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I don't even really know what to write. my parents say I'm a narcissist and everybody thinks I'm arrogant, despite the fact I was the golden child of my family, fellow arrogant people say I'm hilarious, or that I need to settle down because I'm always getting into trouble, but I only get into trouble because the idea of getting myself out of trouble makes me feel something. I constantly long for what I don't have, I finally get what I want and then reminisce on the past despite how much I hated it at the time, I really want to be happy, kind and good but I just can't be, it's too much effort and makes me feel weird. im with a girl who has all my interests, would move the earth for me, she's beautiful, a few years older yet I still constantly think about other women. I can't seem to hold a single relationship, they all crash and burn, they start the same way, I say the same shit to them and we eventually drift. i don't really hold onto friends, I feel lost, with no aim or direction, I fuck over everyone and I cannot see a happy future. I had a different girlfriend a year ago, we were horrible to each other, argued everyday, didn't really like each other, hated each other's views and interests yet I honestly miss her. I don't even think I feel unhappy, just numb.
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>>18459557
You need to see a therapist. Regardless on if you have a personality disorder, you need to learn how to deal with your life. You need to make a change. Get someone who will tell you how and make you accountable. Therapy.
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>>18459561
I've seen a therapist once but walked out. I've been told by enough people that it's wrong and part of me hates it but I'm so used to being like this I hate the idea of change. I'll try to see a therapist again though
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