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Anonymous
What to make of my mother, five years later? 2017-06-26 06:58:46 Post No. 18457282
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What to make of my mother, five years later? 2017-06-26 06:58:46 Post No. 18457282
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What to make of my mother, five years later?
Anonymous
2017-06-26 06:58:46
Post No. 18457282
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>Be me.
>Have a mom who started graphically describing her sex life to me at age 12 or so
>She was always talking about what a shitty lover my dad was and giving me tips on how to be a better lover "so you won't dissapoint women like your father does."
>Hear her say stuff like "you can always talk to me about sex, it's not embarrassing anon, its just a natural and healthy part of life. Are you getting nocturnal emissions yet? What are your dreams like when it happens? Don't be shy, openness and honesty makes for a healthy mind."
>Be like: mumble mumble "I uh, dreamed about this chick in my math class with big tits, Okaythanksbai mom, time for me to go."
>Be too weirded out to mention any of this to my father or anyone else.
>One day in early teens, come home. There is a slightly-older-than-me QT3.14 sitting in the kitchen with my mother. They seem relaxed and laughing, etc.
>Mother says: "This is [insert slut's name here]. Do you like her? Do you like her body, anon? I met her at the mall and brought her here to meet you. If you want, she will walk you through your first sexual experience, anon. I want you to be relaxed and have a positive time with a nice girl who understands. You can always have sex here in this house without feeling you need to sneak around or hide anything from me."
>Be weirded out as usual but MUH TEEN HORMONES and MUH TEEN DIQ be like, "uh, yeah, I'd hit that, thanks mom."
>Have sex. Be happy.
>QT3.14 leaves. Mom says, "Tell me all about it, anon. Don't be shy. Tell me in detail. I can give you advice."
> Be weirded out but usual but like, "uh, OK mom I guess."
>>
(continued)
>Come home once every few weeks to find a new teen slut hanging out with mother. "Hi anon I brought you another girlfriend. Her name is Tiffany."
>"Uh, cool mom, thanks."
>"No problem, anon. Just remember what we talked about last time– how to delay ejaculation and move properly so you will give her pleasure, and not be a 30-second chump like your dad. I know you won't disappoint her, anon."
>"I'll try my best mom."
>Wash, rinse, repeat.
>Be a senior in high school. Finally get a real GF and not some slut brought home by mom.
>Mom flips out, starts smashing plates in the kitchen, threatens to call police on GF, threatens to throw acid in her face. "I can't believe you betrayed me like this anon. What kind of a son are you?"
>"I'm sorry mom, I didn't realize it would upset you so much."
>"You have two choices anon. Dump her this very afternoon or get out of this house and never come back."
>Gulp. "Yes mom."
>"That's a good boy. Remember family always comes first."
>Dump GF. Feel like an asshole as she cries and I can't explain why to her because it is too weird to tell her my mom made highly detailed threats of torture and death against her."
>Come home later, two sluts in the kitchen. "I want you to have your first threesome, anon. It's a present for being the greatest son ever."
>Leave home a few months later, strike out on my own.
>Live for a few more years before realizing how fucked up and abnormal my mom was.
>Wonder to this day if anyone else has had a similar experience. Never heard of anything like it from anyone else.
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Nice b8, we all know you're a virgin Anon.
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>>18457284
My advice
Is to do something productive like turn this greentext into a thriller novel or something instead of trying to fool us
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This shit never happened
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Jesus christ dude your mum is the bomb, a girl is the best wingman to get you into a three way but your mum is elder God teir. Yeah it's abnormal but who gives a shit life is boring and society robs you of so many freedoms, there's definite truth behind your mum's skewed logic and perception. Be happy with the hand you were dealt
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Find your ex girlfriend, tell her all of this. It'll be a load off her shoulders, I promise you.
If this is true, what happened to you was fucked up. I don't know why all the people ITT are saying it's good (I guess they might be gf-less virgins romanticizing things as usual). I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but at least you made it out.
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>>18457282
This gets my Seal Of Upheaval as worst fiction of the day
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>>18457282
>>18457284
When did /adv/ become /b/?
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>>18457282
My mom did the same but didn't hook me up but it was all kind of weird. Later I learned because she was powerless to mold my father, as all women believe they can, and her disappointment in him (her decision and didn't want to accept any responsibility) she projected all that shit on me, a child, she could mold into what she thought her ideal man. This is what single motherhood does to boys. Thankfully I escaped that shit in my early 20's.
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Not even slightly believable
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It started out ok, but man, you suck at writing fiction.
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