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Anonymous
Too much of a good person for this world 2017-06-29 08:51:28 Post No. 18469092
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Too much of a good person for this world 2017-06-29 08:51:28 Post No. 18469092
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I feel as though I'm too much of a good person for this world, and I can't see myself living too much longer. I'm only 22.
Even when I try to be distant and keep my guard, the real me comes out, the caring, good Christian (now agnostic) that would always do the right thing comes out eventually. But that's resulted in me getting disappointed in people who I expected to have the same standard. There is no greater good keeping balance in check, so me being good to people can still result in something bad happening to me which to me doesn't make life worth living. And I know no one is capable of loving me the amount that I'm able to love someone else.
It's a never ending cycle, I let my guard down, I get disappointed by people. I'm not sure if I can handle a lifetime of disappointment by those close to me. The only reason I haven't killed myself already is probably because of weed dulling the pain and me being smart enough to not try anything else.
The only affective way to cope for me is to sort of turn that sadness into rage. Don't think that's healthy though.
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Listen anon, that may very well be the way you feel right now, but I can sincerely tell you that there are more people like you with the same problem. All you need to do is look for them. Please, I may not know you, but please don't kill yourself. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can work through this.
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>>18469092
You are a pure, kind soul that this fucked up world needs but doesn't deserve. I was like you once, kind and nice. But being overly nice when you don't have to be is like sweet poision and honey mixed together. People will be attracted to you because of your kindness and will try to take advantage of you in the long run. This leads to the poisoning part of your life, setback after setback. It's what turns a good man into a bad one.
Do what you want with your life, I am nobody to judge. But one word of advice, treat the situation with eauality. Kind with kindness, insult with insult. Don't be a bitch.
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