I need advice

Why do you need to know?

>>18458474
Just go with the "I am concerned" attitude.

>"Anon we need to talk. It concerns me when I ask X you react like Z. It's important for our relationship for me to know if X is going to be a problem. Can you help me out here? Please let me know Anon."

>>18458483
I neef to know as it is starting to affect our relationship in every way.

>>18458484
I tried this a few months afo and he didnt want to talk about it. I want to respect this about him, but its getting to the point i feel its effecting our emotional and sexual relationship. Im lost and i just want to help him..

>>18458474
As a guy that this has happened to, please leave it alone.
I do not wish to discuss this with anyone I know ever as long as I live. If it happened to him, he may feel the same way. Nothing you say or do is going to change anything or undo it.

>>18458503
I understand that. And i know i cant help. But I came from a very abusive background and it helped our relationship to talk.
I dont want details i dont even want to know who it was. Just yes or no so our relationship can evolve accordingly.
Im sorry I sound selfish.

>>18458474

What makes you think he was abused?

>>18458523
A few months back we were talking about my past, my assults and abuse etc. He seemed uncomfortable, which is fair enough. But he mentioned his step dad being awful to him and "pretty much abusing" him.
There are some things in our sexual relationship that made me suspicious and he joked about a gay friend "practically molesting" him often but never wants yo talk about it.
I might just be thinking into it too much but I am worried about his well being as well as our relationship

>>18458513
Instead of trying to figure out the cause, perhaps you could just acknowledge the behaviors you have observed and indicate they bother you and you would like to work on those with him. I think you will get much farther with that approach.

>>18458540
Thanks:)
I think its just bothering me because of my past. I will try this though, thank you anon

>>18458536

It seems a bit of a leap to get from such minor things to past sexual abuse. You could be projecting your own experiences here. I'd suggest say nothing and do nothing, unless he volunteers information. For now it sounds like you're overreacting.

>>18458565
You're right. I could be