Hello /adv/
I've been wondering about my way of life recently. I always promised myself I don't want to be a beta cuck and/or phugging autist, but also not a normie.
Yet I don't know if I can follow up on my promise because I don't really think if I fall in either of the spectrums (beta autist or normie).
Get ready /adv/ because this is going to be a long one.
Lets start off with how my life currently is like.
>Just about to finish up exams, already applied for college and got accepted for college.
>Going to have well paid job after college.
>No close friends though, only ''contacts'' that I can usually have a good word with.
>Hate ''hanging out'' or ''going out'' with friends, experience feels useless and usually is awkward since I have no idea what to do.
>Rarely go outside.
>Legit autist spectrum dude.
>People usually don't notice I am a legit autist.
>Can have normie tier 5/5 bretty good chats with people when I go outside. Look extremely friendly then.
>Like women, but have no desire for relationship or sex.
>Do fap sometimes, but hate porn, porn does nothing to me.
>Have hobby though, like guns and mil-gear. Can say I am somesort of a prepper. Sadly in my country only very few people have guns and/or interest in them.
>Don't look like a chad, but also not naturally ugly, just shabby.
Am I a robot? If so, how can I be so goddamn fucking good talkative and compassionate when I talk to people RL? (If I somehow have a trigger to talk to people that is.)
Fuck I don't want to be a robot. But fuck normie life that shit is... SHIT!
>>18474254
You should shoot up a school since you have a gun and feel disconnected
>>18474254
"robot" vs "normie".
Are those things even real, or are they pure perception (your perception, the perception of the average person, the perception of the kind of person whose esteem you think you want)?
Are they absolute, or do they depend on the situation or the observer?
Are they the only options, or is there another way of being?
Do they seem undesirable to you because of inherent aspects, or mainly because of peoples perception?
Being different (in whatever way) can be quite disconcerting. Not only because of how other people might treat you, but also because it means you have less shared experiences with "the average person".
Regardless of how you end up trying to deal with that, a good first step is trying to accept it. Not in the sense of "this is the final and unchangeable reality that you can't ever escape".
But in the sense that it's no use being mad at yourself, or at the world, or other people, for the situation you're in. No use having regrets for things that are currently not working out. Because that's all wasted energy, that could be spent on trying to figure out things that make life better.
It's really cliche (and by no means a perfect suggestion), but consider reading some Stoics (Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus are both very accessible), and/or practicing mindfulness.
Stop trying to fit into labels and just do what you want to do.