Real Feelings - Self Reflecting

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I say that life is too beautiful. I don't think I can imagine the amount of things that I don't know. Don't we want to live fulfilling lives full of discovery? What a fucking shame it'd be to die only having experienced this, or only have learned so little. People can have sour grapes and say that they don't want this, but that's what everyone wants. I think that everyone grows up through their teens into adulthood losing what this is really all about. Discovery, what you did as a child, I don't want to end up as some pathetic adult that lost this and sees life in a shallow view.

Life is supposed to be deep and beautiful and I'm sitting here blowing it, right now, and have for the last 4 years, trying to figure IT out, whatever IT is. Who I am, what life is, where I am, who my parents are, everything. I'm realizing that I'm looking at life in such an extremely narrow view port. There is so much happening at all times from unimaginable points of view, completely different to what you are viewing and experiencing life in.

I feel ashamed, trying to make or pass off as if the entire world is in this bedroom and that I know how everything goes, when I don't know anything.

I feel very ashamed to be so myopic.

Holy shit, are you me?

I have no real advice, sorry anon. Here's to hoping life gets better for both of us and anyone else in a similar situation.

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>>18486738
>I don't want to work or go to school. I want to do my own things.
Then why are you bothered? Could it be that you want to study and work sometimes? Or maybe you just don't want to people to judge you or some other secondary prize you get from it?

>We all want that, to have our own time.
Then why do you think many people can still work and study? Do you think they are doing life the wrong way by not doing what they want all the time or should you do something uncomfortable once in a while?

>you are in total control, anything is possible, and the fact that you exist and are aware of it must mean you can be somebody or do something great
I can't say I agree with this.

>>18486743
>Life is supposed to be deep and beautiful
"Supposed" by who...?

>>18486738
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B2ILpxMxNOBzZGxpNmtQQzBfWlE

>>18486787
>contrarian for the sake of it
>none of his points make sense
4chan sucks

>>18486738
>over 4 years of NEETdom
There is no soul searching, you've disconnected yourself from the real world and you need to get a job b4 your parents kick you out and you're just another homeless dude.

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>>18487747
>none of his points make sense
Well I'm not everyone on 4chan :P

Could you try to open a little what doesn't make sense please? I would like to try and explain myself :)

Doesn't it make sense to you that if person makes a thread where he says his life feels meaningless and that he wants to only play vidya that maybe he actually really wants to do something else (like school and work)? Or maybe he really would just like to play all day but he just wants his relatives stop nagging but that's beyond my point that you don't make a thread if what you are already doing is what you want.

And don't you agree that everyone wants 'own time'? What I asked then there was what's the difference between you and everyone then? Is what you do the thing everyone really wants to do or could you be happier doing what others do?

Next up I said I don't think I'm really in control of my life. I didn't explain this really yet and I don't know if I should do it now but basically there will be things in your life you can't control and the way to deal with that in my opinion is to stop saying "that is how my life should be!" and let the world decide what it is.
In the spirit of this idea in the end I asked OP according to whom life is supposed to be beautiful? Because I think it doesn't have to be. Life can be whatever it "wants" to be.

>>18488282
nobody said anything about playing video games. what the fuck are you talking about

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>>18488307
OP said he hasn't left his room in 4 years. What do you suppose he has been doing?

Anyway was that your only problem with my post? It doesn't change my point that maybe OP should try find meaning for his life in things that he isn't doing now even if they seem now like things he wouldn't enjoy.