I'm so sad. I need help. Please.

>>18456552
go back in time and don't get married

>>18456565
I'm falling apart here.

I'd be even more lonely if I weren't married. Suicidal even.

I don't understand. No matter what I do, I'm just so lonely.

I love my wife but I don't know why I'm so sad.

>>18456552
What's wrong with your marriage?

>>18456572
I don't know. We argue a lot. There's a lot of shouting and it's very dramatic. I feel stress even though I'm actually kind of lazy and always procrastinating.

I miss the innocence I had before when I was happy. But even then I was so lonely because I was alone. I just want to be not so lonely.

I don't know why I had a dream about this other girl I haven't seen in years last night. All of a sudden I want to see her again more than anything.

I looked her up online and found her phone number and email from her university page.
She doesn't seem to have a facebook anymore and the last I saw her was 2 years ago.

But the last 2 times I saw her she acted kind of distant from me. But the first times I knew her, I took her to my high school prom and she actually sewed me something for a birthday gift and I spent a lot of time with her.

>>18456585
Have you considered marriage counseling, or talking to your wife, tell her you want to go separate ways maybe your wife is open to that too, or just tell her that the connection is gone.

I have a job but literally nobody talks to me at my job, ever.

It's an analyst job but I guess my firm is strange. I do almost nothing, just browing /biz/ at work, but get paid well.

It's mind-numbing. I've only been doing it for 7 months now but before that I just went to class and then back home.

I feel like I have no friends, yet I've failed to respond to messages for years. I feel like I have to finish whatever I'm working on to get to that.

Now I just sit in a little room away from my wife on 4chan and watching movies and listening to sad music all day.

I haven't slept at night with my wife in 5 months, and we married a year ago. We have sex but I haven't literally slept with her in months. Just browse 4chan at night and go to sleep crying.

>>18456594
There is a connection there though.

It doesn't feel like I'm upset with my marriage, even though it has its problems. It feels like I'm just a lonely person who is upset with my life.

I go to the same job where nobody talks to me and I don't do anything every day. And I have no human contact. And ten my wife cooks for me and we probabaly argue or something, maybe there's sex, but then I'm back to this.

I just feel so lonely and depressed and I don't know why.

I want more than anything to talk to that girl from 2 years ago.

Should I just call her later this week? Or in 3 months maybe?

I need to not feel so sad.
All I want is to make enough money to retire and not have to work like this one day.

To be honest, anon, I just don't know why I'm crying. I have a lump in my throat and I'm crying and I've been doing it for years and I never know why.

Does anyone have any sad music? A movie?

Anything?

Something to get me out of this rut?

>>18456552
I have this issue. Those memories are in the past, though. Maybe you can chase them by reconnecting with the old flames, but I'm convinced you would still have to make it work with those flames in the context of your present reality.

>>18456606
Have you tried socializing with your wife you know going out like to a bar, movies, or tell your wife to invite her friends with you guys to go out and eat make new friends with other married couples. As for calling your friend call her you guys are just friends catch up tell her about your life and what has happened.

>>18456647
Hachiko

>>18456648
I was just dreaming about that girl and suddenly woke up and all day I've wanted nothing more than to see her again.

I just feel so lonely right now and I'm tired of doing nothing at work all the time with no visible end or goal.

>>18456652
We have gone out with some other couples once or twice. It doesn't help me for some reason.

I used to be kind of wild and full of energy.

I get the feeling that girl from a few years ago thought I was strange after a while and maybe that's why she stopped talking to me these years later. Now she's finishing her last year of college in New York I think and possibly on an internship abroad right now.

I got a job in a suburb out in the middle of nowhere where I know nobody and I just wish I could see those people I knew growing up again.

Even then, though, I was so painfully lonely.

I need a goal or something. I just keep procrastinating everything....

>>18456653
I'll look it up.

I just wish I could stop crying and I don't even know why I'm so sad.

>>18456656
Right this is mostly emotional. Hopefully any actions you take to feel better take rationale and emotions equally inti account.

>>18456710
What can I do?

I feel like I just need to get out of this place. Once I get enough money saved up from my job to live for a while, I just want to leave.

>>18456656
Have you planned on going back as a you know a vacation.

>>18456719
Yeah but addressing your feelings is better than running. You could end up displaced and feeling worse. You could very well manage to feel better without chasing the past and leaving your wife.

I'd leave my wife if the relationship was no longer worthwhile. I wouldn't leave her on a whim.

>>18456724
Back where?

My wife is from Korea. One day I want to move there.

My family is from California.

I'm currently living in the suburbs of Philadelphia and went to college in Philadelphia.

Where would I go?
>>18456731
I don't think I could ever leave her.

I just wish I could go back to Korea, where I was happy. Where everything is exciting and I know everyone.

But I can't just leave my nice paying job here. That would feel suicidal unless I had a lot of savings to live on.

>>18456744
It can work in more than one place. Keep looking for happiness, OP. Maybe it involves going back to Korea, or maybe you can successfully pursue happiness here.

Look up the CPJ Grey video "how to be miserable." It explains what not to do in the pursuit if happiness.

>>18456751
I'll look it up.

Something about living in suburbs just drives me insane and makes me lonely. Living in Philadelphia was a disaster too though because I hated the people and the bugs. Only in Korea have I ever really felt happy.

That girl I woke up wishing to see again was the first person ever to show me Korea. But when I learned Korean myself I think she thought it was weird and now years later we haven't spoken and I don't think she will ever care but it meant a lot to me..and I'm back to crying again like I did as a teenager.

>>18456764
Philly and the meaningless suburbs can be dreary. That's where I grew up. Camden County.

I moved to Princeton and I prefer it here. Some move to California or Texas or Brooklyn or Oregon. It's up to you.

I know that with people I really love I can find the strength to make any plan that is feasible work. Where there is a will, there is a way, even if you are stuck in the US or tied to your job.

Just don't blame your environment for your feelings too much. Just bullshitting I'd say feeling is 1/3 environment, another part mental, and another part social. Your feeling is not all due to one factor.

It sounds crazy but sometimes a nice talk or a nice meal or some cuddling pulls me out of the gloom

>>18456805
I have a lot to do and a lot of money I feel I must make before being comfortable enough to quit and go back to Korea. Yeah, in Korea I know where to go for social events and when, regularly, and I always feel excited. Here it feels like nothing ever happens.

I think I need to find a friend I can talk to and have a meal or something. Anything to get out of this rut. One day I want to get out though. I am feeling better now..

>>18456841
Thank you I'm glad you're feeling better.

Remember while you're in the US that there are options better than plain suburbs and Philadelphia. I know from experience. Some places might have a big Korean community, too.

Good luck bro.

1. delete all tasks you haven't done
2. as new tasks come in. do then same day
3. as shit piles up, rinse repeat

if something truly important it will reappear. then work on forgiving yourself.