GIOYC thread

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Very important reminder for anons to never date anyone with borderline personality disorder. I did and it is the only time I have ever considered myself to have been emotionally abused by anyone.
When she was in a good mood, she would be the sweetest, kindest, and most fun person I've ever been with. She made me feel as if no one had really understood the way I feel until I had met her. At a point, I was effectively dependent on her and the way she made me feel. But when she was in a bad mood, she would treat me like dirt, and say the most cruel things she could imagine. The only way to get her to switch back would be to apologize and shower her with affection for days. The worst part is that if I told her about something she had done to upset me, she would not only act offended, but flip the blame entirely onto me, again saying horrid, nasty things, until I had suitably grovelled back into her good books. The constantly flipping emotions (both from her and myself) was a pretty strong impetus for me to go back on the anti-depressants I'd been off for over a year. But I was so obsessed with her due to the aforementioned sweetness that this happened several times before I cut her off entirely.
Looking back, I can tell that all her kindness was just her acting on some whim, trying to coerce me into giving her what she wanted, whether that was just affection or just a brief respite from loneliness. I don't think she ever had feelings for me.
The worst part is that even now, knowing that she has treated me like shit, there's still a part of me that misses her, or at least that first part of our relationship. Please learn from my mistakes.

To be fair, I was KINDA correct.

>>18456066
Being emotionally abused sucks, anon. She doesn't miss you. Don't miss her. It's not worth it.

Sorry for not always listening to you people. To be fair, you tried to kill me. Multiple times.

Also, I fucking hate you. So, there's that.

>>18456066
I know how you feel. My girl was borderline too. Don't you ever think to go back to her, she will never change.

I hope you don't think too lowly of me.

>>18456083
It's difficult, but I'm getting there. Hilariously, I've never missed an ex so much for so long.

>>18456094
Some people deserve to die though.

I'm a slave to my vices. I don't know where really to start, since i'll just open more and more tabs on possible starting points.

I'm being killed by myself, slowly. I can feel my personality fading, all i've archieved fading because of senseless, futile desires, such as food, martubation and sloth. I feel like such a fucking loser.

Dear GIOYC,

I like having you around so I can vent out all my anger.

I want to kill you all. I wish i could use the word ''murder'', as in ''murder you all'', but that'd imply you had some semblance of innocence. I can't get rid of this fucking hatred and angst i have in myself thanks to all of you. I fucking despise you all and your existence, and i don't even like thinking about the things that prevent me from smoldering and chocking you all to death with my bare hands, one after one, and hang your worthless bodies around your precious homes, since you love possessions so much they might as well be worth more than people, right? Fucking son of a bitches. All you did to me, all you did to their legacy. You all deserve suffering and death and suffering. You, old whore, you, you greedy bastard. All of you. From you to your youngest spawn of shit deserve to suffer. It baffles me how such a bunch of piece of shit whores like you all manage to live in such a small radius. You taught me how to hate better than anyone i'll ever meet that's for sure, hate so deeply ingrained i don't even feel like i have control of most of myself. And specially, making me hate myself like i do now. I'm trying really hard to be worth of the love of God, but you're making it so very difficult to not wish you all the worst one can endure before expiring.


Please, free me from all of this. Help me.

I want to quit my job because the friends I made at work don't want to talk to me anymore. It started with one ignoring me, then that same one encouraging the others to leave me behind and avoid me for breaks and now they all pretend not to see me. Nobody will tell me what I did. It was so nice to have a place to belong for awhile. I don't know what I'm doing to keep fucking it up. And now I don't know what to do because I haven't gone in for three days and I keep having anxiety attacks when its time to go thinking about how I will have to spend 9 hours not just alone but being ignored.

>>18456055

I'm so weak willed.

"I'll never work there full time again. Yes, I know it's gotten better, but I can't trust them after the shit they pulled. There is a reason they are covering their asses right now. I'm fine working part time, there's more to life than work anyway and if I need money that badly I can do overtime or get a new job".

Amazingly cute girl with a great accent that seems to like me, even if she is married so nothing is ever going to happen: "You should come back full time".

"You're right. This place isn't so bad".

I'm surprised I can't get referred to a neurologist. You'd think regarding schizophrenia, a physical problem w my brain would be something they'd want to rule out early. Seems irresponsible considering the amount of time I've complied with being medicated. If I become acutely schizophrenic because they weren't treating me properly, can/should I sue? I feel failed.

I cheat and screw over everyone I've met and won't keep any friends unless they have something to benefit me. most people think I'm arrogant, my parents think I'm narcissistic but I don't think anybody realises that I'm really this way. I openly tell people I'm a horrible person and they always tell me I'm not. I coast through life, meeting people, making a mark on their life and then leaving. aside from some of my family, I've never kept a friend or a partner.

Emma

Is your last name Knight?

Ellen

I don't miss you. Your phone was disconnected, and even if it wasn't I'm not sure I care to see you again. I don't like you very much, I was lying when I said I loved you. I'm sorry.

At least you're happy Abbie.

In the future, Germany will be reaching to the Memel again.

>>18456055
Anyone that is over 12yrs old is a disgusting pedophile with severe retardation because you are all stupid trash with pseudo intelligence.

I'm very paranoid that I'm an aspie. Maybe the aspergers meme just gets thrown around these boards and it's rubbed off on me but my paranoia is that:
1. My brain is operating on a different wavelength, there is an element to socializing that is a complete mystery to me. Almost like a secret indirect "between the lines" language that normal people speak that I'm missing out on.
2. Normal people realize this about me within 10 minutes and I am unreconciably different from them; unable to form an emotional bond or a "real" relationship.

Either way I have social anxiety and paranoia issues I should probably work out with a therapist, but aspergers to me is almost like a death sentence because it's not curable

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tfw found a cute guy to be my bf, eventually we soon realize that it wasn't going to last longer than two months because we don't share the same interests. anytime we meet up if we don't have sex or watch tv there's always awkward pauses cuz both of us don't really understand eachother's interests.


Its been two months but we haven't seen eachother for two weeks. we both haven't decided to split yet because we both hope that it can still work.... somehow.... idk how....

;_;

I won't cry anymore. I won't beg anymore. No matter what you say to me, I won't be fooled anymore. I gave you most of last year. That was it, that was all you get, so leave it with your last message. Don't send another, definitely don't get emotional, that time between us is done, like you wanted it to be. Walk away with your head held high, like I'm learning to do so myself, and don't look back with nostalgia or regret. None of it was as pretty as it seems to be now in our memories.

Losing you may have broken me, but I'm finding new miracles. I'd say good luck, but you don't need my words.

I always wanted to go back in time, around 1990 with a modern pc (something like 1080) and just blow people's fucking minds with games and movies.

>>18456491
pretty much my number 1 skill is to sit for hours imaging shit that could literally never happen ever. Like, really really in depth and detailed.

>>18456423
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5soixb2U6xM

There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss you so much, it makes me want to curl up and die. I never wanted to live my life without you and you've made it so I have to. It's not as simple as me not wanting to go back to the way things were, of course I do, but I don't even know if you feel the same way or if you even care. I don't know you at all, but I think you're not really capable of understanding what happened here, or maybe you are and just don't give a shit, you just want to be loved, to feel important to someone, to use them for affection. You're basically an emotional vampire, and I forgive that because I do love you, or else I wouldn't be in this much pain - I would just hate you, and it would be over with. I tried, but I can't. But after how horrible and worthless you made me feel, and knowing what I know now about your motives, and for all the shit we went through when we were together... I don't even have the nerve to say anything to you. There's no point. I just have to feel this confusion and emptiness for the rest of my life and feel rocks in my stomach every time I leave my house, because we spent so many memories together, that I am always reminded of you.

>>18456557
Damn anon that hits pretty close to home, except I would want things to go back in a heartbeat.

>>18456580
I won't lie, if they showed up tonight, I don't know what I'd do. I don't think that's going to happen and I probably never will know why.

>>18456365
Interests don't really matter too much. As long as you two have some things you can enjoy together you'll be good. Other than that even if you're not willing to engage in each other's interests you can ask about them and support each other.

Simple things like "Can I see what you've done with ___ lately?" If he's into painting you don't have to paint with him just ask to see the paintings. Or ask what he's thinking of painting. Things like that.

Doing your own seperate hobbies in the same room together is also nice.

Best of luck anon!

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Met a girl
We love each other
4 years later...
>Anon, I want to be honest with you... You won't like it. Last 2 months I was thinking about breaking up. I never in our relationship thought this could happen, that I'll fell this way...
Don't know what to think, felt like falling into abyss... We were thinking to get married and create a family. Now... It's all gone.
When she said that, after some discussion I left. Few days later came back for my stuff, she left a note where she said that that night when I left she couldn't sleep, all night hoped tyat I'll come back... After I read it, decided to stay, wait for her when she'll come back from the job. Aaand nothing fucking changed, she was cold to me and still wants to break up with me.
Now, passed more than a month. I haven't spoke with nor I will ever.
I hate her so fucking much. Not because she broke up with me, but because she didn't even said the reason. According to her
>I don't know why, I just feel like this past 2 months...
No more long time commitment. I'm done with this uncertainty in my life.
FUCK YOU!

In the end... I don't care anymore... I never planned in my life to share it with someone, although, it could have been her.

>>18456066
You can't spot borderline personality disorder right away. They literally lure you in until you are hooked, they are the succubus of the dating world. Get yo dick sucked and run.

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>tfw cracked and sent my ex a text seeing if we could try and be friends
>we had been broken up since October
>missed the companionship so much I cracked
>she never responded to it

It's fucking pathetic that I cracked like that. I guess it's better she never responded.

>>18456162
Dude, people are stupid in general. Unless they are educated or just an individual with a somewhat non traditional lifestyle they are usually going to be fucking idiots.

Relax, embrace the beauty of sentience and just be grateful you have the awareness to not be a sheep.

Should you kill your dog for shitting on the floor? No. Should you get new floors if it happens too often? Probably.

Solve your problems, don't create new ones.

>>18456168
If you go with it and mind yourself they'll come back around. Be a little cold if you gotta. Go by yourself on breaks, don't initiate conversations. Maybe look for a new job, don't quit right away.

I'm pretty decently not dumb, if I wanna get my GED I should be able to just do one test and get it, right? Idk if it will make me less of a loser, because I know losers that graduated, but maybe I'll feel less like shit?

I'm a terrible person. I have a boyfriend who I love but I've been spending time with other online friends (who are guys but I've been friends with them for years) and I'm developing a small crush on two of the guys somehow. I enjoy my time with them and we had a serious discussion last night and it was very personal and it made me feel for them. I actually can't tell if it's a crush but it's more like I want them to be okay and I want to help them and learn about them. I love my boyfriend a ton but I am somewhat interested in these guys and want to know more about them? Is it a crush or what I don't understand?

I lost my shit today, took out the garbage at work and I just punched the recycle box we use until my hand bled. Busted my knuckles just wailing on that box, I've never been so angry in my life. I'm a very passive person who's never been physically violent, so it was different .Got some of it on the box lol, hope they dont notice it. I hate myself so goddamn much, but after sinking so low as to sperg out on a box, everything feels clearer now and I feel like I've regained my resolve to get better. I ran a 10k for the first time after my shift because I channeled all that negative hateful energy into the will to run that much. I did that run 22 hours into a 24 hour fast, so I feel even more accomplished. I have so far to go, and much of what I'm doing is in sight of a goal I will probably never achieve, but damn it there is glory in fighting a losing battle instead of just giving up

So there is this girl at work who taken an interest in me. She is a hard worker and she's very nice. Prob is she is 18 years old and 11 years younger than me. I know a kind of relationship like this won't last very long. She keeps subliminally dropping hints that she wants me. She mentioned that a little teddy bear that I gave her is by her bedside and she sleeps with it each night. Now the autistic me will prob be like "hurr durr I have no stuffed animals in my bed" but in reality i was like "hmmmm every night". She was blushing even more when I said this. I know she is interested in me and I'm cool with that. I just don't want to hurt her since she is a co-worker and she is 18. W/e gonna go with the flow, yolo and only a couple more weeks of seeing her this often before I head to the other job

PS: I did not go out of my way to get this teddy bear I just had it and really had no use for it.

I want to kill myself.

>>18457011
Welcome to the club.

why couldn't you be you, but not a whore? like you know how to be seductive in exactly the right way for me, and the weird thing is your motives are essentially trad... but it's all just been twisted and bastardized by this sick society we live in so you ended up where you are. and that anger you feel and the shame and the hurt that slips now and again when you talk about some of the stuff you do... just its really unfortunate and there's nothing I can do. that's unfortunate too. it's gotta be you but you don't understand it you just keep going for those small immediate gratifications that you think keep you happy.

>>18457011
>>18457015
Silly hats only

Bitch. I know you're in town for the summer. Stay away from me. Stay away from my dog.

I don't want to see you. I don't love you anymore and I know you never loved me. I'm not going to be your escape again.

Sorry I ghosted you. It was immature and selfish. It was wrong and I get that. I can't imagine a world where you accept my apology. It's bullshit and my excuse is lousy. Forgive or don't, I just hope you're okay.

Two days until I see him~

>>18457011
>>18457015
I'm glad you haven't killed yourselves. I know it's hard, but stay strong.

got home from the gym late, gotta make food for meal plan, gotta do some work to prep for tomorrow, then get like 5-6 hours of sleep. tomorrow, finally, get the ball rolling on all this stuff.

ha, fuck you captcha, that wasn't a wrench, that was a carbon fiber road bike front fork.

>>18456055
I'm about to move but I met someone I really like and I'm wondering if I might regret the move.

>>18457095
Eh, 50/50 chance. Depends what happens in the next two weeks and especially in the next month.

IM SO FRUSTRATED!!! My boyfriend is so worried I'm going to leave him for another guy and I'm NOT. I love him

then he's worried I wasn't a virgin before I met him because I didn't bleed during our first time. I don't know why I didn't bleed!!!!!!!
I have never seen a dick in my entire life until I met him
This is driving me crazy I am honest and I've told him everything and I let him look through my phone and have the passwords to my social media so he can look whenever. I insisted. it was my idea.
STOP THINKING THIS!!! I AM SERIOUSLY TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. i know its hard but please!!

Hey GIOYC it's me. 3 years ago i met a girl named miranda, and we became ok friends with a lot of mutual friends. We sort of stopped talking about a year later and sort of forgot about each other. However, as time passed, i began to dream about her, and in my mind she became a sort of symbol for a good time in my life and i realized I had to get back in touch with that side of me. So one day, maybe 3 months ago i decide to text her and see whats up having no idea what to expect. Well she remembered me and we start to catch up and eventually develop a super close friendship. I learn what happened to some other people I knew, i learned that she had come out as a lesbian, i learned about her personal life and her new hobbies, and we've texted basically every day since then and met up a few times. School got out a week ago, and I've been waiting for an opportunity to hang out again, but today she texts me saying she's not gonna be here next week. I ask why and she says she's moving away. I'm happy for her because i know her home life is rough and she deserves a fresh start, but im also terrified for her. Also, i guess why im here, i cant help but feel a little bit crushed. I feel like everything good in my life is taken away from me and like I drive away everybody I love away. I feel so selfish but im probably never gonna see her in person again. If anyone has advice or can sell a large amount of ketamine in the ventura CA region feel free to respond. Feel like crawling into a massive k-hole.

When I was young -- somewhere between the ages of 10 and 11, the idea that my older brother would die before me some years down the line really got to me and I had to pretend that the thought that the strong possibility of it inevitably happening wasn't bothering me.

Ace Ventura was on that night and I couldn't even focus the rest of the movie and I felt like crying my eyes out.

>>18457159
Care to share whats going on? I'm all ears.

every time I get home from the gym, I get out of my shower, I walk into my bedroom, and I get this idea of like what I want in that moment most of all. what I want is a pretty blond reading a book in bed that I can lay down next to and partly annoy and part turn on by distracting her from her book with caresses and kissing her neck while we talk about whatever about our day until I get her to the point that she can't juggle talking and pleasure and talking just sort of transitions into a different conversation.

I'm so emotionless. And I don't know why. It might be my state of mind, the way I think. I don't really know what it is. I just want to go bad to being the old me. I try, but I can't. Therapy didn't help me. Medication's placebo effect did nothing also.I'm just so fucked I can't do anything about it. Love has completely changed me. In a bad way. Don't fall for it.

by venting on here i've lost my passion for the musician married jew guy i was crushing on hard for a while when my husband decided to be such a complete dick that i had to turn to something else to remember not all guys are awful worthless creatures incapable of empathy

and then my husband tonight raped me

i realize that's what he's been doing for years, i don't want him around my vagina because he is such an insensitive, selfish prick who only wants to get off any time we're not being sexual

if we are, it's all about him

i want to meet a guy who understands that sex isn't about orgasm and peaking isn't the best thing life has to offer

>>18457227
Thanks anon, but unfortunately to explain it in more detail might prevent the good outcome from occurring. Which is what I am sure you are trying to push towards. It is very much an out of my control kinda thing.

I had a perfect relationship with the girl I love and fucked it up by having a drunk night with 3 girls. I saw one of the girls naked and she saw me naked. She was my best bro's GF. Even though in hindsight I shouldn't have told her, I told my GF. She broke and I broke when I saw her suffer.

Now it's 8 months of fights later and she broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I see her at work sometimes and she shows no emotion. I tried talking to her but all she says "its over, we have nothing together, just leave me alone."

I have been crying for days and days and I wish I took her offer 4 weeks ago to move with her to the other side of the country and start fresh.

I'm such a wreck right now with mental breakdowns at work and all I want is her back. No matter what it takes. All I can do is hope.

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

Author Unknown

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed or just felt. They have come to assist you through a hard time, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. Then, suddenly, the person disappears from your life. Your need has been met; their work is done.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share or grow or give back. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They give you great joy. Believe it; it is real. But only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons—things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all your other relationships.

Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.

And when they are gone, be thankful for the gifts you received from them when they were here—for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

>>18457204
RUN that's not normal healthy behaviour

cain cain cain cain cain

I got dumped through a text message after a 6 month relationship. He's currently overseas on holiday and doesn't come back until Friday. I haven't had any closure and it's fucked me up for a good 2 weeks. The relationship was going great as far as I could tell and all of a sudden, he gets more distant and eventually says his heart isn't into the relationship.

I've been a complete wreck not knowing what the hell exactly happened. I don't know if he got scared by something or he made a mistake, but not being able to talk about it with him is killing me. I'm not sure if I should try to make it work after having my heart broken. The better part of me is saying move on, but I think that's not fair to either of us. I'm really at a loss right now and have no idea what to think of the situation.

seriously? I'm not doing the wild assumptions insulting quiz anymore. you realize that's incredibly off base right?

I'm choosing to trust that you won't toss me like a piece of garbage over your escalating sex addiction. I hope you realize the more you feed it, the more depersonalized you will feel, the more depressed you will be, and you won't love me anymore or care about anything as you drown in a haze of nothingness.

>>18457456
to have a sex addiction I'd have to be having sex.

>>18456423
Beautiful, i wish i had the courage to do this

>>18456557
Anon, i feel the same way and its getting worse everyday...

>sitting in the park with my dog alone
>older couple walks by
>lady asked my dogs name
>I say "why?"
>husband gets pissey and they walks away
Was I rude for asking them their intentions of asking what my dogs name was?If I answered them the start probing with more questions and I wasn't in a talkative mood.Would have rude not to answer at all...

>that moment that you realize you have an expense reimbursement plan
I mean we're not talking like, crazy right now... but I wonder how quick I can get to a point where I can travel the state, and then the country, for free. does it violate my values to push this and find the limits so long as I'm also learning more skills and doing my job, creating more value than cost in the process? I don't think so.

Finally, after more than 18 months, I'm beginning to get over him.

>>18456236
I... have several hammeroids.

I love being brown.

I'm only 23 and my dick still works but doesn't get as hard as it used to and I'm getting worried

I miss her.
The woman of my dreams is now the Ex I dream about every night.
And the worst part is I know I fucked up. I am too inexperienced to settle anyways, but each meaningless hookup only makes me miss her more. I could kick myself for being such an idiot.

>>18457571
Irrelevant, at least you're in a happy relationship now.

>>18457731
The assfucking hurts tho.

>>18457747
Thought you weren't into anal.

I hate these confusing feelings I feel. I hate that I know you miss me and still care but I can't let you into my life because you hurt me when you were with me and I was so blinded by loving you so much that I didnt even see it and now that I do I disgusted and so full of hatred towards you. So I don't know why you're still in my head and I don't know why you won't just go away when it's obvious I don't want you anymore. So I don't know why I still have a soft spot for you. I don't know why I miss telling you I love you and I don't know why I miss your idiotic head on my shoulders.I hate you and I don't want to forgive you but I also do want to forgive you and let it all go but you've acted in ways where it would make no logical sense to forgive you. You unadded me on everything so why do you yourself continue to contact me and talk about me when you say you don't want anyone to talk about me anymore. And why do you text me when you're completely out of my head? You're pathetic and weak and I'm ashamed I was even with you now. You've ruined all the moments we had together and you almost ruined me. You should get help for yourself because you're delusional and you have no concept of thinking logically. But of course you won't follow through with that because you're also a coward. Maybe one day in the future when you've actually changed I'll be able to fully forgive you and talk to you but I really can't even if I accepted your apology. I don't count on it though.

>>18457505

Anon, it's not courage. If I was a braver man, she wouldn't have left me, although, if I was a braver man, I'd have told her to leave myself.

It's more...she's engineered the situation to a tee. I can't win. Choosing not to play is my best choice, and if courage is a factor here at all, then it's the courage to believe I'm worth being happy without her, maybe even with someone else.

It's not wrong to struggle about getting over someone though. It's hard. It takes time (my situation ended entirely in December last year for example.) You aren't weak for struggling. You will learn to stand back up.

>>18456531

tfw unironically I've been checking this band out recently after a recommendation from a friend.

This song is great too, I'm gonna listen to an album or two of them tomorrow. Thanks anon!

My girlfriend abused me physically and emotionally for over a year while I lived with her. Wouldn't let me leave the apartment at times. Secretly monitored my Facebook by using an old phone of mine. Broke many pieces of my clothing when she decided she wanted to scuffle. Broke my phone - twice. Got extremely upset over tiny things like being 10 minutes later than I said I would be etc.

Every time some shit went down she'd be all tender and apologetic and I was too nice to put my foot down. I've had anxiety and depression spiral out of control and finally yesterday I packed my bag with the essentials, literally had to push her away from sitting in front of the only entrance to our apartment to stop me leaving and just ran. She attacked me and broke my phone as I escaped. It was 11pm so I had to walk around 8km to my parents house where I am now. My entire family is on holiday so its just an empty house. All my closest friends are also conveniently overseas etc. due to uni holidays. Feel so pathetic and hurt. Suffering rn lads.

You're right, you've always been right about me. I feel devoid of life, a burden to myself and a challenge to others. Today Ieave the empty bullshit behind.

>>18456162
Become the national leader of a country with a nuclear stockpile so that you can start a nuclear war and end mankind

I don't know why everyone think the lines from my wrist to my inner elbow are suicide lines. They're not. To me, they're just me taking out all my anger and frustration on myself, rather going on a stabbing spree. I imagine that a stabbing spree would be fun, but the consequences would be way too much for my tiny brain to handle. So by that logic... I think it's better to see the blood run down myself, than on someone else.

I really want to get fired

I really want to take a break from working

I keep doing just barely enough to get by at my job, and I hope eventually it will lead to me getting fired.

>work alone
>just have to send reports to boss once in awhile
>he'll check in once a month or so, but I just tell him everything is going great
>really don't feel like I can do job anymore, just so unmotivated
>would rather be home jerking off right now desu

>>18456083
>>18456105
>>18456643
Callous neurotypicals who lack empathy for anyone who isn't like them detected.

Our life experiences lead us to being the people we are. Be grateful that yours have left you with the luxury of outcasting people who are different from you.

>>18458233
Crazy bipolar bitch detected

>>18458239
>Be grateful that yours have left you with the luxury of outcasting people who are different from you.

>>18458243
>Crazy bipolar bitch detected

>>18458252
Not sure how that statement makes me any of those things.

>>18458263
Nothing is wrong with being borderline if you recognize you have it and mitigate the negative aspects of it, however most people who are borderline don't bother and give literally zero fucks about their partners.

It is psycho bitch tier to think that, that aspect of the diagnoses is okay to treat someone.

>>18458272
Or they only appear to be that way, because their desperate pleadings to be understood are counteracted by later contradicted by other less rational actions, and are assumed to be lies, because a sane person behaves more cohesively, and a sane person who doesn't is only actively trying to manipulate someone else.

People who judge BPD-types too often try to put themselves in their shoes. I think there's a fundamental difference between how they see the world.

I agree, though. Someone who has BPD and comes into awareness of how much it impacts others is obligated to mitigate how much they can impact others in the future. But the persecution of them is equally as delusional as their own behaviors.

>>18458289
*counteracted by or later contradicted by

I feel like one day my sister is gonna fucking stab me in one of her random anger episodes; but everybody is just going to forgive her because she's mentally retarded.

I don't do something, it's terrible of me and all the consequences are my fault. I do something and it was obviously the wrong choice and they could've done better. Get me out of this fucking place and away from these people already. I'm tired of being associated with her and half of this family. I've already lowkey expressed multiple times I do not want to take care of her when I get older for legitimate reasons, such as the fear of being actually murdered in my sleep, but what do they all say?
"Why don't you love your sister?!! She's your twin!"

Existence is suffering when I'm reminded of this.

>>18458289
And, ironically, persecution only increases a recovering BPD's likelihood of falling back into BPD behavioral patterns, because BPD as a disorder is a basically a group of very faulty defense mechanisms, often against the alienation that comes from persecution to begin with. You all don't know what you're talking about, and again, come from a place where you have the luxury to pass judgment against people who don't have the faculties to accurately judge anything at all. It's insensitive and ultimately ignorant. They have no right, and neither do you.

Sorry for whatever happened to you.

I never knew how it feels like to have a best friend and the thought of it poked me various times on why I will remain that way if I stayed true to myself.Either that or I'll have to fake myself so hard that I wont recognize myself. I'm afraid I will resort to lying in order to even have a trusted buddy. I would be okay to blend in with the crowd but when it comes to one on one relationships, I'd be kidding if I ever say I have one that's good and deep.

I don't know how should I change others perspective on me and I don't intend to.

I might as well be left alone.

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Ive posted this in another thread but im not sure if it might be dead.

So here. Is a relationship with a 5year older girl something realistic? I am 21 and she is 26, which is kind of an age where women start thinking more about serious relationships and possibly marriage. And I am afraid that I would be seen as a joke partner (and therefore she wouldnt even agree to a relationship) despite the fact that i am totally into serious relationships. .... there is no problem with bonding because we like each other.

Sorry for the bad english.

>>18457075
initials

>>18458342
>>18458289
Stop defending people with BPD. They are almost universally shit, and they are so shit that they even won't acknowledge it. They know they are insane but still attempt to date and fuck up lives of countless normal people. They are horrible partners and abusive parents, and clingy as fuck too, so you can't get rid of them. I wouldn't mind if they just kept themselves isolated, but they masquerade themselves into normal people, lure decent and caring partners and milk them till there is nothing left.

My friend married a BPD slut, she cheated on him with a half of dozen of guys, then begged him not to dump her, stopped taking the pill, tricked him into getting her pregnant, then when their daughter was born she refused to even look at her not to mention nurse her. When the kid waa two she literally kidapped her and left a letter in which she threatened her husband that she will accuse him of domestic violence if he tries to pursue her. After seven years of putting up with this crazy my friend commited suicide, and she is still fine, fucking guys left and right and ruining her new boyfriend's life.

I don't care if they can't control themselves or if their brain makes them crazy, they should never be trusted and never excused for their horrible actions.

>>18457523
They probably didn't expect a question when asking a dog's name.

Also,answering a question with a question especially to old folks is kinda disrespectful to a certain extent although its kinda their fault for reacting so pissy

>>18458342
From someone with BPD, thank you.
Both for being empathetic and understanding. But also for standing up to others that obviously don't understand or want to understand.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

really? you're telling me to stop harassing people?

FUCKING REALLY

REAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY

>>18457756
He's different.. from you. I can't resist

>>18458495
What makes him so different? Is it a size difference or girth? I've been using tails and plugs but I still don't much care for anal

>>18458495
What did I do wrong back when we were still seeing one another? Why was I not good enough?

I'm tired of making an effort. Everything is fucking random. The results don't make the effort worth it.

>>18458233
>cutting off people who emotionally abuse you makes you a bad person
Fuck off

>>18458615
When did I say that?
You fuck off, buddy.

I want to settle down and start a family with anyone who can keep my obsessed ex's away. Someone they know to avoid. I wonder how we'll meet

>>18458662
Care to share your story?

You wanted to lie to me, believe her bullshit and let her get away with what she was doing. Sorry man, miss me all you want we'll never be hanging out again.

As far as my room mates, notice to vacate is going in on the 30th. Sorry, but you were assholes, I've given you enough chances to come clean, and if I stay any longer I'm gonna be fucked. Gotta look out for myself before I can look out for others. Not that I'm going to be having others to look out for.

The situation is fucked and hopeless and I'm just doing what I gotta do cause I'm not filing chapter 7 or 13 over this shit.

>>18456055
I unintentionally whisper "I'm dead" to myself, whenever an uncomfortable memory comes up, since like 3 years. This habit lessened i guess. But i still sometimes whipser creepy things to myself. Also i often say "Shut up" or "fuck". It would be a chilling thing, if i wouldnt be so numbed down. Just mildly interested asking myself sometimes what the reason/source for this is.

I wonder how many people in my generation are going to have cancer because of meat.

>>18458415
Yes.

Fuck you, I finally succumbed to using tinder and all my matches remind me of you, they all seem like great guys but I can't stop thinking about your sorry ass. I keep thinking of how we met up a few months ago. Having you in my arms and admitting that we still cared for each other. I want those better days with you.I wish you were selfish and asked me to wait for 2.0 you or at least tell me you're fucking someone else so I don't feel this stupid for still wanting you.
p.s. I know you told me I was the best thing to ever happen to you and although I will never have the guts to tell you in person, you were the best thing to ever happen to me too.

I FEEL AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEESSOOOOOOOOOOOME

>>18458946
Why do you feel awesome anon?

>>18458156
Just quit and go, you have no obligation to work for them and you work for someone because you want to work with them.

>>18458535
Calling me mommy... That time.. didn't help.

>>18458741
the deepest of hypocrisies.

Can you truly fault me for telling the world to fuck off after the world has been literally trying to kill me my entire fucking life?

Also, it's not my fault they are fucking stupid. Maybe if people don't want to be called stupid they should stop being fucking stupid.

You lied to me. That is the most despicable thing. We were lovers, you were traitorous, and for that I can't forgive you. So much of my time wasted, even after I told you that I don't have much longer. Now the sickness has hit me stronger and I have come closer to death.

I will not lament the time of mine you wasted. I will not forgive you, and I also will not hate you. But I don't love you anymore, and I stopped missing you a while ago.

Since you won't allow me to tell you this myself and you've severed yourself from our mutual friends, I'm posting this here. You won't see it. If you do, don't bother contacting me again. I have lost enough of my life to you.

Let these be the last thoughts of you which come to me, and these the last words I write for you. Fare thee well.

>>18458727
Everyone gets cancer eventually.

>>18459044
>Can you truly fault me for telling the world to fuck off after the world has been literally trying to kill me my entire fucking life?
Anon, I don't know you and I'm not that anon. There are billions of people on this planet who not only don't know you, but don't know to fuck with you. Be glad they don't know about you, because you sound like a cunt.

>>18459057
You know, maybe they aren't on this specific planet.

Wait, no they fucking are and they do know me. They live inside my mind and watch the world through my eyes while the Gods try to slaughter me.

Lol, "stop"

FUCK YOURSELF FAGGOTS.
I
DO
NOT
TRUST
YOU

and yeah, you know I'm not going to stop. You fucking do things after the fact planned knowing I wasn't going to.

You tell me to stop so it looks like I'm rebelling knowing I'm going to rebel. So people can see me spit in the face of authority,

Everyone loves the underdog.

I am not an underdog. I'm a fucking pawn and you took everything from me.

>>18458997
Because no matter how low things go down. The universe will set my life in motion upwards. :)

LET GO
JUST DON'T LET GO
DO IT
DON'T QUIT

Fuckkkkkkk yoooouuuuuuuuu.
I do what I want whenever I want.

>>18459028
But.. I want to get NEET bux on unemployment benefits.

I'm trying to get fired on 'good terms'

>>18459081
Keep it going

>>18459037
You're not that Abbie then, I never called her mommy.

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No one ever listens to me. If there are two other people in a room, those two people will talk to each other and completely ignore me. If I speak up they look at me like I'm some kind of weirdo and sneer at me. Its getting to the point where I don't even bother talking anymore and no one even notices. I feel like a ghost. Some days I just wish I could disappear.

I'm frustrated. I deleted your number. No more contacting you. I've been dealing with some health stuff, kind of declining. So I've been pretty on edge despite trying to be positive. I've always annoyed you though. Not sure why we still try to be friends. So desperate, so pathetic. Until recently you never took any interest in my life, it seems I endured your neglect long enough for you to notice, if only a tiny bit. Also you have been lonely and I make you feel good about yourself because I love you. I knew you the first time I met you, I bet you don't remember. I have often wondered if you were my spouse or something in a past life. Why am I so drawn to you? I would love to learn your softer romantic side, part of me already knows what's there. It's a shame it won't ever happen. Unrequited love. I need to move on. Thing is, at one point I felt like I had. Until you showed up here and knocked me for a loop. Anyway, I'm sure I'll hear from you at some point. Until then.

Never been so excited to dump someone. I know your ex is going to offer you a room on Thursday, and, bitch, your ass is going to be excised from life. Go be someone else's problem.

Thank you God for making her ex dumber than me. Sorry, mang, that's your shit again, I'm not having it and you know it's going somewhere.

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>>18459367
>a girl will never feel this strongly about you

Being used as a human dildo and being dropped as soon as someone who's actually relationship material comes along is fucking depressing.

I'm sorry. I totally understand I'm using you as an emotional tampon. I know I'm doing it, I know I'm probably stringing you along because I know you're the only person in the world that loves me and genuinely cares about me. I wish I could return those feelings. Lord knows I tried to force myself to do it.
You're the only thing keeping me alive right now though. I need to continue using you, I'm just not stable enough to let go. I think you know that too, and that's why you humor me even if it hurts you. I don't even know if it actually hurts you or not, but I'm too afraid to ask.

I'm a cunt.
I don't deserve your friendship
I certainly don't deserve your companionship
You don't deserve what I'm doing with you.
I'll never expect you to forgive me, or understand why I'm like this.
I'll never be able to repay you for being my crutch for this long.
I'm just so broken, and this sounds like an excuse, but it's not. I have no excuse for this, other than I would literally have killed myself years ago if you hadn't been there for me. If you hadn't saved me. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of dying, of being alone. I need you just a little bit more. I'm sorry I'm such a cunt. I'll never deserve the happiness I'm seeking out, but I'll selfishly continue to pray I'll get it anyway.

My ex left me so confused

She thought I used her but I never did
She said I manipulated her but I swear on my life I didn't
I loved her
And she just left me out of nowhere
Just sent me a text telling me she was sick of being used and that was that
She didn't even let me show her how much she meant to me
She said that because of what happened she was in therapy
She said she wasn't happy
She said she wasn't herself and she couldn't have anything close to a relationship
Then not even a month later she got a new guy
I'm so lost and confused by all of this
I know she had depression and anxiety really bad but still I have no idea what to make from all this

She ghosted me and we haven't talked in a long time
It's just under 2 months from when she ended it all
I'm just confused
I only ever wanted to make her happy

If anyone has any advice it would mean a lot because i just feel lost

>>18459418
Initials?

My ex stalked me on social media last year after breaking up with his girlfriend and then messaged me to try and talk to me. It was desperate and pathetic and desu, pretty creepy. I replied for entertainment. I didn't actually care about him, and I was going to just ignore and block. But I replied to see what he was going to say, and it did give me a good laugh. He broke up with his girlfriend and proceeded to check my social media and it's so so sad that he is still hung up on me after all this time. I feel absolutely nothing for him and I want him to just move the fuck on and get over it already. I feel bad for any girl he is going to be with because she is not me and never will live up to me, as big headed as that sounds. I know he still wants me and regrets our break up. But that's too bad, if you truly love someone treat them well and don't take them for granted.

>>18459404
Why aren't you relationship material? You don't want a crazy girl being obsessed with you. I promise you aren't missing out at all. And don't settle for someone who feels like they're settling by going with you.

>>18459441
His are KJ

>>18459453
I don't know, she was happy to be fuckbuddies for 7 months, we'd cuddle, talk a lot, she took me out for food once and cooked for us a couple of other times.
Guess I'm just not alpha enough or too boring to get a girl to actually settle with me. She probably thought I was weird for never having a proper relationship at the age of 21. The other guy was probably more dominant and she liked that.

After three months of unemployment and hating myself, I suddenly get 3 stellar interviews all in one week.

Any one of these jobs would substantially upgrade my life to "YOU ARE A REAL ADULT AND BREAD WINNER"

I'm really happy right now, but if I don't get any of these jobs, then basically gg no re I'm killing myself.

>>18459457
And yours?

>>18459457
Darn, I was looking for his to start with an R.

>>18459549
idk why you'd want to be in his shoes.

>>18459418
>>18459629
What do you think would make you genuinely happy?

>>18459629
Long story. But that sounds like something someone is know would say. Someone I love dearly, and whom I want to be with. If they said that, I would understand why they did what they did. Though I wish they felt for me. Recently I purposely have been getting on their nerves to make them hate me so they could be happy by forgetting me.

I have failed my father who I have looked up to all my life. I debate whether I should end my life before I fuck it up even more.

I want you to stay with me, I don't want you to leave
I'm sure you wont be returning with your ex, or maybe you do, but I know you have feelings for me
Fuck distance and fuck everything
Why the fuck a girl confessing her love for me makes me feel worse than not knowing anything?
I could be your fucking boyfriend, but circunstances are fucking shit, and I hope in a near future this changes
Or at least we find a way to overcome them

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>>18459645
Honor your father by committing Sodoku.

>>18459631
Being able to love someone that loves me back. That's it. That's all I want out of life.
Or, I guess my ex coming back to me. Even though he didn't love me and treated me like garbage, I loved him more than I think I'll ever be able to love anyone else again. Because I'm garbage. I don't know why I can love him with so much passion, but not my friend.

I probably deserve every ounce of torment I'm in.

>>18459430
All you can do is give her time and space and improve yourself in the meantime.

My previous partner led me to seek therapy and now I'm feeling a lot better but in hindsight he did manipulate and use me by taking advantage of my kindness and generosity while talking with his ex girlfriend who lives out of the country. At least you didn't do anything that damaging (I hope) because I imagine that's tough to live with.

>>18459695
Did your ex break up with you on Valentine's?

>>18456066
Heard that.

My last girlfriend was borderline, we broke up 3 years ago, I'm still a complete wreck over it.

And the thing is, when things are good, they feel greater than they ever have in your life, like they are the most perfect person you'll ever meet.

That's what my ex was to me until the day we broke up when she just completely snapped.

I still don't think anyone will ever replace what she was to me.

If you ever sing Eagles like that again, I will hit you in the kidney, I swear to god.

You're only ever allowed to sing Abracadabra because coming from you, I will genuinely laugh my ass off. Anything else will piss me off.

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>>18459732
no, a few months shy of our anniversary though. He met someone else who was more attractive and I was just for practice anyway.
He broke up with me and within the hour was posting pictures online of him kissing his new gf.

>>18456107
BPD women are generally very attractive. Their sweetness is genuine and they make love with their whole heart. Date a basic bitch afterward and you'll feel the loss.

I'm sick and tired of women's attitudes towards men.

I can stumble upon some article about how men are treated today and see in the comments "Nah, this is just getting even" and shit like that.

I thought we were supposed to be moving past that. But it's becoming clear that equality was a big fat fucking lie.Perhaps it's simply oppress or be oppressed.

Perhaps they'd understand that men weren't just lazing about in the past living it up if we dragged their sorry asses into war with each other, made them kill each other or die for treason drafting their fucked up cunt ass attitudes.

I'm so glad women in my generation are out-earning me. They'll never see their family court golem coming for them.

When they're committing suicide by the dozen, grinded up by that thing, I'll say "woman up and deal with it", with the biggest shit eating grin on my face.

We'll only ever see true equality by dragging them a thousand miles in our feet. Draft them, make them work the mines, make them disposable.
Fight for equality where it matters, with equal workplace deaths and injuries.

You don't want to move past history, you don't want to forget?
Then neither will I you cowardly fucks.

Shit, you're all so cowardly you'd rather let an invading army in than dare defend yourselves. Shit, this is why feminist countries (sweden, and even India - back in the 70's) develop rape problems.
If you can't send men off to die for you, you'll just cower and let whoever take over and take what they fucking want.

>>18459775
Oh my god yes it's completely true

I'm glad I came into this, I thought I was being crazy about my ex but apparently this is like...the common experience when it comes to borderline relationships

:(

>>18459806
Was yours abusive too ?

>>18458289
Borderline Personality Disorder: kind and charming people with excessive empathy who were usually abused as children. Almost never kill anyone, but are frequently suicidal.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: phony, superficial, arrogant people with no empathy for anyone. Have been known to commit murder and drive people to suicide.
Choose one.

>>18459815
Not during our relationship no. She was actually as close to perfect as could be the entire time we were together.

After we broke up, absolutely yes. She's reached out to me before for emotional support and then abused the shit out of me after she was done with me.

>>18459826
borderline's kill a lot of people, they just insist they didn't mean it and should be treated as chief mourner after. they tend to hold kids hostage or failing having children to threaten, threaten suicide to themselves more, but they still kill a lot of people between attempts to kill themselves.

most females will never be diagnosed as narcissists, just like most males won't be diagnosed as borderline. the more defining difference between the two is that borderlines have no sense of self, while narcissists have a false self they're desperate to defend. narcissists have continuity in their assumed identity where borderlines do not. if you leave a borderline without a boyfriend, she'll turn into a narcissist, otherwise she'll just absolutely love/hate whatever her new bf does.

>tfw my ipod's lock switch has finally been unlocked after a splash in the rain nearly killed it.
Words cannot describe the joy that now resides within my black, broken, cold, saddened heart.

I have been revitalized in a way that only slumbering giants who slowly awaken would match my feelings.

>>18459826
>people with excessive empathy
That's literally the opposite of a borderline. If you meant "fake" empathy, just say that instead. Having empathy for other people means you wouldn't hurt them in the first place knowing how it feels to be hurt themselves and being able to recognize their actions are hurting others.

Borderlines can't do that.

>>18459840
This is an interesting theory. However, I consider the lack of true empathy to be the defining characteristic of a narcissist. Borderlines feel torturous empathy and "not having a boyfriend" will not change that. Also, borderlines can be helped through certain kinds of therapy whereas narcissist/sociopaths are notoriously immune to psychological treatment.

I'm super sick of this shit.

No, I will not be quite. No, I will not "stop" rambling. You are not good people. You are not the good side. You would have ended this a long time ago if that was the case. This is all purely out of your own greed.

>>18459884
since when does "feeling bad" mean empathy?

The danger of a borderline is that they do bad things thinking they are bad people so it doesn't matter. SO when bad things happen to them or when they do something bad they don't feel any guilt. It's just "who they are."

They do not feel empathy. Empathy is a "before" emotion, "guilt" is an after.

>>18459899
I know i got a bit mixed up there because it's a really shitty thing but.... yeah.

>>18459884
narcissists have more empathy, if we're being technical. so do sociopaths and borderlines. they're dramatic because they can conjure greater intensity of feelings than others, and empathy is just your ability to tell your interlocuter's pressure points, not the desire to not push them. outside of psychology, it means compassion and not pushing those buttons, but both narcissists and borderlines are just as good at superficial charm and telling what the other person is feeling, just their more intense feelings seem to matter to them more.

the outside psychology meaning of empathy doesn't apply to borderlines. they don't actually take better care to not push other people's buttons or feel the pain of the world with greater compassion, they just feel their own and others emotions more intensely, and their own emotions are also often the winner in those battles. the difference is that a borderline can be really empathetic to the packers injury list one day, and change boyfriends and hope the quarterback's knee stays permanently busted, and she will love both boyfriends as much in the moment and accuse them both of abuse when they get tired of her shit. the narcissist wouldn't hook up with someone who didn't know the packers were great despite their scores and injuries.

>>18459912
>not the desire to not push them. outside of psychology
you're thinking of sympathy anon.

FWIW, I've had a therapist try to diagnose me as borderline before. She was a hack and terrible at her job, but desu there are things about borderline personality that I can heavily identify with and I sort of believed it for a while, and me and my ex did have a ton in common.


And I feel so much empathy at times I hate myself for it

>>18459921
no, i'm thinking of empathy, the technical term in psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience. you're thinking of a kundera book you read in high school.

>>18459930
perhaps you should do some more reading as you don't know fuck all of what you're talking about.

>>18459930
Holy shit you're dumb.

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I'm always scared of being wrong.

Because anything I write, is not right.

It's most likely wrong.

So I don't take any steps anywhere,
out of the fear of being wrong.

>>18459941
that cluster is especially interesting to people who study empathy.

for instance, the more ASPD someone is the easier they can pick a former victim of violence out of a crowd by their walk. they are better at it than trauma counselors, or pretty much anyone else who doesn't have their high powered strain of empathy. now, what they use that for is a different matter and highly unempathetic, but what makes these people good at finding victims is they have empathy, and far more of it than normal. they just also suffer empathy overload or breakdowns more often too. so while the socio can pick every rape victim out of the social mixer crowd, which nobody else can do, what they do with that information often falls into the empathy breakdown territory where while they are aware of what they're doing to do emotionally, they don't care.

it's a meme in psych subjects that we should change the name because most of the empathetic people are such dicks to everyone they meet, but yeah, empathy still means that.

more empathy in borderlines usually involves them being able to be upset at you for bringing up the childhood abuse you never brought up but now have to apologize for because you would apologize at anyone yelling about that. it would be unkind to rape victims after all, let alone the fact they're hoping you enable their victimization. more empathy in sociopaths means they usually have a cute lure or feign distress because you wouldn't let down your guard either. more empathy in narcissists means they'll find out what about your identity corresponds to their wound, and since they're mostly male, that normally means your job or wife. all of that's empathy though- being able to tell what the other person would feel.

>>18456055
it's been the same fucking shit for over 7 months now. "Oh it's going to be over soooonnn." "live your life as if it were a fantasy!"

I can't do fucking shit. You know why, I've said it a thousand fucking times.

Just fucking end it already. I'm not going to play along. I'm not going to be a king. I'm not going to do anything but stay in my house and tell everyone to fuck off.

end
This
shit

Or fucking kill me.

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>>18459972
You can't learn how to get it right until you let yourself get it wrong.

>>18459972
Really? Maybe it's because you faggots have designed it that way? That it's literally impossible for me to get the "right" answer out of your design and I know it.

There is no fear here, only annoyance.

>>18459992
Don't spread your shit to someone completely unprovoked.

>>18459982
>what they're doing to do emotionally
doing to you emotionally
>>18459944
you can check the textbooks for the psych definitions (and some neat neuro areas of interest) or the unbearable lightness of being for the comparison anon is trying to make which would only make sense outside psych. the researchers don't mean they're studying sympathy centers either when they say empathy before you want to call them dumb too.

Im a socially insecure and depressed guy with no current prospects and a serious drug addiction .

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>>18459985
Thank you anon, I know that advice, I even give it to my younger sibling, I have a hard time taking it myself though.
I'll try and fail harder.
>>18459992
What are you annoyed about? The design of language??

If yes, I kind of agree with that sometimes, I wish I knew all the words.

I tell my ex we should stop talking to each other and holy fuck the guilt tripping. Amazing how someone can tell you, at the same time:
- What a horrible partner you were
- How much they NEED to date you again

You did it, you messed with my head! It ended with him blocking me without saying anything. Which bothers me but, whatever. I was telling him to please discuss it with his friends, family or a psychologist. So I guess it was an "OK fine!" or something.

I'm just tired of being responsible for his happiness. How can anyone try to cheat on you and then demand another chance (after a second and third chance, mind you). Like... let me live. Please. I'm already over you.
Hopefully by tomorrow I'll forget about this. I'm planning to ask a guy on a date and the last thing I need is my ex's words on my head.

>>18457874
This really hit me hard. I hope you can move out and be away from her. You deserve better. Nobody should be treated like that.

I never loved you, I was just lonely. After the breakup I just felt sorry for myself and angry. You're a pretty disgusting person and there's a reason no one likes you.

H,

Consider this my apology and confession. I knew the writing was on the wall for us as soon as you slept with S, as soon as you did that I knew you'd have to choose between him or me and I knew all along you'd choose him. I have purposely been getting under your skin and starting fights with you to piss you off for the last three weeks or so in order to push you farther away from me and closer to S. The reason I have been doing this is because that choice was a death sentence for me, and I wanted you to no longer feel for me so you wouldn't take on that eventual guilt. I'd say I was successful, you no longer want to visit me and you blocked me with no sign of unblocking me. Normally I would just bottle up my feelings as your burden was always already too great, but I let them out in pissing matches to upset you. I am sorry I have been so cruel to you lately, but I had to in order to push you away from what is about to happen.
The last time I visited you was honestly the only happy moment in my life, thank you for giving my life meaning. I will always love you and I hope you two are happy together and he gives you the love I wanted to give to you. Maybe I have been an idiot and you will give me an earful for all this, but I doubt it because you don't use this board. I hope maybe someday in another life this broken person can spend more time with you.

Love,
R

>>18460075
Back at you ;)

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I think I'm losing my sanity , even if that sounds kinda edgy
The last days I've been thinking about suicide every night , a peaceful one , nearly every night I lay in my bed , play my favorite album and cry to my sleep while I feel pain in my chest
Everyday I fantasize about having a friend , or someone , since some days a psychologist is going to my house two days a week and it's making me even more sad , seeing how she tries to take me out of my house or simply having a conversation with me , without success.

I'm really , really waiting to die right now , I don't have studies for any job either I have motivation to study , I don't have any friends , and I don't even know who I am anymore

s,

I hope you're doing okay. From what I can see it looks like you're resorting to old habits again, and I feel responsible for that. I'm sorry things didn't turn out like we had planned. the longer we let this go on, the more we were bound to hurt each other. We're both at fault for how things ended. One day maybe we can meet again once we've both grown up and figured out our lives.

>>18460111
I will try reaching out to you one last time I suppose just in case I have been an idiot, maybe we can still be friends after all this. But I doubt it given how badly I have been.

I don't have anything.
My family is tangential
I'm just a secondary or tertiary friend to people
I don't even have an ethnic or national identity. I'm a half-breed.

I'm just... Floating through life without anything to tie me down

It makes me hateful of everyone else who has roots and ties to places
You can relocate me across the globe and I'd be the same person.
Anyone who can't do that within a day disgusts me.

>>18460075
I'm ok with that.

>>18460225
Get a soda a go watch the sunset
If you have money and a comfy place to live , I don't see the problem of being alone , at the end , you eventually will find someone or something that will make you feel better , it's just a question of time

Anon , please learn to live with yourself without depending of someone for happiness
Learn to enjoy the small things , learn to breath the air , learn to see where the true beauty is
I hope you get better soon , Anon

I'm listening to this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzKFEx-wsJo) and it's making me think about you. Cheers, darling.

>>18460252
>Learn to enjoy the small things , learn to breath the air , learn to see where the true beauty is
This is how I've learned to live for the last 10 years.

I'm 30 years old. I'm not a fucking kid who is going through a god damned teenage crisis. What I feel now, I'm going to have to live with until I die.

My pop told me when I was young that every day I should find something beautiful to appreciate. And that's helped me

I have carved out a sort of happiness in my life
But sometimes, like today, I get feelings about how I wish I didn't have to be me.

I wish I were a normal white kid from a normal suburban family.

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I don't feel like I deserve the career I was hired for. I'm forgetful and I'll never be good enough. I'm terrified I'll fail and nobody will tell me I'm failing because I appear too weak to criticize. I'm engaged to someone with a promising career. I want to quit and move to another country and live on a small sustainable farm away from everyone and everything I know. I want to give up on a "perfect" life I've spent years working for. I won't do it though. I'm a coward.

>>18460292
I've said this before and I'll say it again.

There are no monsters in my head.
You will find only me, Everything in there makes up who I am and that's just the way it is.

>>18460292
You got what they call "Impostor Syndrome"
The fact that they have a name for it means that you are not alone for feeling it

Everyone goes through it the first few weeks at a new job
It's abut leaving your comfort zone.

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tfw found out im just the practice gf while he's ldr for a girl who lives a few states away who he has plans to move to with after college.


long story short i find out from his video gaming friends that he has been referring me as his practice gf ever since he met me and says to keep it a secret that he told me.

psychologically i've moved on but emotionally i havent which is putting me in a depressive state where im sad but for some reason i can't cry, contributed to this being my first ever relationship since ive only started dating this year in my entire life.

i don't really need advice since i'll get over it eventually but i'd like to vent.

>>18460407
You're a youngfag, therefore I hate you

Now that's aside, no one likes to be used.
My favourite book is the Sirens of Titan. It's about being used.

Try the series, the Leftovers. It's also about being used.

That gif is beautiful btw

>>18460407
Dump him you idiot

WTF do you even want?!
You tell me "go get a job, do something on your vacations". Then I apply for stuff and you're all "do you even know how to anything? do you know how to do this or that??"
Well, i'm sorry if i'm not some lucky fucker like you 2 who always had people to give you jobs.

What the fuck B.

Stop making everything a competition

I just want to be with you

>>18460551
Woman, stop thinking that competition is repulsion

I'm still in a race for his heart. I want to fucking die. Every part of me aches for him.

I'm not the race of my father
I'm not the race of my mother

This has fucked me up

>>18460612
Let him chase you. Fall back

man, I'm not doing that shit again. I did a shit ton of work today and feel like I got nothing done. I'm exhausted and I'm not proud of the work I did today. like today was dog shit and no one seems to have really understood why I wasn't happy about this. I'm trying to run and the business is trying to lackadaisically walk around surviving on random chance. let me do what you hired me to do ffs. tomorrow, I'm not going to tell you but that's what I'll be doing. I'm delegating to the team like a motherfucker tomorrow.

also, like you just reset all the work we did over the last few weeks and took all the prep I had done to make this team more productive and make the productivity idiot proof and just fucked it all up.

JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP SENPAI, DAMN.

you all told me I'd have actual latitude in this position. today, today I was not feeling that and it's going to hurt your bottom line and it's going to hurt my bottom line. what we have right now is what you call in any business a, bad plan. everyone needs to get together, we need to come up with a comprehensive plan moving forward.

I havent masturbated in a few days. My girlfriend also told me recently that she is into kinky stuff. I now think I might be into that sort of stuff amd im so horny right now would consider possible sucking a dick right now. I also stufk a finger
up her butt for the first time and she liked it. The next day i stuck a finger uo my butt and came instantly. but i still love girls.

basically i now think i am a late blooming bisexual/kink and its like having an identity crisis. Relationships are about transparency right? But after 2.5 years she doesnt know i sorta dated this twink boy in highschool (but kept secret). I've told a few people one of whom was a huge lesbian and i had no problem telling. but even though my girlfriend never gives me any reason to believe she'd leave me i feel as if i trry to tell her about that specific time that she'd dump me. I've told her it was 2 girlfriends this whole time . although she never ask for details about my past relationship.

I also think im into things like hardcore bondage (my gf is for sure), very possibly threesomes although i cant come to admit it (she has expressed very mild interest as of recently as a possibility), butt play for both of us and some other things. I feel scared of telling her about amy of this and I feel anxious thinking about telling her even though i want to share with her these things. I've always been so closed off why do i still struggle with being transparent?

>>18460612
>>18460663
Fuck that
Don't "Let him chase you"

If you feel something for someone, do something about it
Shit saying "Let's go for coffee" is a safe fucking entree without commitment of your emotions.

I just want to talk normally with you, but every time I open my mouth I say some stupid, mean, thing to tease you.
It's like I can't think straight around you.
I do the most juvenile, immature things, and then instantly regret it when I come to my senses.

I want to apologize, but I'll probably fuck that up, too.

What's even worse is that I think you actually like me, and I keep doing these dumb things.

>>18460671
stop smoking pot, stop consuming shit with bpa in it, stop drinking tap water, stop annihilating your test levels

THEY'RE TURNING THE FROGS GAY

I can hear you snoring. It's... really cute.

It'd be awkward telling you that though.

>>18460682
Teenage don't worry about teenager things

>>18460696
Fuck your roommate if you can

It's just a temporary thing

I deleted your number. I just want to say sorry for being an asshole for so damn long. Glad you found your motivation. Glad you are happy. I am finally leaving this site, I don't need it anymore. Good luck Anon. I understand it all now, why everything went to shit. I am sorry. After all this time, I'll look back and smile kindly at the fact that you are happy now. It is only after we lose everything that we are free to do anything. Fucking life man. Take care.

>>18460698
I'm almost thirty, man. I'm acting like a teenager and it's ridiculous.
I've crushed pretty hard before, but I've never acted like this.

>>18460702
I wish I could...

>>18456066
I use to date a girl like that
And now I'm dating one again. I'll just never learn.

>>18460672
I've already confessed. I'm in competition for his heart with another girl that likes him. I'm in the lead but he has trouble choosing. If I didn't love him, I'd break it off.

I haven't talked to my friends or family in months. Now it's been long enough that I'm not sure how to get back in contact with them without it being awkward.

>>18460671
My boyfriend allows me to fuck him in the ass (strap on). He really likes it and I do, too. Have you thought of bringing this up to her? It's called pegging by the way but you probably are aware of this.

>>18460773
Confessed what, you weeb bitch?
Stop thinking that the word "confession" means "telling another highschool child that you want to fuck them"

You are you and he is him.
Once that is established, only he can choose from there.

>>18460789
No. I confessed to him 2 months ago after a year of crushing. We've been dating and we get along great. Within the last few days, I've been in competition for his commitment. A girl he went out with before me who was previously unwilling to commit has recently said she wanted a relationship. He's struggling with it and it hurts me. Don't be so jaded, anon.

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I've never had a gf, but I've never truly wanted to "look for one". My current life is in a state were I feel that doing good in school, finding a better job, getting a car etc. are more important. I don't actively think about being lonely and things related to that. I'm sure if I perhaps tried something on a dating app/site or was in the state of mind to find a gf I would eventually do it. I'm sure you've heard that one before. Catch is, I've always thought that if I meet a girl by chance, naturally, and we like each other, of course I'll be down to start something.

But of course there's a catch or I wouldn't be seeking replies from these thread. I don't like how it only takes a cute girl showing some sort of interest in me and here we go with a petty mini-crush. Thinking about said person throughout the day, trying to "unintentionally" impress her, a dream related to having a GF, etc. I hate it. Let me enjoy this cool friendship without any of these romantic feelings, you know? I have to consciously acknowledge thoughts that come up so I "keep my self in-check". Worst part of it is the fact that I say that I truly don't want a gf, it's not one of my priorities, etc., but its just that easy to get myself into a per-semester crush. All in all, I guess its not so bad though. Anyone ever felt similar?

I just want to tell him I like him and would bf within seconds if I could. Idgf he's a weirdo, I want him to be my weirdo. Some other girl will get him soon...

>>18460789
Also we're both adults. How did you get high school or anime out of my post?

My sex life is turning into a nightmare
I've been with my bf for almost 6 years and in the beginning everything was great but now we don't even have sex anymore.
Last week his dick didn't work.He says it's because he's very stressed(
he is also experiencing some problems in his family) and can't relax.
What do you guys thinks? It's my "fault" or this is a good excuse?i'm not sure how to feel about it

>>18460806
Not duder but how you used the word "confessed"

I posted this somewhere before. I really hate my life. I wish I could go back and do things differently.

After highschool, my dad got really sick and I had to visit him in the ICU every day. He was there for almost a year before he passed. After that, I became depressed and literally stayed home for like 2 years doing nothing. Eat, masturbate, sleep, getting fat and repeat. By the time I got out of my funk, looking for a job was hard. I applied at a bunch of places but got nothing. Was awkward at interviews and had an already shitty resume with a huge gap. Even Wal-Mart wouldn't take me and that felt like a huge blow to myself.

My cousin who I hadn't seen in a while convinced me to go to the gym. I accepted cause he got really muscular since I last saw him. After about 2 years of lifting, I started to feel more confident. I was still big cause I didn't do much cardio but I didn't look like I was gonna end up on My 600lb Life I became way stronger and didn't get tired easily.

Went to a temp agency and got an alright warehouse assignment. It was consistently Tuesday to Saturday and barely above minimum wage. Didn't complain cause I literally had no job experience. Starting making money. Started paying rent, my mom back for the gym membership fees she paid for me in the past, treating her and other family out and just buying my own shit. Things started feeling alright. Felt like I was finally living a life.

After about 7 months, the company didn't want me to hire me or have me continue through the temp agency. The agency couldn't find me any assignments. I thought I could find a job on my own but most place want at least 1 year of warehouse experience and I'm below that. I wasn't too smart with my money and didn't save up much. It's been 3 months and I'm still unemployed.

Next week, I'm turning 27. No friends, no job, no money, no college or university education, not contributing and putting a strain on my family, still fat even though I lift and never had a gf.

>>18460807
Try something new, mix it up so he doesn't stray, anon.

>>18460811
Fair. I'm feeling awful and sentimental right now. He's being transparent with me, and a little bit ago he told me that she's still trying for him, even though she knows about "us". It's just hard. I'm having lots of feels.

>>18456055
It was fucking cruel that your entire church and family kept your mental illness a secret until after we were married. After that you were a dead weight of negative emotions that sucked the life out of me. To top it off your family then blamed me for your issues when I was nothing but supportive. Divorcing you the second you left was the best thing decision I have ever made in my life. Even with this sometimes a ghost of you emerges with these stories about how I was abusive and ruined your life. I never called you fat, never implied it and thought you were fucking beautiful. I did nothing but support you and the decisions you made. I really wish you would stop playing the victim card because it is really annoying when someone I get to know asks if I was the anon who was married to you because they know you as well.
>You were a great fuck though, you crazy red headed petite bitch and I have to hold back every urge to post all your nudes online.

>>18456055
I have a crush on you...we had sex said I was one of the best you ever had...and yet you don't want to be with me. You want to be with someone else say he makes you feel special. What the difference between me and him...why can't i ever get the girl i want. You like what i do you say i'm great...but i'm not good enough for you apparently, good enough to have sex with on the side but not good enough to start a real relationship. I need to get out of cali and start a new life...

>>18460801
What's stopping you?

>>18460798
>>18460806
The fact that you said "confessed" like it meant something in anime.

In real life, "confessed" means "give up a crime". If you use it to say "I told someone I liked them", it means "I'm a stupid weeb who knows nothing about life".

If he's in "competition" for you, like a fucking harem anime, then it's over.

You are both, apparently, adults.
You are a couple or you're not

If he's like "Ohhh maybe, like she wanted to fuck me before... Jeez, maybe I want her over you..."
I'd tell him to fuck straight off.
Commit or fuck off.
No in between

>>18460836
Fear of rejection and geographical distance between us.

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>>18460844
>geographical distance between us
...oh.

>>18460813
Similar life
Do dishwashing while you learn shit
Or just lie about warehouse experience. The truth is that they can't ever find out you lied.

Or, at least in my city, moving work is amazing. I make 20+ an hour doing moves. It's fucking good work if you aren't a lazy fatty

>>18460852
desu I'm tempted to tell him this anyway, I want him to know what a cool cookie he is

>>18460838
>Commit or fuck off

I honestly agree. It's such bullshit, but I'm putting up with it anyway because of my feelings.

>>18460870
>It's such bullshit, but I'm putting up with it anyway
Yep
Welcome to why everyone feels miserable

>>18460870
You are a beta femal, true rarity.

>I don't mind getting cucked by his ex bc I luuuuv him ^__^

Amazing

>>18456066
I act like your ex-girlfriend anon, been wondering what's wrong with me. Is there any way to change without a psychologist? I'd rather just solve my problems by myself

>>18460878
Oh totally. I get hit on by other guys too, because even being a beta, I'm still a woman...but I reject them all because of this fucking man. The cuckening.

>>18456055
E,

I like you. Like a lot. But this thing we currently have feels all too volatile, and that you really don't care. Like you're a foot already out the door, and I'm there desperately pulling at your shirt. I know I can't offer you much, maybe your past exs have provided you with more emotional stability that I can ever do. But I think about you alot and knowing that everything will not turn out alright in the end is killing me.

I can't stop thinking about those first moments where we were kissing on that stage at night. And you gave off this smile that lit up my heart. I didn't think I could ever feel ever, but something hit me then. You corrupted my mind thereafter, I couldn't get you out of my head. I felt like I was being obsessive over someone I've dated for a week, but I was hooked.

Then you moved away. And I kept in contact with you because I wanted there to be more to the story. It was only a month that you were gone and it was because of our back and forth that I didn't feel alone.

If only you knew how fucking lonely I was, you would probably leave. But that's just how I grew up, I pulled myself out of a rut, but I find myself in another dilemma. That's just how shit goes I guess.

But then you came back and now I'm stuck with this vacancy. And I'm starting to believe more and more that I'm just some random fling to you. And I guess I can't blame you, but damn it hurts thinking that this may be the case.

I'm really hoping it's not because I think you might be the first person in my life that I say,

"I love you."

M

>>18460859
I'm afraid of lying in case they actually do call the company. I've always heard that a job listing will put a 1 year requirement to weed out people who won't apply. I apply anyways but I'm not getting results. I do prefer warehouse because I at least have some experience and I still feel like I can't properly talk to people after being a shut in for so long. I feel like I thrive in solitude if that makes sense.

I don't know if I could every go to university or college. I wasn't exactly a good highschool student and I still can't imagine what I would like to do in the future. I don't have money and I don't want to strain or put stress on my mom/family. I think I'm more so afraid of causing debt or something and wasting time/money still not knowing what to do.

The moving thing sounds interesting. I love heavy lifting at the gym so it could probably translate well. The thing is I don't know how to drive. I don't know if something like that would be interesting in having me.

I know I have a lot of flaws. I seem to make excuses for things. I'm just really disappointed in how my life is. I know kid me or teenage me would be ashamed. I was born in Independence Day want to be more independent but I'm sadly too dependent on people I'm hurting.

>>18460920
>I love heavy lifting at the gym

Me too man.
Try the moving thing if you can. For me. I got in by just a friend telling me an email to ask
A few weeks after I emailed a stupid pathetic message to the boss man, I was doing shifts.
It's most about legs and grip strength.
If you can mount stairs like a boss carrying 20lb boxes for 5 hours, you can be a mover.


But though, between you and me, the real end game is the military. If you don't got a criminal record, and you aren't dying, they'll take you
I'm doing it now.

>21
>unrequited love
>more depression
>shes depressed and im worried
>decide to start working out
Hope i can stick with it and hopefully it can help

>>18461012
Forget her.
Focus on the gym

One of these things will make you happy. And it ain't her.

What's your routine, mate?

>>18460866
look, you're getting digits right now like I get digits, you should tell him.

>tfw only girls that think you're cool is
a whore
a girl that's too young
a girl that if you dated would create a conflict of interest in your job but who you think is most likely to be worth a damn cause of what she says and does and the fact that all of my suave goes out the door when I'm talking to her. if I've got problems talking to a girl, it tends to mean she's got something I'm looking for. like there's always some shit in the way. but she smiled when she noticed me noticing her and I smiled when I noticed her noticing me and honestly she seems kinda like my type.

if I do this, I could be fired. like, fuck, why. why's there always some bullshit between me and women I think are cute and cool?

I wouldn't call what I did today a workout. I did nothing today that I'm proud of or that felt like progress. not a single goddamn thing.

>>18460866
Yo, not>>18461019, but actually>>18460852

It's adorable, but I'm just saying...
Long Distance never works.
That being said, go nuts. I'd like to see how he reacts, honestly.

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The only thing I can do is move on and hope I can find somebody nice. I know that there's no such thing as having only one person out there for you. Of course not. Theres billions of people out there. But I know that I'll never meet anyone like him.

He's the only person that I love so unconditionally. The only one I'd give my life for. The only one that makes me smile so much, that one person that I miss all the time and I never tire of their company. The one that lights up my world when I see him. The one that I can't shut up about. The only person on this planet that I would do anything for if it meant that he will always be smiling and happy and so full of love, even if I can't be the one to give it to him.

I can't keep pining for someone I can't have but the ache feels so deep like I have a piece of my soul missing. I found this poem years ago and I never thought I would meet the person that would make me feel this way about someone like how these beautiful words describe.

Somewhere.... out there in another live, there's a me and a you kissing under the stars again, but this time we are able to say "I love you" to each other and it means 'forever.'

>>18460820
Ah. I understand. Personally if I was in your position I would drop him. If he's switching back and forth between you two it's because he wants his cake and to eat it, too. Ever hear "trust your gut"? Very insightful saying -- what I mean by this is your heart will cause you so much pain, it will translate his words into something sweet but that sweet taste you crave is poison all while your gut is twisting and turning aching for you not to listen and free yourself

>In love with my gf
>dated for years
>planning a life together
>took a nasty break one time when i met another girl
>gf and i are back on track
>happier than ever
>still adore this other girl and we still meet up in secret
>gf will surely never find out

>>18460909
Was in the same position. Get out while you still can. Regroup and focus on yourself. Find a way to distract yourself, new hobby, go out with friends, immerse yourself in vidya, hit the gym or just workout to feel better. You can do better even if you're being a stupid bitch right now it's not too late to be a badass alpha bitch. You got this

>>18459738
Fuck you Eric. Don't pretend that her bp was the problem when you abused the shit out of her.

>>18461043
fucking christ that poem.

>>18461043
>Somewhere.... out there in another live, there's a me and a you kissing under the stars again, but this time we are able to say "I love you" to each other and it means 'forever.'
I'm not satisfied with this being in another life.

Time for a good bit

Where do I even fucking begin, I basically hate everything about my life at this point. All of my best friends have moved away from me and all I'm left with is the most scummy, bland corpses of what was once an actual personality now occupied by conformism and memes that I cannot possibly tolerate. I never thought I could hate my """friends""" this much. They're fucking horrible, and Spencer, wherever you are right now, I unironically hope you get hit by a fucking car and your fat whore ass is euthanized so you can drop it like it's fucking hot in limbo.
Alongside that I need to live this horrible town, this is where I was born and raised but it seems like all the personality that made me love it has dissapeared and everything I know about it is fucking gone. This shitty small town with absolutely no decent women is going to drive me insane if I don't peace the fuck out sometime soon.
And speaking of women, what the fuck was that shit you dumb island Mexican cunt? How on earth could you lead me on for over a fucking YEAR and fully convince me I was in a great mutual love relationship only to shit on me out of nowhere? I know you thinking I liked one of my other friends wasn't the reason you broke up with me you dumb bitch, how fucking stupid do you think I am? I know you never loved me and fuck you for convincing me you did. I've never put my heart, faith and trust into someone so much before only to have it fucking shattered right I front of my own two eyes. Christ, I still try and tell myself you breaking up with me is the reason I'm still single but I know the real reason is because of how shitty this place is and how much it makes me want to (figuratively) kms.
That girl I've known online for years I've started falling for? Lol, kiss one of the only people who haven't left you yet goodbye. I guess she doesn't care for me anymore now that I'm slowly degrading more and more. (1/2)

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?

>>18461262
Sensible, but I can't help but mentally whip my sorry ass for it. I even tried being liberal as fuck with how much I started a conversation but over the past week you just respond less and less and now all the past times I've messaged you first you just fucking ignore me and now you never even message me first anymore. Fucking hell.
The only thing that brings me any fucking joy anymore are my dogs. I love you fuckers and that's more than I can say for anything else in my life. (2/2)

>>18461212
Me neither, but that won't happen in this life so I keep wishing a version of myself is finally happy with the one I love.

You're as odd as they come.
Either you hate my guts or you love them.
You're a revolving door. You either push me aside or you fucking swing me into the building without anyone making the door move. All wind.

When you yelled goodnight and waved to me (caught you for a split second), I was pondering: What the fuck is going on with you when you're suddenly doing that? Silence was what I was accustomed to. You've been fucking quiet for like, a month. Although for like, two weeks, you've caught the throat bug, but I don't count those days.

Also, I was waiting for your dumb ass to move out of my way. See, when I stand still like a deer in headlights, that means move your ass or I'm going to ram straight through people. I'm no fighter, but I'm a mean ramming motherfucker. Don't just ALSO stand there like a retard going " HI! x3".
Like, are you autistic? Legit autism, not the slang autism. Sure, you talk a good talk, but you sure as fuck can't read people when they're hinting/doing things.

I like you, but I also kinda dislike you. I adore you, but wonder all the time how and what you think.

Wish I could see her again. We left off so well before she went away for a few months.
Don't know what happened, but it sucks.

Now for waiting for someone else to walk my way

We didn't know each other for too long but already knew we were meant to be together.

Mistakes were made, her mistakes fueled my mistakes and the distance wasn't helping.

Eventually we split up, it wouldn't work anyway but that doesn't make me feel any better since I don't think I'll find another one like her.

Its not the pain of breaking up, its the pain of knowing nobody will ever match that standard, and if someone will then it'll be extremely hard to find someone like that and it scares me as I'm inexperienced and not your typical Chad, I'm not looking for basic things like sex and it scares me that I won't feel fulfilled ever again.

I hate that when something good happens in my life its either with a catch, or its bound to break sooner rather than later, nothing stays but I keep going for some reason like an idiot, hoping things will turn out for the better one day, I hope they will but lets be honest, how many of us are actually happy with our lives? even in later years...

I miss you Alex, but I'm moving on and i'm happy
I hope your moving on too and that you'll be happy as well
dont let yourself slip, not once
i love you, I'll think of you on canada day

I am arrogant, egoistic and judgemental.
Disgusting.

What kind of asshole wants to ruin fandoms for people? Like are you that fucking sad and depressed in your own life that you feel the need to spoil and shit on stuff that people legally and legitimately enjoy?

"You can just watch it on YouTube"

No, you fucking cunt. If I follow that fucking logic then why would I watch anything? Why would I do anything when I can just spoil myself online?

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I really like you
You're beautiful and I want to get to know you
It doesn't bother me you have a kid
But I'm scared that if we do hit it off...what do I tell my dad? He's racist against black girls.
Please tell me it's okay

>>18461827
Get out

>>18461827
Get in

>>18457138
I just met someone I really like, and I think they like me too, but they are about to move.
You should tell them how you feel at least. I hope you make the right decision, anon.

>>18461827
she has a kid dont fucking do it anon

I wish we still talked. I miss you so much. But I know your life would be easier now without me, so I hope everything is going well. I'm so proud of you. I love you.

I'm sorry about all that I've done to hurt you, but I was never like this before I met you. I never hated myself or wanted to die so much for being me. I was never obsessive and nasty until you came. I'll always love you but please, set me free. Jacob is the name that will haunt me forever.

I don't know how to travel to a future that I can't see.

This fucking shit. "Let it soak in, let it marinade for awhile and it'll go down much easier."

No, it fucking won't.

Besides, who ever said I wanted it easy?

>>18461267
I know you're one of us, so just do it.

>>18461267
man it's all fucked up and annoying. we've got a complete clusterfuck going on here. that's what's going on.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAfuckthisshit get the fuck out of the way god damn it. why are you people such a pain in the ass. by the time you get done with your stupid ass shit there'll be nothing. there will be ash.

I still feel so angry at you. I can't believe you strung me along for so long with no consideration of how I felt the whole time. All you did was say "never again" to avoid taking responsibility for what you've done.

You realize I'm just using you, right? Why the hell would I come to you for anything except sex after what happened? Why would I trust you with an actual relationship?

Women can sense desperation. I fuck you to rid myself of it. I fuck you so I'm relaxed enough to approach better quality women.

She doesnt respond to me after 1st date because I fucked up
I know I will never fix
I just feel like shit and this feeling doesnt go away no matter what I tell myself

>>18460779
I dont think im into pegging but her putting a buttolug in me seems kinda hot. Her fucking me with a strap on is a little too submissive for me and fantasizing about it kills my boner.

We're supposed to be going to Babeland (a sex shop) tonight so i think grabbing one and saying its for me would be a good way to introduce that I'm curious since I hare trouble verbalizing these kinds of things

I was planning on asking him out today but I just found out I'm not going to see him. I only have one last chance on Thursday and I won't get any alone time with him (except like, a second before he says goodbye). Kill me pls.

I mean, I'll go through with it anyway, but it'll be less natural and more awkward than my original plan. I'll just have to hope he likes me enough not to mind I guess.

>>18462318
Try as hard as you can to muster up that courage. You deserve to try your own kinks and indulge in them as you allow her. You got it

Also, butt plugs are a lot of fun. It's neat to go about in public having a small sized one in without people knowing -- kind of a strange rush

I wanna kill myself so all those people who treat me like dirt think about me at least once more
Sadly I will not be able to see their reaction so suicide is pretty much pointless

>>18461530
What happened

I've given up on my dreams, oh how simple are they.

But you must know thy self and thy limitations, I just keep telling myself IT"S OKAY, IT"S OKAY to keep myself from having a panic attack, god I need help, but I don't think I'd have any this lifetime, would it hurt life to just give me a break? god mother fucken damnit I never asked for much, I'd always put people first and my needs last, naively hoping that someone would bestow upon me my needs.

My body is growing weaker by the day, and my mind by the hour.

I'm tired as fucking shit.

Bored as fucking shit.

just fucking end it already.

FUUUUCK I forgot that you have cats! I'm fucking allergic to cats!

Its been 11 girls I tried to develop relationships with
Some ignored right off the bat, some went to a date with me but in the end nothing worked out
Nothing

It's been one month since I got back from college. All my friends have forgotten me. Ive only left my house to go to work. I really miss hanging out with people, but I'm super socially inept. Guess I'll be playing games alone this summer.

ain't gonna do what what what you want me to do
because fuckkkk yoooouuuuuuu

You might as well fucking kill me.

I jerked off 15 times today, each with successful loads.
I never thought I'd ever gain the energy of a fucking fertility god, but this happened.

Man, I might need to get laid or else this becomes a problem, but at the same time...I think it's pretty damn great.

Dear.........
I'm writing this here because you think everything has been fine with our relationship since you brought up possibly wanting to fuck other people in the future even though you originally said you wanted to be exclusive and marry me. I said it's a possibilty to work something out if the need arises. But I can't do it. It's too painful. I understand your needs, and it's not for me. The thought of you with others, possibly getting stds, makes me sick. Perhaps the need will never be that pressing, that is my hope. I am very sexual, I don't mind the porn, maybe that will be enough, seeing as we have a deep emotional bond. If not, then there isn't much else I can do. I'm not willing to suffer endlessly for your sexual desires. It's just not for me, it's too much, the thought of it makes me want to die. I hope it doesn't come to that...but I realize I'm probably deluding myself. If it comes to that, then we will have to break up. I'm just writing this to gather thoughts.

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I'm so confused by you.
So we break up and for months I had wanted to talk things over with you. For months I wanted to sit down and talk like adults, really see what we wanted. You ignored me, ignored my feelings, simply responded with neutral comments. Almost no emotions tied to them. So I said fuck it.
I started to deal with shit on my own, started moving on, and working on my life. I was gonna do better with or without you, but you made it clear it was without. So I stopped caring and started focusing on me.

Now you come back, more than half a year later, telling me that you had been thinking about me, that you missed me? Where was this feeling of missing when I wanted to talk? When I wanted to listen?

When I still cared?

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Modern world fucking disgusts me. I hate this degeneracy so much. It is revolting. Utterly fucking revolting.
Fucking faggots, trannies, sluts and whores, foreigners, pedophile cultists, and kike pushed decadence rots trough the foundations of my beautiful homeland. I am ready to take up arms and remove all this fucking filth right the fuck now.
I hate them so much. They are vilest form of humanity I have ever born witness to and they have lit such a flame of disgust and hate within me that I feel like I am about to explode. These "people" need to fucking go. This is cancer. It is like we are Weimar republic. Fucking foreign subversion of my homeland, corruption, decadence. I do not fucking accept this.

>>18462824
Its time to get your own life and stop worrying about what other 6,999,999,999 people are doing

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>>18462846
When the other people in my country are actively pushing for societal changes that will render my grandchildren into minorities in our fucking ancestral homeland, just "live and let live" approach ain't gonna fucking work.
If they do not cease this bs peacefully, the only way I can protect the future and survival of my people is by fucking removing these traitors and foreigners whose actions and presence form an existential threat to my people.

I am not a man of violence, but if democracy fails to put a stop to this madness, what other options have I left?
I do not accept a future where my grandchildren are ruled over by foreign people. I will never accept such a future, and I will fucking kill people to prevent it from happening.

I've got 2 weeks off that are about to end and things at work really seem better off without me and that sucks. Finding something else is harder when you're semi-fucked in the head. On the other hand you think you can better yourself because it's only you yourself telling you that you can't do it,but the other hand is that if you've been fucked up in the head for most of the time of your life you can't really see a straight path ahead or even a path at all for yourself because you're you. Even worse when you're gambling addicted and have been in the red for years. Living at my parents but paying more than the half of the rent is also dangerous. They say they could get by and find something else,but this will suck for them as they are already over 70.

>>18462857
It seems you are lonely and frustrated, this "other people do shit in MUH COUNTRY" is just a coverage for your anger, if the situation was different right now you would have complained about other things with the same rage. If the media hyped a different topic, you would rage about this particular hyped topic.
Once you start living your life, like trying to do your job best, meet women and have this mental up and downs, have good time with friends and shit you will just stop caring about some "big world migration changes". You talk in such broad terms, democracy, population... It has zero to do with your own life. One day you realise that when it comes to actual real people, statistics dont apply. Dont concern yourself with something you cant change.

i just got slapped with a wave of depression and had to leave the water park i was at with my parents

they're still at the water park and i'm in my hotel room sulking

i fucking hate when i'm having a good day and depression ruins it

>>18462894
>It seems you are lonely and frustrated, this "other people do shit in MUH COUNTRY" is just a coverage for your anger, if the situation was different right now you would have complained about other things with the same rage. If the media hyped a different topic, you would rage about this particular hyped topic.

Nice strawman.

>Once you start living your life, like trying to do your job best, meet women and have this mental up and downs, have good time with friends and shit you will just stop caring about some "big world migration changes". You talk in such broad terms, democracy, population... It has zero to do with your own life. One day you realise that when it comes to actual real people, statistics dont apply. Dont concern yourself with something you cant change.

The threats that face my people, including my potential grandchildren, won't fucking go away if I don't pay any attention to them you moron. That's the attitude of an ostrich that stuffs it's head underground in the face of danger.
Fuck, if anything, once I have more invested in this society than just my loyalty to my own people, I will be even more adamant about fighting against the threats that loom over my people. I will fight against this bs to my last damn breath, and strive to bring every single one of the traitors who have sold my people out to the sword of justice.

>Dont concern yourself with something you cant change.
This is the thinking of a mediocre human. Grander aspirations have woken within me, that will not be satisfied with a mediocre existence. I will rebel against this current corrupt order, because to accept it and live under it, would be nothing short of torment to me.

>never be particularly in interested in sex
>low libido, rather frigid
>meet this guy
>suddenly I'm swimming in the most delicious and pure fantasies of love-making with him


I just want to kiss his lips, brush this little lock from his forehead and tell him how much I want him. And then have my way with him.

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how do some of these anons keep it together daily when the tiniest shit sets them off? I can't fathom the stress. Self doubting every action, needing constant validation and hand holding from strangers instead of learning through experience which only supports their compulsive behavior to question fucking everything down to text response time meanings. I appreciate when there's real issues but damn the majority is depressing.

>friends make you go to a con to another city and cosplay a character from a movie
>turns out to be quite fun, feel poplar with all those people wanting to take a pic with you
>nevermind that though
>meet two folks there who cosplayed the same movie, turns out they're from the same city
>fun niggas who have some black humor and like to have a drink
>after getting back home meet up with them several times and with their other friends also
>fun folks but it turns out our personalities/interests only overlap in a part and otherwise we got somewhat different temperament, level of openness, tastes
>sometimes feel really awkward, especially when alone with a group that knows each other for several months at least
Honestly at this point I just decided to try watching some series they like so I have something to talk about in case it gets awkward but I feel like I'm not the target audience.
The worst part is that I'm sort of, kind of starting to crush on a girl from that group (I bet it's because these two folks that I met first told me she finds me attractive, dammit) and I don't even have anything to text her about, maybe besides of uni-related stuff. Well hopefully I meet someone else to diffuse my romantic interest before it's too late. Can't imagine myself in a relationship anyways.
Good that at least my professional life seems to shape up a bit. I was worried through 3/4 of June since I quit my previous job last month, but now suddenly I have a few good offers to choose from.

I could've been with my crush right now. BUT NO. THANK YOU R.

>>18463159
Yep no problem.

Been interested in girl at work for a while, we have been getting closer and I asked her out. She said yes enthusiastically and I was really excited. The day came and she hit me with a maybe another time, since then she's been cold. I guess she changed her mind. I'm trying to stay positive about it, I have a lot going for me and I am a good person who deserves someone who will treat me right.

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>>18456055
I'm trying to apply for a job, and they claim to be always hiring, but they ask it be done through referral only.

I do have a friend who might be willing to refer me, but I'm afraid to ask him to, because if it doesn't work out, I'm concerned that it would make him look bad for doing so when I show up turning out to be a total sperg.

>>18462958
I'm jealous. At least you have people to talk to and you aren't abhorrent

You don't seem to be someone who needs advice.

I don't want to tell you how many people I've been with before you, because I'm afraid of making you worried. Or that you'll feel insignificant when it's the opposite. I can't go back and change it now, I just want us to be happy together. I hope it never comes up.

>>18463197
I pictured the old man replying to me on 4chan and snorted.

My friends stopped inviting me out to group outings because i'm too socially awkward in group situations. Yet, they think it's acceptable to invite me out as a third wheel. Either way.. i appreciate them for trying in both situations but i hate going out unless it's to do errands, like grocery shopping.

Clinically depressed, but I won't even be able to see a doctor until mid-July. I've been waiting for months now, and I just want it to be over.

im getting super frustrated...this year has been extremely shitty sales wise and because of it i had to find a job. I gave you everything you made so much money off me and yet when the chips are down you give opportunities to other people. What do i have to do man, i really wanted this to be my career but i can't live like this anymore.

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Am I dumb for thinking that this guy was murdered?

I've been sleeping a lot the past couple days. 8 hours a sleep at night + 3 hour naps during the day.
Its not like I've been depressed or anything major. I just feel tired all the time.

Holy Shit it's Grimes, isn't it?

I want to talk with you

>>18463458
Why can't you? The game? It's soon right?
There's a funeral...
There are multiple funerals.
Then a wedding
Then a celebration.

It's a meme. My intention was that it was supposed to be funny. Why do people take things so literally?

>>18463513
What meme you dip

Hey snowden.

You're a punk little faggot that killed a fuckton of people with your little stunt. You don't know this yet but you get yours.

Stop fucking hacking my computer you little fuckstick. You have literally no life with how much time you spend on this shit.

You know who I am. You know I'm a good person but you will fucking fear me.

>>18463580
the plot thickens. dun dun DUUUUUUNNNN.

>>18463580

:^) this is the final nail my friend, your computer is done for

I FUCKING HATE WAITING ON SHIT AND NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE SHIT HAPPEN. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT ON EVERYONE'S BULLSHIT FFS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.

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>>18463638

pssst

They find you through my computer.

You dun fucked up.

Holy shit those pops were gunshots after all. You double tap them don't you? It's happened quite a few times so I guess those were the assassins you keep telling me about.

Thank you seal team 6, you guys are the best.

Raises for everyone. Extremely dangerous work I assume. I didn't make it easy on you with my iron man call outs.

Holy shit there are a lot of revelations tonight.

I'm the boogeyman. If I say your name you die. No one wants to associate with me and they have to do it in secret. At least for the moment.

I don't want anyone to get hurt, that's so fucked up. Is that on me? Like, the weight of it hasn't truly hit me yet but when it does that's going to be fucking heavy.

I like how this gioyc thread is longer than the one from a few days ago. Did someone get their initials on here too many times lol

>>18463679
Yeah no problem man. Gotta get the boogey men outta this area somehow

>>18463688
>If I say your name you die
dementia anon, real talk, do you do drugs? you were talking about methadone the other day.

>>18463710
Maybe this is why this thread is longer than other one from a few days ago.

>>18463718
it's longer because the board is slower so this one isn't slid off the board for longer.

like it's seriously just around longer.

NOT EVERY POST ON SOME TOPICS IS ME WOMAN. FFS. THIS IS WHY I WANTED EASILY ATTRIBUTABLE COMMUNICATION VIA EMAIL OR SOME SHIT.

man, this week. I'm gonna lose my fucking shit with all the bullshit happening. wew lad we're reaching bullshit levels that frankly I thought were over.

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// https://youtu.be/WA6WVRLlsXA

>>18463747
But... i don't wanna be your penpal... i wanna be your girlfriend... maybe.. wife? Maybe?

>>18463756
Who is this for?

I'm so fucking baked and I really hope she doesn't call me.

>>18463831
No one in particular, just like the song and my sister likes Quavo and Migos loads

>>18463816
in person is even better.

I wish everything would just end.