no sense of closure

>>18484982
I think you need to realize you may never get closure just because it simply wasn't a big deal to the other person. I'd say distance yourself from the other person and it should get easier, especially if you have other friends to associate with.

I once tried (and technically succeeded) to force closure out of someone and all it brought me was pain and disappointment. If they aren't a "deep" person, whatever they give won't satisfy you. I can tell you that.

>>18485031
>distance yourself from the other person and it should get easier
This. So much this.

If you can't get closure from the other person, then make it happen yourself by cutting off all ties with them. It sucks, and it'll likely hurt a lot at the beginning, but it's a lot healthier that way, imo.

>I once tried (and technically succeeded) to force closure out of someone and all it brought me was pain and disappointment. If they aren't a "deep" person, whatever they give won't satisfy you. I can tell you that.
This as well. I've had it happen to me numerous times; it sucks and is shitty.

If they feel anything or think anything of you, then let them contact you first. If they don't, then you know what kind of person they truly are.

I don't know you and I probably never will, but you don't deserve to go out of your way just to make things worse for yourself.

The fact that you're feeling bad about whatever happened between the two of you shows that you at least care a little bit about others. That's a virtue, imo, but don't let others walk all over you because of it.

It honestly sounds like they don't give a shit.

>>18485048

the whole situation between us is extremely complicated, and has made me miserable for the past few months since it's happened.

they're apparently really calm and chill according to other people in the group who know them. but they're also very harsh and unapologetic about it, and that was something i never liked about them. even if they only acted that way when it was warranted.

it's shit because they're into quite a few things that i'm into (anime, art, etc.). i'm reminded of them every time i talk to anyone else in the group. it's seriously starting to affect my depression to the point where it immobilizes me and confines me to my bed.

"Getting closure" doesn't exist. Just move on and leave him alone. He'll probably do the same. Your relationship is probably done unless he wants to bring it back. I've dealt with this too and felt awful, but there's nothing you can do, they don't want to be with you and you should respect that even if it hurts.

>>18484982
Life isn't a movie. You don't always get the nice button on the collar in this world. Life will do that to you a lot. Speak with yourself and forgive yourself for what happened. If they don't want a connection with you then they don't deserve to be a thought in your mind. You're wasting energy on it. Time to forgive everyone involved including yourself so that you can move on.

>>18485170

>time to forgive everyone involved

what do you mean by this?

>>18485180
>what do you mean by this?
Not him, but how I'm reading it is that you should accept your situation, accept that there's little to nothing you can do about it, and move on.

It's not really "forgiveness" in it's typical sense, but more of "I'm done worrying about it, time to live and let live" and then move on with your life.

Just ask yourself, is this something you're going to worry about 5 years from now? 10 years from now?

If it isn't, then there's no sense worrying about it since it's only something affecting you currently. You'll eventually get over it. If it's something drastic that'll affect your future, then maybe it is something worth further pursuing.

>>18484982
>just been through lots of drama with someone in a friend group. they've moved on and aren't affected by what happened, whereas i feel like i've been scarred for life
If you're scarred for life, you have 1 of 2 options:
1) tell the police, because something very, very bad has happened
2) get over it, because it wasn't serious, you just wanted to get the last word in or get information you aren't privy to

If someone is toxic, don't associate with them, don't friend them on social media, don't talk to them.
Life isn't a Disney film where the princess' problems are all resolved and everything is tied up with a pretty bow.

>>18485134
It this is bleeding into other areas of your life that much, you should probably talk to a professional. A Master's level counselor should be enough, a doctoral psychologist would be overkill for you.

>>18485477

>implying i think all of my problems will go away at the push of a button

i don't think that way, just asking for thoughts on the situation.