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Anonymous
I'm not as fun and happy as I used to be 2017-07-04 10:39:41 Post No.
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I'm not as fun and happy as I used to be 2017-07-04 10:39:41 Post No.
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When I was in school I used to be depressed all the time, I was always made fun of how I look, I wasn't interested in relationships because of that, I was generally a sad person...but I always seemed happy to other people, made them laugh all the time, enjoyed people's company and enjoyed the laughing I was causing, I was generally a 'fun' person to have around, a lot of people told me that, I was always fun at parties when I would go and all that sort of thing.
Then I got older and things changed.
I don't look bad now, I actually put some effort now into looking better and healthier, made new friends in college I used to go to, party with them sometimes, I seem to have gotten out of that "hole" i was in and to some extent, made my life better.
Since college tho (I had to withdraw after 1st year) I've lost purpose, I keep trying to find things to do with my life but everything fails, the last time I did something was college (about 3 years ago) and since then its been mostly sitting at home, doing nothing, being alone, hanging out with college friends every few months (I had to move back home), trying to find something to do, I'm trying college again now so hopefully this time it'll work out but I feel like my life has been on pause for the last 3 years or so, I don't feel happy anymore like I used to in school, even despite all those things that happened back then I seemed happier than I am now.
I can't bring myself to entertain people anymore, I can't be funny as I used to be, I can't crack jokes, every time theres a window of opportunity I just feel like "...maybe another time" and never do it, I just can't bring myself to be that 'fun' person to have around again.
What happened? I feel like its still in me but I just can't get it out somehow. I really miss being the old me, even with all that shit from those times, I just seemed more confident and fun, now I seem miserable and its hard to be positive, I just want the old 'me' back, I want to be fun again...
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Honestly man it sounds like since you dropped out of college you've gotten into some sort of boring every day routine that makes you miss what you used to have. If you want the old you back, you either gotta do the things you used to that made life fun, or find new things that bring that side of you out again. External change brings internal change. It's up to you to find that external change though.
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>>18485890
I miss having a purpose in life, to get up in the morning to do something, even tho I hated school and most people in it, I still like hanging out with friends and having a laugh.
Its been awhile since I've done that but last year when I attempted college again (had to withdraw because parents pulled out funds last minute) I found it really hard to make friends, its sort of weird to make friends after awhile, especially in later years, I feel like I'm "too old".
I just miss having a friend to hang out with and have a laugh with on a daily basis. But to make friends I feel like I need that confidence and 'fun' aspect of me which having friends to begin with provides, idk.
I'm afraid that if I'll go to college this year I won't make any friends and I'll just sit there alone for the entire 4 years. I don't know how to bring that confidence and happiness out again
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