, he is probably somewhat social and laid back.

Don't go to the bars, if you don't want your future bf to be one of those people who frequents the bars often. It's quite simple really.

>>18487662
I think there's plenty of people like us op, just that current dating culture is "fuck some a lot, hope you become friends, fall for each other, try to become exclusive, and then start the actual relationship."

I would suggest you find "shy" guys in decent places(if you're in college still it should be easy) and you make the first move, start talking to them, nothing crazy.

I think most people find what you're looking for when they get older and are locked into a career and they meet some one else at work that's some what decent and they settle down. I don't think that's very good either.

Also could you be over thinking some ones intentions? there's a lot of girls that assume just because a guy is talking to them, trying to get to know them or being nice they just want sex from them.

>>18487692
Life in general

>>18487697
I don't want to be with a person who doesn't care about me enough to let me be happy.
A man who wants me to give up on people I love or on my dreams isn't a man I want to spend my time with. It's really just self respect.

>>18487693
I don't think that it is necessarily disgusting to party or have casual sex, just not something I want to do.
I just find it hard to bond with someone who is out getting drunk every weekend or gets stoned every evening, or in general we don't have the same expectations from the relationship because I don't want to fuck after a couple of hours we know each other.
Same with the more conservative people - we don't expect the same things out of the relationship.

I am pretty happy with my life, but yeah - it's pretty hard to find someone to share that life with.

>>18487710
Your real advice pains me as a man in some similar situation as OP. But thanks for it regardless.

Don't get ideas though OP. I'm too damaged to see past you having male friends.

>>18487662
There's billions of men in the world. Yes someone shares your feelings, you aren't a unique, special snowflake.

>>18487710
>I assure you, to find people you want to meet, go to places where you want your future husband to go to.
That's really good advice. Thank you.
I'll think about it for a little bit and try to see where I could go to meet people.

>>18487711
I could approach someone, yeah. People in school with me usually fall in the "fuck around and get wasted" group, so I don't really had much luck with them.

>Also could you be over thinking some ones intentions?
I don't think so, no. I usually don't assume people's intention till they make them clear.

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>>18487692
>rather be single
Be careful what you wish for.

Tried online dating yet?

>>18487712
>Life in general
Taking care of my loved ones, both family and friends. Being outside in nature. Learning new things. Art. Being good at my job.

>>18487724
>I'm too damaged to see past you having male friends.
I really can't get people who aren't friends with both genders, but I understand.

>>18487730
I assumed so, but I'm not meeting any.

>>18487662
So you are basically looking for someone like me... But I am on another continent. So good luck with finding your second half.

>>18487746
>Be careful what you wish for.
What's the point of being in a relationship that makes you miserable?

>Tried online dating yet?
For 6 hours but it was disgusting and I quit.

>>18487752
I see, it is clear you feel that something is missing. And the things that you claim make you happy, don't make you feel fulfilled and content. Otherwise you wouldn't be searching for more.

A lot of people search and search and search outwardly for a feeling of fulfilment and purpose - only to find that the solution to this feeling of wanting more, is a strengthening of contentness within yourself.

>>18487756
>makes you miserable
You cant know your ideal partner. You are sort of like guys here with list full of requirements for their future gf.

I suggest you to give some guys a try. It is all about compromises. You never know who is your ideal boy.

>disgusting
What was disgusting about it? What site?

And really, it all boils down where you hunt for boys. If you want some shy introvert dude, you have to hit on him yourself. And still he will be hidden in basement :-)

Also how old are you? Guys at certain age are just only into casual sex. Try aiming at higher ages.

>btw i would be afraid to let my gf alone with male friends too, that is recipe for cheating to happen

>>18487769
I am happy with myself and my life. I am happy of the person I am and the things I am doing, and the person I am becoming.
I want a relationship because I want to share this happiness with someone I love, because I want someone to dedicate myself to, because I ultimately want a family and having a romantic relationship is the first step towards that.

>>18487772
>You cant know your ideal partner.
Not really. I know that being a housewife wouldn't make me happy because I have ambitions and desires that would be unfulfilled, or that being told that I can't hang out with my friends would make me unhappy.
A relationship with someone who expects me to do those things would make me miserable.

>What was disgusting about it? What site?
The dynamics are screwed. It's a people catalogue and you just stay there and get picked. It was pretty dehumanising and sad. I dislike the dynamic in general.

>Also how old are you?
21.

>i would be afraid to let my gf alone with male friends too, that is recipe for cheating to happen
I never cheated and never had anything romantic with guys I consider friends.

>>18487796
Would a perfectly content person search outwardly for anything?

>>18487796
Maybe if I understood what you perceived as happiness, I would better understand what it is you are yearning for through a partner

>>18487805
>>18487808
>Would a perfectly content person search outwardly for anything?
I doubt anyone is perfectly content. I personally know I will never be perfectly content even in the happiest relationship or in the most ideal setting, I always want more.

I desire a romantic partnership. Someone to confide in, to share myself with, to be loved by. I someone to build a family with.
I have plenty of things that bring me joy and make me feel content, but I do desire to be in a relationship and to love someone.

>>18487796
>21
>wants husband material boy
Try dating 26+.

>human catalog
Dating is about browsing human catalog in your area. You dont have to wait to be picked up, you can try pick boys yourself.

My shit advice for you is to finish your school and either ease up on pursuing boys or try even harder. Feminazis claims equality so go and hunt your ideal boy yourself.

>not being housewife
What does this mean? Do you even want children?

>>18487845
>Try dating 26+.
An age gap of 5 or more years at my age is pretty big.

I have zero problems hitting on guys myself or asking people on dates, I made the first move more than once. But they expect me to be down to fuck quickly, which I am not.

>What does this mean? Do you even want children?
That I don't want to be a housewife. I want a job.
I do want kids, in a few years, and ideally I'd stop working or work less when they're very young and then go back full time when they start pre-school.

>>18487674
>Lol, last time I added someone from 4chan they showed up outside my house and threatened to kill me because I rejected them.
hahahaha

OP, you're still really young. Given that you're still in school, it's probably going to be difficult to meet someone as settled as you're looking for. I do recommend dating a little older, as people will have matured a little bit as their careers and lives mold into shape. I fit most of the traits you're looking for (except maybe I drink too much), but I didn't really grow into those traits until I was 27 or 28. At 21, I still had months left on my degree, and then took years to really get my career on course. I was 25 when that rounded into its early form.

My second best recommendation is going to be to try to give online dating a second try. Your mindset about it sounds really poor. You get out of it what you put in, and instead of "waiting to be picked," be proactive and find the profiles of guys you think match what you like. Use OkCupid instead of Tinder, where they ask personality questions, and you have to fill out a profile, so you can understand what kind of person you're talking to.

That's the beauty of online dating, you get to pre-screen people instead of dealing with the random crapshoot that is talking to someone in a bookstore or bar or on the street.

>>18487756
>For 6 hours but it was disgusting and I quit.
you sound closed minded to me. why call it disgusting? thats pretty judgemental. it was not for you, okay. but disgusting?

>>18487692
enjoy your cats and dildos dear because men don't care about your income they care about your fertility and youth. the pool of men is going to get even smaller as you get old.

>>18487892
Just to be clear - I don't want someone settled with a house and a high paying job or whatever, just someone with some direction in life and responsible.
I do understand I might have to date older, yeah. I just feel weird about age gaps.

I might give online dating a second try. It just felt awful and very dehumanising. But, of course, I didn't really try.
People my age are mostly on tinder tho, which is what I tried, but it was genuinely shit.

>>18487908
Because to me it was disgusting. I'm glad if it works for someone else, for me it was disgusting and made me feel deeply uncomfortable.

>>18487911
I like my field. Every second I spend studying or working makes me happy.
It is not about income, it is about my personal aspirations and desires. I'd rather spend my life alone with my dog than not fulfil my aspirations.

>>18487951
tick tock tick tock your fertility window is closing are you sure about that? I hope you don't get desperate at the last minute and regret everything before its too late. in fact their is a threat up on /adv/ right now about bitter old women who never married and who is jealous of her friend who is getting married.

>>18488080
I'm 21, I have 15 more fertile years. My "fertility window" is wide open.
I also am just saying that I wouldn't want to be with a man who wants me to be a housewife or to not go out with my friends, not that I don't want to marry ever.

>>18487951

You can still find at least SOME people your age on OkCupid, especially since you're at that age where people are getting out of college and don't have the classroom to connect in anymore. POF might be slightly better. I can understand not liking Tinder - but you're almost guaranteed not to meet anyone matching what you're looking for on there. It's mainly for casual sex.

And yeah, I didn't think you wanted someone 100% locked in to their lives, but there's still a ton of people at your age that are going to get out of college and be... lost for a bit. It can be a real shock to the psyche to go immediately from spring breaks, winter breaks, and three months off during summer, along with all holidays, to suddenly being stuck with at best a week off, and no holidays. I and a lot of my friends rebelled against that early on.

Again, just try different dating sites than Tinder. That's the worst of the worst.

Does it matter if the guy isn't good looking? If he's good looking and has his shit together, why would he choose you? He has his pick of the litter. If he's not good looking, but has his shit together - he probably already has what he wants too. Are you good looking? That might be your only shot.

>>18488140

Many's idea of "good looking" is different. People come in a lot of different flavors. Since she's only asking for someone who has a general path in life, I don't think she's being too picky.

Also, you "oh God you'd better settle for an ugly dude" people are projecting something hard. You can live a very happy life while single, but still looking for the right person.

>>18488140
>Does it matter if the guy isn't good looking?
Well, I wouldn't date someone I am not attracted to, no.
I don't think I am too picky when it comes to looks: I dated guys who worked as models and guys my friends considered ugly as fuck.

> If he's good looking and has his shit together, why would he choose you?
Because I am cute to look at, a very loving and caring partner, have my shit together and am fun to be with.

>Are you good looking?
Decently good looking, yes. A 7/10 I'd say. I'm thin, tall-ish, with some curves, I have a cute face.
Never had issues attracting guys.

>>18488131
I'll give it a try with OkCupid or POF.

Any things I should pay attention to or advice on what to write on my profile?

>>18487831
At least you're honest with yourself about it.

>>18488194

I always prefer straightforward honesty on there. Express what you want, the kind of guy you're looking for. It gives you a couple of prompts, and you can answer some questions so you get a match % with someone that's compatible with you.

You're definitely going to get a fair amount of messages from guys who will just say "hi" or "wanna fuck," but work to filter them out and you'll find some well-intentioned guys out there. Give it a little bit of time, and don't get discouraged. I'd advise saying you're interested in a wider range of ages than you really would think in your head, because you might find someone who surprises you, looks younger than you expect, has more in common with you than expected, etc.

It's different out there for guys and for girls, but just approach it with hope, message guys if you think you'll like them, and go from there.

>>18487662
>I struggle to find a man
>I'm struggling to find a Chad
ftfy

>>18488248

>everyone who isn't a sad sack loser like me is "chad"
>he's to blame for all of my problems
>why doesn't someone want to settle for my loser ass

Being single is better than dating a loser piece of shit, no matter what gender you are.

>>18488248
I don't want to fuck a random hot dude. I could find one in 10 minutes, if that was what I wanted.
I want to meet someone compatible.

>>18488247
Is saying that I want a committed relationship and I want to take things rather slow too forward? How can I word in in a way that doesn't sound like I want to wait till marriage?

>I'd advise saying you're interested in a wider range of ages than you really would think in your head, because you might find someone who surprises you, looks younger than you expect, has more in common with you than expected, etc.
What do you think is appropriate? I'd go for 19-29 if I had to really stretch it.

Completely understand you, OP. I was one of these chicks always looking out for the right guy, I had so many bad dudes worshipping me, but all they saw was my looks and that fascinated them so much that they thought they knew my personality and ''admired'' it. Total bullshit.

I met my husband from pure luck. I was looking for a job and he happened to be in the same field as me, he was the first person that ever actually listened to my stories and wasn't pushing himself on me. Basically, he treated me like an equal and that's what made him the one for me. He has morals, very smart and average in looks, but he always puts effort into us and that is something no one else ever could do for me.

I have no Idea how to find a guy either by the way, but with time a decent guy might show up. Have to mention as well, a lot of relationships are hard and rocky in the beginning, but once you work the small issues out it's all worth it.

>>18488275

Yeah, you should be able to lay it out - I would just say somewhere in your opening section that you're not looking for hookups. It's 50/50 on saying you want to take it slow, maybe you can do that if someone messages you.

I personally like to wait at least a week and five messages back and forth before going out on a real date, but some people will tell you otherwise.

19-29 makes sense. You had said you were nervous about age gaps, so I thought you'd want to go even tighter, but I think stretching it is worth it. It's just a matter of what matches they're going to show you when you search. As a 30 year old guy, I have mine set from 20-35, but realistically, I wouldn't date younger than 22 (almost 23) or older than 33. But you never know if someone extraordinary is going to show up and you didn't see them because your settings were stupid.

>>18487693
>$45k truck,
sounds like upper white trash to me

>>18488281
You just gave me so much hope.

I don't think the guys who ask me out are necessarily bad people, but it just feels like they don't even want to try to get to know me or are interested in me. A lot of them just wanted a quick fuck, but even those I expected to actually want to have some sort of personal relationship with me since they said they wanted something serious, basically just came with a checklist and wanted me to fit in.
I rarely had a guy treat me like a person - I can't think about the last time one of them actually listened to me, or wanted to know what I think or am passionate about. It never felt like someone wanted to actually share a bond or something.
Dating for me felt very dehumanising, this far. I was in a relationship for a few years (started dating when I was 16, broke up last September) and am just trying to date again. It has been all really sad.

I'm sorry for the little rant. I am glad you're happy and you found a good man.

>>18488158

Not projecting - it's the truth unfortunately. Most girls, when they say they want a boyfriend - they are looking at instagram models and asking themselves why they can't just find a 'nice' guy (that conveniently looks like that). The truth is that what catches your eye is usually the top 20% of guys. Not saying anyone should settle, but that's just the way it is. Don't say you want someone whose values align with yours, then follow up and say you want them to be attractive too - that's a lot harder to find. It's not uncommon for girls to be looking for ages whilst the 20% of guys have a field day playing around with all the girls who are smitten by them.

>>18488186
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a dick. Try looking outside your normal circle. Ask yourself - if you were a guy and you had your shit together, were moderately attractive and had good standing with women - how many girls would you fuck before deciding who you wanted to be with? It's likely that number is very high.

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>>18488106
wrong

>>18488361

Maybe I'm in the 20% of guys then, but I'm gonna be honest, a lot of my friends are guys with a whole bunch of middling traits, but they put in an effort, and that's what it takes. I'll admit, if you met me, you'd probably call me "Chad," but it's not stretching for anyone to ask for a guy or girl with a decent job, reliable transport, and the ability to feed themselves and rely on their own agency for life.

Anyways, I gotta step out of this thread, time for a rigorous half day of work.

>>18488339
Oh, that too. Is it weird if I want to message a little bit before meeting up in person?

Realistically, I'd date maybe 21-25. But, as you said, maybe there's someone really worth it and it'd be a shame to not meet someone just because he's a little older or younger than I'd prefer. I surely would be extra cautious with someone much older, but why not giving it a try.

>>18488361
>how many girls would you fuck before deciding who you wanted to be with?
I personally am against casual sex, so really I wouldn't fuck no one I don't care about or wouldn't date long term.
I don't understand fucking around for the sake of it.

>>18488374

I personally feel like if someone isn't well written enough to hold up a week or two of conversation online, they're not worth my time in person. Others feel like chemistry can only be established if you meet. It's all up to you.

>>18488383
>I personally feel like if someone isn't well written enough to hold up a week or two of conversation online, they're not worth my time in person.
I feel the same. I can also be a little shy around strangers, so probably chatting a little bit online could help me feel a little more relaxed.

I'll give it a try. Thanks for all the tips, you've been very patient.

>>18487662
dude, its a shame we dont know each other irl..
i find myself in a similar spot to be honest..
im not quite unhinged to fit with the "cool" people nor I subscribe to the normie life to a great degree.

>>18488374

Perhaps it's different for guys, but you see where I'm going with this: the guys you're looking for might already be taken, or not interested in you. That doesn't mean you should settle, but rather be more patient.

I had ridiculously high physical standards for girls before, but after a while, I realised what was really important and now I don't mind so much. It wasn't really that I settled, but rather I realised what was important to me and grew as a person.That could happen to you too OP.

>>18488413
I'm willing to be patient, I'm just wondering if I'm doing something wrong or have weird expectations.

I honestly don't feel like I have extremely high standards.
I'm not very picky on looks. I just want someone who is on the same page as me when it comes to relationship and in life in general. I can't see myself settling for someone who is different from that because I can't see how a relationship would work, or why they'd even want to date me.
Then, feel free to contradict me.

>>18488343
Believe me, I know white trash well.

White trash is a late 90's pickup with over 100k miles and thousands of dollars of lifts, tires, pipes, sound system etc dumped into it while still looking and sounding like shit.

My truck is all stock, no stickers or aftermarket bullshit, meticulously maintained and clean, and reliable/presentable. Just like everything else in my life.

Well, except the relationships part

Same age as you, OP. In literally the exact same situation.

My question is, where do I even find someone like you? I feel like there are no women at 21 who think like this.

>>18488475
On 4chan, I guess! And on OkCupid soon.

I am in school. I volunteer at a paediatric clinic. I go swimming 3 times a week and running 4 times a week. Hang out with my friends during the weekends. Other than that, I really just study, read, shitpost or spend time outside with my dog.

What do YOU do anon? Where do I find you?

Holy crap, this bait thread got up to 60 posts. Looks like I >>18487670 was right again. You guys really are pathetic

>>18487662
What's your major?
I had a friend who said she couldn't date anyone she couldn't respect. She also said she couldn't date anyone in the same field as her because she knew she would constantly compare.

I think it's going to be inherently difficult for you because while you are struggling to find men with values that align with yours, Because as you've mentioned before, most lie in the extremes. It will be rare to find those that are able to balance it out between the two, because it is easier to be on an extreme rather than on some vague middle ground that requires some actual thinking.

I personally like to think that I am on the middle ground. I prefer to talk it out (so long as they are capable of doing so) rather than demanding my way. The difficulty is when the other person is not on the same level of intellect or expresses their feelings by attacking the other rather than just stating what they want.

To be completely honest with you, I still haven't found anyone that is able to exist on a similar kind of middle ground/wavelength. So I agree with you that it is very difficult to find someone like that. I mean, just think about what you are asking for.

>Has their shit together
>Doesn't really party/do drugs
>Motivated
>Responsible

>Not into casual sex
>(Not a "nice guy")
>Not afraid of getting cucked (natural fear for most guys)

Also, I understand where you are coming from with the whole, "You should be friends with both genders." Because I also have friends with both genders (although I myself am a male). There's just some things you can talk to girls about and others that you can talk to guys about.

>>18487662
cont'd from 18488567

With regards to how to find people like that... I can't really offer much. I, myself, don't really have a place that I frequent. I wander around searching for other people like me. Out of all my friends, there is only one that at least tries to understand me. I've never actually dated before. I dunno why but older ladies love me. Like I just need to exist and they will all rave about me to my mom or talk with me 24/7. Most girls don't give me the chance. One girl once told me that she was initially down to try but she got scared once she realized I was also into her... Another one just couldn't see herself ever being in a relationship. There was another girl who was attracted to me, but I asked if we could get to know one another first. I dunno what was wrong with that request but she ended up with another guy a few weeks later. So.... I've more or less stopped thinking about dating/marriage now.

>>18488521
I've had pretty bad experiences meeting people off 4chan, as I'm sure you're familiar with. I don't know if it's just my area (Portland), but OKCupid seems to be filled with extreme feminist and/or political types, potheads, or just immature people in general.

I'm just working for the summer right now, while continuing towards my dream career. I go out a few times a week when I'm not working to do some photography. I exercise, but only at home. So, I really wouldn't know where you'd find me besides online or if some divine occurrence brought our kind together irl.

I guess I should volunteer at different places, then. Maybe I'll find more empathetic, kind and possible like-minded people through that.

>I want to have a job
>but I want to have kids
>I want a relationship
>but I want to prioritize my friends over my partner
Wew. You really fell for the "you can have it all" meme, didn't you? Society is fucked.

>>18488596
ayyyy not OP but I live in Beaverton anon. The Portland area is nice but depending on where you live, the concentration of extreme feminist and/or political types, potheads, or just immature people increases greatly...

>>18488567
>>18488581

>What's your major?
Mathematics.

>I prefer to talk it out (so long as they are capable of doing so) rather than demanding my way.
I don't hold grudges against people who aren't like me. It's just very hard because guys who want to fuck on the first date won't stay around enough to actually get to know each other, and I really have zero interests in dating someone who will want me to be a stay at home mom or will hate me for going out for a beer unless I bring them around.
I do try to talk it out, but when people pressure you because you aren't sucking their cock on the 2nd date it's not like there's much you can do.

I don't care if someone parties sometimes, or if they don't have everything sorted out already, or if they aren't over-achievers. Just, really, be on the right path to be a decent adult. Do your best at whatever you are doing, be responsible, don't be constantly drunk or stoned.
I wouldn't be completely opposed to someone who has fucked around, if they're willing to wait for me and obviously stay monogamous once we're together. I don't mind jealousy as long as it is not to a pathological level.
I just want someone normal. It seems so hard to find someone normal.

I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience with dating. Hope it gets better!

>>18488618
Both my parents work and they have two kids. None of my friends had a stay at home mom either.

I don't want to prioritise my friends over my partner, but I'm not going to give up on my friends just because my boyfriend is afraid of getting cheated on.
If he can give me a rational reason why I shouldn't hang out with my friends without him or have male friends, fine - if it is just to soothe his paranoia, I'm not going to deal with it.

>>18488596
Yeah, very familiar with bad experiences meeting people off 4chan. Fucked up shit.
I haven't had much luck with the volunteering shit - met one of the hyper conservative guys there. But maybe you'll be luckier.
Wish you the best anon, you seem to be a good guy.

>>18487662
Check out your local computer science department. I'm not even joking, like half of us don't do those things and some are even good looking with cool interests. But you have to accept that those are pretty introverted.

>male "friends"

Oh look, another retarded (on purpose or not) young woman that believes there are men out there that don't secretly want her to gag on their cocks. This is the reason you'll always be the retarded sex.

>>18488625
>I just want someone normal. It seems so hard to find someone normal.
You say normal but normal can be based on a standard or by the average. Clearly, what you mean is normal based on a standard. And finding that kind of a standard will be tough. You would think that you'd find more people like that at college, but it rarely seems to turn out that way. Sorry to hear your dates are usually only in on it to get lucky, but that's the average male for you. Honestly, I dunno what those guys think. Females have significantly more worth as human beings rather than objects...

> Mathematics
Nice, mathematics. You can't go wrong with that. statisticians are really in right now. As a side note, I majored in Biochemistry with a minor in Biology and Mathematics.

>Hope it gets better!
Eh... not sure if it will get better. I'm heading on to medical school next year where I won't have time to date. Then after becoming a doctor, most girls will just want to date/marry me for my money. It'll get harder from there :(

>>18487662
I dont know where you are looking but the only people I know who do any of these things are idiots who Ive met about once

>>18488644
Thanks anon, best of luck to you as well! You seem sharp so I'm sure you'll be fine, just have some patience.

>>18488657
>But you have to accept that those are pretty introverted.
I'm introverted as well, I don't mind.

I don't know how I'd meet them, tho.

>>18488672
I have both males and females in my friends circle, like normal people do. We have been good friends since we were 14.
I am really close to one of the guys, we never had anything romantic going. Most people are capable of bonding with both genders.

>>18487674
The last time I met someone from 4chan I ended up dating them for two years.
It's still one of my most fond relationships ever and it's a shame it had to end.

>>18488694
I mean, I am sure it might turn out right - but the crazy stalker thing happened a month and half ago so I'm not going to take risks adding someone from here for a while.

>>18488685
I don't know, maybe you are luckier than me.
I rarely meet someone my age who doesn't get drunk every weekend or smokes.
And really most of the guys I went out with want to have sex right away and aren't willing to date more than 3-4 dates.

Met people while hanging out with my friends - mostly friends of friends, people who hit on me while we were at college events, etc.

>>18488701
That's fine.
Also I'm not the person you're talking to about this, but people who hit on you in public are 90% douchey and shit relationship material. Try having your friends set you up with someone or meet people online where your preferences can shine, because otherwise you're just gonna meet a bunch of shitty people.

>>18488644
And what are your friend's relationships with their family like? How often do they go through breakups because they're fucking other men/their partner is cheating on them? How is your own relationship with your family? I'm willing to bet it's not a good one.

And for paranoia, you're only paranoid until proven wrong. The same reason you don't leave your wallet out for the taking or leave your car unlocked is the same reason you don't leave your partner with members of the opposite sex. People need help being honest, and the refusal to prioritize a long-term partnership/relationship over acquaintance maintenance shows that you care more about social status than pair bonding.

You sound like an uppity PNW female. I'd bet cash on it.

>>18488711
My friends literally suck at setting me up with people. Went on two blind dates they organised and it was terrifying.
I might try the online dating, I'm pretty sure I will.

>>18488721
Yeah friends usually are like that. Online worked for me, might work for you.
Best of luck, cheers.

>>18488717
I have a great relationship with my parents. I love them a lot, visit once a week at least, call daily.
My friends, it depends. Some worse, some better. Mostly pretty good, tho.
80% of my close friends are in long term relationships. One of them cheated once. They had 3 relationships at most.

You either mistrust me or think my friends are going to rape me. I am not willing to be with someone who thinks so low of me or my friends.
I don't prioritise a my friends over a relationship, but I am not willing to give up on my loved ones just because you are paranoid. It is not about social status, it is about being decent and self respecting. A man who tells me who I can or cannot hang out with isn't the kind of man I want to be with.

You lost your cash.

>>18488717
PNW "females" are generally asexual hambeasts.

>>18488625
You don't want something "normal" though.
Obviously if it was normal you would have encountered it by now.

Most people don't make plans when they're barely in their 20s because they either don't know what they want, or are worried there are things they do want but don't know about.

You're a mathematician so maybe you've heard of the Optimal Stopping problem ( If not look it up it's really interesting ). This is the "game" most people are playing in their lives; looking for the unknown best outcome according to the expectations set by some large sample.

You say you already know what you want, but unfortunately this is NOT where most of your peers are. You HAVE to wait for them to get to phase 2 of the problem ( getting over non-committal stage), and then join the game.

So to paraphrase you either have to get lucky and find a unicorn, waitil you're older, or date older men.

>>18488746
>Optimal Stopping problem
Made me smile more than it should.

As every young person says, I am probably more mature than the average girl my age. I was very ill growing up and spent a large part of my teenage years in and out of hospital.
I probably have more need for stability and am more responsible than most people in their 20s.

I still feel weird about dating older men. But maybe I'll get over myself and give it a try.

>>18488735
Let's reverse the situation and see if it balances then.

Your partner is going out to clubs with his single female friends. He chooses not to invite you. He does this multiple times. You ask him what he's up to and why you aren't being invited, to which he replies, "Don't you trust me? Can't you respect my choices? They're just friends." Are you comfortable with this? Does this ring any alarm bells for you?

Protip: something out of the ordinary is going on.

>>18488743
Not all of them have been assimilated yet, but it's looking to be that way. Thankfully, libs don't breed so it should be a self correcting problem.

>>18487715
>I don't want to be with a person who doesn't care about me enough to let me be happy.
A man who wants me to give up on people I love or on my dreams isn't a man I want to spend my time with. It's really just self respect.
Can u expand on this because it reads like "I want to do whatever I want and a man should be lucky to be around me."
DREAMS DONT PAY THE BILLS BUT THEY CAN FUCK UP YOUR CREDIT SCORE

>>18487662
I know this struggle. I don't have any concrete solutions if you're heterosexual. My solution (because I'm bi) was a woman. Obviously it's very difficult to be a conservative authoritarian traditional asshole in a lesbian couple, but she's not into partying etc. and we both have our shit together. I basically gave up on men after a few years. You just got either one or another.

>>18488778
There is literally nothing wrong with waiting though.

Similar "mature for my age" story here too. Dad died in my teens, and I had to grow up pretty quick. Didn't fit in with that many people, so I focused the first half of my 20s on assorted hobbies and sticking to personal goals and I don't regret it one bit.

It's getting lot easier to my friends now that they're taking more about financial growth and less about "banging sluts".

>>18488795
I don't mind if my boyfriend hangs out with single girls. I don't want to be invited every time he goes out, I wouldn't even ask "what's up". If he wants me to go out with him, he'd ask.
I'm not a very jealous person in general, tho.

Also - I don't go out to clubs. In my group of friends there is one single male, all other guys are taken. We hang out for a beer or for dinner, usually. Sometimes we invite our SOs out, sometimes we don't invite SOs, sometimes we hang out in smaller groups.
I have one male friend I hang out one on one sometimes, and that's it. I've been friends with him for literally all my life (our moms are best friends). He's getting married next year.

>>18488797
What do I need to expand on?
I am not a hippy. I don't dream of being an instagram model or a footprint painter. I am up for a fairly lucrative and relatively safe job.
I absolutely love studying. I love working because it gives me purpose and ultimately happiness.
A man who wants to take away work from me doesn't love me or care about me, because he's asking me to give up on something that gives me happiness. It is really as simple as that.

>>18488816
Yeah, completely straight.
I am very happy for you, tho. I'm glad things worked out.

>>18487662
So you're basically looking for me

>>18488835
I definitely could and probably should.
I'm just a complete sucker for romance, I love being in a relationship.

You're right, anyway. I hope things improved for you!


I have to go now, thanks everyone for the advice (especially the super patient guy who replied to all my online dating questions).

>>18488657
But those are neeeeeerds.


All I want is a nice guy who I can really connect with on a personal level, who loves me for who I am, and who is a billionaire CEO, 6'6 with the face of a model and the muscle of an Olympic athlete, who's smart funny confident brave daring caring generous wise interesting and has a 9 inch dick that jizzes chocolate.

Is that so much to ask?

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>>18488874
Have you ever considered that people in relationships have to make compromises for the sake of their partners? That, perhaps, it's not all about individual happiness, but shared happiness? That sometimes, and I want you to stick with me here, sometimes partners do things, hold on, SOMETIMES PARTNERS DO THINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO DO TO MAKE THEIR SPOUSE HAPPY FOR THE SAKE OF THE RELATIONSHIP. HOLY SHIT.

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>>18487662

>I've met very few people who weren't into hooking up and partying

I never understood this meme.

>>18487662
I noticed no one asked a pretty important question to answer this properly.

Where are you located? If in the US, what state? Different regions have different demographics and cultures.

>>18489018
>needing to ask a woman that

>>18489018
>>18489093

Hey, shitbuckets, compromise means both sides give up something to come to a mutual agreement.

It doesn't mean you get to scream "REEEEEEEEE ROASTIES" at every girl until she accepts that you can't handle a single other penis being in the vicinity or that she needs to cook your meals and be your new mom.

A compromise should never mean that you sacrifice your dreams unless it's a toxic relationship.

>>18489257
>t. woman who expects a boyfriend to be her new father she can boss around

>>18489445

Nah bro, just a dude who isn't a virgin.

>>18489028
It's easy, just don't look in any places except where people who like hooking up and partying go

>>18489449
Women shouldn't have those kinds of aspirations in the first place though. The whole 'dreams' thing is pretty much a male thing.

This is why OP has come upon this problem. This is her problem. She can't have her cake and eat it too. What she calls 'not wanting to fall on either extreme' everyone else knows better than to not call what it really is, reality.

>>18489462

Cool, another 19 year old who thinks the 50s were the pinnacle of society.

I'm getting to the point where I can't decide whether or not I'm being trolled anymore. She's 21 fucking years old. Not even out of college. She's really not taking huge leaps to want to have some autonomy in her life, and date someone with goals and some direction.

Again, I'm probably getting baited... but realistically, even as the most bitter guys, we should want a woman who can support herself, so we don't end up having to support her ass later.

None of you can figure out what the fuck you want.

>>18489512
Wow calm down fag she's not your girlfriend yet.
Actually, she won't be ever. So turn the whiteknight dial down a peg or ten.

>>18489512
>the 50s
Because women sure were sexually and economically liberated throughout all of recorded history

And no, we should not want a woman who can support herself. That is unnatural and fucks deeply with the balance of a relationship. OP herself doesn't even want that. Any guy on here who reads this thread and actually has the first bit of experience with women and insight into their states of mind knows this thread is not a single step beyond a girl getting out of a relationship, losing her provider, and going on to seek out a new one. That's what this thread is.

>>18489512
>Cool, another 19 year old who thinks the 50s were the pinnacle of society.

Actually more like 1939. And there's going to be a lot more of us in the future.

well isn't this thread a pile of hot garbage?

OP, you can't have it all. and no, if you were my gf, I would not be comfortable with you partying with dudes without me around. being a dude, I know how those dudes think, I might trust you, I don't trust you drunk and I certainly don't trust them.

welcome to relationships. by the same token I'm not going to go get drunk with a bunch of hot party sluts without you around.

its called compromise. get over yourself.

as for career, go for it, but I want 3 kids at least and I'm not about to give them shit baby formula nutrition and a nanny. they'll need to be breast fed and taken care of by an actual mother.

you decide OP, but there is not a single conservative, traditional man that isn't going to think similarly. good luck.

>>18487710
>I assure you, to find people you want to meet, go to places where you want your future husband to go to. Think about it first. If you meet him first in a library, chances are he is well-read and well-adjusted. If you try and meet him at the cafe, he is probably somewhat social and laid back.

This is real good advice.

>tfw want your SO to be someone that doesn't leave the house

WELP

I'm about to go to bed.

>>18489597
I don't get drunk ever. I never cheated on anyone and certainly my friends have never forced me into anything sexual.
I don't care if you get drunk around "hot party sluts", I assume you have some self control and not hang around people who'd rape you.
We're not compromising, you're imposing me what you want.

>taken care of by an actual mother.
The actual father could also help take care of them. My dad and my mom both worked less hours when we were young in order to take care of us. My mother was my sole caregiver just till I needed to be breastfed, then my dad started taking time off.

I also don't necessarily want a conservative/traditional man, either.


>>18489018
What kind of "compromise" is this?
A compromise is two people finding a middle ground.
A man who tells me that he expects me to be a housewife, to give up on things that I worked very hard for and deeply love, to give up on my friends in order to not get shit is not compromising with me.
I'm not interested in this great deal where I lose things that make me happy to gain a life that makes me miserable with a man who doesn't respect me, I'm sorry.

>>18489028
>>18489457
What are those places?
I volunteer, go to school and do sports. I meet people through those things, but they still mostly fall into the two "types".
Other than that, I have a normal social life and meet people when I'm out with my friends.

>>18489662
>I'm not interested in a life where the natural structure of reality doesn't bend to my selfish and out of place whim.

Just because people told you that's the way things were growing up doesn't mean they were right.

There is such a thing as working your whole life for something only to find out it was a complete and total lie with no real baring in reality.

>>18489662
You tell me where I find girls that are on that middle ground, 'cause like you I'd like to know. You'll see it's impossible.

>>18489673
I blame the jews.

>>18489673
There are plenty of women who manage to work and take care of their family. The majority, actually, does.
The fact that you want a stay at home mother and a housewife is perfectly fine, I'm just not personally willing to do that. I don't see why you should impose that on me or think it is a fair compromise to ask me to give up on my aspirations to please your desires.

>>18489674
>You tell me where I find girls that are on that middle ground, 'cause like you I'd like to know.
What's "that middle ground"?
If you meant a girl like me, as I said - I go to school, volunteer, work out, hang out with friends. I am going to start trying online dating.

You basically never see men say they "need" a woman who makes as much or more than him.

Yet for women it's the standard. Exceptions are extremely rare. Even if she already makes enough money to live comfortable for the rest of her life, she still "needs" an even more wealthy man for some reason.

And somehow people still think the saying "all women are whores" is offensive, or untrue. Sometimes they cling to the excuse that women only grew to want rich men because they were so oppressed and not allowed to have educations or careers that they had no choice. Yet now they have a choice and still all choose the same thing.

>>18489719
I don't understand what this has anything to do with my thread.

I am going to sleep, now. Thank you all.

>>18489693
My point is sweetheart you made a thread about how you were struggling to find a more moderated sort of man.

Reality unfortunately is black and white when it comes to people. At their core.

You're either going to find a guy who has his dignity and integrity intact or you will find a guy who does not. There is no middle ground. Whenever you feel you have noted such within reality it is always an illusion. E.g a guy who you feel has those things intact but is not some overbearing asshole: he is either standing upon the back of his socioculture or really simply is exactly that.

>>18489693
You didn't get my point. You couldn't name a place to "find" a "girl like you", you just named some places you frequent due to your life circumstances. The same obviously goes for the hypothetical equivalent dude.
People like "you" or the "not on the extremes" guy you're searching for are just extremely extremely rare. You can't just "find" them on a place, you either are extremely lucky and run into one such person by happenstance or you don't. Either accept that and keep waiting or settle for less. I know I'm waiting.

>>18487867
>An age gap of 5 or more years at my age is pretty big.
There's no such thing as a big age gap. If you're both above 18, you're ok. I think we understand why you're not finding serious man - it's because your age bracket is the unserious one

>>18490011
Age gaps beyond 3-4 years are pure degeneracy kys absolute loser

>>18487662
Honestly OP I do not think men and women are meant to be happy together. My grandmother told me this once and I thought she was just old and bitter. I have come to realize the truth of this more and more as I grow older.

I am a traditional woman and so is my man but it seems like its still not enough for him, he doesn't care about my needs despite me being a good wife and catering to his needs.

Men seem to act pleasant to get you hooked but they grow meaner and more controlling with each year you are together, and then they stop caring about you all together like you do not exist!

Modern men these day seem to at least be honest about how they view women: as disposable sex objects. No longer do they need to wait for marriage to use you up sexually and then disappoint you emotionally and physically.

I really do think that a man who can actually love a woman and see her as a human being is extremely rare. Usually these men end up with awful women so they become bitter themselves, go figure!

I think it may be best to give up on finding a respectful man. I thought I found one but he just became rotten and uncaring as time went on. Do not trap yourself with a man it is sometimes the worst feeling I have ever felt.

>>18490037
So what are you doing wrong to make your husband treat you that way?

Rhetorical question but answer.

in my country this is normal

if you are a deadbeat "housewife" you need someone wealthy to make ends meet, most ppl arent like that so both ppl have to work

theres no hookup culture apart from teenagers, sluts are shamed usually

drugs are for a special kind of young partigoer audiance

ppl make friends regardless of male or female, its normal

you were born in the wrong place

>>18490048
Attraction just faded after a few years. My looks didn't change and I am still kind and serve him when he comes home.

He will no longer sleep with me or be intimate in any way yet he still looks at porn so I know his dick isn't broken. I would be ok with that if he would actually kiss me once in a blue moon.

He does not seem to care that I suffer emotionally from lack of intimacy which leads me to believe that he does not care about me in general. It also leads me to believe that men get bored with one woman over time so why bother getting married if you are so disposable and replaced by something as simple as porn? He sees me expressing my hurt emotions as "not a big deal" and tells me that "everything is fine" and to not be such a "lunatic".

I really think that men use women to fulfill their needs until they find something else to replace us. In my case it's been porn because he's 100% happy with me being unhappy and him watching porn all the time.

I do everything a good traditional wife is expected to do including gritting my teeth when I am upset yet I do not get any kindness or fulfillment back. My needs are not important to him. I really do think that he does not see me as a person with how I am treated.

My grandmother said that men see us as maids, cooks, and servants. I thought she was crazy but I should have listened.

There were also 0 warning signs as a precursor to this behavior. He used to be a very kind man who made it a priority to impress me and keep me happy. I think men quit this act and start to take women for granted when they realize you cannot leave them (when you have kids).

I have spoken to many other married women and they all experience what I do to some degree so I know that this is not an uncommon role to fall into. Men just seem to stop trying while women often do not. I really suggest OP to go without men because it just seems like living with men comes with more downsides to upsides.

>>18490075
Well I was in a relationship and the opposite was true. I was the one who got upset with her over her neglect and coldness towards me to the point where she ruined my life just to get away from me. And she was totally lucky to have anything to do with me so it really was just her blind and total selfishness.

The women serving men thing is just reality, but at the same time a man should love his woman. But really, you sound like my ex gf before she left her husband for me, complaining all the time about his porn addiction. Point being you would probably just flip flop if given the chance.

>>18490151
Like I said in my previous post good men who cherish women often end up with shit women that turn them bitter. I know there are good guys like you out there but the overwhelming majority of men are not this way according to my personal experience and many women I have talked to. Most of them just seem to take their women for granted and see them as servants who do not have feelings of their own.

I am not sure what you mean by "flip flop" are you saying I would leave him for another man? I've had the opportunity and have decided to stay for my childs sake.

>>18490172
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to claim I'm some sort of good guy, because in terms of not acknowledging women's feelings, I am likely worse than most (only because most of the time I see their feelings as unreasonable). Though I do treat a woman good when I love her. I guess my point is it's a little relative. There are reasons for why he is treating you a certain way and it may be more complex than he's just an asshole. But as men we don't have the opportunity to go around vocalising why and how we do everything we do.

Maybe you are doing something unwittingly to him and his neglect is just a way of coping?

And by flip flop I mean you would assume the opposite role. As in my example, my gf was the "woe is me" victim because her husband was terrible to her, but when she got a man who actually showed her some real love rather than treating her like a fleshlight, it was special at first, but after a year she became exactly who he was, the neglectful, terrible one.

Just like I can't put myself beyond being someone who is very probably also a bit of a selfish asshole, you shouldn't put it past you that you are not this morally infallible creature. We have to sacrifice our happiness in order to control ourselves a lot of the time. So yes, stay for your kid's sake. That might as well be your only purpose, if it can't also be your husband.

>>18490192
Seeing woman's feelings as unreasonable is incredibly hurtful and dehumanizing. This is what my husband does to me and its exactly what I mean when I said men don't really see women as people. Saying that someone's feelings are unreasonable shows lack of empathy and minimization of a woman's needs. This is what I mean when I say women are probably better off without men because the emotional cost of being with them is just too high.

If there is something I am doing that makes him treat me in such an awful way he should tell me instead of completely neglecting my needs and making me feel like my feelings are invalid. No one should ever be treated in such an awful and dehumanizing way even if they are doing something flawed themselves.

As for assuming I would flip flop who knows maybe I would but as of now I have pretty strong morals and its always been important for me to be empathetic and caring towards my partner.

>>18490075
>>18490172
>>18490251
See, this is why I'm so glad I'm bi and was able to circumvent the whole "men don't care about us, will never see us as equal or even as capable of being respected" thing. The only time I have to deal with men is when I'm at work, and that's manageable.

>>18487662
You my lady should meet the fedora wearing gents on /pol/ who desire a traditional non degenerate wife.
As long as you're white.
Go over and introduce yourself.

>>18490282
She doesn't want to be traditional. She's just not a degenerate. There is a middle ground.

>>18490251
But most of the time they just are. They're disproportionate because women have unchecked selfishness a lot of the time.

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>>18489662

>I volunteer, go to school and do sports. I meet people through those things, but they still mostly fall into the two "types".

No, you force people into two types. You generalize people for the purpose of making them fit into the preconceived metrics you've convinced yourself of. Even when you get to know these people your social delusion still forces you to categorize these people and ignore the vast array of complexities that exist in human personalities.

Basically, you're a bit of a judgmental cunt.

>>18490307

>They're disproportionate because women have unchecked selfishness a lot of the time.

I think >>>/r9k/ is the place you're looking for.

>>18490314
>I support my gf to the point where she has no responsibilities whatsoever
>She can't even reciprocate basic emotional support
>I'm a 7 she's a 4

>Women aren't selfish

K bro.

>>18490299
So like normal people?
People you find everyday in everyday locations where they live normal lives and have jobs or college and do sport and sometimes go out, sometimes date etc but mainly live non offensive lives.
Fuck they're so hard to find. Like no where.
> where do you meet these extremes you can't find middle ground?
Probably they're there but you pay them no attention either via other shallow expectations

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>>18490319

>Uses a story about a bad relationship with 1 woman as evidence that all women are selfish

>>18490331
Can you not read. She's like 3 points below me. That becomes a generality in and of itself.

>>18490319
>>18490307

Lets do a little math.

Lets say you meet 100 women. No, 10,000 women and by some strange coincidence they are all objectively selfish. There are roughly 3.5 billion women on this planet, meaning that your experiences with those 10,000 women comprises only 0.0002% of the entire population of women.

0.0002%, anon. A tiny fraction of 1%. Lets apply this logic to the modern world. If I get bitten 0.0002% of the time I pet a dog would it make sense for me to say all dogs bite? If I win scratch off lottery tickets 0.0002% of the time would it make sense for me to claim that the lottery is a great way to make money?

Lets not forget that 0.0002% is a generous estimate. That is 10,000 women. You're just talking about the handful of women you've interacted with.

There is no stretch of logic in this dimension that could possibly validate that your limited experiences with a handful of women is at all indicative of larger pattern. This leaves us with only one conclusion; that you are factually incorrect and are so predictably using this played out "all women are terrible" redpill meme to absolve you of responsibility for being a shitty judgmental hunk of shit that good women avoid like the plague.

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>>18490335

Your idiocy baffles me.

>>18490351
Now don't be selfish anon, he's just hurt and jaded and needs a cuddle.

>>18490312
I went out with 8 guys since I decided to start dating again.

Most of them were personally offended when I didn't want to get physical immediately - if I didn't want to make out with them the night we met, or to have sex with them after a couple of dates, or because I refused to go at their place after 3 dates, or things like this. Got called a prude because I told them they were strangers and I didn't want to move that fast.
Two of them (those I met through volunteering) were more respectful of my boundaries, but expected me to be a woman I am not.

Maybe I've been unlucky. I don't know.

>>18487693
>White woman
Fucking racist.

>>18490357
You seem more attached to rules than people.

>>18490361
I don't feel comfortable being physical with people I don't know well or care about.

>>18490357
I'd say you're unlucky. Perhaps be more open re values you hold very early to avoid later misunderstanding and crushed expectations.
If you're clear early it may help you be discerning earlier as to who meets your values.
By the way being physically attracted and wanting to be physical earlier isn't degenerate, it's people following instinct and you should see it as a compliment, sure have boundaries but don't judge them either for being different.

>>18487674
>they showed up outside my house and threatened to kill me because I rejected them.
PRANKED

>>18490370
I don't think it is degenerate, just not for me. Same way I don't think being a housewife is oppressive, just not for me.
I'm just struggling to meet someone who has compatible expectations relationship-wise.

>>18489741
I don't agree with you.
To me it isn't about integrity or dignity, it is about respect. I want to be with a man who treats me like a person and respects me.
I don't accept to be with someone who treats me like an object, I've never had and never will. If that's my only option, I'd really rather stay alone. I frankly doubt it is my only option.

>>18489803
Yeah, I really didn't get your point. I was exhausted.

>Either accept that and keep waiting or settle for less
I'll keep waiting, there's no way I'd settle for a person I'm unhappy with.

>>18490037
I am sorry you have to feel this way. I hope you can sort things out with your husband.

>>18490404
It is about respect, but you wouldn't date a man just because he respected you. That's just being a beta orbiter which is probably not something you are interested in. You would date a man if he respected himself. And if you respect yourself you keep things like your integrity or dignity intact.

>>18490404
Also:
> there's no way I'd settle for a person I'm unhappy with.
Has it occurred to you that women just aren't meant to be 'happy'? That this idea is just some recent, postmodern thing with no actual baring in reality?

Your self-awareness is so highly concentrated because of the culture you live in that it is naturally just basic narcissism. So life isn't about satisfying your narcissism, but about deconstructing the underlying self-awareness in the first place.

It's just a hard pill to swallow. Simply that the truth is, as it turns out, not in your favour, actually massively inconvenient. But rest assured the same is true for men. We have come accustomed to feeling entitled to a degree of emotional comfort which is completely unnatural.

So, just like a man does not deserve the awareness which underlies their disastrous current levels of emotional comfort, women do not deserve the self-awareness which underlies their exorbitant desire to both have their cake and to eat it too.

Be alone, no one really gives a shit.
7+ billion people on earth. No one gives that you can't find a person to couple with.
Seriously they don't...

>>18488106
>15
More like 9.
Then you have to date ~2 years before the baby can happen so 7 years left. With ~3 long term boyfriends tries left.

>>18490458
Yeah this..

>>18490458
>>18490539
I mean, thanks for the constructive advice I guess.

>>18490487
Pregnancy is relatively safe till mid 30s. No rush, really.

>>18490442
I agree that self respect is important, but your attitude towards casual sex isn't really an indicator of that.

>>18490452
>Has it occurred to you that women just aren't meant to be 'happy'? That this idea is just some recent, postmodern thing with no actual baring in reality?
No one is "meant" to be happy, neither men or women.

I do have a chance to work and build a life that makes me proud and content, I don't see why I shouldn't do that and settle for something I have no interest in.
We're far past our "natural" status. Everything we have and do is completely unnatural.

>>18490652
>We're far past our "natural" status.
You're not.

>>18487662
How old are you? Its hard to find people like that to be honest, especially when you're looking for 18 to 25 year old guys, its mostly partying, "living the life" and all that.

I'm fairly similar and look more or less what you're looking for and I know other guys aren't like me, to be honest, I don't know any guy like me, and if they are there then they're most likely stuck at home playing vidya because introverts don't go outside. If you're not in college then you'll have a hard time finding a guy like that, like I said, they don't really go out to public places.

I'm 22 now and I've done all the drugs I wanted to do, partied excessively and now I'm 'burned out' really, so thats why I decided to stop all that and recently started focusing on myself and what I wanted in life, been trying to settle down but not get married (just starting college now), get a proper job, focus on hobbies on the side and find someone "on my level", not really into sex all that much, I like the feeling girls give me, they make me feel complete and to me, sex just ruins that when you do it to soon, its like "why bother?" after that. Like I said, its more or less what you're looking for and since I exist, then I'm sure there's other guys like that around, people aren't really that unique as we like to think

>>18490652
What's my attitude towards casual sex? I don't remember speaking to that capacity.

>I do have a chance to work and build a life that makes me proud and content
Lol. I make a point and you literally just pick up the goalposts and move them back a step.

For women, it isn't whether they are meant to be happy or if they can achieve it by building it, it's that they are not supposed to be happy at all, bar none.

That you believe you are entitled to being able to 'build' your own happiness as a woman is a fallacy which derives from the shared use of language. Because men speak of building their own happiness and spiritual lot in life and you can understand it on the surface, you believe this applies to you as well. It actually does not. It's the same fallacy as believing you speak a different language just because they both use a roman alphabet.

We do many things which are in some sense unnatural, yes. But this is not the status quo so much as it is more exactly the reason why the world is such a terrible place.

We are in no sense 'past' our natural state. Not even by one millimetre.

You're ugly op

>>18491104
this