how to combat severe detachment issues

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good evening /adv/

had a few girls earlier this year, two of them i got along with incredibly well, third was one such ex that was unbelievably emotionally abusive

a few weeks ago, i met a girl, a writer across a game i play. we regularly (daily) improvise script off one another, for at least several hours, up to 10-14 hours. have the same disposition on just about anything, same philosophies, same mental situation (crippling anxiety, depression that often speaks for the person), and we get along incredibly and don't fight.

this isn't the first time i've had detachment plague me, but its extremely come and go this time around. there are times this girl would bring me to tears from her past stories / how she views me, and how touching it all is. on the other hand, there are hours, sometimes entire day/night cycles where i am spent feeling emotionally numb.

a complacence that i've tried, and thought about past girls or exes i would have any sort of residual feelings for, or ANY situation that could evoke such feelings - and nothing comes up.

i've dropped all other women i've spoken to for this one; something i have NEVER done before. i publicly refer to her as my own, we're pretty couple-y, etc.

however, when she's not around, my mind seems to empty. my motivation for things often falter, i constantly re-read our conversations to make sure everything went well, and so on.

now's probably important to mention that the anxiety and depression is such that there have been times in the past i've told her i've needed to break away from a certain session or conversation because i felt i took a wrong step in our roleplay, or i said something "wrong", when she assured me everything was the perfect, that i'm the best writer she's ever witnessed, that all she wants to do is forever be under my wing, that she's never before had as decent or as faithful a guy in her life, etc

(cont.)