How long did it take you to get over them?

Dated for 8 months, took me around 2 to feel back to my prior self took 2 weeks after to not care about her. I just accepted it happened and moved on, its that simple just fully grasp she's gone and she won't be involved in your life anymore therefore theres honestly no reason you need to think about her.

>just fully grasp she's gone and she won't be involved in your life anymore therefore theres honestly no reason you need to think about her.
That part I already got, but how do I accept that she's gone for good rather than hurt myself thinking ''She's going to realize her mistake for sure and come back any day now!''?

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>How long had you been dating?
6 years, long story short, she left in the middle of the night to fly across the country to live with someone she met online, deleted me from everything and changed her number, parents refused to talk to me so they obviously knew about it

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
Around 4 years is when the pain slowly started dying

>How long did it take you to fully heal?
She left me in 2012, still hurts

>What did you do to decrease the pain?
I spent time with friends and family, we lived in the same house together and shared the same friends, so getting away from things that made me think of her was insanely hard, I didn't have the money to move anywhere else so I'm still in the same house we once shared, all my friends have forgotten about her but she still haunts my dreams pretty fucking hard, every room I go into I remember the times we shared in there, it's pretty awful, the thing that helped the most was talking to friends about it and crying as much as I could, holding in my feelings made everything much worse, I spent days crying and hugging her clothes like a pathetic fool until one day I just stopped feeling pain and very slowly started getting better

I realized I had friends and family who cared about me no matter what, and just because she left that didn't mean they were going to leave me too, remember the most important thing

You're NOT alone during this, you have people who care and want to help you heal, you don't have to feel alone, even people here on this board care and want to help, sometimes it takes a long time to heal, but the best thing you can do is spend time with friends and surround yourself with happy people who care about you.

>>18483158
>How long had you been dating?
3 Years, guy I met online ended up moving in with me after dating online for a year, caught him cheating on me with someone he met at a fucking strip club, classy right?

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
Around 2 months, pretty short, I was more angry than sad, I ended up sleeping with a bunch of friends who wanted to be fuck-buddies to begin with, so once I was single again I went fucking wild

>How long did it take you to fully heal?
Only took about one full year to just completely forget about him

>What did you do to decrease the pain?
I partied my fucking head off, went to every party I could find, went on a sex crazed journey and banged every person I thought was hot, didn't give any fucks about STDs or any of that, stopped caring about my self respect and did what I want when I wanted

Looking back on it, even though it helped me, I would never act like that again.

I've had two loves in my life. Never dated the first one. Was about to but fucked everything up. "Talked" or whatever for like a year and it's been a decade and I still can't get over it. Never fully healed and it helped to put distance between me and her and meet the second love of my life.

Second love lasted seven years, married and kid. We separated. Getting divorced this month. Took me a day after I found out she cheated to feel significantmy better. I completely got past the second one by sleeping with the first one (after all these years, sex was shit but bucket list gentlemen).

The point is that it varies from person to person. I never got past my first love because I ruined it. Got over the second one who I had a deeper and more meaningful relationship because she bailed and I knew I did my best.

Also fuck off to anyone wondering. I literally never spoke to the first one while I was with the second one. The second one died because we had a kid young and grew resentful with each other until we realized we with each other out of obligation. She bailed as soon as she realized it. I stayed because I was raised to believe it's ok to be miserable in a marriage.

>>18483158
>>How long had you been dating?
About four months, but we immediately kept talking and thinking about getting back together for almost five more months. I was really indecisive and by the time I decided I wanted to get back with her it was too late. I decided to go no contact about a month ago.
>>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
I'm slightly better, but I wouldn't call it significant in anyway.
>>How long did it take you to fully heal?
n/a
>>What did you do to decrease the pain?
Right now I'm focusing a lot on my guitar practice. It helps keep me occupied but every time I take a break I think about how much she'd like the piece I'm working on. Just trying to focus on myself

>>18483210
Geez man, that's fuckin' deep. Got me right in the feels; I hope things get better for you

>>18483158
>How long had you been dating?
Close to four years, but we were best friends for much longer.
>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
I didn't and I doubt I will
>How long did it take you to fully heal?
I didn't and I doubt I will
>What did you do to decrease the pain?
Distractions and drinking.

>How long had you been dating?
3 years, but were best friends for around 5, one day she told me "You're hard to be around, I need a break" And she was dating someone else in about a week, refused to talk to me about it

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
Not long surprisingly, 3 months at max

>How long did it take you to fully heal?
I admit it still hurts, and I never got any real answers from her as to why she did this to me, her friends don't know either, she was most likely cheating on me for a while

>What did you do to decrease the pain?
Drink a FUCK ton, but that ended up almost killing me so now I just sleep and sleep and sleep.

>>18483158
>How long had you been dating?
met in college when I was a junior and she was a freshman.

two years. had only recently come back from Hawaii and just before Halloween when she called saying we should break up. I had planned on marrying her.

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?

been 10 months and I feel better but it hurts like a bitch.

>How long did it take you to fully heal?

It'll take me a while to get over this one. I lost friends from this. I lost all the shit that I worked on. I honestly have no clue how people heal from this shit it's soul crushing.

>What did you do to decrease the pain?

Fuck tons of hiking, losing weight, excercising, different hobbits, venting to friends.

I've found that the shorter the relationship the longer it takes to get over and the longer the relationship the easier it is.

>>18483158
>How long had you been dating?
6 years, had known her for 8.

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
Still feel like shit about it everyday.

>How long did it take you to fully heal?
Haven't healed yet. It's been 4 months and will take much longer.

>What did you do to decrease the pain?
I play music, go to the gym, hang out with friends. It's not a cure but it helps.

>>18483158
>How long had you been dating?
5 Years, met her in high school, caught her sleeping with her co-worker

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
3-4 months at least

>How long did it take you to fully heal?
Still not fully healed, trusted her when she told me nothing was happening between them

>What did you do to decrease the pain?
Used every single one of my vacation/sick days and just drank and played video games until I puked from lack of sleep, eventually the pain went away and I was okay to start living life again

>>18483208
If you split with you still wanting the relationship to continue then it'll take a few months maybe more

>>18483210
Experience dictates women who flee into sunset are running from domestic violence. Especially when her family don't speak to you.
Anything to tell us anon?

>>18483907
Over the 6 years we were together we very rarely ever had a fight, I was on extremely good terms with her family and would golf with her dad every other weekend, one of her friends dropped a hint that she might of just been bored with her life and decided to leave it all, but I never really got confirmation on that

I personally think she was worried we were growing up too fast, she always talked to me about leaving our jobs and driving across the country for fun, but that just couldn't be done, we had a house and cars and bills to pay, can't just drop everything and drive away, not only that but we needed the insurance.

>How long had you been dating?
4 months.

>How long did it take you to start feeling significantly better?
2 years.

>How long did it take you to fully heal?
5 years.

>What did you do to decrease the pain?
Improved my looks by tenfold (losing weight, style) and found someone better.

My advice: Don't isolate yourself and get busy with stuff so you don't have time to think about the past.

>>18483210
Are you sure she wasn't messed up in something bad anon? If someone I knew for six years up and left and blocked me on everything I would be worried about her.

Reading this thread is making me sad as fuck. Currently dating my absolute best friend, she feels the same.
I can't think of anything that would make me stop liking her or could split us apart.
I guess people just change with time and that pushes them apart, huh?

>>18483963
Yeah, as painful as it was I eventually sat down and thought about everything, all the little hints I missed, and there were a few...

She would go to the bathroom multiple times within the hour, I'm talking 3 to 5 times, would never hear the toilet flush, that's because she was on her phone

Her friend told me that she kept talking about a guy named "Josh" she worked with, but she didn't work with a guy named Josh, so I'm assuming she said he was a co-worker instead of someone she met online

She left EVERYTHING behind besides one outfit and her phone, I looked through her computer and found bookmarks for "How to hide numbers on phone bill" on Google

>>18484000
damn. that sounds like some mentally ill behavior.

>>18484004
The thing is, she was very normal and happy from what I saw, we had an amazing life together, no worries at all, we made great money, had a great house right in town, tons of friend, families got along great, it was perfect

But like I said, her friend dropped hints that she was bored with life in general, and hearing that on top of her telling me she wanted to drive cross country and leave everything was a pretty big giveaway as to why she left.

>>18484009
ah that makes sense. boredom seems to be the final straw in a lot of these long term relationships ive noticed.

id recommend fireworks if you want them to stay around. always excites them.

>>18484013
Sadly we had gotten to the point of no return, we both had so many responsibilities that there was no way we had time to do anything crazy, we both worked full time jobs for years

>Wake up
>Go to work
>Come home
>Eat dinner and watch TV
>Sleep

That was our life for years with some sex randomly thrown in, weekends were spent with friends and little dates, but nothing exciting, keep in mind we were both under 30 at the time.

>>18484019
Yeah I can definitely see why now. Still a bitch move on her part.
Nobody deserves to be disrespected like that, man. Sorry that happened to you.

>>18483158
I courted her for like a year, we had long distance for 2 years. Then two years ago ago I was finally able to move in with her. Then I fucked everything up by taking her for granted and she broke up with me a little over a month ago.
I know I shouldn't but we still meeting for sex and other intimacy. Both banged someone else but it was shitty. She's desperate for someone like me to take my place, but I am not getting another chance. Shit hurts man.

>>18483219
Be gone THOT