Cought bf cheating with a girl online

>>18485587
So what exactly did he say to this girl?

>>18485590
I had only a minute to look, but basically sexting, sending eachother pictures and dirty talk.
I was soo hit by it, I don't even remember the exact convos. He talks to her (and other guild members on discord a lot).
One thing I noticed tho that really hit me, he was texting her while we were visiting my sick grandma. I dunno, it just made me sick to my stomach.

>>18485587
I don't care what anyone says if someone cheats on you they don't love you. That is an ultimate sign of disrespect and the trust in your relationship is gone. The sooner you leave and try to start moving on the better you will never have what you did have again, at least not with this person.

>>18485597
Yes I know and I wanna leave. I know I won't be able to get over it, so I don't wanna torture myself.

The thing I'm asking is kinda, how to proceed? We are living together, have a dog together and I just wanna be the bigger person. He is coming home in 3 days and when he comes I wanna be cold and stable and do the right thing.
Should I pack my things now? Should I wait for him to explain?

>>18485603
pack everything find new place, wait till he comes back and confront then leave

>>18485603
Get your shit and dip the fuck out cut of contact and get a restraining order if you have too. I was in a simmaler situation I'm a male. I moved out of our apartment and into my mom's for a while till I left for a new job but I made it shitty on myself by talking to her/fucking her when I was drunk and sad. Don't do what I did I spiraled into a severe depression and only sobriety exercise and moving out of the state was what finally got my mental state back to normal.

>>18485612
What should I do with the dog? I love the dog but he loves him too :( I feel so dumb for getting a dog with a person I clearly couldn't fully trust.

Also, should I say something to the girl? She has a bf and her bf doesn't know.
I am honestly in such a rage mode, I am prepared to log into his game and tell everyone everything just to embarrass him uhhh..

>>18485623
I would tell the bf but that's just me personally cuz maybe he don't know wtf is goin on. I'd leave the dog but then again that's just me the sooner you arnt around this person and have no reason to see this person the sooner you can start the healing process it's gonna be rough at first but surround yourself with good friends and don't go overboard on the alcohol.

Tell the boyfriend.

I think everything you've gotten is good advice. However, you should also really ask yourself if you want to leave at all. It can be really easy to get swept up into your anger.

I worked past something similar, and while we never reached how we were before, I am glad I didn't just leave her.

>>18485640
T. Cuck

I have no sympathy for males who let their woman trample them like that.

>>18485623
Kill the dog. He will understand.

>>18485642
Say what you want man, but you've only got a single piece of information on your plate.

Almost everything else about the relationship is in my favor. Yolo.

>>18485663
so what happened? did she fuck her bull while you weren't there to watch and cry like normal?

>>18485587
Guy don't cheat because they don't love their girlfriend but because they're biologically engineered to have high libido and high impulsivity. If you've been together for 5 years believe me, he loves you and she's nothing else than a piece of meat for him.

So here are my 2 cents. If you can try to confront him about what you've found out. Get like, really, really angry, scream at him, insult him, slap him, then throw him out and tell him it's over. Then wait for about a week and let him a chance to amend. Forgive him and don't break the relationship - even if his libido is still high, he will be scared to lose you and not do it again.

Source: I've cheated on my girlfriend and confessed. What unfolded is what I described above.

>>18485623
THIS situation is why I don't let my bf have female friends online, every single time I've added a girl she added him too and tried to talk to him before me, ask him to play, one even tried to talk dirty to him.

It probably started innocent but it was completely wrong that he did this, I hope you find someone better

>>18485587
He didn't even cheat right? It's just sexting? Don't get mad over it it's like watching porn. Just a fantasy. If it makes you uncomfortable make it clear to him.

>>18485686
People have different ideas of what constitutes cheating, for her, sexting is cheating

>>18485696
Honestly, ending a 5-year relationship because of sexting seems crazy to me.

Everyone has his own standards but no man (except if very low test and libido) can help fancying other women's bodies. If it just stays on the internet it's not a big deal.

She has to be realistic there because she will never be happy with a reasonably masculine guy otherwise (except if he's clever enough to cover his tracks).

>>18485674
Nah. Had a bf like that. Addicted to dirty talking with strangers. He never stopped even when I disappeared for a while. No fear of losing anything stops these people. They are insecure and need validation through feeling wanted by many different people.

>>18485720
You're overgeneralising. In my case, I made a mistake and then completely stopped after I confessed because one week long, I believed I has lost the woman of my life because of my stupidity.

I'm not saying guys who really can't help it even with fear don't exist, but there are tons of stories where the woman forgave the man and it worked fine.

Learn from Anthony Wiener.

>>18485740
You did the same

Usually sexting is not a one off kind of behavior.

People in a relationship who need someone else's attention insecure to a certain degree.

If you're happy with your gf and you resort to sexting real people instead of watching porn it means you need someone's attention

Op here.

I know to some of you, sexting is no big deal but to me it is. I know I will FOREVER wonder if he's doing it again. And I don't want to live my life like that.

I made a irrational decision and I messaged him about what I found. He tried calling me now, I have about 20 missed calls. When I finally answered he said sorry and after I said I don't know what I wanna do he put the blame on me.
Apperley I wasn't giving him enough attention and was starting to be too bitchy (aka confident) since I started the gym....

well it looks it's time for you to get a real man just like my real woman named my PC

>>18485758
*are insecure

5 years. Fucking 5 best years of my life wasted on an asshole who would throw it all away because it of an online whore who apparently does this with everyone in the guild.
I literally wanna ruin his life now. He's saying sorry again.

>>18485758
I didn't do sexting. I cheated while being completely drunk and confessed after a year.

But regardless, you don't understand how men work. In our teens and 20s (at least), we are just constantly aroused. It's very difficult to have self control. I'm not saying it's a good thing but it has nothing to do with a guy's feelings for his girlfriend.

>>18485774
Look I have no problem with people forgiving cheaters. I'm just saying I can't do that. I know myself. I would be a paranoid mess for months until I would drive both of us insane and someone would have to end it.

>>18485760
He is probably very ashamed of himself desu.

We guys all have this feeling of absurdity and purposelessness after we jack off or cheat or do sexting. The moment your hormones don't control you anymore because you ejaculated, we realise how low and mediocre male sexuality is and feel guilty for allowing it to control us. But we can't help.

>>18485782
If you can't forgive him then just move on. You won't forget about him by raging and trying to make him suffer. Your best move is to seek support among your friend circle and find a new boyfriend once you're ready.

>>18485760
Pack your shit.
Move out.
Start radio silence.

>>18485774
I don't dispute that a guy can love his gf and cheat, sext or whatever.

I'm saying it's a behavior caused by lack of self-esteem disguised as male hormones.
Say what you want but especially with sexting, as in OP's case, it's a matter of wanting someone else's attention not because there are feelings but because it's a sort of self-esteem boost and it makes you feel good.
If the insecurity isn't resolved it will happen again

>>18485760
Now he knows there is a trust issue, whatever decision you choose, watch yourself and don't get out of hand. Talking with close friends is presumably better than an image board anyhow, and they can actually help you through it.

Her going to the gym and feeling better about herself and him saying she wasn't giving him enough attention made him feel insecure about how much he is wanted.

It's pretty obvious it's not male hormones and all that. Otherwise what stops any man from being a full on rapist if the instincts can't be controlled like you claim.

I have 1st hand experience with a guy like this and they can swear they won't do it again but they will because the insecurity is never addressed.

>>18485812
Because rape (sex with a woman who doesn't sexually desires you) is a turn off for most men. Also they don't want to go to prison.

I doesn't have anything to do with his feelings or OP's behaviour. Any guy will be aroused by a woman who sexually desires him. Even if his girlfriend makes him feel fantastic. Then it's just a question of self control.

>>18485774
I'm a man OP, this person is literally retarded. If you love someone you don't cheat on them.

>>18485887
Nobody has 100% self control especially if drunk. That's just a fact of life (beyond my particular case). If I didn't love her I wouldn't have felt guilty about it.

Holy fuck.
Everyone in this thread needs a goddamned therapist.

OP needs to calm the fuck down and plan this: you are going to leave him, you are going to take the dog, and you are going to your parents' or a friend's house until you find somewhere new to live and stabilize yourself. Also, you are never again going to date an adult who spends his free time playing video games, because you want someone decent with a bit of maturity. You aren't going to say anything to the girl or her bf or deal with any of the online bullshit drama, because you're above all of that and moving the fuck on.

>>18485674 needs to stop making excuses for his own goddamned cheating.

>>18485793
Stop making excuses.

>>18485806
Stop making excuses.

>>18485934
Stop making excuses and take some personal fucking responsibility.