Is my girlfriend lying about rape

op here I should say as well that she "put herself in that position" because I had slept with another girl, so she thought she needed to put herself out there to be the same. her exact words were 'she went out to hook up with someone' but claims rape on the situation that ended up going down.

Lol man why the fuck are you worried about how she feels?

You had an agreement of trust, she broke that trust. She got drunk and shagged another dude. And even if it is rape, no matter what the fucking feminists tell you what the actual fuck was she doing putting herself in that situation? How many times has it happened before? Was this time something you know about just because people saw her?

Either way, fuck how she feels. You're a man and you have feelings too and she betrayed them and your trust and now she's so insensitive to you she's not even willing to deal with the fuck up she put on you. She just shuts you off. Fuck that man, you have as many rights as she does so defend yourself and get away from her and find someone who respects the relationship.

She didn't get raped, she just fucked Chad and is now regretting it. Cut off all contact and move on. If she made a false rape accusation against Chad, she will make one against you.

>>18478175
I'll be perfectly honest mate, she doesn't seem to regret it at all.

>not op

Dump her again. No reason needed. It's the only way to be sure, anon.

>>18478175
op here literally 4 days later she tried getting another guy over but said she turned him away when he got here because she "couldn't do it". I couldn't help but think would a real rape victim be inviting over another guy who she'd never met just flirted with online over? I love my girlfriend but I'm starting to feel like a fucking idiot for still having faith/believing her

>>18478202
Yeah man youre a dumbass. Just find another girl. Someday down the line maybe shell confess how regretful she is over all this but its probably better to cut your losses for now.

>>18478202
Well, you are a fucking idiot... sorry bro

>>18478166
The more I think about the whole thing it just feels so off. She goes out and gets wasted every few weeks and is almost always ends up an absolute mess. She's told me about it and claims she told two of her friends, but refuses to acknowledge it to family and if I ever try to bring it up she guilts me into thinking I'm just reminding her of it

>>18478202
> I'm starting to feel like a fucking idiot for still having faith/believing her
Dump her again, anon. Nuke that relationship from orbit. You'll be much happier looking back upon this experience while balls-deep in a pussy that isn't trying to cuck you.

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>>18478137
Dating ex.

You broke up. She went after somebody better, he just cum and dumped her and now she wants you back.

Dont be idiot op, break up with her second time and forget about her. She wont stay with you anyway. Once she finds better boy than you, she will change you again.

>>18478202
>love my girlfriend
You cant love people unconditionally. Relationships are about mutual truat and respect. Which girl will break up and sleep around if she respect her bf?

You are like a cuck atm.

Find gf which will respect you.

> women" always lying about rape" is a myth perpetuated by society. Keep that in mind.
>There is no "typical" reaction to rape.
>What you have described is consistent with the date rape drug roofees.

>>18478210
She's an alcoholic, bro. Not wife material. She'll fuck up her whole life with that drinking and sleeping around.

>>18478208
>>18478209
her excuse was that she "thought it was over between us" and that I had moved on. But we still spoke every day, I am just retard making excuses for her right, this is my first real relationship.

>>18478220
You will feel so good when your second girlfriend whispers in your ear that she loves you as her pussy sinks down onto your dick, that you'll forget this first one was ever anything but a bitch.

>>18478137
OP you have a problem with not believing the truth in front of you. She fucked this guy so live with it or don't. Twisting your thoughts and her words and behavior to fit a narrative you can accept is crazy. Again, she fucked a guy she wanted to fuck before so did when she had another chance. Here's the thing OP. I know women that break up with a bf and the last thing they want is another man to even be around them, much less party with and fuck and then there are women that cannot wait to jump on some other guys dick. Your girl jumped on his dick and tactful enough not to admit that to you.

>>18478220
Shit, I feel for you bro. Yes, you are a retard and yes this is going to hurt as fuck because it's your first. You'll feel like a loser, an idiot and a complete failure of a man. You'll grow to hate her and then hate women and wonder how they can be so cruel. Keep going though and in 2-3 months of no contact you'll be back to normal and a healthier, more experience adult with a lot more self esteem and social awareness. It happens to all of us so cut your losses and enjoy the ride.

>>18478214
Not to sound like a narcissistic cunt but I am quite a bit more attractive than her and by far the best she's ever done. Does that play any factor in me believing her story/trusting her so much?

>>18478220

Look bro the strongest men are like steel, forged in flame. You nees to grow stronger and wiser from this hurt. Dont let it consume you and dont become hateful but accept you were an inexperienced oaf and move on.

Like i said someday she might talk about how she fucked up, but as things stand she cant seem to see how shes responsible.

>>18478137
I'd say it's about 95% sure she's lying.

It's a shitty thing to lie about, and I hope it doesn't hurt the accused.

If you want to stay with her, you'll have to let this go though. I'm not saying that's what you should do, I'm just saying that you're never going to get any satisfaction from pursuing this, and you'll never know the truth for sure.

>>18478210
When people lie and are confronted about it, the default response is to be super defensive and avoid the issue being addressed at all. It seems like you already know the answer to your question, and it will only get worse if you keep lying to yourself.

>>18478147
Why did you cheat on your gf?

>>18478232
Nope, except that it makes it worse you are so desperate to believe the ugly cunt when you could easily dump and replace her.

OP, whether she's lying about the circumstances of this alleged rape or not, the real issue here is your girl's serious substance abuse problem, which is glaringly obvious to those of us looking in on your situation from the outside. Encourage her to get help and see where it goes from there. Maybe you break up again, maybe you don't.

>>18478219
>>18478252
This. She needs help for her drinking.

>>18478232
>more attractive
Attractivity is subjective. You may be the most handsome man on the planet and still some random bitches would find you average.

>>18478137

You were broken up -- if you were broken up, she could fuck whoever she wants. It sounds like she's lying because you couldn't handle that truth. She didn't wrong you by shagging some dude while you two WERE NOT TOGETHER.

Don't break up with people if you don't want them fucking other people.

>>18478242
Yeah I understand, no I didn't cheat on her - I ended things because I could see the issues she had and I said that those things weren't beyond fixing but I couldn't see her as my girlfriend right now. Two weeks later I ended up getting with someone, then the next week all of this shit went down. And 1/2 weeks after that we were back together

>>18478266
The fact that she fucked some guy isn't really the problem, the problem is that she's a drunk and a false rape accuser. She accused a specific person who probably still has mutual friends and doesn't need this rumor spreading around.

Wanting to spare your boyfriends feelings isn't an excuse to falsely accuse someone of rape.

>>18478266

Haha clearly a woman. Look bitch, you dont lie about rape. Period.

>>18478266
I understand this perspective too, I told her straight up to tell me if she just got wasted and fucked this dude she'd hooked up with before and that rape was something not to be lied about. But I also said it that was the case we clearly were not ready to be getting back together. She turned it into this case of "my life sucked so much without you I blacked myself out drunk and got raped", putting pressure back on me. Does that make sense?

>>18478147

Double-standard as fuck. You fucked another girl, but you're distraught about whether her fucking another guy was really rape or not. If she was too drunk/drugged to consent, it was rape -- but, as you said, she was also "looking for it."

Sounds like you two are even. Just put this in the past, you got your dick wet with another chick, you two are even.

>>18478281
They're not even because she also lied and continues to maintain a lie.

>>18478278

Look bro you leaving her might help whip her back into shape. She has a substance abuse problem.

Your options are to help her through this and monitor her drinking or leave her for someone more stable. Either way she lied about rape man and thats a major red flag.

>>18478278
It makes sense she used this flip and switch but doesn't make sense for you to believe her. She lying.

>>18478281
I was honest about it straight away, it's as >>18478283 said, the problem is not what happened it's that (if she is lying) then she is maintaining lies in the relationship. That's what I have the issue with, and I need help in determining if she's telling the truth and needs me help or is just a hopeless girl who's abusing my feelings towards her and manipulating me to never leave.

>>18478300

Shes manipulating you to never leave weve already told you this.

>>18478300

It probably has more to do with her than you -- she did something slutty but it causes cognitive dissonance because she does not perceive herself as a slut; therefore, she lies to herself.

>>18478318

She probably was also afraid you'd fuck another girl again if you were still broken up. Sounds like relationship's over.

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>>18478137

Whether or not she's lying isn't the point. The point is your girlfriend told you she was drugged and raped and you don't believe her.

You two have no business being in a relationship together.

>>18478331
Fair.. never thought about it that way. I guess it's pretty fucked no matter how much I try to ignore it.

>>18478318
yes, when a woman chooses to lie to her partner, it's usually a man's fault. I don't know why men don't just stop forcing women to lie. Just another part of the never ending victimization of innocent women.

Hi, woman here. A lot of women who are raped refuse to report or do rape kits. Because reporting means it goes public and rape kit means exposing your genitals in a gyno chair. But I have to say this: If you are in a relationship where you feel like you can not trust your girlfriend on such a goddamn serious matter as this, you need to leave. If there is even one single thought in your head that she might be lying about something like rape, you need to move on. Find a woman you trust. Someone down to earth who would never dream of lying to you and who would not ever make you feel like you have to write a post like this.

>>18478278
> my life sucked so much without you I blacked myself out drunk
Alcoholic. dump.

>>18478404
A lot of false rape accusers also refuse to report or do rape kits because they know it will just prove they weren't raped

Try not to take advice given by a bunch of bitter, woman-hating dudes on a Mongolian basket weaving forum to heart. This Anon is right >>18478218

I'm a rape survivor, and contrary to what you see in entertainment media, not every rape survivor is a quivering blob of self-hate and screaming trauma. Some emotionally disconnect and show nothing on the outside, and that's especially the case with those who were not conscious during the incident.

Going to the police and getting a rape kit is also difficult because a lot of people end up having major anxieties and honestly just want to numb themselves to the event and move on with their lives. Truth be told- we live in a society where we hear lots of stories about police not giving a shit or there not being enough evidence to convict and some people are afraid of reliving the event but being denied justice. It's just such an unfortunately complicated situation (and of course, blatantly fake or proven fake rape accusations are not helping).

>>18478202
After my own experience, I wasn't afraid of men per se, I just didn't fully trust them, and push away any sort of physical or sexual contact.

The thing is, it's not really your place to determine whether or not her story was true, and without evidence you really... can't. I'm not saying you should believe her and shower her in pity, just take her story with a grain of salt and if she's blatantly using it to emotionally manipulate you with pity, don't fall for it. The best you can do is urge her to see a therapist about it. She'll probably decline the offer, but that's literally all you have the power to do and if she can't accept that, then that's her problem.

(cont.)

>>18478491
I don't think that you should continue to see her as dating material. Regardless of whether or not her story has some truth to it, she sounds like she has some personal issues to work out. I agree with >>18478252 to a degree but I wouldn't say she has a "drinking problem" if it was just one club night, just that she has the usual early-20s fast-paced lifestyle right now and I can tell you those girls (and guys) aren't dating material.

And these two >>18478331 >>18478404 are also right. If you feel that your girlfriend isn't trustworthy, then there's probably other factors there causing that lack of trust and neither of you need to be in that situation. This is all just too volatile.

>>18478137
whether or not she is lying is irrelevant. you suspect that she is, which means you do not trust her, which means it is most likely time to part ways. you cant have a healthy relationship without trust.

>>18478491
>>18478497
This is a very reasonable perspective as well, a question I was going to ask of >>18478404
was it atypical that she has had almost no reaction to it happening - it's me who's struggling with the situation. I think I agree with you and most others in this thread that the original topic of the thread isn't the issue there's clearly other things driving the reason I posted and wanted to validate a break up I think. We're both early 20's and maybe it just isn't meant to be (even if it's only for now). Thanks to everyone who replied, I feel much less confused and alone regarding the whole thing :)

>>18478137
>I'm convinced she is able to lie about other things.
That should be the second reason you don't be with her, the first one is the fact that you broke up.
She fucked a guy thinking she would enjoy it, she did things thinking he is some random and it wouldn't get back to anyone she knows, chances are he's someone known to you/her before said incident and she has threatened him with said threat if he tells anyone what she did (stuff she probably would never dream of doing with you).

She told you she was raped as it stops you from being angry with her (even though not being together is enough reason for it not to bother you).

Best case:
You broke up
She fucked someone

Bad case:
You broke up
She was raped

Worst case:
You broke up
She was raped and is refusing to get the rapist in trouble

Either way, the relationship is fucked, there's no coming back from it, the topic will only cause arguments, one day she will confess the truth and it will cause arguments, but at the end of the day, you weren't together, you have no rights to know anything about what she did in those 3 weeks.

Look, we can't be 100% certain what happened but how likely is it that she goes out and gets shitfaced regularly and never got "raped" before, then suddenly right after her relationship ended (but before they got back together) she "got raped" by her ex

How does she know she was drugged? She never went to the authorities to get tested. She might have just drank too much.

>>18478574
like someone said before I think she went out with the goal to hook up with someone, did it, then regretted it - then just lied to herself believing she couldn't do something so "slutty" so decided to just say it was rape because she was 'too drunk to remember'. But you can see my perspective I don't want to be that guy who just says false rape accusation, I feel like such an insensitive cunt. But ignoring all the signs she's lying makes me feel like an idiot too

>>18478596
it was her friends brothers birthday or something and they took shots out of one of his drinks that apparently had other stuff in it, her friends bf came in and told them not to drink it after they were a couple of shots in. They lied to him and said they didn't have any and went out anyway - then they left her on her own

>>18478618
I think it would be entirely unproductive for you to actually bring this up to her, because she knows for sure whether she's telling the truth, and you never will know.

But, just so you know, the probability that she's telling the truth is close to zero. That might make you feel better about cutting her off.

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>>18478618

Break up with her, anon. You're making a very vast mistake by listening to the presumptive anons here telling you she's definitely lying. They know nothing about you or her and they're using one paragraph of information to make a judgement about a girl they've never met. They're simply your situation as a platform to pedal their anti-woman propaganda. No one can say for sure what happened.

This is a lose-lose. Either she's lying and you're with a girl who is so morally repugnant that she would cheat on you and use rape as a scapegoat for doing so OR you're a terrible piece of shit who is treating your raped girlfriend like a lying criminal.

Either way you HAVE to break up. Its really the only solution to this situation and I think you don't come out as a better person for this even if you find out she lied. I think this negatively reflects on both you, regardless of your quest to pin fault on someone. I think whether or not she's lying its an incredibly amazingly shitty thing to immediately treat her like she's lying when someone tells you they've been raped.

If you honestly believed she was lying you could of just left her and told her you didn't want to be involved but instead you decided to stick around and berate her. You consciously make the choice to treat a girl like shit when there's a possibility that she could have actually been raped. I would never take that risk, honestly. I don't think "catching her" in a lie is worth possibly treating a rape victim this way. I would just leave. That would be the adult way to handle this.

Leave her, dude. There is no more to talk about this with us because we literally know nothing about you or her or what kind of person she is. All you're accomplishing here is receiving validation for the conclusion you already believe to be true and allowing your judgement to be clouded by the wild speculation of strangers on the internet concerning a situation they know nothing about.

>>18478649
There are elements of this that are true, but don't think that I have berated her about this for more than possibly 2 minutes. One of the reasons I ended up taking my relationship seriously with her again was how supportive I wanted to be of her in case it was true. I have spent the months between then and now completely supporting her and acting like it doesn't effect me at all. But it has gotten to a point where she's moved on (if she had to at all) and it's still an issue for me. I have kept most of my emotions towards it inside and have never accused her of lying. I just can't shake the feeling it's not true, but you're right in that there is no winning scenario and that it's best to end it either way.

>>18478622
so she accidentally drugged herself, and was informed that she had drugged herself.

she did not induce vomiting or anything like that, kept drinking more, and then fucked some guy.

I wouldn't describe that as "she was drugged". I would say "she did drugs".

Did she say what drugs were supposedly in there?

>>18478677
No she didn't say, but if it was roofies which seems to be the only one that fits the description I don't understand why a guy would spike his own drinks

>>18478137
Never take an ex back, there is a reason you broke up.

>>18478695
yeah the "I got drugged" part of the story is a bit weird.

In the end, whether she was on drugs or just too drunk or not, only she knows whether she's telling the truth about what she remembers.

But personally I don't buy into the whole "if a drunk man has sex with a drunk woman it's rape" meme. It's not like she was drugged without her knowledge and taken advantage of by the guy who drugged her. If her story is even to be believed, she stole random booze which she later found out had drugs in it, then she kept drinking and then woke up and realized she fucked some guy.

How was he even supposed to know that she was on drugs? She probably came onto him since she was there to fuck someone and he was someone she had been with before.

>>18478137
>We got back together after the 'incident'

Nigga why? She refused go get a rape test and she didnt even seem to bothered despite what she claims happened to her. She also deleted all the text she had with her alleged "rapist".

No pussy is worth getting into fuckshit from an insane bitch, and bro she is insane. Break up bro before you are accused of doing something by the bitch.

I don't think she was lying.
You should at least do her the courtesy of believing her but if she is weaponizing it against you or it makes you uncomfortable in general you should break up.

Actually you should break up with her anyway because you don't trust your girlfriend. You're asking about this on 4chan that's a sure sign you should break up.

There are some major red flags worth pointing out regardless or whether or not she is lying:

>their predrinks.
>They went out to the clubs anyway
>some of my friends saw her out and said she just looked very drunk
Getting "very drunk" at a place like a bar is a terrible idea. She should have known her personal alcohol tolerance limits and drink carefully to avoid reaching the point where she could potentially get taken advantage of. Does it excuse a rape assuming she wasn't lying? No. Does it show poor decision-making behavior on her part? Yes.

>his guy who she had hooked up with (never had sex with) before we had met.
Sounds fishy to me. She just so happened to be randomly and fully taken advantage of somebody that she knew in the past. What probably happened was that with her lowered inhibitions, she wanted to flirt, make out, and possibly have sex with this guy she was already comfortable with.

> She deleted any messages she had with him,
This is extremely fishy. Why would she delete such messages knowing full well that you may look at them if she had nothing to hide? There is no legitimate reason to delete such messages since you lose potential evidence in case you do want to press charges. What probably happened was that the messages reveled that she was clearly flirting or sexting him and she just wants to delete evidence of such.

>refused to do a rape kit/go to the police and has honestly not ever seemed overly distraught about it.
While it is possible that she doesn't want to deal with the hassle, the fact that she isn't confiding in you shows that she doesn't trust you, another red flag.

>how inconsistent and confusing I find her story
This alone is a red flag

>but she will turn it on me and say I shouldn't be the one who feels like shit about it.
Very typical tactic of a guilty party, trying to go from the defense to the offensive

>she tried getting another guy over
More poor decision-making on her part.

It's time to move on OP.

>>18478137
Actual police officer here:
Incidents of false rape complaints due to regret and or wanting to hide the truth are staggering and common. It's a blight on trying to work on real incidents where doubt of veracity enters the frame

Very simple:
Either she didn't get raped, she's lying, there's no trust in the relationship, end it.
Or she did get raped, and you don't believe her, there's no trust in the relationship, end it.

In any case what she described is perfectly coherent with how actual rape victims react + the fact that you're making her pain about yourself and your ego is absolutely hilarious, especially since you were the one who fucked someone else in the first place.
One way or another she deserves someone better, do her a favor and get out of her life.

>>18478867
Seconded

>>18478867
>OP shouldn't care whether he's in a relationship with a false rape accuser