Leaving the man I love

>>18482478
I'd dump him if I were you. I can't stand people who lie to sound interesting or cool and then turn out to have more hollow of a life than the majority of people I know. There's nothing wrong with having a boring life, but there is something wrong with lying about it.

>>18482486
I wouldn't say he lied about it. I think it's how he sees it. I think the majority of all this shit was me assuming stuff about him based on small scraps of information.
Probably I was just imagining the stuff I wanted to see and then got disappointed it wasn't as great. He never LIED to me per se.

>>18482492
Well on top of disliking liars, I'm also not a huge fan of people that sit on their asses and play video games while hoping a job falls into their lap. Also, the fact that you've been dating for four years and your father can't form an opinion on him is a HUGE red flag.

>>18482478
There is this easy quiz for you op:
>would he be great father
>do you imagine having kids with him
>do you want to marry him
>can you imagine him ever being active again?

If it is all no, then the answer is clear.

>>18482497
uh-oh
>probably not and he doesn't really want kids while I low-key do, one day
>uhh
>that's my exact problem, I don't know
>he's 31 and I don't imagine it would get any better

I know all this shit. I just feel this might be a mistake. When I lay down by his side it feels so nice and I am at peace. It's just so nice and simple and I don't want to let it go. I'm also terrified I won't find anyone better. Like, what if the thing I want is just unicorns? What if I want to leave a perfectly good man while chasing a fairytale?

>>18482521
:-D

Common why are you asking us if you should leave man who makes you feel secure and nice just by lying by his side when he has all these negative traits even after 4 years?

You obviously lobe him. Here is a secret: manipulate him into better version of himself. Who cares all he wants to do is to sit home? Just take your life into your own hands. Plan your common activities. Do not ask him what he wants and simply whip his lazy ass and make him do it.

Find him job together. Literally download libre office, write his CV for him and then browse job offers together. If he cant be arsed to make a choice, why couldnt you do it?

And as far as kids go, i bet he will be that laid back cool dad who kids love. Simply decide when you want kids and then tell him you are pregnant. He is probably so lazy he wont even mind.

Guys who arent passive home shutins certainly exists, but there is no guarantee that anybody will make you feel like he does.

Maybe just whip his sorry ass into action. Tell him that from tommorow he will start acting like responsible adult. Write him list of chores if you have to.

Boys are very simple and with proper motivation we will do anything for qtie girls. Take your fate into your own hands. It is not rocket science. You cant change him, but you can force him to do things for you.

Give it a trial. Find him a job, direct him like a kid and operate his life for him. If you really love him as you describe it, it shouldnt be that hard task for you.

You cant be his mom, but surely you can be his source of motivation. Also
>having kids after 30 increases chance of birth defects, complications and autism. Dont wait forever.

If you're attached and don't really want to leave yet don't really want to stay with this loser-
Fix him up. Forcefully make the myths into reality. Make him read more things, force him to find a job, and most of all... MAKE HIM INDEPENDENT. A guy who relies on his mom - Ok. A thirtysomething yo who relies on his mom? Not ok.

... what you just described is my greatest fear when it comes to this relationship and makes me panic and want to get out even more xD

I want a partner, someone I can discuss stuff with, someone I would respect, someone who wants to share adventures with me, someone I can learn from and who wants to learn from me, someone who is excited about something, someone I would admire as a human and not only use as a warm huge teddy bear.... does it make sense? Am I making any sense?

>>18482613
Ok now you went imho a liiiitle overboard op.
>discuss stuff with
You deplete topics in few years and all what is left are quarrels.
>would respect
You dont respect him? Are you sure?
>share adventures
This type of man never marry or have kids. He just eventually leaves you for younger model. Aka not family nor monogamy type.
>learn from
Lol.
>excited
The spark fades with time. Only kids and marriage remains. Even the sex gets repetitive eventually.
>admire as a human
This is again disney.

Common op, how old are you? Lets be real, it will take you at least 2 years to find new bf minimum. Probably even more if you find typical scared of commitment and or cum and dump dude.

Really all his faults can be described as
>lazy
>low achieving
>not real life goals
Are you sure you cant just steer his life? Dont forget that having teddy bear is not that bad. At least you dont have to worry him leaving you, abusing you, cheating, falling for drugs and so on. Nobody is perfect.

HOW BAD IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP? Have you tried to comfort him? That you see him just as teddy bear, as kid who forgot to grow up? What would be his reaction if you gave him ultimate like
>get a job, start doing sport and promise me to have baby?

What would he say? Would he even try to do anything for you? Why are you asking /adv and not him?