Help me

>>18460008
How bad was your childhood?

>>18460016
OP is like 13 years old, what the fuck are you talking about

>>18460029
I'm 21 and the same way ya dip.

>>18460008

>unconditional help and friendliness
>can't form bond

Sounds like won't to me. You're the one with the hang-ups, people are offering their hands for you to take and you refuse. Stop playing like you're an emotional writer whose existence is but a desolate wasteland. Go out and experience the world instead of sitting on your computer and crying how no one loves you because you don't make yourself available to be loved.

>>18460029

I'm 25

>>18460050

I've lived in different countries over the last two years, i am at university

>>18460077

>I hate myself
>I want people to love me

Pick one.

>>18460090

But when I look at others, this is what they are portraying, that they are helpless and unliveable, but they give themselves to help others.

>>18460107

>they are helpless and unliveable
That's your perception.
>but they give themselves to help others
Because that's what good people do.

I can't form bonds too OP, developed trust issues over time and by encountering untrustworthy people, people get more complicated as we get older and it's harder and harder to figure out exactly where to begin sometimes.

Advice I can give you though is if you are in contact with people at university, slowly get to know them and let it grow organically in conversation, if you're in 1 on 1 conversation people can get really honest about themselves, but you have to get honest about yourself too, letting more and more of yourself in the other persons mind, and letting them into yours, organically, step by step, this isn't about confessing.

I can only give you that though, I don't meet anyone new, I haven't met anyone new in what seems like forever, maybe I just forgot, so I can't even follow my own words if I wanted.

We're all humans with a strong social human nature but with differences in our life, so you gotta align with every opportunity you feel like you got.

>>18460147

I'm sobering up I think (op here)

I wholeheartedly agree about organically opening up to others, unfortunately this k ly happens when. I'm in the exact perfect mood to do so. It's also very difficult to gauge if a person will become relaxed around you or not

I.became extremely depressed when the people I was with tonight discussed finding themselves.more and more In love with each relationship they had, despite having just one relationship myself to speak of

>>18460459

So you're just jealous. Okay.

>>18460465

Of course i.am jealous

They are relishing in their ability to.live as emotional beings, something that I have always felt like I am.not a part of

What point of living is there if you can never feel intimacy or heartbreak or lust or any special connection to a partner

>>18460008
If you want to love others you need to love yourself. Don't think of those wants that you have for yourself simply as idealism, think of them as possiblities. You CAN love, you CAN be loved. You need to remain in control of your mind and dictate your own decisions for your own good. You have to decide, or more of discover, that you are worthy of love and loving. You have so much potential to become better on this topic of worth and love because this topic pertains to your mindset, something you can easily change if you work up the will. It's honestly all about mindset. If you think you're pathetic, you're patheric. If you think you are engulfed in the human passion to live and love life to the fullest, then you are. Make your choice.

>>18460482

There's more to life than fucking other people and friendships. I've spent my entire life surrounded by people. Large family of 6, 3 other siblings. Oldest sibling got married, husband moved in, they had a kid, so we were up to 9 at one point.

At this stage in my life I'd love to be left alone for days, weeks at a time because I've never known what that's like. The grass is always greener, dude.

Also, you'd get over this a lot faster if you'd stop telling yourself you're incapable of feeling emotions or whatever, and stopped hating yourself. The jealousy and the self-hatred is going to turn away people who want to help anyway, and you'll squander those chances so you can continue to brood and have a pity party for yourself.

So it's whatever you want to make of this world, OP. You're making the choices. You're the one choosing to stay desperate, miserable, and alone. Maybe you should try working on the underlying issues that cause you to feel that way about people around you, and yourself.