mental ilness

>>18479006
What kind of thoughts do you have?

>>18479006

your entire post is contradictory. you're reaching new layers of contradiction.

>i believe I have a mental illness
>but I will hold back that thought
>so now i think im normal
>but i realize that I do have a mental illness and just tricked my self into thinking im normal

you can't both realize you have a mentall ilness and claim you tricked your self successfully.

>>18479022
stuff like
>oh no your not manipulative, you might of lied..and made the guy like you but that doesn't mean anything!
>are you okay, stop worrying about this, your normal, duh???
>im kind i'll protect you
>are you lying to the people? you cant do such a thing!

just random shit, shes telling me shes kind and soft and she knows what she did but it's okay and nothing i did is wrong.
its like i've got a real shitty persona

>>18479038
i know but like, i dont know? am i normal or am i not, i keep telling myself i am.

>>18479075

its normal for us to assume we have issues, then realize that we dont actually have them, then question which side was right.

its like im an entire trainwreck, im kind and soft and lie to people so their ultimate end is nice and tasty or im heartless and avoid all contact, repelled at any sort of affection or word.

>>18479078
i don't know which side is right anymore.
i want to have no issues, then i'm telling myself if I do have issues i can blame this on something instead of just being fucking crazy.

>>18479084

talk to a therapist. or just a friend.

>>18479092
i hate talking though, my friends won't get me and a therapist would put me down.
or maybe im just thinking that, idk.
i hate talking.

>>18479105

>or maybe im just thinking that

yes. you are assuming that the entire profession of therapy would just 'put you down' and its pretty stupid.

>>18479106
it would, wouldn't it?
it would dawn on me everyday i have to placed a label.

plus i don't want to end up like my dad.