holy fuck she said yes for a date! but...

>>18468529
Are you seriously going to wait around dude? You should for someone more available. Like, going on dates with multiple women isn't wrong at all. You just shouldn't do this.

>>18468529
>busy as fuck for a month

Bullshit. No one needs a month to find an evening to potentially have a good time if they're at all really interested in you, and no one tells you that they're busy for a whole month and expects you to be ok with it in a potentially romantic context if they at all respect you.

I might tell that shit to a friend I've known for years because it's no big deal if we don't see each other for a while, but not to a potential romantic partner that I actually like.

Don't be stupid, OP.

>>18468529
Been there, done that.

>she says yes to a date, but needs a month
>ask her if she's still down for a date a few days before it
>"Sorry Anon, I need another week"
>The next week comes around
>Ask her the day of the date if she's still down
>"Yeah but I'm only going be able to go out for an hour."
>u w0t
>Okay I guess
>Ten minutes later, she says she's going to need another week
>Ask her if she's actually interested
>She replies that she didn't actually want to date anyone and was going to tell me when we actually went out.

You're free to do whatever OP, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

>>18468556
Yes. I'm not very attractive, nor I know that many (willing) women.
>>18468575
I literally know her scheduled. She's in the scouts (inb4 the "u gotta be 18", we are 18) and they have many seminars and trips here.
She's in a seminar until sunday, after sunday we have a prom (but I can't go to the prom), and right after the prom she's going to a huge trip with her (female) best friend, and right after the fucking trip she has a camp with the scouts for a week or so.

I'm willing to wait a bit. I already waited 18 years, another month wouldn't hurt.

I need an advice to not fucking up texting.
>be myself (as much as possible)
>don't be clingy
>don't be TOO weird
>try to be funny

Anything else I should know?

>>18468625
See:
>>18468627


She is more than willing, but literally doesn't have any free time until the middle/end of the next month.

Ah yes. Someone set me up with their friend not long ago. She said she had a really busy week and would be available next week. That week came and she was nowhere to be seen or heard.

>>18468725
As I said, I know for SURE her schedule. 100%. I talked with her bestie about it to make sure she wasn't lying too.

Can someone say something relevant to what I'm looking for? How to not fuck up text messaging?

>>18468832
I'd highly suggest you start listening to the advice you're being given. We're telling you this for a reason.

>>18468840
While I will try to look for red flags and will check up on it later (I'm no fucking moron. Plus, I trust her bestie enough for this.)
But for now, I just need to know how to not fuck up texts.

>>18468832
Look for other people, you will foolishly be waiting for a month and then when the day comes she will give the excuse that she had a long day. Look for other people to date. You asked her and she set up an appointment like she's a fucking doctor. It's her fault if she gets mad because you're only human and you are allowed to go out with multiple people especially if she told You to hold your horses for a month

>>18468847
She didn't set it up like a doctor, we had a short discussion about why she was so busy.

Jesus, you guys only make assumptions.

>>18468529
Don't fucking fall for it you idiot.

If you actually wait around an entire month for her then she'll view you as a desperate beta and lose all respect for you.

If you're really into her the best thing to do is to try and get dates with other girls during this month and make sure she knows about it.

If she's really into you it will only increase her desire

>>18468851
>you guys only make assumptions

No, we say this from experience. Again, we're telling you this for a reason, and no offense, but you candidly admit to being an inexperienced teenager who hasn't been here before.

I mean honestly, it's not even a matter of whether or not she's lying to you about being busy, it's about understanding that at this point you don't wait a month to go on a date with someone. Period. You shouldn't be sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting on her worrying about fucking it up because you're afraid that it'll be obvious somehow that you're just biding your time until she decides that she's ready to grant you the pleasure of her company like some chump. The fact is, whether or not you know what her schedule is for the month, you don't KNOW where her head will be at in a month. That's a long time to expect someone to keep such precarious interest in someone else warm.

Have another plan because this shit is tenuous at best. That's all anyone is saying.

>>18468851
Making assumptions? Or telling you the real deal and you are not taking it to heart. Enjoy waiting for a month and being all sad/mad when she doesn't keep her promise. I will look forward to the next thread do you make in about a month.

/thread.

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82KB, 630x420px

Threads like this are why I love this place. You can learn so much about dating from other people's willingness to slap some sense into you based on having made the mistake you're about to make if you listen.

/adv/ has made me a much less needy person in relationships. Y'all niggas just tell it like it is.

If someone told me they weren't up to date until a month out I'd take it as a soft rejection, tell them to contact me if they change their mind and cut contact.

1. Nobody is that busy

2. Even if they are, they'd move some shit around for someone they're really interested in. The woman's mind is competitive. If she really thought you were a catch, she'd be afraid someone else might swoop you up in that time. This girl has communicated that either her interest is low or she has no worries about you moving on. Prove her wrong.

OP, if you're going to listen to ANY of the comments in this thread, make it mine

Here's what I have to say and I won't say anything more:

If it's going to take ONE FULL MONTH to get the first date rolling, imagine how long it'll take to see her again.

You think you'll wait that month out and then you can see her every week? If she's this busy now she'll be that busy next month.

You wanna be with that?

>>18468529
Here's the real problem, OP: you framed it as a "date."

You make it this formal social obligation which locks you both in when you ask "Do you wanna go out on a date some time?" or anything to that effect. In the future, you leave it as "Do you wanna hangout/get together some time?" That way, if she's being flaky and giving you some bullshit about HURR DURR MAYBE SOME TIME IN 2046, you can put the ball in her court with a simple "Cool. Hit me up some time" or some shit. You're not looking like you're waiting around and she's not feeling pressured which makes her more inclined to actually casually hangout with you, which is really all a first date should be anyway.

>adding in ambiguity

this seems unwise, anon

My dudes, OP here. Maybe I wasn't clear enough hence all of the comments.

The conversation went like this:

"Wanna go out on Friday? Or any other convenient time"
>I would love to
>But Friday isn't good for me. I have a seminar.
"Next Tuesday? After prom?"
>"Flying with bestie to X"
"And afterwards?!"
>Camp
"Holy shit youre busy. I'm guessing after the camp you'll be free."
>Yep

(checked all of the dates with her bestie to see if she lied, since the bestie doesn't know the contents of our conversation because even today she is busy)
That's how it went guys. I already knew she was a busy person, it's nothing new.
It wasn't sharp and hard like "only next month bub", else I would have taken it as a "no" or as her being a bitch which is "nope".

Which is why I gotta hold out for almost a month.

"ANON, go and see other girls!" dudes, I'm a 6 at best and tried many times. It's my first normal sort-of success in years. I know plenty of girls, most of which have bf's or aren't interesting.

>>18468986
Jesus Christ, you are dense. Whether or not she's actually busy is irrelevant. The point is people don't real off a litany of excuses when they're REALLY interested, even if they are valid ones.

Just look at the exchange you posted. Do you think she'd be casually listing off her higher priority social engagements to Ryan Gosling or the captain of the football or whoever? That's just NOT how people handle dating when they're into you.

>>18468986
Girls rarely give a sharp no, because it makes them seem mean. They prefer the "ignore it until it goes away" method.

It's not a 100% no at the moment, but don't hold your breath until next month. It won't actually happen until she's sitting right in front of you. Don't get your hopes up.

>>18469006
Then should I make her cancel all the events she already PAID for months ago?

>>18469016
100% agree with you. She hasn't been ignoring me either too, she still engaged in a conversation despite being busy (I had to tell her to get back to her business).

I never get my hopes up and I never expect anything, which is why I want to be sharp and careful with the whole deal. I still want to try my best despite all of the odds against me. WHICH is why I wanna know how to not fuck up via text.

>>18468529
She's gonna cancel so hard on your beta ass. No bitch puts off a date for a month. Hell if you actually made her tingle then she'd say fuck the date and let's just hang out aka sex. Don't get your hopes up cause she is spinning your wheels buddy

>>18468938
OP is probably so desperate that this is his first fish in god knows how long. Too bad it's already rotting on the line.

>>18469068
>>18469075

read the following:

>>18468986
>>18469016
>>18469049


As if you think I'm retarded enough to wait for almost a month thinking "THATS IT YES I FOUND A GF AT LAST" -_- My whole point is that it's no 100%, and my chances will probably drop if I'll text like a retard.

>>18468986
Anon she's listing them off here really fast like she's putting up barriers dude. It's one thing to be busy and that's totally understandable (and it's good you're trying to be understanding of that), but if she REALLY wanted to go on this date she'd be moving some free time around between these events to spend a couple hours with you.

Not all girls like to straight up reject someone in fear of looking bad for it, so there's a chance she's going to keep putting it off even after you get back. Or she's going to be so exhausted from this stuff once she gets back, so you'll probably be waiting over a month regardless if her intentions are legit or not.

As for texting, just don't come off too clingy or overbearing and you should be ok. She's going to be busy so it's unsure how often she'll be checking her phone anyways.

>>18469123
I only summed up the convo. It was a bit longer, and it was a list since I asked for it.
And yeah, I know girls might say yes but only to look nice or good, but for now we can't know. Also, I know she's not a shitty person so I give her the benefit of the doubt.

And thanks for the advice! At last, someone who actually gave me some advice.

I know it is fucked up. But don't take any bullshit.
Like I have invited one girl out, and she asked if she can bring a friend along. Well, I said yes and of course it was a fucking cockblocking disaster, but if she puts up with this bullshit, then just fucking leave. It is not worth your time.
Some weeks after I met a girl who accepted my invitation straight away and we had a great weekend.
And fuck all lying bitches who start inventing shit like "my hamsters funeral". Really neither worth your time nor attention OP.

>>18469049
>I never get my hopes up and I never expect anything, which is why I want to be sharp and careful with the whole deal. I still want to try my best despite all of the odds against me. WHICH is why I wanna know how to not fuck up via text.
Man you reek of desperation and you will fuck this up, I wish you luck and do your best, but prepare to fall down

>>18469154
While I do agree with you, I already verified with another person who is deeply rooted in her life if she is lying or not. She isn't lying.

>>18469161
Man, I AM desperate. It's why I'm so carefully planning everything. Literally the only ray of hope in the last two years, and I even refuse to take hold of said hope so I won't trap myself mentally in case things go south.
I have anxiety and depression dude. Of course I reek of desperation. I just can't let HER smell or feel it.

>>18469164
>I already verified with another person who is deeply rooted in her life if she is lying or not. She isn't lying.
Uhh shit, are you in high school or something?
If it is her girl friend they are probably laughing at you right now in their secret WhatsApp group man
Or did you actually think a person "deeply rooted in her life" would tell you the truth?

>>18469171
Just finished highschool.
And in no way they laugh about me in a group.
"How are you so sure?"
Because said "rooted person" is also my best (female) friend who shares a lot of personal stuff. Hell, she shared with me things she have yet to share with her. Hence my confidence in this. She was also the one who encouraged me to ask her out.

You all look too much for the backstory thinking I'm retarded.

>>18469169
Pathetic. I'm a dude and I can smell it through my phone. I'm sure she can which is why she put a month between you and her