About my marriage

File: IMG_20170617_162113_778.jpg (579KB, 1440x1800px) Image search: [Google]

579KB, 1440x1800px

I've been living here in London, for the last 12 years now with my wife of 3 years. I work for a private software company, which develops programs for the medical industry. And I was driven into this field by my passion for computers and by my father's desire to help people. And the woman I've been living with for the last three years, thinks that I've begun to finally have some feelings for her, after the birth of my son last year. And I don't have any love for her inside of me, beacause she's a Pakistani Briton and my parents suggested I marry her, for the financial presents that you get when you marry them. It's pretty comman to give financial presents in Islam. But I had her convert to Christianity before our marriage. And even now, it's not that I go home saying , honey I'm home, cause I really don't love her. And I haven't focused on my marriage a lot, because I'm really busy( really really busy). Please don't take this the wrong way, I don't beat her or scream at her,I never have. It's just that I know that she will never backfire. And we do get physical, I don't restrain myself, if she asks me for it. And she doesn't work, she literally does nothing. I'm 28 now, I want to take some real decisions before I get older. And deep down inside I feel that sense of guilt and remorse moving inside of me, for the fact that my son is biracial.