Depression

>>18469954

I can't tell you what you should do, but I can tell you what worked for me. I got a job. Not a fun or easy job but one which took up all my time, physical, and mental energy. It paid well and I was able to confidently say that I was being successful because I had earned money. Pretty materialistic but hey it worked. It honestly can't hurt you as it helps future resumes and money is basically essential for everything anyway.

>>18469954
I'm depressed too. Right now on 3 antidepressants, they're doing a bit but not very much.

I relate. The world feels surreal, and while the antidepressant help me from the most violent of the horrible feelings, I still can't find any way to be too excited or satisfied about anything. Monotony monotony monotony, right?

First thing is to keep a stiff upper lip and think hard and very, very long before considering suicide. I think it can be an appropriate option given the circumstance, but definitely don't do it on a whim.

Find things that resonate with you and your current emotions, is the only thing I can say. Music, art, literature, blogs, games, whatever. Let yourself get lost in it. (That doesn't mean they're necessarily fun or that they make you feel good -- they might make you feel worse, but you can't fight the bad emotions forever. Let it run through you and it'll eventually subside a little.) Shout along to a sad song, cry if you have to, spend the entire day in bed watching death videos if that's your thing.

Also pick up an expressive hobby. Drawing, writing, singing, playing an instrument, fucking woodcarving, whatever appeals to you whatsoever. Start practicing and expressing yourself. Don't worry about it being good or presentable, worry about getting your emotions out however you can. If thats by slamming a marker into a piece of printer paper until it's broken, do it.

Do whatever you can to keep going.

Talk about it. Your girlfriend cares, and you deserve her.

I'm rooting for you, anon. Let's keep going together.