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How do you stop being an asshole in relationships, unable to

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How do you stop being an asshole in relationships, unable to move on and dragging up old relatively old stuff? Me and my girlfriend have been together 4 years and we've been through some tough times. I'm stuck still blaming her for a lot of it and I think I might be one sided and ignoring my part because I'm blinded by what she's done.

I don't even care anymore who's objectively the one who fucked up the most, I just want us to be okay

Does anyone have any tips for moving on past things that don't really matter in the big picture? She has done it successfully on many areas but I just don't seem to be able to.
>>
I've been there. It depends on the shit she did, how ruthless and the level of disregarding to you it was, and what she has done to repair it since, imho.
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