Reasons to not kill myself

>>18486243
I relate, and I honestly don't know.

I came here to ask about the post painless way to commit sudoku.

I wouldn't advise you to off yourself, but that's a decision you can make yourself.

At least try therapy first.

There are no reasons beyond ones you make for yourself. If you can't find any new ones, then it's up to you whether you try harder or just give up. Chances are only a handful of people will truly care regardless. If any.

In my case, I'm just going burning through the last few activities that actually entertain me. If those stop providing good escapism, I'm out. But they lasted me for years now.

Sure, from an objective point of view it's a garbage life, but who gives a fuck, really. Only subjective experience matters.

I'm not going to try to tell you to just smile and move on because it always gets better, or tell you to just get it over with. I just want you to know that others are your situation, and you're still a genuine human with real feelings. I wish you all the best.

>>18486243
From now on: any question posed to you: answer yes. You can't have a life if you don't create one for yourself; since you have none now you might as well live it like a Jim Carrey movie.

>>18486243
>Academics were the only thing I had. Now I have nothing.
Can't retry with something related?

> I have no family, no real friends, no hobbies, nothing...
So all family died? Should make it easier to get some friends & hobbies, you have to spend less time with family after all.

Of course they don't usually solve your financial issues if you have any, but that's not all strictly related.

> there is no real life out there for me
What is real life to you? Honestly, there's a lot of misery, which is why it's also comparatively to go into joint escapism with aforementioned friends and hobbies.

> Living day to day in a shitty job you hate just to pay bills.
Yea, sure jobs generally suck in many ways.

You have hours and weekends and holidays on top of that to do something you like a bit more.

Anon, I know how you feel. I have felt and sometimes still feel as you do. Everything feels hopeless, there is nothing you gain enjoyment from. You want to take your mind off of all of it, and sometimes you do for a few seconds, minutes, maybe even hours. But at the end of the day you still return to yourself, and you realize where and who you are and it all comes back again.

I won't say it will definitely go away. But I will say that it can. And that you may have failed in hte past, and you WILL fail in the future. But you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, and that you deserve better than letting yourself truly fade from this cruel world. Be strong, don't let the world destroy everything you are.

The way I thought of it: Suicide was just running away from my problems instead of actually trying solving them, and I didn't wanna die running away. I wanted to die in a bed with family, and I was gonna do whatever it took to get there.
Not to mention, it's really just a cowardly and selfish way out of problems you couldn't fix yourself.

"But the suffering is too much, I don't care if I'm a coward or not. I just want it to end."

Then fucking do something about it. That's obviously way easier said than done, but you have to figure out your own problems- Figure out why you hate yourself, figure out what you want in life, and figure out how to get it. If you can't do the last bit, just figure out why you fail, and work from there.
No one else is going to do it for you, and unless you wanna die pathetically, accomplishing nothing where only a handfull of people will remember you, you're going to have to figure out and do something about your problems.

Think- Why don't you have friends?
"Oh, I'm antisocial"
Think deeper. Just accepting that the problem is there isn't enough.
What makes you antisocial? Why can't you talk to anyone?
A lack of confidence? Indifference towards other people? Do you represent yourself poorly? Do you never do anything yourself to progress relationships and wait for other people to approach you and do it for you?
Boil yourself down to a science, and destroy and reconstruct yourself. Only you know your problems and only you can fix it.

I used to be in the same spot as you anon, but if all you're willing to do is wallow in your own misery and self-hate, nothing will change.

It's hard to find a meaning to go on in life, and I'm sure you know that too. So take care of yourself, live for the sake of yourself, and find your own meaning and purpose on the things you do, or things you plan to do.

You accomplish nothing by dying.

>>18486900
Great post bump

>>18486243
>He actually searched for an image of an anime girl crying and went through the process of uploading it to make his post more dramatic
Lmfao.

Honestly if you don't have anything you enjoy doing and you base your will to live on how well you do in school, perhaps you should kill yourself. You seem like the type of person who's going to be unhappy doing what. Everyone has a shitty life but they develop hobbies and interests that can temporarily distract them from it and make their life worth living. If you can't find something like that then you're better off dead.

>>18486243
>ever since I was like 4 I remember dreaming of suicide
Haha, haven't we all.

>living is an exercise in masochism
This made me smile. I can relate to this all too well.

Maybe you don't have some of the things that contribute to a persons well being. At least you have yourself and some safety. Doesn't mean you won't be more fulfilled later. Sometimes things get better and sometimes they get worse. Hell, I've spent years trying to fool myself into thinking things were getting better just for them to continually get worse, but some days there are things that make me wonder if life is worth living.

You could do what I do and alternate between taking phenibut, kratom, tianepetine, and etizolam. Beats the hell out of SSRIs and Tricylics. Rework your negative thoughts as well. Even when life completely sucks trying to think about it with a more positive outlook helps. Takes a while to sink in, but the effort is worth it.

>>18486243
Why did you ever care about academics? You didn't see it as hoop jumping to be a house nigger instead of a field nigger?

I'd love to know someone with no attachments. I have the fewest of someone I know myself. But the school thing.....yuk...first thing I cast off really.

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14KB, 480x360px

You did this to yourself, so you deserve whatever you do as a result.

>>18486900
You're still going to die though. Whether surrounded by family or alone in the streets you're still going to meet the Reaper. Your life ended, your memories forgotten.

Just make sure to enjoy the path as much as possible and then it doesn't matter how you die.

What the fuck you're still in school and you think you're a worthless, hopeless garbage. That's how you know you actually have chemical imbalances in your brain because you're really not thinking correctly.

I was a skinny nerd virgin who only had a few friends to play video games with until my mid 20's. I also went pretty all-in on some things in my school days and it did not pay off at all. Still, it took me just about 3 years to turn my life around completely. Now i look fit and attractive, have a lot of friends with whom i do fun things like snowboarding, and i stopped thinking of life as a prolonged suffering.

If you're really feeling suicidal, get help. seriously, it helps you more than you'd think and it's not just BS talk it's more about helping you to think correctly and finding balance in life.

Also, I can already tell your lifestyle is really unhealthy. Our brain requires plenty of sleep, good food, and regular exercises. If you deprive your brain of any of the three, then you expose yourself to these "thoughts."

Relax. Watch some anime. Know that you have time to turn your life around. And learn to find balance in life. Your dreams arent really dreams if it makes you suffer so greatly.

You've got an eternity to be dead. Also you have nothing to really lose by living, I mean whats the worst that can happen you die?
This mentality has helped me alot personally.

>>18486243
>ever since I was like 4
>even if life is shit might as well stick around
>tried doing the whole leave everything behind

Hey you been doing pretty good if you haven't already killed yourself. From what you've said it seems like you are quite capable of changing your life. Improving your life one step at a time is better than crying but I hope that me saying that to you doesn't make you feel worse. I just want to tell you that whether you're making little progress or not it's important to keep trying.

Keep trying.

Find something else to do. Anything to make you happy or even distract you a little from what misery that haunts you. Pick yourself up and go find another thing to do. Whatever it is. Hookers and blow. Sure. What fucking ever it doesn't matter. Just find ANYTHING.

Be the honey bee. The flowers are all waiting for you.

>>18486243
the world is fucked trust me
male mutilation at birth (circumcision) is a red flag humanity is going to fail really FUCKING HARD
so if you want to leave, its better than stress
simulation . You do what you want