ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Been dating a girl for a few months. We're close, but she's afraid to make things serious and keeps dodging the topic.
Just now we were absentmindedly sitting out a lecture, when I saw her texting a distant guy friend of hers shit like "I swear I'll behave" and "I'll be good and nice and won't do it again". She's insisted before that they're just friends, though they've cut each other off several times because he keeps demanding her to change.

I'm kind of pissed because she keeps avoiding serious talk from my end, but actually started pleading with a guy from the middle of nowhere who clearly doesn't want her and both walked away from several times. I want to bring it up, ask her what's up and try to help because I do feel bad for her. Would it be entirely inappropriate though? While I'm sure of what I saw, I only saw a flash of it and I'm already pissed and direspected enough to consider walking away myself.

So what do?

How am I supposed to just ask girls and get rejected without murdering my self esteem even further?

How to make out??

tried it for the first time last night and it was really wet and messy. doesn't help that my partner's lips are like twice the size of mine.

>>18465234

1) By not asking random girls.

2) By not asking out a lot of people in the same friend group.

3) By flirting before asking them out to gauge interest.

That should get your rejection rate down.

>>18465236
Just keep practising and maybe close your mouth more. It doesn't have to be all tongues.

>>18465224
Talk to her man. Tell her you're better than second prize and if she doesn't really want you and only you, she can fuck off.

>>18465158
If being funny appealing in women or just in men?
I never hear guys saying they like funny girls.
But I keep dating really too hot for me guys and I can't think of anything but my wit which would appeal to people.

>>18465256
Should I mention those texts? I'd rather not end up in a situation where she feels uncomfortable taking out her phone in front of me because oh no I might see something better hide it

If this really is a second-place thing, is it better to be the better man and leave her trust intact? Asking in general, not just here.

>>18465265
I don't think you'll be able to stop yourself tbqh, so may as well think of a dignified way to bring it up rather than blurt out anxieties about him.

>>18465265
Sorry man she's just keeping you on the backburner and it's not even worth talking to her, she'll just deflect it as your problem, because she won't want to face how shitty she's being towards you. I know you like her a lot but have some self respect.

Guys - I am very into politics and enjoy talking about it. Is it a turn off?

>>18465286
Grill here but I met my man through politics.
If he doesn't want to talk about politics why would you want him anyway? It's such a pleb red flag.

Guy here going to ask this chick out I'm pretty sure she into me even though we don't talk much due to work in separate departments. Should I ask for phone number or snap or does it really matter?

Who do niggers look like apes?

>>18465286
I've never met anyone who could talk about politics with someone else without both people becoming upset and heated, even if both were on the same political side. If you can talk about it in generalized factual terms like "oh yesterday syrian rebels bombed xxx, their president isn't doing much about it' then ok. But yes it''s a huge turn off normally.

>>18465224
Pic related. Try focus on school more and girls less.

>>18465234
Locate your balls or die alone. Your choice.
>self esteem
What are you? Back up man?

>>18465236
I always preted they are one big lollipop. Also everybody kisses differently.

>>18465260
Your biggest asset is vagina. If you have one, you almost won in the dating game already. Not being fat, smiling, behaving like proper lady and sucking dick helps too, but it isnt required.
>maybe you arent as dumb as average girl and he can have conversation with you, which is pretty rare

>>18465286
Better than fashion or gossip talk.

>>18465301
People are "online" on their mobile phone all day everyday. Snapchat? You can even turn that off. Phone number is fool proof.

>>18465335
I have the exact opposite experience. I rarely had a very upsetting/heated argument about politics.
I grew up with a neo-nazi dad and was in a far-left youth movement in high school and still could talk politics with him without getting mad at each other.

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>>18465224
Whoops.

>>18465286
Passion in general is a red flag.

>>18465341
>neo nazi dad
>we could talk about politics without getting mad at each other

I'm sorry but i don't believe you, either you are lying, you are just as racist as your dad, or you never talked about minority groups and skipped topics you knew would anger your dad

>>18465344

And then people complain about having nothing to say on dates. Not defending politics girl, because that's awful for date-talk, but you gotta have some passion in your life, dude.

>>18465343
You really like posting that picture, don't you?

>>18465347
We talk about nearly everything. I can remember one time when I got genuinely mad at him for something he said.
We both enjoy politics and we usually discuss to learn something new and try to understand a different point of view. We often talk about migration, about multiculturalism and islam.
He has his opinion, I have mine. I learnt a lot from him and he learnt a lot from me. He's probably the most interesting person I've ever debated politics with, especially political philosophy.

>>18465389

I wouldn't engage him. Attention, even negative, will make him come for more. Better to ignore.

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If this is true, what hope does a completely average dude like me have? ;_;

>>18465409

You saying 80% of dudes are single forever?

>>18465395
Your experience is the lone exception i hope you know. You shouldnt be using it as a case study or example. He's your dad he wasnt gonna go full nazi skinhead on you, his child.
So you didnt say anything about if you're racist as he is or not. You did say you learned a lot from him so perhaps you are to a greater extent than most people. Most people would not tolerate being around him at all.

i cant imagine a neo nazi would have anything of value to say about islam or multiculturalism. If he's as smart as you say then he would look into it and realiE neo nazism is fucking dumb

I don't know how to handle the situation. I've been in relationship for four months, she agreed because she wanted to "try", she broke up and now my ex-GF insists to be friends. Her agruments are that people remain friends even after worst happens, I said we can't since I still want her, and she told that the only thing I miss is intimacy, therefore she only makes bad conclusions about me, "I think I did NOTHING bad to you". Before that I set an ultimatum that we either fuck and stay FWB, or stop, and cut contact.

What I got as answer "you try to pretend you're hurt, but the only thing you cared about was sex and intimacy".

"Can you just forget and drop everything we had? I can't. I want to continue speaking to you"

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

>>18465428

Then don't talk to her.

>>18465428
Why are you letting this cunt dictate your life? Why do you have to explain anything to her? PusSYyy

>>18465389
I do. Dont forget to buy condoms!

>>18465409
There was document showing how rating changed drastically when they provided ladies with just a photo VS photo + year income. Dont worry.

Chad with no income (student) was worse than average manlet with average income.

>>18465428
It is called cut contact or learn how to say things like
>no
>fuck off

>>18465409
You can be non-average. Be non-lazy and hit the gym. Improve your attitude. Learn to flirt around.

>>18465418
Of course it's true they're not, but as a guy you don't want to feel she's settling with something lesser by dating you.

>>18465424
I rarely get mad when I discuss about politics because I usually try to understand where people come from and why they have a certain opinion more than trying to prove them I'm right.
Usually people don't get mad when you try to listen to them, even if you disagree with them. I never get in political arguments wanting to win, I get into them trying to learn.

He's not unpleasant to talk to, he has a lot of friends of different political opinions and leads a perfectly normal life. He doesn't go around beating people or burning mosques.
He has a lot of valuable things to say about islam and multiculturalism. A lot of things I don't agree with, but interesting nonetheless.
I don't think I am extremely racist, anyway.

Stop thinking that people who don't agree with you are idiots, it's probably the most annoying attitude ever and makes you sound pretty dumb.

>>18465445
>Of course it's true they're not, but as a guy you don't want to feel she's settling with something lesser by dating you.

There will always be prettier people. Unless you are literally the most handsome dude on Earth, there will always be more beautiful models and actors on TV, and unless you are the most handsome dude on your city, then she can always see someone more handsome on the street.

Unless you come to terms with that, you'll never be happy.

Also, what about her? Doesn't she have to worry about you settling too? How do you plan on combating that?

Exgf dumped me, said she'd like to be friends some day but I can take all the time I need, made contact after just two weeks of not hearing from me and now wants my D. Said she doesn't want to go back to how things were but really wants a new relationship asap. I told her I still miss her but I don't want to be with her now since I need some time to make changes, that I would like a relationship with her at some point in the future but not now.
What killed the relationship was mostly complacency and being a lazy bum on my part, the whole living together thing.
I don't have any hopes of getting back together right now since I know I need to work on myself, I don't want to go "back" either.
Am I setting mysellf up for a bad time? Would you ask your ex of one month for sex after only two weeks of no contact?

>>18465428
Well tell her you need time and/or ignore her?

>>18465468
Dont be idiot. She dumped you, it means it is forever over. Relationships dont work like when you have trouble, she breaks up, sleeps around meanwhile you put your shit together only to get her back and raise someone else baby.

Stop talking to her, block her off and find new gf. Or realize that being in relationship is hard and you are so lazy atm that you are better off single for now.

>>18465445
but that is talking about physical appearance

there are a lot of babyface/ugly ripped guys

>>18465439
>If you're ugly don't worry, you can still buy your way into a relationship

Gee man thanks.
Might as well get an escort then.

>>18465462
If you know you're substandard why the fuck would you worry about her thinking she's settling? She is the one who settles.

>>18465511

>If you know you're substandard

Wow, just because there are prettier people? Also, why would she settle is she was such a huge catch? Or do you think a supermodel is gonna settle for you?

>>18465511
Why? A possibly dumb-founded belief that that's how you can prevent her from cheating, that's why. Dumb-founded in the sense that there's a lot about the world that's not under your control, so no matter what you do she might cheat anyway.

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>>18465506
Think about it dummy. Who will girl marry? Super attractive chad who cant even take care of himself or average dude with flat, salary and car?

Also see pic related about what happens when she choses chad.

>>18465506
I think it's hard to imagine for us guys, but money and the social status strangers perceive in you for it does matter to women much more than to us. I find it as depressing as you do, but hey, at least it's sadness and not anger.

>>18465339
Nobody wants your replies. Please fuck off.

>>18465517
Girls can always date someone better, they just have to look for it.

The only relationship I ever had she left me after like 2 months because a better guy came along, and he was in love with her. So yea, girls don't really settle.

>>18465525
i've seen so many girls taking care of guys that are attractive but a fucking mess i honestly don't think you're right. except you're talking about single moms that just completely need someone to provide like pic related

>>18465547

That's such a bleak outlook. I don't know why she left you. Maybe she was being a bitch, maybe you are, maybe both. I don't care.

Let me ask something. Please, dig deep and find as much empathy as you can: Do you think girls never feel like you are feeling right now? They don't feel bad because there are prettier people? They are never afraid of their boyfriend leaving?

>>18465561
Girls have a much easier time rebounding and I'd say most of the time the breakups and divorces start in the girl. So I don't think it's really equal, I guess a few girls might be a bit insecure their bf might leave them but even if they do they can easily rebound onto another relationship.

Still the point is that girls are the ones who usually feel like they're settling, and don't have to worry as much about the guy. After all the guy is the one who initiates the relationship most of the time, why would HE be settling when he's the one who put in the effort to approach her?

>>18465573

Have you ever had a relationship were the girl did absolutely nothing?

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>>18465560
How old are you? 19? Around 23+ the priorities shifts. They break up with them and start looking for provider aka you. Do you have a job?

Otherwise pic related.

There's this girl from college (studing different major). Once in a cafe nearby she was staring at me a lot so I went and talked to her. She seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. I ran into her once again some weeks later and we chatted a little bit. I forgot to ask her for her phone cause I'm an idiot.
It's been 3 or 4 months after that. I sometimes see her and I think she sees me but she ignores me, even once when we took the elevator together she didn't say hi. Could she have forgotten about me (I mean yeah we only interacted like 1 hour in total, ever)? Is it most likely that she's ignoring me on purpose? Should I comment on this if I want to talk to her or just avoid her "too"?

>>18465588
>wait till she's done with chad and needs money to raise her kid
Seriously?

>>18465588
24 years old with a decent stable job with good career prospects, I still see friends of mine that are doing nothing with their lives with gfs sustaining them economically and it fucking kills me inside

>>18465490
But anon I slept around already and plan on doing more of it, meanwhile she's the one asking me for a dicking since she thinks all others will be inferior.

>>18465592
Literally greet her and ask her on date. You have nothing to lose.

>>18465597
Maybe spent less time comparing yourself to others and more time looking for single girls. Also why dont you have your own gf who will feed you while you do absolutely nothing with your life? Why arent you like this anon >>18465608 ?

>>18465594
Obviously. You have given up and whine on /adv/ instead of doing something productive. Also do you know you can fap? You dont need gf to survive. Either stop whining and hit silly on girls or focus on something else. I bet you arent even 18.

>>18465608
Just fuck her and break her heart in the most cruel way possible. So she can move to the two anons i replied above you. You will do them a favor. Fuck her hard and ignore her otherwise. Also are you sure you arent bait?

>>18465586
No, but what does that really have to do. Why even be in a relationship if you don't want to do anything?

>>18465624
>Literally greet her and ask her on date. You have nothing to lose.
I was thinking about that, I guess I will, thanks for the advice anon

>>18465624
Dude shut the fuck up

>>18465626

Exactly. So it doesn't matter who makes the first step, being in a relationship is an effort for both people.

Don't get on the line of thought of "women have everything easy" because relationships are not easy for anyone.

Also, a dude can totally settle for a girl that's not so attractive, just because she is easy, gullible, willing to pay for his shit, etc. People are people. Don't create this weird scenario where girls live on a cloud and only we have to do stuff.

>>18465642
It is an effort except the one who initiates it is the male and the one who pulls off and jumps to the next dude in line is the female.

So I don't think it's really equal. And yes, there surely are gullible girls being taken advantage of but I doubt the number is even remotely comparable to the amount of guys being taken advantage of.

>>18465624
>Also why dont you have your own gf who will feed you while you do absolutely nothing with your life?
i cant get a gf being financially stable and living on my own at 24 how am i going to get one being a useless sack of shit

>>18465624
>break her heart in the most cruel way possible
I am sorry broken english anon, but I have no intentions of doing so. If I fall in love with someone new she'll have to deal with it, but she doesn't deserve to be treated like shit on purpose. I kind of want her to fuck someone else, just so she can gain experience. We both went into this as virgins. If she finds someone she likes better than me, I'd be bothe jealous but also happy for her. And if she decides I am better than what's out there, well even better. I also started getting unhappy with the relationship out of fear of missing out.
Also I am in no way chad, I am on the obese end of dadbod, yet women seem to find me attractive

>>18465662

You are generalizing and playing the victim, starting off from a point of "men do the work, women hurt us". You also place a lot of value on looks.

I don't think it's your face what's killing your love life. You really need a change of outlook to be happier, let alone actually date.

Why do you even want to date? You make it sound so miserable.

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>>18465667
I didn't read the rest of the conversation but
>tfw I'm a 24 year old useless sack of shit

>>18465667
Because your self-esteem is through the floor.
Nonchad anon here, you just need to stop looking.

>>18465677
You are generalizing my point, I am solely saying men do MOST of the work and women tend to be the ones who cut the relationships which is empirically true (girls rebound with backup guys all the time and men are still the ones expected to run the courtship)

And I want to date because I'm still a lonely sack of shit that believes that one girl that accepts him and loves him and lets him accept her and love her back stills.

>>18465685
>you just need to stop looking.
Terrible advice. If you don't actively look for a gf, you won't get one.

>>18465687
>one girl that accepts him and loves him

Why should she exist? You characterize yourself as a " lonely sack of shit". Why do you think there's a girl that HAS to love you for that?

You can find someone to love you even if you are not one of the guys in the 20% of your chart. But not with this attitude.

>>18465690
Not that anon but my friend met his gf because he randomly talked to the chick on the bus.

>>18465690
>If you don't actively look for a gf

What does that entail for you? Asking out every girl that talks to you?

>>18465685
not looking is what landed me with no relationships at 24 years old

so it seems like it's damned if you do damned if you don't

>>18465695
What about those girls that have that mother instinct or whatever it is and just live to help other people, and feel special attraction for those in need? It's not just something that happens in movies.

>>18465697
Anecdotal evidence
That shit has a .0001% chance of happening
>>18465700
No. It means seeking a relationship instead of waiting for someone to enter your life randomly

I might have a date with a girl I used to work with. Whats the deal with hugging on a first date? Do I just grab her real hard and press her titties against me to assert dominance? That sounds autistic hehe

>>18465700
idk man I was at a friends birthday to get wasted and talk shit and before I knew it I was making out with someone really attractive and we started dating.

>>18465695
Lonely sack of shit is pretty correct in this case, why would I lie?

I surely would have other qualities, like I don't know, loyalty or honesty that somebody should like me for.

>>18465710
>It means seeking a relationship

What is "seeking a relationship"? What do you do?

>>18465712

Exactly, this is what I mean. You go out, have fun, and meet people. That's how you start dating. You don't "seek" it.

>>18465723
>What do you do?
You go out and meet people with the main objective of encountering women you might want to date

>>18465702

That's you big selling point? You want a girl that's looking to play nurse?

Dude, that doesn't happen. You have to offer something. I mean sure, in the whole of human history it must have happened a couple times. But that's not a viable dating strategy at all. Use some common sense.

>>18465721
>Lonely sack of shit is pretty correct in this case, why would I lie?

Become something better. Why would a girl settle for you like this? You don't even believe she'll settle, so... why do you think you have a shot acting in this way?

>>18465667
Look here into interesting /g/ thread.
>>61123664
Give up and buy sex robot instead. I bet you are just doing something wrong. How many girls have you asked on date this week?

>>18465678
Dumb frogposter.

>>18465726
>with the main objective of encountering women

Unless you are in a speed dating setting, then you are "the thirsty guy" acting like this. Your first priority should be having fun, not picking girls up. It's a turn off to come off as desperate.

>>18465667
Damn
>>>/g/61123664

>>18465711
No, if she wants you to assert dominance you have your date in a BDSM play room.

A hug is a hug.

>>18465738
i think the last time i asked out a girl was like 2 months ago and she refused obviously

the thing is i have huge performance anxiety and any failure makes me depressed and spend at least 1-2 weeks ruminating over it

so if i just tried to do the "just ask out girls until one says yes lol" thing i'd probably just end up even worse and even lower self-esteem

>>18465767

See >>18465250

>>18465767
Now you told us exactly where the problem is. You want gf as a tool for self validation and source of happiness.

But gf is anything but that. Work on your problems first. You have to not feel bad when somebody ask you where your gf is and you will reply that you are single.

Until you learn how to not give a fuck and "love yourself", you will always come as desperate and clingy to any girl you encounter. Also i bet you arent on online dating like badoo, okcupid and similiar.

You have to ask girls on date as easily as breathing. Once you wont give a fuck, all girls will try to rape you. Bitches crave confidence. Confidence and money.

Work on your insecurity. Fake it until you make it.

>>18465740
What if the hunt is fun for him?

People go to bars and clubs looking for a hook up all the time, it is not at all weird. You can only come off as desperate if you make it that way, but there's nothing wrong in going outside looking for attractive people to talk to; you just gotta be calm, empathetic and confident.

>>18465778

>you just gotta be calm, empathetic and confident.

Going out with the main goal of meeting a girl will leave you frustrated pretty soon. Hard to be "calm, empathetic and confident" and frustrated.

>>18465773
that is basically assuming i have an intrinsic knowledge of dating and social relationships which i obviously do not have
>>18465776
loneliness is one of the most powerful human emotions. you cannot "learn" to be happy while lonely because being lonely is depressing for any non-schizoid human being. so you're basically telling me "stop being depressed over being depressed and your depression will magically stop"

>>18465767
The thing about conversations is that you should pursue them because you want to enjoy yourself while talking to another person. Talking to girls is not an interview or a rehearsal; talk to them like you would talk to any other person and try to enjoy the moment.

In order to achieve this you need to strike conversations with anyone you can. A cashier, someone sitting beside you at the bus, etc. Do this to get a feel of how to engage in natural conversations, and then talk to qts.

>>18465789
>loneliness is one of the most powerful human emotions

Are you really lonely or just date-lonely? Do you have friends and family to hang out and share with?

>>18465789
>loneliness
You are either extrovert who needs daily human interactions to survive and therefore have 0 problems with getting gf or you are introvert who can get his daily dose of social interaction with coworkers and shitposting here reccomending condoms to anons.

So i bet it is all in your head. Stop thinking about yourself as loser. Also asking 1 girl per 2 months is terrible rate. You can get drunken silly and get rejected by 10 girls at bar in a single night!

Do you have friends? Coworkers? Are you able to talk about "nothing" with people around you? My favorite questions to break ice are
>are you nervous because of me?
>where is your gf/bf?

Look into this
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation
and please, stop thinking of yourself as inferior being. You cant obtain qtie gf until you gain some confidence.

Seriously man, cheer up. You got whole life before you. With a bit if luck you will find yourself after few years wishing to be single when your gf will make up new bullshit mind game.

CHEER UP! Try to lay down, say that everything will be ok, close your eyes and say that you are nice guy. Placebo is very powerful weapon against low mood.

>>18465817
>You are either extrovert who needs daily human interactions to survive
Not the same guy but
I don't mind going months at a time without talking to anyone, yet I still find myself craving affection and intimacy. It's not sexual either because it doesn't go away when I jack off. I just want someone to hug but I don't care about the rest.

>>18465823
>yet I still find myself craving affection and intimacy.

Do you find yourself craving affection and intimacy even when you regularly hang out with people? Do the stretches of time alone make it worse?

>>18465823
>not talking to living human being FOR MONTHS
>wondering why you crave human touch and warm embrace
Really dude? Maybe install badoo / meetme instead of going months without social contact and the cravings wont be so strong.

We are made to socialize to prevent us die alone in a woods. Our brains are made to form groups and fuck each other. I bet you havent even tried to find gf yet.

>>18465828
I hardly ever hang out with people but yes, I still do. It's not the same thing.
>Do the stretches of time alone make it worse
Not really. Sometimes I'll be participating in some social activity and still feel tfw no gf

>>18465833
But whenever I hang out with friends and do stuff I get tired quickly and want to go home.

>>18465794
the thing is that i am awful at conversations, i just cannot find common ground with people to talk about. when i talk it's usually about very clearly defined subjects and i try to be as short and to the point as possible. i do not understand the conversation as something for its own sake but just a vehicle to communicate something.

>>18465802
i have a few friends which eh, i see like once a week. not much contact with family either. that being said date loneliness is a real thing as well and having no partner does weigh on you.

>>18465817
i am an introvert that secretly craves social interaction yet doesn't understand how to get it. and honestly i've realized this so late in my life (i'm 24 again) that learning to do something that is supposed to be natural feels ridiculously overwhelming. i honestly believe i've passed some kind of "critical period" for learning to socialize and form deeper bonds with people and that no matter how hard i try i'm always going to be really stunted in that regard.

as for the last part at the very least i can safely say i am socially flawed, so yes in a way i am inferior

>>18465843
>having no partner does weigh on you.

That's not what you said. You said we are social animals. And yet you don't seem to work too hard on keeping your social circle. Do you really think having a girl every day at your home is gonna be more pleasant just because you get to fuck?

Sex is just another activity. She will still be a person and eventually become as boring as your friends.

>you cannot "learn" to be happy while lonely because being lonely is depressing for any non-schizoid human being

Yes, you can. You can be happy and not have a girl. If you are not happy right now a girl won't solve that. You need to like yourself and you life, too. (I'm assuming the lonely in the quote is date-lonely).

>>18465711
Hugs are kinda like handshakes. You don't wanna hunch over and barely touch her as if she were a leper, but you also don't wanna squeeze the life out of her.
Be casual if you're not at bf/gf status yet, hug her the same way you'd hug your mother or a friend.


Unless you're just looking to pump and dump, in which case yes you want to create as much sexual energy and tension as possible. Still don't squeeze the life out of her, but you'll want to pull her in super close, arms low on her waist, pulling her pelvis into yours, essentially.
Only if she's reciprocating the "lets fuck" vibe of course.

>>18465840
>want to go home
That is a sign you arent drunken enough. Try to force yourself stay as long as the "leader". Also if some of your friends is normie, just ask him if he cant set you up with some girl. Piss easy to do for normies. Just tell him to never tell you if he slept with her or not.

>>18465843
>awful
It is easy. Do you know how you can spot introvert on phone? You ask him yes/no question. If he just tells you yes/no, then he is probably introvert.

Practice makes perfect. Take the last sentence from convo, repeat it in your head, react on it AND add new question to the end. Play it like a game. The goal is to never shutup. Once your opponent is left speechless, you have won.

>what is your name
>My name is anon. Why have you asked?
See that added question? You can talk about literally anything. Like on 4chan. Comvine it with staring into her eyes and awkward smile and you will obtain new gf in no time.

SMILE and ASK QUESTIONS faggot. The last questions on yout date should be
>can i walk you home?
>aww, i am that bad? What if you get robbed on your way home? I am goot at getting stabbed.

Stop hating yourself and practice talking to people
>try your boss at work
Go on lunch with him. In my company all bosses have lunch alone, because the subordinates kinda hate them.

Talk to people faggot. Drag the conversation as long as you can. If you use short reply like
>yes
I will find you and slap you on the spot. Be like me anon. The anon who just cant shut up.

Can women get desire spontaneously. Here is something I've been taught in my culture (third world):

Men's desire is spontaneous while a women needs emotional attachment for her desire to kickstart.

Is this true? or can women be spontaneous too? Also, I don't think I can bang someone without getting attached to them first, so, I was thinking maybe I am not normal?

Male btw.

>>18465859
then I don't even understand myself, why the fuck do I crave social contact when I actually don't want it?

>>18465877
this honestly seems like the kind of thing only a person with natural charm can do. i think if i even bothered to try to suddenly learn to do something most people do instinctually now at 24 years old, i should start in a much more staggered way

This is more of a vent + general question rather than a question for the opposite gender, but-

I don't know what my problem with most women I date is exactly, but I tend not to like talking to them. Like, I'm currently dating a girl that's young and thin and nice/kind enough to me and all, but I'm never excited to interact with her much. In particular I find her somewhat boring and uninspiring.

This is not to say that I don't like any women. I have two female friends who are fantastic people to talk to and spend time with, but for one reason or another it's not worked out.

(One is very Christian while I'm basically atheist, and this is a problem for her; I also don't find her that much attractive, but man we are passionate for our shared hobby. The other is asexual and says she won't have sex with anybody, "not even as a favour", and claims to be a virgin with no boyfriend history as she doesn't inflict herself onto others, but man she's great to discuss philosophy with...)

I feel that finding interesting guys as friends is so much easier than finding the same in girls. Am I alone here thinking this? If you agree, how do you cope?

>>18465921
>inb4 pretentious intellectual

By the way, in this post I'm not saying I'm better or more interesting than most people. Different people will find different people interesting. I for one don't give a crap about math or physics or carpentry or painting or the lives of celebrities and tons of other topics, and that's fine.

How can I tell if a guy is flirting because he likes me or because he's bored at his work?

>>18465938
ask "do you wanna fuck?"

if he says yes, he likes you.

>>18465938
Ask him out on a date.

Don't listen to this. >>18465942

>>18465938

Flirt with him outside of work.

If he reciprocates, you can eliminate this option;
>because he's bored at his work?
Because you won't be at work.

Which only leaves;
> he likes me.

Unless you can come up with other excuses not to bust a move.

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>>18465892
Arent you that same india anon from arranged marriage thread?

Girls are like boys. Humans. Also girls gets horny in cycles. And when they see boy they love.

>not normal
It is like 50:50. Half boys are scared of relationships and pretend obly to get the pussy and the other half wants somebody to cuddle. The sex is just a bonus. Stay cool. Remember to dont trust what noobs say to you both online or offline. What matters is what your wife wants. Learn how to talk about anything and hopefully it will work out.

>>18465918
>natural charm
Bullshit. Arts of conversation can be learn. Start with practicing. From today never use short answer. Ask people about their lives. Normies love to babble nonstop about theit lives/family/work/troubles.

Stop being sorry and chat some ladies on badoo. Ask them on date before 1st convo ends. Never let them stop responding. If they give you 1 word responce, ask them why cant they type more.

Do an achievement and ask 10 girls out in span of 24 hours. Good luck!
>and buy condoms

Or really, find extrovert at your work / friend group and ask him to practice talking and set you up with awkward girl.

>>18465918
>why the fuck do I crave social contact when I actually don't want it?

You don't want a girl for the social interaction. You seem to want her for validation. You say, and I quote:

>>you cannot "learn" to be happy while lonely

So you expect that getting a girl will finally allow you to be happy. You are in love with the idea of a girlfriend because you think it will fix you.

>>18465976
>Arent you that same india anon from arranged marriage thread?

How tf did you recognize me?

>>18465892
Assuming that "desire" is meaning "wanna fuck" in this sense,
of course, what you're talking about is probably a cultural difference.

Like, some chicks in america desire a quick random fuck just like guys do too.
(I won't say just as much as dudes, just because biologically speaking the average woman has a lower libido than the average man, but close to it) There are also guys who don't wanna just stick their dick in any vagoo and want an emotional connection to it first.

Any culture that doesn't place such harsh restrictions on sex will have this variation of people.
(And hell, I'm 100% positive even the most strict Muslim women get horny too and would love to jump the nearest attractive guy's bones, they just wouldn't dare say anything about it because it's culturally unacceptable to talk like that.)

girls

is a penis always better than a dildo?

>>18465990
> most strict Muslim women get horny too

How'd you know I came from a muslim culture.

>>18465975
Thanks for this.

>>18465992
For me personally, probably but only because of the fact there's a living human being attached to it who can be doing other things to me while fucking me, like grabbing my tits/ass, talking dirty, and just plain being a warm breathing thing.

The physical feeling/pleasure stemmed from it? About the same to me. I'm not huge on penetration to begin with, so maybe my opinion is invalid since I don't particularly enjoy it in the first place, but the only real difference I notice in sensation is the temperature. Cold plastic vs warm dick.

Now, a penis is never better than a vibrator to the clit. Well, if I'm defining "better" as I just wanna get off fast and this is purely mechanical kind of thing.

>>18465985
There arent many anon from india who claim such weirds things about girls as you do.

Have you talked to her yet? Does she look cute/sexy/fat? Are you nervous? Dont tell me you will spent 2 whole years posting retarded girl questions on /adv.

Why dont you slip yout phone numbet on piece of paper so you can actually get to know each othet before your parents sell you off? We have 21st century. Talk to her, not us :-)

>>18465992
Dildo cant get you pregnant.

>>18465995
They're about the only ones left that are this backwards and repressive about women and sexuality.

But don't get me wrong, I think america went way overboard about "muh feminizm and sexual liberation" too. We're just on the other end of the radical sexual shit show.

>>18465985
It's like, 2 in the morning in India. Why are you still up?

>>18466010
>Dildo cant get you pregnant.
Ah, of course there's that benefit too lol. Though if you're not completely retarded about it the likelyhood of getting preggo is 1 in a million. I understand completely about even the slightest insignificant chance being too much risk though, lord knows I triple my BC methods and still have an anxiety attack the next day about ruining my life.

>>18466018
Nothing shows the character of girl better than mentioning the pregnancy and her assuming that being pregnant is the worst fate.
>i meant it as positive thing in favor of penis, not negative

Why are girls scared of babies? You are designed to have them and crave them.

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>Girl asks me to hang out
> I say yes
>Says "hang on" before we set up a time
>6 hours later I text "I guess we aren't hanging out
>AHH SHIT I FORGOT TO REPLY

How do I respond to make it sound I'm irritated but not an asshole

>>18466010
>Have you talked to her yet?
My parents haven't selected her yet. It is very likely she will be cute because I am a solid 8/10 (not kidding, according to indian standards) and I have the cash money.

>Dont tell me you will spent 2 whole years posting retarded girl questions
That's the plan

> Talk to her, not us
can't talk to her since I am not allowed to even after with both select each other. If the girl is too conservative she might even reject me for slipping my phone number.

>>18466012
Ohk. Yeah, that makes sense now.

>>18466017
I live in the San fransisco bay area

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>>18466026
Because I'm 21 and have a total of $247.83 in my bank account right now.
I also have a brain that I'm destined to use and know it would be literally life ending to be pregnant right now, because you know, abortion or adoption would be my only responsible options if I actually gave a rats ass about the wellbeing of the child (and/or the taxpayers).

>>18466033

>How do I respond to make it sound I'm irritated but not an asshole

You can't. It was just a mistake, let it go. Any kind of reprimand will make you sound like an asshole.

>>18466026
Why are guys scared of babies? You are designed to put one in a woman and then provide for it.

>>18466033
3 words
>What the fuck?

>>18466033
Is this not the first time she's done this?
If this is the first time, as said before, it was a mistake, chill out shit happens.

If not, you might just say "Look I'm not very mad, but this has happened a few times now. I really do just want to know if you really are interested in hanging out with me."

>>18465158
Two questions for the women here: I see a lot of dating advice that feels like DDR moves. Do this now, play hard to get, wait before doing this, don't forget x, talk this way, touch her back, all this stuff.

It can't really be that hard right? Intuition to me would be if someone wants to talk to you more - they'll just talk to you more. I guess shy people would be a special case there.

And at the risk of running contrary to what I asked above - when is it ok to touch a girls back? Like do I always just have to try and hope she doesn't get mad? Is it just something women deal with? Physical touch on the whole just confuses me.

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>>18466038
>>18466041
>>18466046
I was first thinking "Okay, cool" as a shady response but I'll just let it go.
I can't believe 4chan is making me calmer and smarter in this situation.

>>18466034
>that is the plan
Dude, girls are humans as you are. All you have to do is to hope she isnt crazy. Everything else can be solved by conversation. If you fear about the sex thing, buy magic wand and make her cum before insert. Done. She wont be able to talk straight. The cuddling is super important.

As far as the
>tradition
goes I highly doubt that any girl wouldnt be CURIOUS AS FUCK about dude who is supposted to marry her. Seriously stop worrying. You will be fine.

>>18466036
Another reason to not date teen girls. Broke :-D

>>18466039
I am not. Now i ask them how many babies they want and they are all like
>dude are you crazy?

>>18466055
>intuition
That works for extroverted normies. Since you are here, chance of you being one is small.

Dont be yourself and listen to advices.
>when to touch back
Start with handholding and kissing first. Touching their back when nobody is drunken is too close to cuddling and you cuddle before sex on "netflix and chill".

>>18466060
It's a miracle. Praise be to Moot.

>>18466074
>21
>teen
>???
I guess thanks, I thought my chance to get into teen porn was lost 2 years ago.

Anyway, yeah college is a bitch on the finances. But hey, put in my dues now and I'll be able to actually make a liveable wage later in life. Just the game you gotta play.

>>18466074
>If you fear about the sex thing, buy magic wand
How do I do this discreetly when the time comes?

>The cuddling is super important
How do I cuddle. Are there any good videos online

>>18466084
>21
>still in school
>thinks she is an adult now
The sole fact you can finally buy beer legaly in prudish usa states doesnt mean anything. You are as teen as it gets.

I just hope you study something better than humanities. What are you going to be when you are done?
>and do you have 1 bf or 9+ fuck buddies?

>>18466093
>discreetly
You will be married man at that time dude. Once you are married there is NOTHING you can/should be ashamed of. Try ebay or amazon.

>cuddle
You cuddle by instinct. Hugging is good start. The rest should come on its own. Like touching her various body parts and so on. My favourite part is when our faces meet and i bump my nose into hers while smiling like retard. Works every time.

>>18466055
Touching her back as in running your fingers up and down on it? That's pretty much some sort of cuddling, you don't want to do it too early on.

>Physical touch on the whole just confuses me.
You might be surprised by the positive reactions you might sometimes get to all this "kino" stuff though.

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>>18466110
Oh I'm not claiming to be a fully fledged adult, hell I don't even pay my own car insurance, but the definition of teen just simply literally doesn't apply. Since there is no "teen" affixed to my age. I'm an adolescent, technically.

I'm going into education, which is not a high paying career yes, but it's a stable career as there will always be teaching jobs available even in the harshest of economies, and it allows for a significant amount of free time for my personal development and hobbies. All while paying just enough to live rather comfortably as a single adult. For what my goals are in life and what I define as a successful and well lived life, it was a good career choice for me even if I'm never gonna afford a yacht or anything.

>and do you have 1 bf or 9+ fuck buddies?
Unfortunately I have neither, thats something only hot girls can pull off.
I am getting closer to this 4.5-5/10 guy who seems pretty nice and hasn't pressured me to fuck him yet though. Dating is kind of pointless at this stage though since he'll graduate this year and go god knows where and I'll be moving across the country myself.

>>18466131
>only hot girls can put off
Yeah, being closed in one building full of horny teen girls and boys and only hot girls can extract some D. Nah.

You probably arent slutty enough to try. Which is imho a plus.

Being teacher is nice. Unless you are like my mom who hated kids. The strain on her mentality it left was huge.
>her parents made her to do it

Good luck femanon!

>>18465921
It's possible that your shared interests are more common in men. It's possible that your avenues for finding dates are filled with people who you don't have much in common with. It's also possible that the women in your life are not as willing to open up as friends, because they're worried about leading you on or something.
What you're encountering is incompatibility, and it's exactly why dating is more complicated than just finding someone attractive. It's very common and very frustrating. Keep at it!
I coped by making a game out of dating. It's a great way to practice conversing with uninspiring people. I liked to practice escalating small talk into deeper subjects. I liked to figured out how to read how comfortable people were with where you were taking the conversation.

Just because the person is boring doesn't mean you can't find a way to enjoy yourself.
Keep at it, and eventually you'll find someone you click with.

>>18466144
Yeah idk, I was mostly joking on that because you are right, random casual sex with strangers who give a rats ass about me isn't exactly a priority for me, since my vibrator gives me all I need in the sex department. Though, I do crave human touch from time to time, which is why I'd probably prefer one single fwb, one who actually upholds the friend part in fwb, since it's useless to try for anything serious in your early 20's because we all know it's not gonna last.
But I will say I think dudes are just having more and more standards. They still might trickle down to people like me when the hot ones turn them away, but idk I don't see it much. I never even really get approached by anyone.

>Hate kids
heh, I started in elementary because I was like "Hey I like kids, kids are fun!"
Did my field class, learned very quickly that I like kids, but not 8 hours a day 5 days a week. It got exhausting. Switched to high school, I love it. My students are old enough for me to be real with them and have actual conversations with. Don't have to do that fake "im talking to a little kid" voice that drained me so much.

Guys, what do you think of low-voiced women?

My singing range (discounting falsetto) is E3-E5 or so. E3 is definitely my lowest. Bizarrely, I'm only 5'0".

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Foooooooooooooooooooooolks

How do I get a wife (yes, fucking wife) like this?

>>18466239
I do think I mostly cared about pleasant use of voice, which depends on a lot of factors.

Deeper is fine with me as far as I can tell, but IDK how you would sound from your description.

I wanna be able to get a girlfriend that shares the same interests with me but it seems impossible and it's bumming me out. It's more fun to enjoy things together rather than enjoy them alone and whats the point of having a girlfriend if you can't enjoy things together. It doesn't help that the things I'm into are things like anime, games, and mecha. Should I just give up and just accept the fact that these are things that should only be locked up in the closet and privately enjoyed alone or should I keep searching? It's just been lonely and frustrating for me since I have no one to talk to and vibe with about this stuff in real life.

>>18466265
Join High Society

>>18466265
You can essentially buy one by being rich. IDK if it is 1/3 or 1/5 of women that look good and maybe had beauty surgery to look perfect are available to the wealthy, but its enough of them in the world that you can always buy one if you are rich.

>>18466265
Be a lord or something.

>>18465938
Pls be in Sedagro.

>>18466115
>You might be surprised by the positive reactions you might sometimes get to all this "kino" stuff though.

What do you mean? "Kino"?

Also to you and >>18466074 - I meant touching the back like, hand on the back going into a show or going through a door.

>>18466277
I didn't want to post a clip of me speaking so I thought vocal range may suffice.

I guess my speaking voice is generally around the same pitch as Victoria Legrand's in this interview.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHpJl48ZHDk

I think I have a fuller, less croaky speaking voice/style than her, however. She's a way better singer though lmao.

Tonight is my second date with a guy. Our first date went really well, and he expressed this to me pretty plainly. But before we actually started talking or went out he told me more than once that I "wasn't his type" just in normal conversation. Would it be strange of me to ask him why he asked me out if that's the case? Is the second date too soon for that kind of conversation?

>>18466334
>What do you mean? "Kino"?
Physical contact, in "red pill" jargon. I wrongly assumed you've been reading so-called "red pill" dating advice (and no, I don't really recommend that you read "red pill" stuff--it's not too bad, but it does tend to be outright misogynist, and people also focus too much on either pick-ups at bars and one-night stands, or how to date multiple girls as if it were the only morally correct option (because women are bad and exclusive relationships are worse)).

>>18466110
Someone sounds mad.

Guys and Girls,

Men are more affected visually and for the most part will stay "physically" attracted to the girl even if her personality sucks. What I mean is, men would have no problem being intimate with any woman no matter how bad her personality.

For women, (correct me if I'm wrong) but the emotional connection plays a dominant role in their attraction to a particular man. What I mean is, at first a woman may be attracted to a good looking man, but if he turns out to be lets say a jerk, or lack in confidence, i'm sure you'd agree she won't feel that attraction anymore even though he is physically still looking the same

Is this true? Can somebody give me the reason why this is evolutionarily if it is true? I don't buy it since women are attracted to the dark triad personality traits.

>>18466239
I'm no music major but a long as you don't sound like a dude it's okay

>>18466349
> Is the second date too soon for that kind of conversation?
Nope, not too soon, and I think it deserves being talked about even on just the first date.

I usually talk even about sexual preferences on the first date, heh. Yea, it's early, but I'm really quite serious about a few of them and I can't expect everyone to be able to be okay with them - so the cards really almost need to be on the table early on.

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Girls. I hate my family. Like mom dad and brother.
My chinky father comes off as hostile to my friends.
My white bread mom won't shut up.
My brother is a middle man for the drug cartel with multiple arrests and prison time.
I don't care to meet family members either is this a deal breaker for a serious relationship?

>>18466365
I'd agree that's true, yes.

>Can somebody give me the reason why this is evolutionarily if it is true?
If we really want to get down to basics, I'd guess it's because men just want a fertile woman to plant their seed in, while woman are reliant on the man to provide for the child. A man who's a shithead is not going to be a suitable partner to raise a child with.

>I don't buy it since women are attracted to the dark triad personality traits.
What are you talking about?

>>18466385

Women who are attracted to jerks.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad

>>18466391
>Women who are attracted to jerks.
Says who? /r9k/?

>>18466395
See the love letters people like Ted Bundy and James Holmes got.

>>18466400
Right, and those women are a very small minority and generally considered freaks. There's even a name for them, hybristophiles, because they're that removed from the standard.

>>18466400
So by your own logic, if those women represent all women, then all men are serious criminals and should be put to death. Is that what you're saying?

>>18466405
>>18466406
Are you those women who say they just want an honest, nice and caring guy and always end up with cool jerks who smoke weed?

>>18466343
> I didn't want to post a clip of me speaking so I thought vocal range may suffice.
Would have simplified things to have a good recording - but I can surely comment on comparable materials.

>I guess my speaking voice is generally around the same pitch as Victoria Legrand's in this interview.
How deep her voice is is pleasant enough. But the way she speaks isn't ideal to me.

Scratching / croaking noises at the beginning of every word aren't optimal, and I think I prefer if there is more of a broader range of sounds in each word rather than this more flat pronunciation. Kind-of hard to describe, really, but movie stars, Japanese voice actors and so on can probably give you a hint how many interesting / sexy voices sound like.

> I think I have a fuller, less croaky speaking voice/style than her, however.
I'll guess it's better? But really, hard to tell. Heh.

>>18466412
You haven't answered my question >>18466406

>>18466383
Having serious issues with family like that is a red flag, even if it is justified, but wanting to be detached from your family because they are dangerous people isn't a bad thing (Though, the only real dangerous person I can see is your brother. My mom never shuts the fuck up either but that doesn't make her a bad person, and lord knows my dad does the stereotypical over protective dad thing from time to time, but he's not a bad person.)
Regardless, if you just have a bad relationship with the family, that's one thing. But if you're not interested in ever meeting your girlfriend's family then yes, that's probably gonna be a problem unless you get a girl with an equally fucked up family life.
Because what do you expect her to do? Completely abandon her normal functional loving family just because you can't be assed to interact with them? All for you? I don't think so dude, majority of people are not gonna go for that.

>>18466383
Doesn't sound like you really hate most of them.

Why not just live at arm's length? Like, write them occasionally, meet them maybe once every year and a half, and maybe be there occasionally when they're in an extraordinary bad spot - but keep away from their everyday business.

>>18466412
Not them but I'm a person who values a nice caring guy who also has a life of his own and doesn't treat me like some god like supreme being and grovel at my feet. And I have a dude like that too. So you know.
I find a lot of people who claim "REEEE gurls only like assholes!" categorize "assholes" as anyone who doesn't put pussy on such an extreme pedestal like they do, because they don't see women as trophies and objects, but as normal people not deserving of any more respect or admiration than the other average person.

what fucking stores sell goddamned beach towels. ive checked walmart target and bed bath and beyond.

>>18466430
It felt like most of the major textile stores in towns and cities close to beaches had beach towels when I was in California.

'sides, many large bath towels are fairly comparable.

>>18466437
PS: If you really can't buy a beach towel locally, just order one online? Shit, you can order a beach towel from Germany or Japan if you care. Though of course only the USA or China or such will be actually fairly cheap to order from.

>>18466365
Why are you asking us to explain the evolutionary reasons for something you don't even believe? Why do you want us to defend those stereotypes you mentioned?

>>18466406
I think anon went the wrong way by mentioning hybristophiles, who are the extreme of the phenomenon, but c'mon, we all know that many women don't mind, and actually often fall in love with, men who assert themselves to the point of being harsh and egotistical and even antisocial or violent.

>>18466383
There are pros and cons to hating one's family.

Pros
>You recognize how fucked up it is, and what is fucked up about it
>You may have gone through therapy and thus have a better grasp on dealing with tough situations than the ordinary joe
>You may be passionate about improving who you are in order to avoid being like your family
>You may be open minded to changing your behaviors, as you may have made adjustments to recovering from being raised in that household

Cons
>You may not have a complete understanding on why your family dynamics are fucked
>You might not have yet gone through the processes of acknowledging the effects your upbringing made on your psyche
>You may assume that your family is awful and that it is impossible to ever be like them
>You may be rigid in your behaviors and take criticism as meaning that you're as bad as your family, instead of as an opportunity to grow
>I don't care to meet family members either is this a deal breaker for a serious relationship?
I love my family, even if we're a little broken. It's important to me for my family to meet and like my boyfriend. I have had my judgement clouded in the past, and my family may see a dangerous person where I cannot. My family loves my boyfriend, and it is a great validation to realize that I am making a good decision.
In a long term relationship, I consider my boyfriend a part of my family. I don't expect him to be friends with my family, nor to needlessly hang out with them. I would like it if he was available to see them occasionally. Maybe 2-4 times a year, just to check in.
It's also a comfort to my family. They want to know that I'm not with an asshole. If he can play nice with them for a couple hours a couple times a year, they can feel comforted that I'm not living in abusive hell. They care about my safety, and it's important to me that they don't worry about my safety.

>>18466449
>I think anon went the wrong way by mentioning hybristophiles, who are the extreme of the phenomenon, but c'mon, we all know that many women don't mind, and actually often fall in love with, men who assert themselves to the point of being harsh and egotistical and even antisocial or violent.
Sure, and some men don't mind, and actually often fall in love with, women who are conventionally unattractive. There are always going to be extremes and exceptions, but what he's trying to get at with women regularly being attracted to 'the dark triad' is not true.

>>18466430
I'm shocked that you couldn't find beach towels in either of those locations, particularly in the summer. Did you ask a sales associate?

>>18466453
Right? I'm waiting for the twist to be anon lives in like, Alaska or Canada or something.

>>18466459
>>18466453
actually i didnt check walmart but i hate going there. i did ask the associate at target but they just pointed me to the regular towel sections. bed bath and beyond didnt have any beach towels (i want a cool looking one, not a boring bath towel) and i was even buying towels there. i live in the southwest us.

>>18466442
>>18466437
i dont want to wait for shipping cause im going swimming tomorrow. ill just use my spare bath towels for now

>>18466475
> i dont want to wait for shipping cause im going swimming tomorrow. ill just use my spare bath towels for now
Sure. OTOH just order one now in case you go swimming again next week, really.

>>18466365
In my anecdotal experience as a woman, yes, I have found this is true. Both that I've found conventionally attractive men unattractive after getting to know him, and finding unconventionally attractive men attractive after getting to know him.

I can make some conjecture about the evolutionary psychology to this. For women, it is helpful if not necessary for the man to stick around through the pregnancy. Pregnancy is an incredibly physically taxing process. Can you imagine a pregnant woman living alone in the wild, foraging and hunting and not dying? It'd be much easier for her if she has a man who can stick around with her. That means that she needs to trust him and enjoy spending time with him.
It'd also be helpful for him to be able to raise the kids. I know that in the period where I became sexually attracted to my boyfriend, one of the thoughts I had was, "He would make a great father." I want to raise healthy kids- healthy physically, emotionally, and psychologically. He needs to be someone who will provide that support.

For men, it's less important for the woman to stick around with you after sex. In an evolutionary context, there isn't a lot of drawbacks to a woman leaving him after impregnation, compared to vis versa. What's more important to the male is that the woman is physically viable to become pregnant. She needs to be healthy- free of genetic physical abnormalities, child-birthin hips, prominent secondary sex attributes that indicate sexual maturity, luscious skin and hair and weight distribution to indicate adequate nutrient intake, clean and well groomed to indicate self care and social awareness (a lack of which could be due to mental illness).
It's more important that the child is able to survive the pregnancy.

Obviously there are evolutionary advantages for a woman to choose for physical health, and evolutionary advantages for a man to choose for mental and environmental health. But this is my speculation on the skewed balance.

>>18466490
Oh, and to touch on the 'dark triad' thing-
Think of it like an aggressive dog. When an aggressive dog is barking at you, it's pretty scary. But when that aggressive dog is barking at something else in a desire to protect you, that feels pretty safe. A pregnant woman is very vulnerable, and in a dog-eat-dog world, a dog eater on your side is a big advantage.

>>18466490

Could it be because men are not the selectors while the women are? Men have to go for looks since that is the only thing that is apparent when they have to approach. But women can sit back and select and hence seem more picky on things like personality etc.

>>18466452
The idea that the vast majority if not all women are attracted to the dark triad is a meme in some "Red Pill" circles, particularly pushed by the Chateau blog. While, speaking mostly from my experience, I disagree it's true of all women, man I'm not gonna deny that I've been surprised by how often women are tolerant of antisocial or violent men.

It does touch a nerve sometimes to see men who are outright violent to others, including their wife or girlfriend (as in, hitting them and threatening them all the time), have a wife or girlfriend that won't leave them, while genuinely nice guys often have problems finding a girl at all, because girls consider them "weak" or even "fake".

I mean, I'm from El Salvador, and it's disgusting to see how mareros ("gangsters", or more accurately, "poor semi-organized mafiosi"--in El Salvador the gangs consist of the poor extorting and killing the poor) have no problems getting poor young women to adore them. "It's crazy how crazy girls nowadays are for mareros", my grandma's maid told me. Of course, this is not true of all women at all, poor/low-class or not, but if you ("you" in general) love a man who makes a living extorting honest working poor people who can barely afford living and killing, I have no words.

>>18466513
I'm sure that plays a role. But I could also say that the commitment of pregnancy and fatherhood is exactly why women are the selectors.

>>18466519
>I mean, I'm from El Salvador, and it's disgusting to see how mareros ("gangsters", or more accurately, "poor semi-organized mafiosi"--in El Salvador the gangs consist of the poor extorting and killing the poor) have no problems getting poor young women to adore them. "It's crazy how crazy girls nowadays are for mareros", my grandma's maid told me. Of course, this is not true of all women at all, poor/low-class or not, but if you ("you" in general) love a man who makes a living extorting honest working poor people who can barely afford living and killing, I have no words.
I would imagine this has a lot to do with the perception that someone who has money is going to be able to provide a better life for a girl than someone who doesn't. It's not where the money comes from that's the attracting factor, it's the money itself. To a woman who doesn't have a lot of money, it's going to be a big factor in choosing a man.

>>18466522
Women who are casually dating (90% of uni and college women) before they have intention to give birth and start a family seem to pick based on how men pick women. This has been well researched and documented.

>>18466522
I'd say thats the exact reason women ARENT the selectors.
We have a timeline. Our eggs go bad starting at 30, so we need to spit some kids out fast or risk retard kids.
You don't have a set amount of sperm in your balls, you can keep spitting out kids MUCH longer than women can. Therefore women have to settle eventually or else their rotten eggs will never become rotten kids. Men just for whatever reason don't take advantage of this fact. You can literally wait for a perfect 10/10 if you wanted to, because even if that 10/10 rejects you at first, if she doesn't find someone before she gets too old, she'll settle for whatever decent dude will put a babby in her. She has to, or forfeit mommyhood.

>>18466538
Why can't women get the genes of the 10/10 while the 5-6/10's raise the kids. It would be beneficial for everyone involved but why is not socially acceptable.

Btw I am a male and I think like this . Lol

>>18466546
Because men have always had an aversion to raising someone else's bastard lol. It's not beneficial to the 5/10 because he has to put in all the work without getting to procreate himself. How is that not a rotten deal to him?

>>18466524
Thanks for articulating what I wanted to respond. I agree fully. We can't pretend that money doesn't play a role in how comfortable a life will be.

>>18466527
>pick based on how men pick women.
Meaning on a more visual physical-health basis rather than on what he can provide as a father? That would certainly make sense if there was no intention of making him a father. Perhaps it's because an in-shape man is going to be a better lay than someone who is physically weak?
I'd wonder about the comparisons of short term versus long term relationships. I'd imagine that social compatibility would play a bigger role in a couple that planned to be together for a while, regardless of their family-raising plans. I suppose that plays into how you're defining "casual dating". Where do we draw the line between one night stands, short-term fuck buddies, casual long-term relationship, and serious long-term relationships?

I can't really give you an anecdotal perspective for this, since I've only ever been interested in LTRs

>>18466499
>Think of it like an aggressive dog. When an aggressive dog is barking at you, it's pretty scary. But when that aggressive dog is barking at something else in a desire to protect you, that feels pretty safe. A pregnant woman is very vulnerable, and in a dog-eat-dog world, a dog eater on your side is a big advantage.
>>18466524
>I would imagine this has a lot to do with the perception that someone who has money is going to be able to provide a better life for a girl than someone who doesn't. It's not where the money comes from that's the attracting factor, it's the money itself. To a woman who doesn't have a lot of money, it's going to be a big factor in choosing a man.
It's sad, even depressing, to see women throwing morals "to the dogs", in shit, for the sake of hoping to live better though. (Same goes for the mareros themselves, of course, and how they seek status and respect through crime, affecting us all for the worst. My uncle had to close his small business because the mareros would take all the profits through extortion...)

Nicaragua, a nearby country, is actually poorer than El Salvador (we even get immigrants from Nicaragua, because they make more money here), yet they don't have any marero problems. We could be poor as we are anyway, but content and in a relatively safe environment. Salvadoran culture is a deeply sick culture.

Is it really that unattractive to apology to a girl?

I went a bit over the line when flirting, and she looked hurt. i wasn't sure if it was just a way to flirt back? Either way I feel like shit, and I'd rather have an awkward, unnecessary apology than the potential of having upset her.

I'm not going to grovel at her feet or anything, just offer a 'sorry for that thing I said'

>>18466568
It's only unattractive to excessively apologize (like apologize for every single thing you do without even knowing you did anything wrong, because it shows your lack of confidence), but if you really think you did something wrong, this goes for anyone a girl, boy, your mom, grandpa, whatever, apologize.

You might ask before just outwardly apologizing though, "By the way, did I go too far last time, I'm just wondering because you kinda pulled back"
If she says no, drop it. Yes, apologize.

>>18466538
Wouldn't that still put the power in the hands of the young women? Because they are at the peak age for fertility, men want her to bear their children. Yes, their power definitely fades once the women are past prime reproductive age, so the power dynamic flips at that time. But that means that young women are even more desirable, because the older women aren't much of a competitive threat.
The sweet zone for manipulative men would be at the tail end of a woman's prime- the time where she's still desirable as a mate, but with enough of the clock ticking that she may be pressured to settle.

>>18466558
>Meaning on a more visual physical-health basis rather than on what he can provide as a father?

Exactly. An in-shape man is going to be a better lay. This is what the researchers concluded and what the women said themselves. Also, it does make perfect sense

>>18466581
The power is on the top 10/10 women. 10/10 guys will fight for her to bear their spawn.
There is no need for any dude to settle for anything lesser than him though. There will be no 8's with 4-5's. If an 8 is only getting 4-5's attention, he just has to wait. Once they all age, he can get the desperate 10's that are left behind.

So the fact is, men can and should always be dating on their level minimum, but can always date above them with patience.
Women though, can NEVER date above them if all men were smart. The 5's and unders would never reproduce, because a dude on her level can just wait for a desperate 7-10 if he likes. She does not get the same luxury, men have the gift of time that women do not get.

>>18465158
is being underweight a huge turn off for females just as overweight does?

>>18465158
I thought a girl liked me, we'd been out as a group a few a times and she was giving me signs. The next day I asked if I could see her alone some time and she said she'd be keen to grab a bite before 'sending me off into the world of dating' (this is a reference to taking me on a practice date, something we discussed when we were fucked up).

She hasn't been talkative since. I think I'm seeing her in a group again today. How do I make a move or figure out if she's into me? I'm pretty into her but I'm not sure if I've made that clear enough.

>>18466490
How can it be evolutionary though? The peacock selects peahen based on its visual appearance, not the other eay around. Lots of birds select the male birds based on how good they look or how bright their feathers are. How come the roles are reversed for humans.

>>18466588
>If an 8 is only getting 4-5's attention, he just has to wait. Once they all age, he can get the desperate 10's that are left behind.
"Once they all age", those desperate women are not 10 anymore though. If an 8 is only 4-5's attention, there's something wrong in his approach and he should seek to correct it. Not just wait.

>>18466602
How long is a peahen's spawn weak and dependent though?

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>>18466596
I personally really like skinny twiggy boys, but I know I'm not the majority. I also am anorexic so my views are probably fucked up anyway

But I think most people are willing to overlook both slightly over and underweight people. If it's just a little bit, and you're otherwise healthy, so long as you are a good stand up guy I'm sure normal girls will overlook it.

>>18466588

Do you livr under a rock? A man who is an 8 is consistently swarmed by females. Goto any college campus and you'll see.

>>18466588
Though you could argue that that impatience is exactly what gives fertile women the advantage. Why risk waiting for the ideal you might not find, if you have the just-passable, but available, waiting and willing?
There also holds the risk that the ideal older women are available due to unfortunate failings- mental illness, break-ups, single motherhood.

Since we're playing evolutionary psychology, one also has to consider the past of choices. Nowadays with our large cities and the internet, there's a wide range of possible suitors. But maybe our slow-on-the-uptake brains haven't really got that memo, and still worry about finding someone else suitable. How many times a day do we get someone here in /adv/ who moan about how they'll never find someone else?

>>18466617
Males with more exaggerated secondary sexual characteristics, such as bigger, brighter peacock trains, tend to have better genes in the peahen's eyes.

From the wiki

>>18466614
Nah, like you said there's a sweet spot where they're still perfectly attractive, but their eggs are old enough.
Most women don't even start looking old (if they take care of themselves) until their late 30's.

Women are like cars, a 2016 car is still basically a new car, but it's going to be significantly cheaper than the 2017 model. A woman in her late 20's is still just as attractive, but her eggs are officially starting to rot and she needs to make a move within the next couple years. Especially since you still want to give yourself enough time to date to ensure he's not going to murder you and your children or something before you marry him and take his seed.
>>18466622
Exactly, because he gets to pick the cream of the crop. You see it every now and then with the low self esteem hotties though, they're perfectly attractive enough but settle for garbage for whatever reason. That should never happen. There should never be a hot guy with an ugly girl.

>>18466602
I'd be easier to compare the sexual selection and sexual dimorphism of other mammals rather than the aves. As this anon >>18466617 mentioned, the parental roles in birds are considerably different than in hominids. As this anon >>18466632 mentioned, birds are more likely to be looking for physical health in their mates, rather than what the father can provide in the upbringing.

Girls.

I'm in a situation were I am getting really close to girlfriending my crush!!!
>Life is awesome

Allthough I need a second opinion about something:
So Ive known her for about 3 months, I got intrested in her very early after meeting her and i've been making good but slow progress over these 3 months to get were we are...
We are at the point were I feel making a move will work!
We had 2 great "move-worthy" dates last week but I decided to wait, not because of chickenry mind you.
>she's going on a 6 week vacation with her family today.
And so I decided that I'll do the move when she comes back..
But now I'm like: was that a good idea? What if she looses intrest while away!?!?

But she did send me a very cute text after the last "date" more or less professions her love for me (without giving anything away ofc)

But like: "I'm really gonna miss you Anon, you are the greatest person I know and I always look forward to seeing you when we have plans, you make me happy <3 Thank you so much for being there for me!"

Now opinions please!

>>18466623
Thats what I was talking about though of men not taking advantage. They let those stupid thoughts of "What if I let this ugly 6/10 pass me by and I never get my 10?"
You will always get that 10, or at least better than that fucking fat ugly cow of a woman you settle for out of fear. At at worst, so you let this pig ugly 6 pass you by, if your 10 never does come, you can still always get a pig ugly 6, because there will be an abundance of them since every other guy would theoretically take the "gamble" and those pig 6's will never ever ever get a mate otherwise. You lose literally nothing. You get cream of the dumpster crop at worst that you were picking from anyway.

We all know how E dating goes. You cannot form a suitable relationship with someone you met online, because 99% of them will never actually make the effort to be together irl, and therefore never mate.

The reason we get dudes whining on here about not finding anyone is again, because they haven't realized they have the power if they can just wait. They're impatient though.

Women complaining about never finding a mate because no matter how many surgeries they get, they will never be an acceptable rank and always be an ugly unloveable sack of shit, that might be more valid. Though what can they do, they lost the game of life at birth. They were born ugly and therefore no man will ever love them.

>>18466655
No man wants someone who has ridden the CC.

>>18466633
I still disagree with your "just wait" advice. This is terrible consolation, you should instigate self-improvement and a reanalysis of their approach with women instead. There's explanations to why so many men in their 20s can't get a date at all, but no reason for why it should be so.

>You see it every now and then with the low self esteem hotties though, they're perfectly attractive enough but settle for garbage for whatever reason. That should never happen. There should never be a hot guy with an ugly girl.
I don't know if you're a guy or girl, but surely there's other variables that might make a girl attractive. No need to call them garbage.

>>18466646
You are pretty much in the bag.
Talk to her during her trip. Ask her how it is.
Then, when she gets back, go on a date and make a move.

>>18466519
>It does touch a nerve sometimes to see men who are outright violent to others, including their wife or girlfriend (as in, hitting them and threatening them all the time), have a wife or girlfriend that won't leave them, while genuinely nice guys often have problems finding a girl at all, because girls consider them "weak" or even "fake".

There's a few reasons I see this happening. They aren't the only reasons but I see them often enough to point them out:

1.) Daddy issues, or general emotional issues, draw women to deadbeats and scum. Something about how they're raised emotionally effects what they're attracted to.

2.) The women are not that nice themselves. Contrary to popular belief not all women are "pure" and not all women are going to relate to or want a guy who's nice. I know women who are kinda bitchy and selfish, so it doesn't surprise me when they end up with a guy who's a dick.

3.) Women are encouraged to be passive, partly by biology and partly by society. And they will screen the guy with the best game. The guy with the best game is the best at "push pull" and stirring emotions. The good guy, the truly good guy, will probably not do this, and if he's not as confident he's basically SOL. I think some women like confident men because they themselves are insecure, and it's re-assuring when someone shows you true desire.

Femanons, I have a female friend and I just jerked off to her pictures. They weren't even lewd pictures or bikini pictures or sexually suggestive at all. Basically pictures of her face. How would it make you feel if you knew a male friend of yours did this? Would your reaction depend on how attracted you were to him?

>>18466661
Well, if you keep it in your pants and don't fuck anyone but the best of the best, then there will be no CC. Those 10/10's on board will be scrambling to get just one dick in them before their eggs rot if you just wait them out. Balls in your court dude. You can get both hot and Jesus approved pure as snow if you all would work together

I don't get the Dark Triad thing mentioned earlier. It seems kind of impossible to pretend you're some Christian Grey unless you know, you're actually out there dealing drugs and shit.

>>18466681
Looks are the most important thing in life anon. We all know it. The only reason you ever interact with anyone is based on how good looking they are. You seek people out based on looks, and then pick the ones with the better personalities, but in the end, if you're ugly you don't even make the initial cut. Nobody cares if you have a great personality if you look like a bloated carcass on the side of the road.
If you're ugly, youre garbage. Useless to the genepool, undeserving of love and companionship. We're looking to pass on only the best of the best into the human race, ugly people gotta go.

This is still a hypothetical situation, because not all men are on board and realize their power. They still think they're not the choosers, which is what the ugly pig women want you to think so they have a chance. If all men would not settle for less, then they can have the hot women and date all they want. Because the hot women need to get their eggs out eventually and nobody else is biting.

>>18466618
im around 106lb and my wrist(4.5") is so thin that i feel bad looking into mirrors and staring at them. my diet is pretty healthy though. eat maybe even more than average...

>>18466780
If you are unhappy with your weight, change it. It's easier when you are small trying to gain weight than the opposite. 106 can be healthy depending on height, what is your height

I fucking hate all of you filthy normalfags. Get the fuck out of my 4chan.

>>18466780
I am so envious. I've been trying to drop below 100, but I keep getting stuck places. I wish I could drop weight easily.

But I know one man's gift is another's curse. I'd trade places with you if I could, I ate a greenbean the other day and I swear went up 0.4 lbs.

>>18466689
That's the plan right now...
I'm just paranoid that maybe she was like "Ok, Deadline for this is when I go"
Because it defenitely felt like she was pushing for it the last 2 dates.
>Go for the kiss moments happened more then once:
And I'm like: Don't want to make the move and then she leaves for 6 weeks.. I won't be able to focus on anything else!
Also as a gentleman, if I've read all the signals all wrong and she's just not intrested, I feel confident that such is not the case but still if: It'd be awkward for her the entire trip... so I'd rather have her enjoy the vacation and then come back to me... possibly with a great result:
>Movie style "I missed you so much>running towards eachother and jumping into an emrace of epic proportions" haha

>>18466788
im 5ft5 I've never got serious in gaining weight. will do now

>>18466793
when i need to sneak through crowds of people, then ill feel pround of my skinny body. that's what my cousins and sister always tell me, they would gladly give me some of their fat.

Girls, do you think there's something weird about a man teaching small children for his job? I teach children and teenagers, should I just tell women about the teenagers when they ask me what I do?

Do atheist girls say "oh my god" during sex? If not, what do they/you say instead?

>>18466814
My dream is to be so skinny that even a skinny dude could toss me around the bedroom and fuck me like an animal. That I don't have to seek out ugly buff dudes because they're the only ones that can lift me like I want.

I feel you on the crowds thing though, being short I got some of that privilege. Managed to make my way to the front at a concert once crawling between legs. Nobody even noticed.

>>18466824
I honestly don't know which is worse, anon.

By the way do you have any *cough cough* issues with the teenagers? I originally aspired to be a K-12 teacher, but when working as a tutor while I was in college I was freaked out by how interested in me the girls sometimes were, and how forward they'd be.

I started to imagine that one day one of them would eventually falsely accuse me of being interested in her and touching her inappropriately or something like that, and my career would go to the dogs. I got the fuck out of that career path as soon as I could.

>>18466829
lol oh my god has been so detached from biblical meaning by this point I think it's irrelevant.
Same thing with god damn and jesus christ. It has no secular meaning, its just an expression of shock or awe.

Kind of like when we say "hang up the phone" are you actually envisioning an old fashioned phone that you had to hang up on the wall? No, you're pushing a touch screen button on your smart phone to end the call. But we still say "hang up" because that's just what you say

>>18466847
You have to maintain a professional distance with students, when they flirt or just get too friendly with me I either ignore them or give them a disapproving look, they take the hint pretty quickly.

I also avoid being alone with female students for more than a few minutes, the door is always left open and if there aren't other staff or students around I make up a reason to leave unless they need to talk about schoolwork.

>>18466824
nah, and honestly if anyone does I think they're the weird ones. Why is it that men and children should never have any interaction, why do you think of every man as a child molester? Do you not think it's possible for men to be good fathers with good relationships with their own children or do they have to be the stoic 50's dad smoking a pipe and having next to nothing to do with his kids?
Thats what I ask those kinds of people.

Anyway, I'd say working with kids works in your favor for most sane women. Shows you're good with kids, ergo good father material. Which for a potential long term relationship, should she want kids, would be a huge plus.

Hell, I don't even want kids and even I will still give points to "father material" I went on a date with a dude once who was a dick to some little kids and it totally turned me off. I wanted to bail right then and there it was so awkward.

>>18466868
Well, legally you have to keep the door open. At least where I teach, can't be in a closed room alone with a student period.

Weird either of you would experience this though. I'm still in college, but I started doing my student teaching and I sub sometimes, it's a little awkward because I'm literally only 3 years older than my senior students, and none of those boys ever make any sort of pass on me. I'm shocked the girls have more balls lol.

>>18466886
>I'm shocked the girls have more balls lol.
Out of the girl who wrote me a love letter, the girl who one time rubbed her tits against me, and the girl who told me "I could do anything for you~" with a smile, all of them mostly out of the blue, I don't know which one had bigger ovaries.

When I said I freaked out in >>18466847 I did mean I literally freaked out.

Girls of /adv/, is your bf a Chad Thundercock?

>>18466897
Yeah, I understand your concern because unfortunately with our social standings, you are still far more likely to get fucked over things like that than me. I could probably fuck one of my students and still not end up in jail, because you know, it doesn't count when it's a female teacher. Women can't rape.
>Thx feminism.

Totally get your concern. If I were a male teacher I'd probably document everything in my life lol. Ensure there are absolutely no misunderstandings anywhere.

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>>18466899
Nah, he's pretty fat and has an incredibly small penis.
I like him anyway though, he's an asshole the exact same way I'm an asshole and he likes my memes.

>>18466886
>Legally you have to keep the door open

I don't live in the US, I've never been told that but I do it for good measure anyway

>Suprised the girls have more balls

Because when girls do it it's because they're confused/ have problems at home/ don't understand their hormones or whatever but when boys do it it's because they're sexual predators, duh.

That said the one time I've been explicitly hit on by a student I reported it to her form tutor and he told me her dad bailed on the family a few years back and her mum was terminally ill with cancer and I wasn't the only teacher she'd said inappropriate things to. She ended up having a baby at the age of 16, I feel bad for her.

Should I go for a one night stand even though I dont have much experience with sex? My ex couldnt really handle penetration so I dont have a lot of practice.

I am very confident in eating her out though...

>>18466899
I'm single now but my ex bf was really short and a little bit chubby. And a nerdy introvert. After we broke up he started lifting and now he's ripped. Yes I'm mad. He's still far from a Chad though.

So, theres a girl I dated for 2 years and broke up with last year. She keeps on trying to hang out with me and fucking me but I want to end it and without hurting her. I've tried being a total asshole to her and ignoring her but she keeps trying to get with me. What should I do?

>>18466947
Ah I see. US thing then.
Yeah though, it is just a smart thing in general, don't wanna leave any room for misinterpretation.

Ah, sucks to hear about that poor girl. Reminds me of an old friend of mine, I still feel bad sometimes about dropping her but at the end of the day I had to in order to save my own skin. Her mom died of cancer our senior year. She took it very poorly, turned to hard drugs to cope. I felt bad because we had been friends for so long, and this was when she probably needed me most, but I just couldn't be around her because I could not be around the drugs and the dangerous people she was getting them from.
Thankfully she bounced out of it after graduation. I'm still friends with her on facebook, she's doing very well for herself now. Glad she never got caught with the drugs, would have really fucked her for life when she was just a grieving teenager doing something incredibly stupid.

>>18466961
Do you want to have that kind of no strings attached sex? Or do you prefer to only fuck girls you're dating/emotionally attached to.
If you're totally fine with the nature of that sex, go for it.
If you're just looking for some practice to use on a girl you really like, because you really only want to bang girls you like, then don't.

>>18466974
>tried being an asshole
>don't wanna hurt her tho
good lord. You try just being honest? Just say hey, you're a good person and you're special to me, but I don't think we could continue this type of relationship. I think it's time we move on for real.

If she's doing this because she still loves you and is trying to swing you back her direction out of desperation, it's gonna sting no matter what. Because she hasn't fully digested the break up. She needs to move on though

>>18466981
I dont have any girl I like atm so it's a good occasion. Plus she's from the US ( I'm Canadian) and leaving on friday so no attachment possible.

Why do so many couples aged 25-30 these days have a dog or cat and no children?

>>18467026
Because pets are cheaper than kids and people these days don't tend to make enough to be able to afford a kid at that age with the cost of living.

>>18465286
Not for me as long as you can do it without flipping out. Shit i like intelligent conversations, but i've never talked politics with a woman that i can remember. My liberal dude friends usually end up getting emotional and calling me retarded instead of reasonable arguing.

>>18467026
Well-educated, middle-class white people have a tendency not to have kids until they really feel they're ready. Spending money on someone for 18 years isn't easy, no matter how many tax breaks you get. Other factors include how safe the neighborhood is, how stable the jobs are, etc.

As America slowly turns into Brazil, the only people having kids will be the richest and the poorest.

>>18467026
Kids are very expensive and very much get in the way of having a career because of very insufficient child day care offerings in many place.

Which women often want, too now.

>>18466962
Would you want to sleep with him? Would you give him another chance now?

Are women hardwired to look for provider traits or is this a meme? Why then, when dating casually do they simply not look for provider traits? Is it more appropriate to call it social conditioning?

My best friend whom I'm friendzoned with has tried to get me to go back to study recently. Also keeps me in check when I'm about to break my diet. What gives, why does she give a shit?

>>18467104
Because that's what friends do.

>>18467104
Have you never had friends before or something?

I have been chatting up a girl in class. What are some flirty things to say?

Fellow girls

How do you get a guy out of your mind? I cut the contact but it didn't help.

My ex-GF wanted to be friends, I refused because I still want her back (didn't say so), now I am thirsty typical guy who only wants sex.

Am I not the man to her anymore?

>>18467107
>>18467114
I haven't had a friend since highschool and I'm 25

>>18467125
Sorry to be harsh, but:
Yea, it's like you can't just intentionally delete memories. Of any kind.

You really only forget some over time.

>>18467096
They look for providers when aiming for a long term relationship, especially once they're past the 25 years old mark.

Before that, many (but not all...) like to ride the CC.

>>18467104
Probably cuz she actually sees you as a friend. Probably nothing more than that though.

>>18467138
>Before that, many (but not all...) like to ride the CC.

Yes, i know that. I was asking if this is something hardwired? Can women or men be hardwired to look for something or is it social conditioning?

>>18467126
She literally said I fell down in her eyes, she thought I am a good guy and now she doesn't think so.

Was I retarded to offer FWB after breaking up and her saying after break up "sorry i tried but can't"?

>>18467138
She gets flustered whenever I mention any other girls. I once suggested that we stopped talking for a bit because I needed some time alone to stop liking her and she got upset about the whole so I ended up not doing it. Is she just trying to fix me

>>18467153
get out of the friendship, your a backup, a side host in case the parasite's current host dies (her boyfriend breaks up with her). Your a fish on the hook and she is more than happy to just watch you flailing and dying on her hook. Trust me break off all contact before it really fucks you up.

>>18467163
She's currently single and is autistic as shit. She barely goes out. We see each other 2-3 times a week and just get drunk and watch movies

>>18467143
The consensus among the Red Pill people is that it's hardwired, and if it's kept in check more commonly in some Muslim societies, etc. it's because of social pressure and the possibility of huge shame, but the desires are still there anyway.

I personally can't say I really know. The Red Pill people also say that men are hardwired to want to date and fuck multiple girls at the same time. I don't see anything wrong with that, but I look at myself and it doesn't seem I want that. Serial monogamy is more of my thing.

I don't think scientists are interested in investigating this much, aren't they? If only because it isn't PC, and they could get in trouble. We only have anecdotes and personal experience to go with.

>>18467153
I think it's normal to get upset when you're a girl and the ex you dumped, but you're trying to be friends with, mentions other girls. I wouldn't mind it much. She dumped you after all.

>>18467171
hmm then i got nothing maybe i need more context, you ever make a move if so how did she shut you down

Which do women hate more, the little chaste girl who drags around a bunch of suitors and takes them off the market till they realize she won't give it up or the walking sperm bank that poses a sexual threat to their newer relationships?

Am I supposed to be attracted to 80% of women, because I'm not?
I'm barely attracted to maybe 20% physically, not to mention personality plays a huge role for me too.
Is it a meme spread by men who don't get anyone and are so bitter that they have to lie and say that they'll take whoever they can get?

>>18467184
Neither because I'm happy in a long term relationship. And if I wasn't, a) I'm confident I could find someone suitable and compatible and b) if a guy is so fickle as to be tempted away by 'the walking sperm bank' then it's not really a big loss to me.

>>18467183
I've never made a move actually. Just asked her if she wants to date but she says she doesn't see me that way. I lost my shit once and said she'll never see me that way and she says that's not true that she just doesn't wanna be in a relationship right now(shes planning to study abroad so I believe her, she has an ex who she tried to have a LDR with and it failed) . She says staying here might not be so bad depending on what I do(kind of planning to move as well)

>>18467199
If this is considered a move whenever I get drunk I tend to hug her and kiss her a lot. She doesn't react too bad just says that I always do it when I get drunk

>>18467195
Fight the bad memes anon. Fight them with me.

>>18467205
ummm this is definitely not a healthy friendship she complains when you talk about other girls but doesnt want you for herself. Im convinced she just wants a friend as miserable as her so shes trying to make you that way. I would consider cutting it off.

Girls, could you stop making my penis grow?

Is there a hard proof that women are more emotional and crave emotional things in a relationship?

>>18467195
im not attracted to most women i mean physically im attracted to about 65 to 70 percent of women my age but once i factor in personality that number shrinks to like 1 or 2 percent, i like women im just not compatible, but occasionally i get so lonely that i feel i would take anyone over the dealing with the feels of my eventual lonely death never having made a difference in this world.

>>18467221
How

Girls, does the idea that your partner was previously in a homosexual relationship bother you?

>>18467236
this

>>18467260
Yes

>>18467260
As a male, the opposite would also bother me.

>>18467280
So should I not mention it to anyone in the future then, if I was in one prior?

>>18467285
It's up to you, just don't be surprised your girl will be repulsed with your past and you

>>18467255
No. Neuroscientists etc. aren't there yet.

And Psychology and the like will never deliver shit that is anywhere near hard proof for anything particularly specific.

>>18467341
Why doesn't psychology prove anything? Mostly because it is based on observation and anecdotal evidence instead of facts?

girls do you like or hate cancers?

>>18467121

Question for guys and girls

Girls,
Can you share a video where foreplay is exactly like you want?

>>18467372
>Why doesn't psychology prove anything?
Ethics, partially. Kind of interesting seeing the stuff they did at the turn of the century. But yes, there's also that niggling fact that it's a soft science.

>>18467195
>Am I supposed to be attracted to 80% of women, because I'm not?
I'm not sure I'd say 80%, but I do find the majority of women somewhat attractive. Or at least, the majority of women who take decent care of their body, I'm discounting landwhales altogether.

If YOU broke up with your girlfriend, would you still be upset/angry if you found out she slept with someone since the break up?

>>18467516
if she slept with someone else, say, less than a week after the breakup, i'd be upset yeah. i wouldn't say it to her but i'd be upset.

>>18467147
>Was I retarded to offer FWB after breaking up
yes

>>18467516
Upset, if there were still feelings. Not angry though.

>>18466239
i don't give a fuck.
very high-pitched voices can be annoying though.

>>18467536
What about 3 months later?

>>18467550
if it was a very long-term relationship (several years), then maybe? but even then, sleeping with someone doesn't mean much, and 3 months is a long time.

>>18465158

Girls: would you date a guy whose had sex with a trap? (Also what would you think of him)

It's a fetish I have but I'm always resistant to trying it out because I'm not interested in anything more than being fwb with a trap, and other than traps I have no interest at all in men. I have a feeling my female dating pool would become very small.

Do you Believe there is any figment of truth to the whole PUA stuff or is it just bullshit?

I don't believe in it because if it were true it certainly would be depressing as fuck, but I read some studies the other day which said some of it actually does rest on solid science.

>>18467562
You cannot force a women to be physically attracted to you. It may be true in the short term but not in the long term when she realizes what she did.

>>18467260
Me and my bf are both bi. It's hot.
If anything it makes me more secure that he's really into me/ my gender bc everyone knew he was dating this guy so he's not a closet case. No reason to be with me other than liking me teehee

>>18467556
Our relationship was very short, like a month long. It's just he wanted to talk to me again and when he asked if I've been with anyone I was honest about it. He looked so hurt that I feel very guilty.

I know it's stupid, he didn't talk to me since the break up and I felt like he didn't give a shit anymore, but I still feel like I betrayed him somehow.

I feel extra bad because I was a virgin while with him (I knew he was going to break up with me so I didn't do it with him), yet I lost my virginity with some random guy.

I don't know, am I just torturing myself needlessly?

>befriend qt girl at uni
>hugs me
>compliments me
>latches into my arm
>hang out sometimes with her
>blows air kisses to me
>find out she's had a bf since before we met

Is this some kind of joke? This happened a few months ago and I still can't understand why she would act like that if she had no interest in me as a bf. I'm /r9k/ so I'm kind of socially awkward, but surely this isn't how girls normally act, right?

I'm so confused by this situation, I don't even talk to her anymore but I just want to understand what was going on.

>>18467572
>I feel extra bad because I was a virgin while with him (I knew he was going to break up with me so I didn't do it with him), yet I lost my virginity with some random guy.
Honestly I'd probably hate you too. If it was some guy you'd been dating or had liked for a long time, that's okay, but a random guy? I'd tell you to fuck off.

>spent several years living as a crusty NEET
>depression and other mental issues
>better now
>on the surface I'm a moderately attractive guy, financially, personality wise, and looks wise
>know I can't tell girls about my past or they'll be freaked out
>too scared to use Tinder or other dating avenues

What do I do? I'm in the position to date girls but I don't want to lie, and I don't think they'd take me if they knew I was a depressed NEET for years.

Okay so I lost weight and my skin looks pretty good (been on a skincare routine for a bit more than 2 months now)

What do now to get gf?

>>18467593
Share skin care routine. I am a man and end up getting pimples whenever I put something on my face.

>>18467586
That's stupid as fuck dude, if someone doesn't like you for your past then fuck them. You're not that person anymore and if you're just looking for something casual there's no point bringing up anything about your past or you can just fake it if it makes you uncomfortable.

>>18467586
Why do you have to 'tell' them you were a neet? It should come up naturally with your partner. You're probably being all 'i have a terrible melodramatic secret' and dumping this info on them prematurely, when they dont really know you yet. People aren't equipped to deal with this if they don't know you well. You telling them you are a neet early on drives them away because it's too much at once and it shows how aspie you are, not because you had a sad past.

Hell, i had a worst past than you yet it doesn't drive anyone away when i tell them, because i know when to bring it up. I've told people 'yeah i had a real hard time and went to rehab before, but i'm good now' when it came up and all i got was support and it brought us closer.
If they ask you should say 'i was going through some hard times and trying to figure it out' which is true. You dont need to get into specifics like 'i had a waifu pillow and felt lonely every night' just like i dont tell people 'i took meth and also dealt drugs and got into fights' unless they specifically ask

>>18467601

I hit some very bad lows. I had all kinds of problems and am honestly scared of what I used to be like. Never became homeless or raving on the streets but I did alienate all my friends and let myself get treated really badly. Maybe it's my own self-confidence that's the problem but I feel like I was such trash that it'd be deceptive to get into anything long term with a girl.

>>18467581
I thought my ex didn't care about me anymore. Like if I saw him and hugged him he wouldn't respond and he even ignored my texts.

I rejected so many men after the break up and would have rejected the one I slept with too if I knew my ex cared about me even a tiny bit

I feel bad but at the same time I find it unfair for him to ignore me so long and then just pop back into my life to tell me he still can't be with me but he wants fwb and to get upset at me for sleeping with someone else.

He does suffer from mental illness but his actions are pretty selfish. I'm divided on feeling guilty and on being mad at him for letting me go in the first place.

>>18467578

Chad here, I meet bitches like this all the time. I usually fuck them, they aren't looking for a boyfriend, they are looking for validation. Whether or not it is sexual or just attention is based on you. Sounds like you are just there to validate her in the attention sense, sorry bro, you should just sever all contact now. Trust me.

Hit the gym and remember your mission.

>>18467604

To clarify, I don't tell them but feel like it'd cause conflict if I did. Not so much the NEET life, the years of mental illness part. How long should I wait? Won't they be frustrated by it and probably leave?

>>18467612

I don't talk to her anymore anyways. Why does she need validation outside her bf? She's such a nice girl too, doesn't seem like a Stacy. The more I learn about girls the less appealing to me they become as lifelong partners. Are the memes true?

>>18467596
It's quite simple, cleanse and moisturizer in the morning and the evening, plus sunscreen every time I go out. Exfoliate on tuesdays and saturdays, before cleansing or anything else.

>>18467613
Frustrated by what? There's no set time to 'wait'. The right time to let them know about your life in general is when you both start talking about deeper things and secrets (and you sound like you hold a lot of guilt and insecurity about this and that's why you want to tell them, not because you want to share your life. Your partner is not your therapist. Get help about this)
Other people are not therapists please remember that. It sounds like you're confusing this. You can tell her you struggle with depression and would like support (only when you guys are really close) but dont tell people things just to get the guilt/anxiety off your back

>>18467620

Many different reasons, but they generally all boil down to insecurity. She wasn't "nice", she was thoughtless and manipulative towards you. I'm glad you are learning bro, it is the first step. It really sucks when you first swallow the red pill, but it is all true. No matter what the beta orbiters or white knights try and say, it is all true.

>>18467620
Women only have empathy for two things in this world, which is the man they currently want inside of them (who is constantly shifting) and their children.

The lifelong thing is a meme. Women are unironically biologically hard wired to want to fuck any attractive men that comes around for his genes. Mind you, this is exactly the same for men, who want to impregnate any attractive female that comes around. But for men testosterone betrays us by taking a huge dip when we become fathers, somewhat overriding this biological imperative so we can become stable fathers in a soon to be sexually dead marriage.

So yes, love, being happily together forever and all that shit is a meme.

>>18467629 here

>>18467630 knows his shit.

>>18467626

I'm not trying to use anyone as a therapist anon, and I don't tell people I meet about my past failures. I just know this would come up eventually, and I can't pretend I didn't go through this phase without lying. Thanks for the advice just wanted to clarify this part.

>>18467630
>>18467629

Not sure if true or if bitter people are the only ones who talk about women online.

>tfw don't know who I'm being gaslighted by anymore

>>18466519
As far as I'm concerned, Chateau is correct.

Maybe he memes a little too far, but that kind of extremism is needed to counteract the betaism in 90% of men.

>>18466882
Thanks

>>18467372
We know enough about the human brain now to be almost certain that psychology won't really do much for telling us about *any specifics*, yes.

Couldn't IT style diagnose or even hardware/software debug even a man-made deterministic computer in that superficial way. And probabilistic + unknown design feature human brains are only harder for that kind of extremely rough exterior analysis.