How can I get my mom to fuck off

>>18456265
(continued)...
I guess my main question is, for anyone who knows, can I take legal action? I find her repeated contact very upsetting, especially since some of it is truly unavoidable. There's no way to block her from calling me at work, and I can't even delete the messages without listening to them in their entirety (although I guess I could let them play to the end without listening).

Is it really illegal harassment though, and would the cops take it seriously?

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>tfw read this as "how can i get my mom to fuck"
>tfw disappointment in what could have been an interesting thread

>>18456265
OP here, sort of bumping and sort of explaining more.

I don't want to call the cops on her. It feels like it shouldn't come to that. But she won't stop, and I really really want her to.

So maybe the question I should ask isn't whether I can "take legal action", but whether it might get her to stop. I don't want her to get arrested or to sue her. I just want her to stop.

But I also don't want to take the trouble to reply to her emails with a threat of legal action, and then have her just keep doing it and then feel like an ineffective jackass for making empty legal threats.

But honestly, I should also admit that *IF* it was both possible and necessary to have her arrested in order to make her leave me alone, I would.

The important thing is saving all of your written and recorded contacts that you've had in the last year or earlier. You need hard evidence. That is the basis for any legal action to take place. Taking inventory of the sheer volume of contacts will put things in perspective when you make your final decision. Perhaps before threatening legal action, you might start with more minor digs, like mentioning how bad she looks calling you 50 times a day. I have a narcissistic beast of a mother who doesn't respond well to looking bad in front of others. I know the last thing you want is to have direct contact with her, but now you have a right to go on the offensive. Think about how your mom ticks and say things you know are damaging to her inflated ego and emotional neediness. I am not saying you need to be mean to her, but tell her truths you know she doesn't like to hear. She may think you're the most awful person after that but she'll probably leave you alone. Manipulative people don't hang around people who smell BS.

>>18456265
Call the police dude

why is she contacting you? have you tried to compromise with her? does she seem interested in a compromise?

She's your mother anon. She's going to want to talk to you. Now, my mother annoyed the fucking shit out of me personally. She wanted me to be a pastor and I wasn't interested, etc etc., but we managed to have a relationship despite this after a long series of discussions. What is stopping you both from reaching an agreement? My mom's dead and I wish I could talk to her again, so forgive me if I sound like I'm berating you but you should at least try to reach a compromise.

>>18456687
Most of her emails are just repeatedly pleading me to talk to her.

I have had literally zero contact with her for 4 years, ever since I told her I didn't want to be in contact anymore. At that time I really told her off and made it clear I didn't want to hear from her.

seeing myself type this, I guess it's really time to see what can be done legally. If I tell her to fuck off informally again like I did last time, she's just going to keep going. She really needs to fuck off.

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>>18456711

>She really needs to fuck off
>I just don't want my mother talking to me

But why? Your answer is insufficient. I get that you don't want to share, but you just come off as someone that hates their mother for no reason other than she wants to talk to and see her baby, and frankly that makes you the dick here.

I do encourage you to inform the authorities of this, I mean, she's relentless and there is nothing okay about that. After reading your posts I can't help but feel for your mother, but holy shit dude you're a complete dick.

>>18456711
Before you lawyer up (kinda a difficult case for cops) you should tell her one more time IN WRITING that you do not wish to hear from her. That solidifies you as the person being transgressed in a legal case.

One day your mum will die, and you will cry

>>18456762
It's entirely possible that there's something wrong with me for not wanting anything to do with her. Like I said, I don't think of her as a horrible person, even though I am pretty mad at her right now.

I'll try to explain what I can. She's just an emotional black hole, and when I'm in contact with her it always seems like everything ends up revolving around her and her feelings.

She is perpetually stuck being sad "missing me" and crying about the past and things she regrets from when I was little. I know it sounds sad since any mom would miss me after 4 years of no contact, but before that she was in a perpetual state of "missing me". Even when we lived together she would cry and say we didn't talk enough and say she "missed me" even when I was right there.

I moved out of the house when I was 18 and maybe that was hard for her (even though what the fuck was I supposed to do, never grow up?). But then she moved a thousand miles away. And she fucking cries all the time and says she "misses me".

The bullshit about "missing me" all the time is pretty retarded considering nobody forced her to move so far away.

I really hate talking with her on the phone because literally all she does is cry and say we don't talk enough and that I should tell her how I feel. I never told her how I felt because it was always just annoyed at her and wishing she would stop crying and let me get off the phone.

My earliest memories are of her crying, and me being so little that when I saw her crying I just started crying too.

I know she's fucked up, and that sucks, but she was an adult and I was a fucking baby. She used me for comfort for my entire life and she's still trying to, and that's disgusting.

I could talk to her every day. She would just cry every single time and say we don't talk enough.

A mom should not rely on her kids to save her from herself. I could have a chance of happiness. A better chance, if she would just fuck off

>>18456771
Good idea, I wrote an email and I will send it tomorrow if I wake up and it still looks good. Trying to make it direct and not too emotional. Just saying I want to be left alone.

>>18456803
Maybe but I would probably cry whether I talk to her again or not. I am sure that I will never look back on this and wish I would have pretended that her harassing me like this is OK. She will be remembered for a lifetime of me wishing she would just leave me alone.

>>18456265
>How can I get my mom to fuck off
>I am a 34 year old man
>man
>"man"

>>18456814
>>18456762
I probably sound really callous too, so maybe I should explain that I used to be really affected by her crying and give her sympathy and stuff. It wasn't even until my late 20's that I really noticed her ability to turn it on and off, and realize there was manipulative bullshit afoot.

Even if the crying were 100% genuine it wouldn't be my responsibility to fix my mom. But it's not that genuine.

>>18456855
what would I do if I was a real man? threaten to kill her?

>>18456855
This

That is also what the cops will say.

They will call you a little bitch for trying to block your mom.

I mean who the fuck does that? For real..

>>18456859

lol what the fuck anon

>>18456265

My question would be how she's getting your personal information so easily to track you down.

>>18456814
>tfw that's my mom without all the crying
she isn't as irritating as your mom but that's only because i haven't manned up and moved out yet

>>18456859
Answer the email, telling her that if she tries to contact you again you will take legal action.

>>18456265
you could give her an ultimatum: either she starts seeing a psychiatrist, or you will file a restraining order. Sometimes people need interventions like that

Can't you request to change your work email?

this fucking 'moms are special and get special privileges' things is getting really fucked.

let's flip the roles really quick

>man attempts to contact woman for four YEARS after she rejects
>regardless of familial relationship
this guy would have been dealt with before the first year passed

>>18456762
>>18456762
>But why? Your answer is insufficient

get out of here with that bro. a 34 year old man is perfectly capable of making the decision to cut someone out of his life. he owes no explanation as to why. she could have tried to kill him for all we know. granted op said she isn't a horrible person but that doesn't mean op has to put up with any shit either
>she wants to talk to and see her baby
op isnt a pet that his mom owns and gets to see on demand
she can fuck right off if she gave op a reason to cut off communication.

Dude, your mum is precious and should be respected. You only get one so just fucking count yourself lucky she's still around. She won't be forever.

oh and to answer your question since no one else gave you specific. look into cease and desist orders and restraining orders for legal recourse against your mom

>>18457357
>Dude, your mum is precious and should be respected.
stop giving people privileges for doing absolutely nothing

>You only get one
>oh yay my special mom gift. moms are automatically so great and special with no effort on her end! i should be so happy i have a mom even though she may or may not be beneficial to my existence

>so just fucking count yourself lucky she's still around.
no its actually a pretty normal thing for parents to stick around. in fact its the genetic default. no luck involved

>She won't be forever.
so will everyone else anyone has ever met ever.

>>18457357
I have dealt with death before. I promise that after she dies I will not look back on this and wish I had tolerated her harassment and stalking. >>18456907
>>18457028
Due to the nature of my work it's always going to be easy to get my contact info just by googling my name.

>>18456265
You are just feeding her obsession. It might be simplest to agree to meet with her once, in controlled circumstances, with the explicit warning that this will be a one-time event and that any further contact will lead to a do-not-contact injunction.

Let her say how sorry she is and how much she loves you, thank her politely, and repeat the warning.

>>18457674
One last visit isn't going to change anything. If no contact for 4 years is "feeding her obsession" then why do you think she would stop if I meet her one more time and then go back to no contact?

There aren't any circumstances I would want to meet her in anyway.

>>18457674
>enabling someone who cries and moans to get what they want
Let me guess, you're also a big enough bitch that you'd take back a cheating girlfriend? How badly did your father fuck up raising you that you believe that to be the correct action?

OP, stick to your fucking guns.

>>18456274
You're going to get a lot of "shes your mommmm you're supposed to loveee her' replies from idiots who can't comprehend a reality other than their own. My mother was extremely abusive and I totally get why sometimes a person just isn't good enough to be in your life despite being related.

Yes, this is harassment. We can't give legal advice if you don't say what country you're in. I strongly recommend you file for a restraining order. The case you want to make is that she was abusive when you were a kid, and the persistence and psychotic behavior she's presenting makes you fearful. The key in determining whether a restraining order will be upheld is to establish a possibility of danger and that you are afraid. Document all the emails, calls, texts, and have your boss sign a short written statement saying he's observed this. When you go to the police just go down to the office to file it don't call. I would send her a template 'cease and desist' letter as well, then once you've had the restraining order filed you can have the police notify her. FOUR YEARS of repeated harassment is insane behavior.

>>18456670
>>18456825
>>18457674
Wrong. Do not do this. DO NOT send a personal email. You need to have a lawyer send her a cease and desist letter, or at the very least print a template of one and put it in the mail to her house. Keep a copy and make sure you send it certified so there's a record. A personal email, even just saying 'leave me the fuck alone' can weaken your case in having a restraining order upheld, crazy as that sounds. This is terrible advice. It will make her more persistent thinking she's finally got thru and will also make it much harder to file for a restraining order.

>>18456274
You hire a lawyer to get an estimate if what you have is sufficient or not, and to handle any requests to cease these attempts.

>>18457674
This won't work.

>>18457701
thanks. I live in the US by the way

>>18456265
how the fuck is she getting your new work details if you haven't been telling her?

block her on FB, Linked In or wherever and avoid posting any revealing info, and keep it vanilla on social media any mutual friends/family may have access to.

tell the rest of the family never to give out your details.

finally, as a last resort, you can always post some pics of your mum, her kik and other details and some pervs on /b/ will be more than happy to giver her a dose of her own medicine.
>inb4 NPA

>>18457995
Due to the nature of my work it's always going to be easy to get my contact info just by googling.

>>18458046
well then stop advertising your boipoucci on craigslist and start taking proper preventative measures.

also get the switchboard/secretary on board: nor forwarded calls etc. just tell them she's a raving loon, sad but what can an anon do?

>>18456687
hey, you're a religious man, how about you have a bit of a pray and a graveside talk, yeah?

>>18456814
So... That's it? Baby... I mean I thought she like, abused you and stuff. It just seems like she needs a strong man because you've yet to mention your dad whom I'm assuming is a deadbeat which explains a lot since not having a father figure is probably the reason you have no idea how a man deals with emotional women. Not your fault though. But if that's all then I'm out.

>>18458098
My dad stayed married to her for the kids sake until we grew up, and then he left her.

Women shouldn't need strong men just to be at a point where they don't cry all the time. Any woman who needs that is basically worthless