Was This an Affair?

>>18471546
If that's all that happened (unlikely) then no it's not an affair, as long as she stops seeing him
also pre-type long effortposts like this

>>18471546

Tell her to stop dancing with him and then approach this guy and tell him to stay away from your wife. Dont be crazy yelling guy, just be calm and stern. Just make sure to discuss this when you are calm and not in a fit of rage.

It's not a full-on affair but your wife IS a lying whore

What woman of any respect sneaks around with a 60 year old man when she has a husband and two kids back home?

And if she's letting him grope her and flirting up a storm with him then just imagine what would have happened had you not stepped in? Imagine how far she'd have let it all go?

Don't leave her, stay with her for the kids' sake, but never trust her again on her own until she proves she can control her pussy around other men.

She's a cheat and she'll do it again unless you punish her.

>>18471546
So I told her that this had to stop. She told me that I was blowing it out of proportion, that it was just fun. She understood that it would make me upset but that nothing bad had happened. I told her she couldn't contact this man anymore. About two days later, I found out that she had been contacting him again only deleting her texts before I could check her phone. Then, after I confronted her about that, I found out a couple days later that she was emailing him with a fake email account that she had created just to contact him. Finally after about two weeks of going back and forth she seemed very remorseful and was finally willing to stop. I want to say now, before I go any further, that she only wanted to dance with this man, and that the flirting was fun but, according to her, it was not what she wanted. She only wanted to dance. Finally we came to a conclusion of this sad event and she seemed extremely remorseful and apologetic, like she was seeing it through my eyes what had happened.

About a year later I found out that she had been carpooling with him again. I told her it had to stop. She apologized, explaining that she only did it to save on gas and because she felt safer having a man around when she went to these dance halls. Not a really big deal this time with no push back from her. Again, I emphasized the point that I didn't want her to have any contact with this man. In fact, when she would say that I wanted to take dancing from her I would reply, every time, I I'm not asking you to give up dancing, I am asking you to give up this man.

If that had been the end of it I would have written it all off. But something happened two months ago that will be in the next post.

>>18471574
>About a year later I found out that she had been carpooling with him again. I told her it had to stop. She apologized, explaining that she only did it to save on gas and because she felt safer having a man around when she went to these dance halls.

Theres no way you are retarded enough to believe this. Youre wife is a fucking slut and is gobbling up some old dude dick. Compile all this shit as well as examples of her being a shitty mother and lawyer up without her knowing and divorce her without giving her a dime.

>>18471579
this.

>>18471552
I am using my phone and I am doing this between appointments

>>18471556
I forgot to say that after the first incident was concluded I did confront the man. We had a one-hour conversation where I told him in no uncertain terms to stay away from my wife. Then he and I met in person where I told him here's some advice, don't date other men's wives.

>>18471574
I had never really trusted her since the first incident and I would occasionally, like once a month, check our phone bill to see who she been texting and who she been calling. I found out about a year ago that she would call this man about once a month and talk to him for 30 minutes to an hour. I decided to ignore it. I could find no other evidence of communication. Then, it became twice a month and then every week. The final straw was when I called her in the middle of my work day, which is hard for me to do, and I could tell she was on the other line. She ignored my phone call. Paranoia got the best of me and I checked our phone bill later that day. Sure enough she ignored me when she was 10 minutes into a 30 minute phone call with this man. I decided I needed to do more digging.

When I got home from work she was not home with the kids yet. I went on her Facebook and I looked in her messages and there was a message thread from an account I did not recognize. It went back a few days but I realized very quickly that it was this man. I took screenshots and have them saved in a safe place. It turns out she has been communicating him through Facebook Messenger for who-knows-how-long and then deleting the messages. He is messaging her from a group page, not his personal Facebook. So I watch her messages for a few days. At one point she and I went on a date during this time and reading the text before and after we're very disappointing. Apparently, ugh, she was going on a date with her husband and would not get to go dancing that night.

More, probably the last one

>>18471591
The final straw was at church during Sunday school I came to sit next to her and she had her phone in her lap. I assumed she was using it for her scriptures. I then got up and went home really quick and checked her Facebook. The message that she had sent the man was "I'm sorry I couldn't reply. A certain someone was sitting next to me." He said something about wishing he could get her ready for bed. She that made me blush. In church. Then her next text was you are such a good man. He said she was everything delicious.

Confrontation. What I found out was that yes she had been carpooling with him. This time they had not been meeting at a store or public place. She have been driving to his apartment and riding with him in his car. I found out that after dancing two times she went back to his apartment so he could show her a dance move on a YouTube video. I then found out that his computer was in his bedroom. He had apparently asked her for a goodnight kiss a couple of times. She had replied that her kisses were for her husband. One time she had gone to Home Depot and he had texted her while she was there. He asked if she wanted company and she said sure. They walked around Home Depot together. All of these things are happening while I am at home with our children.

She insisted, after I confronted her, that she only wanted to dance and that this man kept pushing the envelope. She let him because it was exciting. She said she would not do it anymore but that she needed time to be happy with me because she said I was blowing things out of proportion. She admitted that what she was doing was wrong but when I asked her if she had her way where would it have stopped, She said it would have stopped at just carpooling. I said that is too far.

Now I can find no evidence of communication between the two of them. But I still feel like I'm being cheated on. Was she having an affair, and was I just being an unpaid babysitter while she went out?

Thanks for reading

Yeah. Regardless of whether or not she actually hooked up with this guy - she has been lying to you, getting caught, promising to stop, and then lying again. This is being unfaithful. I hate to say it, because i cant even imagine being in your shoes, but yoy should probably start speaking to a lawyer and getting your ducks in a row incase things get even worse. Personally id say the line has already been crossed, but considering you are married and have kids with her i get that things arent that simple.

Seek legal advice, have everything ready to roll. Dont let her strike first if she chooses to go that route. Keep records of her unfaithfulness and make sure you have a case against her. You want to be able to take away everything from this women and leave her nothing if it comes down to that.

In the meantime, lay down the law. Tell her she is no longer the woman that you married, that you cant tolerate her lying to your face about spending time with another man. Speak to your family and hers about this if you have a good relationship with them. You want all sides to be on your side, because aside from the legal standpoint, youre going to need all the emotional support you can get while not allowing her to lie and get support from family when shes the one who fucked up.

Good luck.

>>18471604
She lied to you and broke your trust enough, wouldn't you say?

Whatever label you want to put on it doesn't matter. That's just the facts.

I feel so sad for you OP and I have total sympathy for you. People will tell you it's a black and white open and shut case and you should break up or whatever but, yeah, you do take inordinate amounts of shit and abuse from someone you love. Because you desperately want it to work out.

But I don't see it working out for you guys. Your wife will admit what she's doing is wrong but doesn't take the fact that it's sabotaging your marriage seriously at all. I think she's done and you should stop giving her chances because she will just keep disappointing you.

>>18471604
I said earlier that it wasn't a full on affair but y'know what?

It was. No woman sneaks around behind her husbands back for this long and goes to THIS MUCH effort without sex being involved.

Your wife, as stated, is a dirty rotten whore.

>>18471591
This post compiles more than enough reasons to drop her and never look back.

I feel bad for you OP, I really do. But as other anon said, you might have to seek a lawyer and compile evidence.
She just kept going out of her way to text him and meet him, she even let him grope her and basically did whatever he pleased because she found it "exciting". Seriously, man, if she really worded it that way, she is beyond forgiveness.

Even if there was no sex involved, this attitude is way worse than a one night hook-up. She is or was cheating on you, and the way you concluded the story makes me feel things could go wrong again at any call notice.

My condolences OP, and stay strong.

Part of me likes the idea of divorce but that's a very small part. I live in a no-fault divorce state. Also, I know how screwed men get during divorce having a friend who just went through one with his wife of 17 years. I don't want to give up my kids. We have three now. Part of me wants to stick it through until our kids graduate high school, but the smarter part of me says that's a terrible idea because all I'm teaching my kids is that I've been lying to them. I love her. I think she loves the idea of loving me. Sometimes, most times, things are good.

>>18471617
As far as telling family members, my brother knows and my mom knows. My dad knows and her mom knows. But I'm not spreading it all around to the whole family because I don't want to sabotage anything for the future if things do work out. I feel like enough people know that will have my back should the worst happen

We don't know if she has been physically cheating ( I wouldn't be surprised), but she is emotionally cheating on you. She is also violating your trust by lying and continuing to see this man.

If I were you I would ask her why she keeps doing this and seeing this man. I would bring her to a couples therapy, it sounded like you guys are religious, go to your priest and talk to him, take her dancing yourself.

Honestly if you just start taking her dancing, it might solve this problem.

She is obviously getting something from this man and it's probably attention.

Do you compliment her? Do you grab her ass randomly? Do you kiss her deeply? Take her dancing, take her out on dates? Do you fuck her to orgasm frequently? You should be doing all this.

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Buckle up, you going to church, boy.

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>>18471579
These are the posts why I'm still on this website, pure, cynic, bitter truth.

The only way to settle this is to do a dance battle with this other man

>>18471719
I was thinking more like a breakdance fight from Zoolander

>>18471684
I do compliment her. I do touch her a lot. She orgasms 95% of the time that we have sex. As far as what she says she needs, she has very few friends. She has a hard time connecting with women and likes talking to men more because they have more interesting things to say. Let's be honest, who wants to hear about somebody else's kids? Not me! So This Man became a friend to her and, according to her, if she had her way would stay at just a friendship. Someone she can talk to besides me and her mother. The problem is that he wants more and he pushes for more and she reluctantly gives in, according to her.

As far as dancing goes, ballroom dancing is her passion. Ballroom dancing is boring to me. I used to go dancing with her but I am middling at best and she is Dancing with people who had been ballroom dancing for decades. When you go ballroom dancing you dance two or three songs with one person and then dance with somebody else. I would only go to dance with her. I do not want to dance with anybody else. So I would dance with her and then go sit down. I would probably end up being more of a drag than anything.

>>18471546
Post more pics

Thx.

>>18471744
Sure, give me a sec

She's cheating and the fact that she hasn't stopped after numerous times means she doesn't care about you as much as she cares about this guy. Divorce her and find someone who will love you.

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>>18471744

>>18471546
Dude I'm sorry but this woman deserves no chance from you

As the old saying goes: Cuck me once, shame on you. Cuck me twice, I'm a pathetic cuckold fetishist who stayed with someone who cucked me once.

The only way it would have been okay to stay with her is if she agreed to cut off contact with this dude and quit dancing entirely. Stop being pathetic.

Cut off her legs. No more dancing

>>18471778
Damn she has a great body, two bad she's an unfaithfull, Untrustworthy woman. How can you have a relationship with no trust? She lied and and lied and lied. You should really make this clear to her, make her imagine of the roles were reversed and you were seeing some women in the same way, how would she feel?

Imo this shit is over since the trust is gone, start doing what you need to do op. If anything your kids will know that you stick to your principles. Get her pare ts take on her untrustworthy tendencies so she's shamed after the breakup, then she can get all the old dick validation she wants.

>>18471778
She has a nice body, I understand the old guy trying to score something with her. I think she's not being faithful to you and your kids. I don't understand why she keeps letting him doing that without cutting him out.

>>18471778
Mind to post another?

>>18471879
Will hand bra get me banned from this board?

>>18471684
>haha it's your fault she has to cheat and continue lying so she can cheat

>why did you never confront the man?

>>18471579
also this.

Your wife is cheating on you, emotionally if not physically. Anything less than completely cutting this guy out of her life and understanding what a whore she's acting like is unacceptable.

>>18471905
It might get deleted but you'll be fine.

>>18471911
I did. Over the phone and in person. I think it's time again, but the problem is he has made no commitment to me. She has

>>18471916
I'm trusting you

>>18471911
oh you did. hadn't read the whole thread.

>>18471941
Pretty nice, OP

I don't think you should confront the old guy because he's not the problem, your wife is by letting him going too far. It is her that must put an end to it. He won't stop if she doesn't cut it off

>>18471546
OP post nudes of your wife in an imgur album.

I'd love to fuck her brains out btw.

>>18471949
sounds like she would let you

>>18471962
Only if it's "exciting" though

>>18471546
>he thinks marriage will save him from cheating

men fuck married women all the time my friend.

>>18472010
I'm married and probably my wife has already fooled around. I don't give a shit as long as we're happy

>>18471941
I missed this. Can you make an imgur uplink pls OP?

>>18472076
Maybe. I'm coming back from lunch. Give me a minute or two

>>18472136
You da real mvp op

>>18472070

Kys

>>18472136
Nice!

Even if it really isn't a physical affair, which after this length of time I don't buy for a second that this hasn't become physical, an affair of the heart can be just as bad. If someone can't be there for you emotionally and is getting their emotional needs met by someone else then it's really only a matter of time before the "harmless flirting" becomes a full blown romance.

I could be more forgiving if it was really a one time thing, and just a few messages - because I can understand that when you're in something long term it's flattering to have someone else say you're still attractive. This has escalated far beyond this point.

If she's really choosing him over you, and his feelings over your's then it's clear where her heart is.

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I've never used imgur. I don't know anything about it. So until then have a nice "safe for work" pic from our cruise a few years back

>>18471719
You should start dancing with her. People that are passionate about dancing like other people that like to dance.

It sucks that your wife is in love with another man.

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>>18472201
>This is getting smashed by a 60 year old wrinkled dick

Would say that nothing happened until I saw this >>18471574 and the fact you are posting pics of her on here. As this post that you said a yr later she is carpooling to save gas (want to really save gas? Ride a fucking bicycle like I do) that is a BS lie.

I would hope that she is charging him more, make that money like a bitch is supposta.

Now to read more on yo slut. 76% of marriages fail within the first six years.... The fact that it is 14 yrs is just sad.

>>18472210
I believe her that she did not sleep with him. Maybe that makes me an idiot by I do.

>>18472246
I believe she did SOMETHING with him. Sex or not.
It's too suspicious to believe otherwise.
Mate, get yo' lawyer, make some arrangements and then make it fucking clear.
Like, REALLY FUCKING CLEAR, that either she COMPLETELY stops or you leave her. She lies and lies and lies - it can't go on. Who knows what she lied about and what she hasn't by this point?

>>18472201
Start a thread on /s/ or /r/ and dump your stash you legend OP.

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>>18472251
I believe this. I asked her if she ever DID let him kiss her and she was adamant that she never did. I believed her. She was crying at this point of the conversation. Maybe I just wanted to believe her...

>>18472246
>Maybe that makes me an idiot by I do
As long as you realize you're an idiot. "Carpools" and "Home Depot" are just slang for sucking old cock.

>>18472280
Dude, didn't you say he groped her ass? It's SOMETHING. Especially if she didn't say no and didn't stop seeing him.

She will not stop, right now you are nothing more than a beta male taking care of her babies while she enjoys sweet alpha (old) dick.

She will stop when you finally are strong enough to leave her... then you will become alpha again.

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>>18471546

Also, don't ignore the power of the symbolism of a man staying home while her woman goes into the night to dance with other males.

You have been basically, castrated.

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So I'm going to meet this old fuck (again) and have a conversation. What should I say?

>>18472354
Oh, if only it were bait. I never expected to be Cucked by some geriatric

>>18472365
Ask him if you can watch him ploughing your wifey. If he's a good guy he will agree.

>>18472365
Literally threaten his life.
"Mess with her, meet her, talk to her, look at her, and I will fucking break your teeth you old fuck" - sort of vibe.

Unless you are meeting the old man to fuck him in the ass, stop being so civilized, just beat the crap out of him and recover some of your penis.

>>18472370

I don't think you understood me; this is excellent bait. This story is obviously completely fabricated but I give your story development and commitment a solid 10/10. Take the compliment, OP.

>>18472395
Oh, I get it. You're baiting me! Bravo, you got me

I see the old man sharing the texts of op's wife with the rest of the geriatric community he is in... unless he is also rich, then op is basically toast.

>>18471546
>Hasn't kissed him or anything, but let him grab her arse
ASSUMING THAT IS ALL TRUE, I wouldn't go as far as calling it physical cheating.
However, she isn't challenging him, and she is encouraging his behaviour by sending him texts saying she was naked.
She may be emotionally cheating on you with a man that she feels she has things in common with, who gives her excitement.

>>18471574
>I told her she couldn't contact this man anymore.
ok
>About two days later, I found out that she had been contacting him again only deleting her texts before I could check her phone.
RED FLAG
>Then, after I confronted her about that, I found out a couple days later that she was emailing him with a fake email account that she had created just to contact him.
RED FLAG, RED FLAG, RED FLAG, SHE IS MAKING A SECRET WAY TO CONTACT HIM WHY AREN'T YOU SEEING THE BIGGER PICTURE
>Finally after about two weeks of going back and forth she seemed very remorseful and was finally willing to stop
Until you find out she has another secret phone or has appointments for things which are seeing him.

>>18472404

I'm downgrading you to a 9/10

>>18472070
>willingly being a cuck

Op make sure you tell her senpai she has an elder fetish

>>18472395
Yeah, there is no way that this can be true, unless op is a cuck (like why would he otherwise post nsfw pics of his wife)

>>18472485
Valid point. The pics are the tamer of the bunch. I guess it's my way of passive aggressively calling her out on her woreish behavior

>>18472475
Yeah this is going to make it sound even less credible. In talking about role play and fantasy, her two big ones are her being young, like early college and her friends dad coming and fucking her, and letting an older man with an ugly old wife know what is like to have sex with a young, beautiful woman, sort of charitable-like

She's 36, btw

OP, its called an emotional affair. And yes it IS an affair! Regardless of whether or not old man has gone all the way with your wife, it's moot at this point.

I have been in your same situation - wife of 7 years cheated on me with a co-worker. It first started as you mentioned with flirting and mildly inappropriate talks. I confronted her and told her to stop and only have professional contact with this ass. The wife promised me and agreed it was inappropriate. But guess what? She only continued to escalate to screwing this guy a dozen times! Trust me, affairs are addictive and she won't stop on her own.

What you need to do is expose the affair far and wide. Tell absolutely everyone you know about the affair and all of the old Geezer's friends and family (look up on Facebook) This will creates shock that will knock the wind out of the affair. Your wife will be furious, but she will get over it quick.

Then if the wife wants to continue your marriage, she has to agree to NEVER see or have contact with this geezer again. She also needs to agree to open transparency and allow ALL of her communication to be monitored to confirm compliance. I know it sounds harsh, but its the only thing that will work. I spent almost a year begging, pleading, changing myself for the better, bending over backwards for my wife. The affair still went forward full steam. As long as there is contact with the geezer, I can promise you this affair will continue!

>>18472579
Something constrictive. Thanks and sorry to hear about your shitty situation. Hippie it's better now

they for sure fucked you stupid cuck

>>18472593
That was me that posted the long-winded reply.

Yes things ARE better for me now and I survived the affair. We actually have a better and stronger marriage after the affair. But, it's hard to beat. Look up a website called Marriage Builders. They have a forum where you can get great advice and read other's stories on their affairs. You'd be surprised how similar they are to your situation. Mine and yours is about 75% identical from what you described in your posts.

Trust me, the ONLY way to end the affair and survive is doing the precautions I mentioned. feel free to ask any questions you may have.

I feel for you man, good luck and I hope you beat this affair!

>>18472442
Thanks for your constructive input. The more I look now that is been 2 months since this most recent affair went down I see the red flags a lot more clearly

Op, if you did half of this with another woman, she would divorce you, shame you, and take half of your belongings.

If this isnt bait, leave, while you can. Shes broken.

I honestly believe ahe hasnt fucked him, because youre religeous. Thats what religeous ppl do, they emotionally abandon you, because thats ok in gods eyes. Ive seen it before. She doesnt love you anymore. She knows it. Shes acting on it now. This is one of the reasons I hate religion, it turns ppl into hollow shells.

Excitement, at this point in here life is more important to her than you or her kids. Because she didng live that life of "sin" before marriage, shes reverting to it now and doesnt appreciate you.

>>18471941
Someone repost the image please,she is so hot holy fuck I can understand the old guy trying to have something with her,I cant understand your wife tho,seems like she wanted to make her fetish older man real

>>18472662
We had actually role played the father of the friend one a couple of times. After this whole thing went down I told her that this experience has been spoiled and I will never do that roleplay again

>>18472658
I can see this. We were both virgins and we got married at 22. And now that we have 3 kids exciting times in our lives are when we wake up at 3 in the morning because our son peed through all of his bedding or our other son split his head open on the brick fireplace

>>18472673
Are you actually trolling or you are just the chillest man alive?

Also post the image man,I missed it and it feels bad

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>>18472685
I have had a lot of time to ponder this situation and I am trying to figure out where I go from here. But, yeah. I am pretty chill. Pic incoming soon but don't want to get banned. No nudity, btw

You know what... After all the times that you've found her lying and sneaking around with this other dude, while I would probably feel hurt, I wouldn't be all that upset.

You already know she's a liar. You already know she's going to betray your trust. You already know that to her, whatever excitement she's getting out of this relationship is more important to her than you are. You're getting more of the same. Over and over again, it's just more of the same. How can you be upset by that? You can't honestly have expected anything different.

It's not what I would want in a marriage or a relationship with someone. Obviously your marriage isn't what she wants either.

If it were me, I would let her go. Tell her you're done, you want a divorce and she can go find the excitement or whatever bullshit it is she thinks she's missing from her life. You'll have the freedom to find someone who you can trust and who wants to be committed to a life with you.

Yes, divorce is expensive. Yes, it's going to be a major upheaval in the life of your children. I think that in the long run that's going to be better than growing up in a cold marriage where the love has died.

I feel really sorry for the kids.

>>18472775
>I wouldn't be all that upset.

You have NO IDEA how upsetting this situation is. I can tell you have never been in one like this.

When you have invested as much as OP has in his wife for well over a decade, it's hard to just throw it all away. If the love and marriage was ever strong to begin with, it can weather the storm.

His wife is doing what we can cake eating - he is fulfilling the majority of her needs. If he wasn't, SHE would be the one asking for a divorce. As long as she can get away with being a geezer pleaser for her sick excitement AND have her loving and supportive husband by her side, she'll keep on doing it.

OP, it's time you let your wife know you are serious - end ALL contact with the geezer for life and allow ALL forms of communication and contact to be monitored. If she says no, tell her the only other option is divorce. Only when you show her you are serious and hold up to it is when she will stop.

The marriage can still be saved IF you want it to be. If not, just end it and save yourself the grief. Some things in life are worth fighting for. It's up to you to decide what.

>>18472846
I try very hard to not get upset by reality. I try to accept it and respond accordingly.

It's not shocking or unexpected that she's lying and sneaking around again. This is what she's been doing for over a year. You KNOW this is who she is. It's not some anomaly in her character. It's not a mistake. This is the person she's shown herself to be, over and over.

Her behavior is predictable. Being upset over her behavior is foolish. Thinking that she will change is foolish.

You're delusional if you think OP can save the marriage by himself.

You're someone who believes that you know how to MAKE people behave the way you want them to behave. You don't. It's delusional to think you do.

Giving her an ultimatum isn't going to save this marriage. An ultimatum is just more of the same. It's making a bunch of noise, accepting some bullshit promises, and then pretending that just maybe she isn't who she is.

OP needs to accept who his wife is or he needs to leave.

He needs to leave her, if he has any self respect. Theres lots of other women who would love to go on a cruise with him who are loyal.

>>18472949
>This is the person she's shown herself to be, over and over.Her behavior is predictable. Being upset over her behavior is foolish. Thinking that she will change is foolish.You're delusional if you think OP can save the marriage by himself.

You clearly haven't lived through the life-shattering event of an affair anon.

She is not acting like the woman she was when OP married her. Call it "temporary insanity" or whatever you will. A lot of victims of affairs describe it as their spouse being taken over by an alien. AKA - The person they see before them is totally alien and NOT the person they fell in love with and married. I lived through it and that is what I personally experienced. Temporary insanity is just that - TEMPORARY. Given the right circumstances, his wife can recover from this and turn back into the woman he once knew. We are all human and capable of horrendous things in our moments of weakness.

You say OP can't save the marriage by himself. Well, did he need someone else to fall in love with his wife? It only takes 2 to fall in love and only takes 2 to fix love. They both loved and cared for each other deeply in the past to stay together as long as they did and have kids.

An ultimatum is a wakeup call, not a "bunch of noise" So long as OP is firm and sticks to it, it's his best chance of ending the affair. Plain and simple.

>>18473077
Calling it insanity, "like being possessed by an alien" takes the agency from the cheating partner. As the person being cheated on this is how extreme it may feel like, but from the cheaters view? Nah. They are acting 100% conscious

No one in this situation seems clean. Your wife is lying to you, the old man is a handsy perv, and you're posting pics of your wife on 4chan.

Honestly it sounds like your wife is living out a entertaining fantasy. It's romantic and exciting to go dancing and flirt with a man who is obviously attracted to her, even if she has no intention of sleeping with him. I strongly suggest telling her you demand the two of you go to counseling or speak to your priest. Give her an ultimatum so she will be forced to wake up and realize her daydream is seriously threatening your marriage.

It seems hinky to me that you monitor your wife's communications so closely. Obviously she's proven herself untrustworthy, but the fact you thought it was okay to go snooping through her phone and emails hints at deeper issues in your relationship. Her desire to have something private and secret from you may be partly to blame for her behaviour.

>>18473183

No one is dismissing anyone or transferring blame here. But if a woman is acting uncharacteristically, you know it's not the norm. His wife's cheating is a relatively RECENT development. She didn't used to be this way. Otherwise, OP wouldn't have married her. Sure, she is "conscious" but not acting like her self. If you lived through something like this, you would understand!

>>18473276
OP here. I can honestly say that I hate going through her Communications. I hate feeling like I can't trust her. I never used to. I literally found out about the first time she was communicating with this man inappropriately because I accidentally saw a text she had left up when she finished talking to him. As I went to turn off her ringer it was right there in my face. Seeing something that I obviously was not supposed to see which she then denied has shattered my trust in her. After the first incident things got better. Then the second, short incident, of them carpooling together resolved relatively quickly. But now, after the third time I feel like third strike and I'm out. My trust is gone and I don't think I can ever get it back

>>18473322

You cant. You arent a part of their "club".

>>18473322
If you don't really believe that she's physically cheated on you yet, then I would say getting divorced over this situation seems rash to me. She's lied to you and I guess I understand if you honestly feel you can never trust her again, but I hope you two will at least try to get some counseling before making that decision.

Okay. Some great advice, and some not so good advice. But my question now is should I contact this guy to get his side and maybe glean some more information of what actually happened? So far the advice I have gotten is to either threatened his life or beat the crap out of them so I can get my penis back. Neither one of those are going to happen. Is this a path worth going down?

>>18473322
She is cheating on you, divorce/break up.

>>18473375
Go to his Facebook?

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Thanks for everyone who hung out with me today. I will probably stop monitoring this thread. For anyone wondering, yes this is a real story, yes I am worried that my marriage is over, and yes my wife is dancing tonight. She danced last night too. I am currently writing up everything so that if things go south or measures need to be taken I have it all documented. Thanks for reading and helping me out

>>18473463
Nothing on there but dancing stuff. I have his phone number from our talk 2 years ago

>>18473077
You're trying too hard to validate the decision you made my friend, thinking its a psychological disturbance just because its out of the standard behavior is too much naivety, people who flirt/cheat are 100% concious about what they're doing like >>18473183
said, force somebody to behave like the person you thought they're is just pointless, people who cheated once will likely do it again if given a proper opportunity, you have absolutely no control over this, if you're okay about living with an unfaithful person just because you're too scared to throw what you have away, fine then, just don't force this delusional mindset into other people.

>>18473276
people complain about privacy when they have shady things they don't want others to know about, my gf has access to all of my shit and so do i with hers, keep things in secret is pointless when you have nothing that would put you in trouble.

FUCK marriage. Never worth it.

>>18473704
That's not true, like an uncle of mine said, "marriage can be the best or the worst deal you will make in your life", the problem is that people nowadays don't give it the proper importance due to detachment from culture and trivialization of family values, divorce laws doesn't help either, its good to have someone to share your life with, to help you with finances, to take care of you when you're sick, to have children and stuff, you just need to do it wisely, most people in my family are in long term marriages because they take it very seriously(they're kinda traditional), just don't lose hope yet.

>>18472228
>76% of marriages fail within the first six years
Need source on that, its just hard to believe that divorce rate is this high.

>>18471574
She keeps putting him and fun before you. My guess is more than dancing has transpired and she's lying about it.

Even if she isn't fooling around she is completely disrespectful and cares little about your feelings.

I'd suggest a shovel and some lime, but I have "anger issues"

>>18473471
Good luck

>>18471778
She has had three kids??

This whole thing has got to be bait. How can someone good enough to have a hot girl like this and make three babies with her be so dumb?

>>18471948
This.
How is it the other guy's problem when OP's wife cant stop sucking cocks? If yall niggas was single and OP's cunt of a wife was inviting you to smash her pussy, which one of you would say no because she is a married woman!

>>18472387
As if the threats have ever stopped a guy before. Look at OP's wife's pics and now imagine if you are 60 and smashing that ass, would you care if a cucklord "threatened" you. I would laugh in his face because i would already know this cuckster is too much of a pussy to do anything.

>>18472579
I like this idea of taking away the thrill of cheating. If everyone knows about her affair, it is not exciting for her...at least with this guy.

>>18473471
Good luck my man

>>18472658
Emotional or physical affair...what does a physical affair mean? Does it qualify if he didnt put his penis in her vagina? Ass fucking or bj is ok? What if it was only the tip off the penis that went in the vagina? Does that count? What about his tongue entering her vagina? Does that ccount as physically cheating? If so, maybe he only licked it from the outside without ever letting his tongue "enter" the vagina. Would it be physical cheating then?

My point here is that it is OP who gets to decide if she cheated on him. To me, my ex wife willing to meet a guy in privacy was equivalent to cheating on me. I dont care whether his dick went in or stayed out...or stayed in his pants. The moment she decided she wanted to meet him without letting me know was when it was over between us. OP is such a cuck that his boundaries a lot less rigid. That is why she is "saving gas" by carpooling.

>>18471948
I think it makes sense to at least try talking to the guy, trying to be nonthreatening / nonconfrontational though. Just to inform him that she's in a monogamous marriage with you, in case he doesn't know.

In the end I wouldn't go after him / try to fight him if he kept pursuing her, since it's really her that's betraying you.

>>18473981
Man are emasculated nowadays, they put up with whores shit because they're afraid of dying alone, if had given an ultimatum at the beggining of this drama, she wouldn't have gone this far, instead, she keeps pushing her bullshit on him and probably getting turned on from doing something behind his back.

OP here. I guess I am still monitoring this thread. To everyone who has given advice saying divorce or leave, quick question. How many of you have been in a serious relationship where kids are involved?

OP, don't blame the old man. Your wife is the only to blame. There is no sense in confronting him. He is not betraying your trust. Your wife is.

Are you a Christian? Remember that Christ told us that we should always give the other cheek.

But fucking remember: we only have TWO cheeks.

You have turned your face around enough you should get a priest to exorcize you. Your buttcheeks don't count either.

Just leave her, man. Take your children with you. I imagine they're beyond the age of breastfeeding already.

>>18474112
Stop with this "muh kids" bullshit, we all know that you're putting up with her shit because you love her and is holding on to the ideia of fixing things up.

Your situation will not get better, your wife will keep humilliating you, you gave her many chances, but she kept lying to your face, leave while you still sane is the better option, a good term divorce is way less traumatic to kids than resentful one, believe me.

>>18474112
I am in a serious relationship. I would forgive my fiancee once, but not twice.

>>18473958
All of this

This old fart is having the time of his life, no shit you say to him will change this situation, if anything he will just think that you're more pathetic than he thought.

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>>18471735
So I would do two things, try in someway to get her more friends. You two should go out and do something social, where you both interact with other people. Basically get her more friends, this way she won't be as dependent on this old asshole.

I understand that you don't like ballroom dancing, it's uninteresting to me as well. However, a relationship is about compromise and making it work, not just hoping it will work. There are many different types of dances they do, not just waltzing. Salsa, for example, I think is considered a ballroom dance. Or maybe even swing dancing. Plus the more you do it, the better you will be and I'm sure your wife would appreciate it. hell you may even learn to like it. Dancing isn't just about moving around on a floor, it's about physical communication with another person.

Anyways that's all the advice I got for you bro, I do hope it works out for you. My parents were in a loveless marriage and only stayed together for their kids and they were miserable.

Oh, I just thought of something. This maybe a bad idea, but it's a thought. You could try hanging out with your wife and her friend. This way, you can call him out on any inappropriate behavior and better monitor their relationship. Maybe if you befriend this guy you could introduce him to women and get his paws away from your wife. Just a thought, as it seems your approach hasn't been working, so maybe it's time to change tactics.


Good luck.

Women are emotional creatures, try to put her in your shoes. Ask her how she would feel if you were haning out with another woman and acting how they do. Make her feel like what she is doing is wrong and that she is hurting you and her/your kids.

If you are building evidence for a divorce, either follow them when they go "dancing" to see if they actually go dancing or if they just go back to his place to fuck. If you don't have the time hire a PI or enlist a buddy with a camera.

Super red flags if they never go dancing and she comes out of his apartment disheveled (like she just fucked). You could buy a tracker and put it on her car and see where she goes.

Also talk to her family, her mom, dad, siblings, etc and ask them to talk to her about this.

>>18471546
Read entire thread. After all that I get the imoression she doesn't respect you nor care for you as a partner anymore. You're not part of her special world so you have no idea what's going on. The fact alone she continued after asking her to stop the first time shows she doesn't care about the boundaries of marriage either.

Dancing is an intimate thing. Don't marry/date a dancer unless you dance yourself otherwise she will lose attention for you and get attention for one of her dance partners, but that already happened for you.

>>18474112
OP, I married my college gf in 2003. Had our kid in 2008. Found out about her having an "emotional affair" in 2013. Biggest surprise of my life. Separated in 2013 March, filed for divorce in Aug 2013. Continued to coparent our daughter. After 4 years now we are ok talking to each other. Took a 2 day trip with our kid and her friends' families. Ex is still with the emotional affair guy. I couldnt be happier where i am. Dating, wirking hard, eiding my motorcycle, and veing an awesome dad 50% of my parenting time!
You only live once, OP. Dont waste your life. Kids are better in two happy homes than in one sad home.

>>18474149
>Maybe if you befriend this guy
The guy who grabs his wife's ass and ask for kisses?! I don't think op is THIS much of cuck,i hope i'm right.

>>18474072
In case he doesn't know? Hahaha! You are funny. Are you married? Asking because i would like to hang out with your spouse.

>>18474258
It was just a thought, but perhaps by the old guy putting a face to the family he is potentially breaking up, he would ease up. Plus they could try to set him up with other women, thereby moving his hands away from the wife and to other women.

I have no idea if this would work, I guess I'm basing it on the idea that people are good once they see how their actions affect other people, but then again this old guy seems scummy.

It's just that how op has been approaching this hasn't been working, so try something else. It's like throwing all your troops into machine gun fire, they just die, but perhaps if you flank and smoke the nest, you'll progress.

I do agree it doesn't necessarily fix the problems, but hey as I see it, what does op have to lose? If I were him I would have already begun divorce proceedings, but it sounded like to me he wanted to try to make things work.

>>18474310
You just don't realize that this has nothing to do with this guy, he is not ruining anything, she is, his wife is a lying whore, if this guy backed off she would find another one to fill his spot soon or later, i really don't see much he can do fix this situation, people just don't change out of nowhere.

>>18471574
How...? How can people be this fucking stupid? There's no way this is a platonic relationship. It's so fucking obvious.

>>18474371
He is with her for more than decade and they have three kids, its easy to understand his denial to be honest.

>>18474236
OP here. I agree with this. I have been racking my brain for the last month and I realize that yes, she does not respect me at all.

>>18474244
When I was in college I took some dance classes. I do know how to ballroom dance, but I don't do it every night or even every week. She dances with people who do. I thought if I became a dancer she and I could dance together. But it turns out that dancers don't dance with the same person every night, or even every dance. Let me, I would go to dance just with her. Which meant I would sit out a lot of the time because I didn't want to dance with other people.

>>18474257
This sounds nice actually. I am giving this kind of thing some thought

>>18471546
Sorry lad, but I think someone stole your wife's tits.

>>18474538
OP here. Yep, Itty bitty titty committee. But, desu, I totally dig it

>>18473471
Is this you, OP?
If so, you look like a decent guy. Well built, not below average finger size, not the best fitted suit but still it is a suit, maybe make a decent living.
To put things in perspective, how old are you and what do you do for a living?

Women are quite honestly the stupidest creatures on the planet

>>18474615
That would be me. That picture was taken 4 years ago when I was 32. I'm 36 now. I am a medical professional. My title is Doctor. That suit was slightly ill-fitting because I do struggle with weight, not severely, but I am about 20 pounds heavier than I would like to be.

>>18474633
No, desu. Its just who they are. Its like the scorpion that bites the frog when the frog is carrying him across the river..."I am a scorpion. Thats what i do." And they both drown and die.

>>18474601
Desu? Swipe to type changed that. It should have said something else, like honestly or actually

>>18474601
Flat is justice nigger.

>>18474678
meant to >>18474538

>>18471546
Your wife had sex with that man.

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>>18474658
Are you depressed or something. What is wrong with you? You are supposed to be sleeping around with all the doctors and nurses and patients. Why are you wasting your life eating food when you could be having the time of your life?

Also, your wife would probably clean you out in divorce. Sorry, man.

>>18474688
You say it like it happened just once...and like it happened only in the past.

>>18471556
DO NOT DO THIS! Mate guarding doesn't work.
>>18471579
/thread

>>18471735
>I do compliment her.
WRONG FUCKING MOVE MORON! Go to r/theredpill RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Read through their links in the sidebar.

You deserve everything that this woman did to you. You're a loser who doesn't understand women at all. Learn game if you want to fix your marriage.

>>18471735
> She orgasms 95% of the time that we have sex.
I doubt it. She's faking it but you're too dumb to notice.

>>18474714
There's nothing wrong on complimenting a woman, you should just do it moderately so she will not think that you're putting her on a pedestal.

>>18474678
>>18474601
LOW TEST! No wonder you fools get cucked. SAD.

>>18474722
No joke. I seriously doubt she was faking. It's fairly obvious when she climaxes. We went a year and a half batting 1000. Especially when she's pregnant she's not to difficult to get to orgasm

>>18474946
Not him but i believe you. Like i said earlier, it is the thrill of doing something you are not supposed to do that is exciting for her. Not the orgasm or lack of it. Take that away from her.
Next time you check on her text etc, take pictures of her screen with your phone and save them for later use. I know you said no-fault state but they are still helpful because your friends and family are not no-fault people. Good to have something rather than nothing.

>>18471621
>It was. No woman sneaks around behind her husbands back for this long and goes to THIS MUCH effort without sex being involved.
Exactly anon. OP is a fool.

>>18474425
The lying is a killer, the disrespect is a killer, her choice of him over you for over a year is a killer and what married woman hangs out in another mans bedroom to watch video. God damn OP your wife acts like a single woman because she has you to baby sit. Go to an attorney and let them guide you through getting rid of her. Oh, you keep blaming the man but its your wife that sneaks around and lies to you.

>>18475046
I am not blaming the man at all. He has made no commitment to me. My wife has! I blame her completely. The only reason why I was thinking of talking to him is to find out if maybe there's something more that I didn't know about...

... and to make him feel like shit. Last time he and I had a talk he got shingles a week later. Here's hoping for another disease, maybe IBS or ulcerative colitis!

Get legal advice, submit all your evidence to a third party.

>>18475056
Yeah but OP that didn't stop your wife. I've had a wife cheat and the last thing I wanted to do is believe she would do that shit but she did and she was successful for awhile convincing me I was crazy. I wasn't but was an idiot. I consulted an attorney with all the behavior and it was easily enough for grounds so we made a plan, set a dead line and I filed. When confronted with all the incriminating behavior she chose to settle instead of having it made public. She was also trying to protect her boss, her lover.

I imagine your wife will protect hers.

>>18474964
I actually spent a good chunk of my evening yesterday writing up what has happened. I have pics of the most recent texts as well as pics of our phone call history (and the history itself). I don't know what will happen yet but thanks for all of the good advice everyone

Damn OP I was just about to jack off and then I wandered into this thread.

My dick is now soft and I have these feels

My true condolences brother, I'm not married but this has happened with a girl I dated. It is a crushing feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you and your kids do alright.

Practical advice though, confront the geezer and tell him you're gonna put his face against pavement if he goes near your family again.

Will monitor for more updates from you,

>>18473774
I'd rather stay alone. Been dateless and single for almost a decade now. My life is better now than it ever was with a female involved.

>>18473952
I would.

There's never going to be any way to tell for sure if it was an "affair" (whatever that means), as even if she's telling the truth, trust is obviously broken.

However, even in the least horrible interpretation of events (it was innocent on her part, she was doing it only for attention and nothing happened) it speaks volumes about how she feels about you and what your relationship is worth.

Sorry dude.

>>18471719
This. It's the only way.

Kek

Not proof of affair but your marriage is already infused with cancer.

May want to just play dumb, and collect evidence, contact a divorce lawyer RIGHT HE FUCK NOW, because I don't know what the best course of action is to avoid getting fucked. Even if you aren't gong to make a move, at least get consolation, don't let her find out you are doing it. She's a lying whore and probably already familiar with how this guy's nuts taste. She'll probably lie in court, which is why you need STACKS of info to contradict it.

Because marriage + kids = women get your pay check and live with another man, unless you play everything EXACTLY RIGHT, and even then you might get fucked.

I know right now it just hurts, but the court system is rigged as fuck vs men and it sounds like you and the kids are headed for divorce town. Sorry.


Don't be a cuck.

>>18475492
On top of this, maybe just cut her loose, it'll buy you more time to lawyer up.

"You know honey, I've been so untrusting, go ahead and dance the night away", then bug her fucking phone.

Wow fuck this slut.

OP here. I talked with my brother, the one who already knows the whole story and he told me not to contact this dick wad. I haven't decided what to do yet but I am about to talk with my wife and we'll see how that goes

Well Anons, thanks for listening to my rantings and chatting with me for the last 36 hours. I spoke with my wife, again. It's not like this is the first time we've talked about this whole issue. Anyway, it turns out she doesn't want to fix things. So I'm pretty sure it's over. She wants to stay together for the kids sake. I don't think that's the best idea. Like one Anon said earlier it's better for kids to have two happy homes then one unhappy one. Anyway, I'll be contacting a lawyer on Monday, if any of them are actually open, and starting the divorce proceedings. Thanks and goodnight

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>>18475081
>She was also trying to protect her boss, her lover.
She was trying to protect her job, whores don't care about anyone but themselves.
>>18475292
Good for you man, but if the reason why you're avoinding relationships is because you're scared of getting hurt, i must say that you're missing out, love and be loved is a natural need, you shouldn't fight against it.
>>18476371
Well, looks likes this is it, good luck for you and your children op.

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>>18476371
Goodnight OP i wish you the best of luck

>>18471546
You're a fucking idiot and get all the cucking you're going to get for letting your wife go to ballroom dancing without you.

You should have gone with her, it would have likely brought you two closer

>talked for about an hour in the car
RED FLAG

Who the FUCK just sits in their car and talks with someone for an hour? This, coupled with all the texts you found, immediately give me a "Lying Bitch" conclusion.

>>18476371
Godspeed OP. Always sad to see good people get shit on, but better things will come to you,

Keep on keeping on, my man.

>>18476729
OP already said that he would go if it was just to dance with her and no one else, but she wants to dance with other people while he has no interest on doing so, and i get him, would you like to sit on a chair and watch your wife dance with other man?

Wait outside his house
Wait until he gets inside
Get out of the car and ring at his door
Say you just "came by for a beer" or some madeup shit like that
Follow him to his living room
While behind him, put on your gloves and take off your jacket
When he turns, grab him by the neck and throw him into a counter or a bookshelf
Punch him a couple of times, explain why you are mad and threathen him to brake his leg (basically endager his career) if he does not stop texting your wife
Go home and act like if nothing happened

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>>18476371
Godspeed anon.
Bless you & I hope you find a better woman.

>all you had to do for good and constructive advice on /adv/ is to post pictures of your wife
great thread

>>18476371
>I'm pretty sure it's over
It's been over OP. She's had a bf for over a year right under your nose. To her you are like a parent and she's sneaking out to be with her bf.

Personally, Id kill my wife if she did this. What a horrible slut holy shit.

>>18476851

He >>18475298 would.

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>>18476371
She doesn't want to fix things = she doesnt want to give up her lover
She wants to stay together for kids sake = she wants you to keep paying for her lifestyle

OP, if you get a chance, please let us know something about the old guy. What does he do? Does he have family? Rich/poor? Your wife's future course of action will depend on this guy's financial and emotional commitment.

Let me know if you are in TC and want to talk over a beer. In any case, good luck to you. Come back to update us.

>>18471546
Not sure of somebody asked this (this thread is huge) but, what do they talk about when they are alone?

>>18477345
How to save gas.

Your wife(soon to be ex) is going through middle age crisis, she gave her best years to you and your children, now she is using this old man as escapism, this happen when people doesn't meet their life expectatitives when they start to get old and want their glory days back, there's women and men who dream with building a family most of lives, while others just go with the flow to meet society expectations about their lives, i think that's the case of your wife, just to know if my projections make any sense, was she a good mother and wife until this episode? Or were you providing this whole time while she lived her own life style?

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Not OP, but what the hell is wrong with women like this? Honest question. Not trying to be misogynistic but if I was a woman I just couldn't do this.

>Have three children
>Have a husband with a successful career
>Throw it all away to dance and fuck a 60 year old

Literally everyone in their social circle is going to be talking MAD shit about this whore. I mean there is just no way people are going to not talk behind her back when it gets out she left her husband for a 60 year old dancer.

She doesn't deserve any of his money. She doesn't deserve to see her kids. She doesn't deserve anything other than a bullet to the brain. I just cannot fucking understand women at all. Why would you do this? If I had a woman who was 100% all in for us and our kids and had a successful career I'd never do what she's doing.

Is it just in a woman's dna to be unloyal? Where the fuck are the loyal women?

>>18477359

I would hazard a guess that it's because she married young and OP was her first.

>>18477359
>Not trying to be misogynistic but
>She doesn't deserve anything other than a bullet to the brain.

Good job, dude

But on a serious note, my guess is that she got bored with being a housewife AND fell out of love with her husband. She went for something new to escape daily routine.

Now, it speaks volumes of her quality; she is just a shitty human being and definitely deserves to be called out on that. However it's not exclusive to women, anon. It happens just as often that women are the ones getting cucked. The wife stays at home taking care of the kids and hubby bored with being a family man goes to fuck his side bitch.

Shitty people are everywhere. What I don't get is how irresponsible op's wife is - losing marriage and fucking up her kids' lives for some 60 yo fuck. Gross

>>18471546
>>18471574
>>18471591
>>18471604

Your first post was odd and could be misconstruded perhaps as over reacting out of paranoia (Unlikely but a possibility)

But from the rest of these posts of you explaining I agree alarm bells should be ringing at full volume and you would be reasonable for not believing what she is saying.

She has broken your trust as well, whether sex is involved or not (Once again it's a very large possibility with the way she is acting.) This is going to stain your entire relationship with her for the worse.

Feel sorry for you OP. You're between a rock and a hard place. I cannot give you any good advice on this other than reassure you to act how you see best fit as long as it's collected and composed. I think you've got enough reasoning to justify your position.

>>18477419

Shitty people deserve death what can i say id say the same for a man but when a woman does it its worse because of how easy mode life is for a pretty woman

>>18471604
Fuck, the levels of lying whore are going off the charts. There's such a thing as emotional cheating, anon. She's directly doing what upsets you and you have confronted her about it rationally so there's no confusion. No one in a relationship should have a connection like that with anyone else. Especially when she is going behind your back to maintain it.

If i was her kid id look back on this and think my mom was a retarded slut

>>18477468

This is a good point

What do you think your kids are going to think when they get older OP? Are they going to know the truth that their mother ruined everything over a 60 year old dancer?

>>18471546
OP, just because this guy is 60 doesn't mean she's not fucking him and probably why you never took it seriously. I imagine he is in better shape than you are, she spends quality time alone at his home and in public away from the daily grind of being a wife and mother. Anyway, he is her lover and she doesn't care what you think and knows you won't do anything but complain and baby sit the kids as she dates this man. You can bet all the people they dance with already know they're fucking. She can't go over a few hours without contact with him and its been going on like this for over a year. Wake up man.

>>18477461
What kills me is she sneaks over the guys house. The shitty thing however is many married women have a guy on the sly their husband remotely may know about or not at all, at some point in the marriage. The husband is clueless because of the level of deception and the false trust. The reasons wives do this may vary slightly and some may not ultimately fuck the guys but they willingly put themselves in compromising situations. You never know. She starts a new job and working late, she goes to the gym and late getting home, you go away on business and she slips out, she has lunch every day with the same colleague and if you question this behavior it is you with the problem.

>>18477517

this is why I don't marry. Women are evil.

>>18477517
I must have missed this part in the posts (there are a lot and I got a little lost possibly) - if that is happening then it's even more of a slap to the face. She's just taking advantage of you.

If my girlfriend was doing that after all the conversations you've had I'd say fuck her. It's undefendable. I was hugely upset when my ex started (barely) talking to her ex again which is far less rational so I can't imagine how pissed off I'd be in your situation. I think if it wasn't for the fact you were married and had kids (something to fight for) you'd get the fuck out of there. The reality is though, she should be fighting for the marriage, you, and the kids, but instead she's only interested in seeing some old cunt behind your back. Like this dude >>18477468 said anyone, even kids, would find it a disgrace.

I think you did good after maybe 1 or 2 first lies. But after that she's abusing your trust and although "is only dancing" sounds fine to me at first time (like lies) she insists too much to risk her marriage for that.

I will go >>18471617 's way. Seems very reasonable. As anon said is never easy after marriage and less even with the kids involved.

And remember this is not because "she did X". It is because she broke your trust, whatever she did along it.

>>18477520
I don't understand when guys always bemoan not having a gf or wife. Somehow believing they are special and the woman serious when all they are is temporary. OP has been the perfect dupe. He's educated, professional, an engaged father providing a stable home and wants his wife to enjoy her life. You know a decent human being. Instead his wife disrespects him, speaks ill of him to a lover and lies to his face.

>>18477532
Sorry but I'm just an anon commenting not OP. But she was sneaking over the guys house, ostensibly to carpool. She admitted to going inside, even his bedroom to watch a dancing video. Yeah, right. A married woman hanging out with another man in his home, alone and lied to have that opportunity.

>>18476371Bless you good man,its hard to find the right woman but that doesn't mean they don't exist.You know,its funny but usually that "gut feeling" is always right.There are two things when it comes to women for me,first-Do i want this woman to be mother of my children and second is that once the trust is gone its over

>>18477419
True

>>18477359
>Where the fuck are the loyal women?
I'm not sure, but definitely not dancing ballroom with an old fart.

>>18477536
Because some people are garbage, thats it, its has nothing to do with being a woman or not, the problem with these "all women are evil" guys is that they nitpick and generalizate, we could use the same example you gave with twisted roles, is not hard to imagine a man who is married to a good woman, have a comfy life and still, dream about fucking his hot co-worker or how he is missing out by just staying at home in weekends being a dad, i have example of this shit in my family, sadly.

>>18477359
Nobody is going to come on an advice board and talk about how awesome their gf is. Just because you hear these stories on a board meant for shit like this does not mean all women are whores.
There are loyal women, you just won't hear about them here.

>>18477655
They actually do exist here, we have every now and then girls complaining about their shitty bf and asking how to fix them, its just that this board is mostly composed by men.

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>>18477641
>Because some people are garbage,
A LOT of people are garbage.

>>18477655
you haven't spent much time on a girl board and how they bitch about their bf and how they lust for this or that other dick and how they get it and fool the bf. Even there you have a woman or two sound troubled by the comment and behavior but they always have their own experience hidden that comes out eventually making them as bad or worse. Any way the reason you don't have many women calling other women out on adv is because they either agree or have done the same or contemplating it.

OP here. Sitting in church a second ago and my wife moved or daughter over so she could sit next to me. She put her hand on my back and the back of my neck and I cried. I'm such a cuck!

>>18477775
This is so oddly specific that I can't tell if it's bait or not.

>>18477775
She's keeping up appearances for your daughter and all the people around you. Its not sincere. She knows if you divorce there will be explaining to be done. She wants you to go along with the sham as she continues to fuck her lover and appear the perfect wife and mother.

>>18474714
GTFO off my board

>>>/r/eddit

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>>18477775
It is sad OP. Death of a relationship is a sad thing. You should be sad. But remember it takes two to make a relationship. You cant do it alone. Dont forget she prefers her bf's dick more than her relationship. She could have acted rationally and saved her family all the times that you gave her a chance. So my advice to you is this: Be sad but also be angry. You endured more than a normal person would have but she disregarded everythibg for her selfish needs.

>>18477775
Oddly specific because it just happened. Am now walking the halls with a fussy 22 month old

Hey it's OP again.

I obened my wife's banties to broceed with the intercourse and there was a delicious creampie waiting for me. But there was some gray hair mixed inside, I think from the 60 year old man. Should I eat it? I am such a cuck lmao XD

>>18477775
I highly doubt it's the OP

>>18477839
>obened my wife's banties to broceed
you text with a lisp anon

>>18477700
>percentage of people who say they'd have an affair if they knew they would never get caught
>nearly fucking everybody
I hate shit like this. Just get out of the relationship if you'd rather fuck someone else. I've been in that place and looked at myself and how I felt upon reflection about the relationship and thought "damn, well I don't want to be in this relationship so I need to call it off".

>>18477874
>Damn there's this much of greedy and selfish people in the world?!
Welcome to the jungle baby.

>>18477839
Pl go back to /b/. Leave /adv/ alone.

>>18477775

Ha this aint op

>>18471546

Well, I doubt she's gonna fuck the 60-year-old. It's flattery, it makes her feel good.

>>18471778
You sure you don't have a cuck fantasy mate? For someone getting annoyed at her carpooling you sure post her easily.

>>18473945
She IS a dancer if OP is correct

OP you mentioned you two go to church. Have you talked to your pastor about this? Have you been praying about it? How is your spiritual life? How about hers?

>>18477775
Fuck you troll

>>18478240
Thanks mate
>>18477839 is me

>>18471546
OP download dr fone and read all of her deleted texts with it, you'll know the truth that way.

>>18471546
why are you posting pics of your wife for other guys to jack off to? No wonder why you are settling with her dancing with another man you get off on her being desired by other people.

Don't you think its incredibly disrespectful to post intimate pictures of your wife? Maybe you deserve to be cheated on.

>>18471719
And fuck him too, the only way to uncuck yourself is to ride that bull.

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>>18478708

neither are. Im op

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>>18476371
You were too good for her OP, I can't say I'd have the heart not to cast the bitch out after the first incident. It's best you file for divorce as soon as possible, compile ALL evidence, every possible thing, any of her arrests, DUIs and such, any record of her threatening you in any way, everything on her cheating on you. I hope you have good money saved up, drain all of your bank accounts fucking NOW, raid your rainy day fund or any loose cash and put it some place she can't get to, get any and all of your assets away from her, put them in your mother/brother/sister's name or whatever you have to do. Open up a new bank account and start saving everything you can, I remember when my dad went through his divorce, and thank God he had a union lawyer or he would have drowned in lawyer fees. Be wary OP, courts are bullshit and favor women so hard, my dad had to pay weekly alimony, lost half his annuity, half his pension credits to her - mind you, my mother was an alcoholic with several DUIs and various other drunken charges on her record, along with child abuse, and two documented cases of her trying to kill my dad. He barely managed to get custody of me and my siblings, and she did not have to pay a cent in child support. It's absolute horseshit OP, and the longer you stay with her the more she gets. I don't know what state you're in, but for the most part the courts are fucked. My mom pulled this exact shit when my dad figured out she had cheated on him on numerous occasions, "stay together for the kids", NOPE, she wants you to keep supporting her. My dad fell for it and she managed to drain his bank accounts and buy tons of shit with his money over the few years they stayed together. His only regret was not filing earlier and not going as offensive in court and providing more evidence. Godspeed OP.

>>18479099cuz hes dun with her

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OP here. Yes, I did cry at church. That was me. No, I don't find any gray hairs in a panty cream pie. That was someone else. What I did do was go home and take a nap. We ended up having sex, she did orgasm btw. Then we went to the beach for the afternoon and evening. I am still contacting a lawyer tomorrow, but she is a beautiful woman and I do love her. Just a while bag of emotions right now.

>>18479085
Does this work? I don't have any evidence from the first go around and some if those texts were painful to read. I would need text messages and Facebook messages, if possible. Thanks

Pic of her and our 22 month old at the beach today. The kids had a great time, especially the youngest (pictured)

>>18479806
>Having sex with a woman you're about to divorce.
The fuck?! Also, don't be dumb op, don't buy by any second that this woman loves you, she is just fulfilling her duty as a wife due to her religion.

>>18471546
How is your wife fat but have no tits

>>18471546
tell your wife that she can't see him anymore. keylog her tech. also confront dude directly and revoke his pussy pass.

your woman does not respect you.

kick his ass and break one of his legs if he disrespects you.

>>18480415
ah, kidding OP. please do not cause harm to anyone. but seriously, you should directly speak to the man. communication is good.

dancing is foreplay, its made to want to fuck eachother, you gotta be dumb OP

only exception MIGHT be profession dancers who attend competitions but considering how attractive both men and women there usually, theres probably fucking happening every now and then

you married a whore, too bad

You wife looks 8/10+.
when did you met? college? was she a virgin?

Hey op you need to heavily research divorce in your state and get the best lawyer you can afford. It's very common for men to be fucked with lifetime alimony, child support or even not being able to see your kids.

Purchase a voice recorder or just use your phone to record any conversation you have with her. Try to get her to say she doesn't want to fix things or that she is fucking him, etc. basically you need proof of infidelity to help your case and get you the best deal.

>>18471604
You can call it emotional cheating, but at the end of the day, she betrayed your trust. It's cheating. Flat out. Pure and simple.

You asked her to stop, she didn't listen. Multiple times. Drop her and be done with it.

>>18480573
>"Huh, excuse me good sir, could you please stop touching my wife's ass and asking her for kisses?"
I swear, this board is filled with spineless cucks.

>>18471546
She's lying to you Anon. Take your kids to another country and don't let her be wise to it. You will lose your kids, your income and basically your life will be shit because they have the pussy and that's all the courts care about. Maybe you could just tell her you want to take the kids on vacation but the never return. Hide your assets, move them around. You have to become a sneaky fuck about it, it's the only way you come out of this ok.. I've been down this road my friend.

>>18471579
This
>divorce her without giving her a dime.
but not this... Unless you are filthy rich and highly connected, it ain't gonna happen. Cunts control the courts.. My lawyer was my congressman and he couldn't do shit for me except take my money. I lost everything. I agree with everything else tho..

>>18471546

Femanon here, this is a non-issue. She was completely honest when you asked. I believe her, that she's just flirting.

She probably should've told you before you asked, but she told you now. She's not gonna fuck the old man, but his attention flatters her. It makes her feel sexy. Then she comes home and fucks you. She probably misses being chased around because the marriage has become stable/content, and she's fulfilling that need only in a safe way without engaging a guy she'd actually leave you for.

>>18471604
>Was she having an affair, and was I just being an unpaid babysitter while she went out?
Yes and you are a cuck for even asking this. You probably deserve to get cheated on. Grow a pair and show this cunt who's boss. Take your kids and GTFO without her finding out. You will lose everything if you don't. Courts DGAF about if she's cheating on you even if you have evidence. Courts are not gonna help you because you have a dick. You're not gonna resolve this in court, it's totally tilted towards cunts. If you want to come out of this ok, you have to man up, hide your emotions and do what you have to do to get you and your kids as far away from her as possible (another country) but you can't let her find out about it or you're fucked.

I was going to weigh in on the texting/talking behind your back thing because my long term gf did it too. Except she had 0 physical contact with the person during our time dating(who happened to be her ex). Straight up confronted her and she apologized she didn't realize how it would make me feel. She decided to stop talking to him once she saw how it affected me. I felt betrayed and a lack of trust originally (because she was hiding the messages from me too).

If she (or any other gf/wife) kept on talking to someone behind my back while actively trying to hide it along with constant physical contact like the dancing I'd be fucking pissed. Would not trust her at all and would want to be done with that relationship.

>>18476371
I was slowly reading through this thread then i got to this post OP. Yeah absolutely don't stay together. My mom and dad tried to do this when me and my brothers were about 8-13 years old. Could feel the tension as a kid/preteen and it was weird. They're both much happier separated. I know the kids might cry and not understand why, but one day they will understand.

>>18479806
>having sex with her
anon don't make it harder on yourself

best of luck...

>>18471719
>The only way to settle this is to do a dance battle with this other man
Yeah like that's gonna solve anthing except get him arrested and now the courts have another reason to take his kids away from him. he's "violent" really bad advice.. Let the bitch fuck his brains out. Part of the excitement for her is because it's wrong. If you make it okay the excitement is gone. Make your plans behind her back while making her think everything is okay, take your kids to another country and DO NOT let her onto your plans.

>>18481208
OP her. This is her take on the situation. It is what I was inclined to believe at first. Any ideas how to get her to stop once and for all?

>>18481285

Tell her parents what she's doing? tell her friends? Honestly outside of ruining her social life idk OP

You tried giving her an ultimatum. She basically said that shes gonna keep doing it even if you divorce her.

Have you tried telling her how terrible of a person she's being? IDK man, women are batshit fucking insane. I wish I had a man like you, OP. Your wife is seriously a fucking idiot for shitting up everything like this for the sake of a 60 year old.

On the other hand, maybe she just wants you to dance and this is her fucked up way of getting you to dance.

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>>18481385
She wants me to dance, but at her level (i.e. take more classes, dance every weekend). And then, when I get to her level she would still dance the way she always has, 2-3 songs with one dancer, 2-3 songs with the next; I would just be added into the rotation.

>>18480859
We met our senior year of high school and dated for a few months. Then we went to different universities and ended up together a couple years later. We got married 4 years after high school. Both virgins on our wedding day. For people saying there's no way she was a virgin because she went to college, we both went to church schools and not losing your virginity while you were there without being married is a good way to get kicked out

>>18481244
>>18481211

Moving around the world's is not an option. My family is here, my licensing is here, etc. And besides, pic is my other family picture

>>18481480

have you considered ruining her social life yet?

You dodge the question every time it comes up. I guaranfuckingtee that everyone in her social circle is going to think she is trash for what she is doing.

>>18481490
If it finally comes to divorce and bullets start flying then I will make everything public. I don't think that it's the time yet

>>18481540

Well then I don't know what to tell you anon. You clearly don't want people to know you're dating a whore but the reality of everyone she knows treating her differently because she is a dumb whore seems like the only thing that will shock her back to home.

I'm at a loss then. Discredit my advice(ive never been in a situation like this) and good luck, you seriously got fucked.

>>18481561
I just feel like that is a nuclear bomb, a last tool in my bag. I feel like it is something to hold over her head to get what I want in the case of a divorce. I don't want to play my hand too early and then have nothing to come back with

>>18481540
What makes you think she is going to change? If you threaten divorce, she will have time to lawyer up and get the jump on you. She obviously feels that she isn't getting something she wants from you and unless you change she will continue with her behavior.

If I were you I would have a calm conversation with her and ask her why she is doing this. A few drinks might make her more honest.

If the outcome of this conversation isn't acceptable then I would hit her with divorce the next day.

Living in a loveless marriage is like being in a prison, don't do this to yourself.

>>18481561
I know that your intention is good, but trying some manipulative shenanigan to make it stop will only result on her growing resentful towards op, and probably lead her on actually cheating(most likely happened already), what you guys aren't taking in consideration is that she has NO RESPECT for op, he tried, tried and tried, but she gives no fucks, she wants to live her fantasy and that's it, she is not thinking about op, her kids, or anyone else, its all about HER, it takes two willing to work things out to save a relationship, if he doesn't divorce her, he will be miserable until he realises that's the only solution, she can't be trusted, she is manipulative, she is selfish, she is a liar, those are more than enough redflags to put an end on ANY relationship.

OP, follow the advice that the most sensate anons are giving on this thread, contact a lawyer and prepare yourself for the inevitable divorce.

>>18481760

god i hate this woman but you're absolutely right anon. I just fucking hate her and she deserves to suffer for ruining a great looking family. This is something most people would kill for and she's throwing it away for an old dancer.

its really unhealthy to hate a woman you don't know but holy shit

>>18481771
>This is something most people would kill for and she's throwing it away for an old dancer.
Selfish people know no consequences, they only care about their needs.

The husband (ex) of my aunt left her for a woman he met on a "business tip".

I have just woke up earlier one day, left to note for her and never showed up again, left 2 children, 4 grandchildren, more than 30 years of marriage, for some whore I was having an affair, ruined the entire family, everybody hates him , And now, after 7 years, the only thing he has is a prostate cancer, karma is a fucking bitch i must say.

>>18481815
left a note*
for some whore he was having an affair*

>>18472346
this is the only way to be honest. otherwise OP is fucked

Advice to OP

Just recently broke up with me 4year old GF cuz i found out she was fucking her salsa dance partner even though i trusted her and she always said it was just a fancr partner nothing else....just watch out